What do you think?
Rate this book
285 pages, Kindle Edition
First published October 24, 2017
“I’m supposed to be getting myself together and not getting swept up in all the things I usually get swept up in. I keep saying I need to work on me, but I’m doing everything right and I still feel like something’s missing.” Her eyes were impossibly blue as they gazed up at mine. “Is it you?”
“Do you ever wish you could take a moment and keep it forever? Like right now…how you taste on my mouth, and your hands on me, and your eyes…God, Sawyer, the way you’re looking at me… If I could have just one moment, one feeling, and live in it forever, I would choose this one.”
“Everyone is worthy of love,” Max said. “But it starts with loving yourself first. That sounds like cheesy, clichéd shit, but it’s true. You have to know you can be good for someone else. Not just to fill up that hole in yourself, but to give.”
“We’re all made up of strengths and weaknesses, every one of us. You have strengths. Plenty. Getting clean is a strength. Picking yourself back up again after you fall, that’s a strength.”
“You deserve to be loved as you are, Darlene. Not in bits and pieces.” – Max
“I will always be an addict even if you put the word ‘recovering’ in front of it. I will always have to work ten times as hard to be trusted, to be trustworthy but that’s the price I have to pay for my mistakes.” – Darlene
“. . .you can came along and now everything’s different. It’s better. It’s better, Darlene, when I’d sort of given up on being happy.” – Sawyer
"You're going to cook for me? We met eight seconds ago."She's everything I wanted! And I loved watching Sawyer try to figure out what to do with her 😂 He was honestly so lost at times and it was adorable.
"So?"
Talking felt like giving a eulogy, over and over again, for someone who had died a long time ago. I didn't want to resurrect that addict-self. That girl was gone and I wanted her to stay gone.
"I hate that no matter what I do, I'll always be that girl. The girl who was weak and sad. Who had this big yawning hole of want in her, and filled it up with terrible shit."Thankfully Darlene meets people willing to help her; to see past who she was and embrace her for who she is. This quote is one of my faves...
"You deserved to be loved as you are, Darlene. Not in bits and pieces."😭😭😭
"I will always be an addict even if you put the word 'recovering' in front of it. I will always have to work ten times as hard to be trusted, to be trustworthy but that's the price I have to pay for my mistakes."
It was a piece of my past, but not the sum of it.-Sawyer-
I felt something shift in me. One tiny tear in my fabric, the first of many that would eventually lead to a complete unraveling and remaking of me into someone I'd hardly recognize.Like BOOM! I was done for. And then he started being sweet on Darlene...
She was a collage of striking features—a wide mouth, large eyes, full lips, high cheekbones, dark eyebrows—not one aspect insignificant.
"I was going to say you're like a human tornado."
"Oh," Darlene said. Her face fell, the light in her eyes dimmed slightly. "I'm like a twisty windstorm that destroys everything I touch?"
"No, not at all... I meant, you're like this whirling ball of energy that sweeps people up so they…can't help getting caught up in you."
He withdrew a bouquet of three white roses from behind his back. "It's the best I could do on short notice."
"I try so hard…and it all just slips out of my grasp... I can't hold on to anything…"
I swallowed hard, Henrietta's words filtering into my thoughts. I set the flowers down and put my arms around her.
"Not this time." I said, gruffly. "Hold on to me."
"I'm trying to be romantic. How am I doing so far?"You're doing fantastic, Sawyer.
"Everything good in my life is because of you. How do I thank you for that?"Emma is a true master when it comes to character development and her writing never fails to impress me. There is a lot more I could say, but I don't want to give too much of the story away. So I'll end this review the way I end every ES review...
She smiled and traced the line of my jaw with her finger. "You don't, silly. Just love me, Sawyer."
"You’ll always be an addict. You’ll always fight that battle. But fight it with your best, most honest self, if you want a chance to win.” - Max
"Law doesn’t have feelings. It has direction. It tells you where to go and what comes next.” - Sawyer
God, Sawyer, the way you’re looking at me… If I could have just one moment, one feeling, and live in it forever, I would choose this one.” - Darlene"
“A tornado, Darlene,” he whispered. “I’m swept up.”- Sawyer
“…telling you not to love is like depriving a flower of sunlight. You aren’t meant to be contained, Darlene.”
“I closed my eyes and used my infallible memory to recall Darlene, in perfect detail. A few tricks of mental Photoshop, and she was lying next to me, her dark hair splayed across my pillow, her mouth inches from mine – laughing and smiling…”
Even though I felt the story was a tad too cloying not to mention boring, I still think it's definitely a case of "it's me and not the book".
Darlene must be a flexible dancer, I thought, because she slipped past all of my usual barricades and defenses, bending and contorting herself through a field of red laser beams like a ninja in a spy movie.
Even though the drugs were long gone, the shame they left behind hurt in so many ways.
“It’s a good feeling.”
“What’s that?”
“Being trusted.”
“I watched her walk away and the weariness hit me. It did that sometimes, like being punched in the gut. The late nights and sleeplessness, stress and anxiety; it all bowled right into me. No beers with the guys. No dates with hot study partners. No sex, no parties...”
“I hate that no matter what I do, I’ll always be that girl. The girl who was weak and sad. Who had this big yawning hole of want in her, and filled it up with terrible shit. And you know what? The drugs are gone but the want is still there, and the good things I want to fill it with are right in front of me but I’m scared to grab for them.”
“Well, according to Henrietta, the universe is listening.” “What’s that mean?” “You get back what you put in. Negative shit gets you negative shit. Positive energy begets positive energy. Whatever you put out there in the universe…it listens. And then it answers.