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Secret Lives of the First Ladies: Strange Stories and Shocking Trivia From Inside the White House

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Whether she's a leading lady, loyal spouse, or lightning rod for scandal, the First Lady of the United States has always been in the spotlight--and in 2017 that's truer than ever. This revised and expanded edition features outrageous and uncensored profiles of the women of the White House, from Martha to Melania, complete with hundreds of little-known, politically incorrect, and downright wacko facts. Did you know that . . .
- Dolley Madison loved to chew tobacco
- Mary Todd Lincoln conducted seances on a regular basis
- Eleanor Roosevelt and Ellen Wilson both carried guns
- Jacqueline Kennedy spent $121,000 on her wardrobe in a single year
- Betty Ford liked to chat on CB radios--her handle was -First Mama-
And much, much more.
American history was never this much fun in school!

352 pages, Paperback

First published May 1, 2005

About the author

Cormac O'Brien

17 books21 followers

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530 (27%)
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131 (6%)
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 212 reviews
Profile Image for Jessica (Odd and Bookish).
611 reviews815 followers
December 2, 2018
I received this book for free from the publisher (Quirk Books) in exchange for an honest review.

I loved this book! I love history, especially when it comes to topics that are not talked about much. So naturally, this book was right up on my alley.

This edition of the book features profiles of all the First Ladies, including the most recent one, Melania Trump. It gives a short biography about each First Lady and her time in the White House, as well as some fun facts and stories. There are also some fun illustrations (which I loved).

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My biggest takeaway from this was that so many of the First Ladies had tragic lives. Many of them were upset and cried when their husbands became president. A lot of them had to endure a bunch of bad stuff (absent husbands, children dying, health problems, long travels, etc.) to help their husbands get to the White House. I had no idea that this was the reality for a majority of them. Their lives were not as glamorous as some may have thought.

Hardly anyone ever talks about the First Ladies (especially the earlier ones) so it was really insightful to learn more about them. They deserve more recognition than they get.

Overall, if you want a fun little history lesson on the First Ladies, then look no further, this book is for you!
Profile Image for Csquared.
26 reviews5 followers
April 11, 2009
I'm giving this a five star since I'd really only thought this would end up being a good bathroom reader, if you know what I mean. Instead, I found myself rereading my favorite wives or referencing them in conversation. The short excerpts are perfect for a shorter attention span (or a bathroom reader, lol). All the extra insider details read like that favorite history teacher who gave you all the real scoop.
Author 3 books11 followers
September 8, 2012
There isn't so much plot in this book as there is anecdote - and yet it still manages to capture attention and flow.

For instance - Martha Washington might have been involved in the death of her first husband's half-brother? It's just not the picture I had in my mind of our first First Lady.

And being as Grover Cleveland wasn't particularly prominent in my childhood education, I hadn't heard the details of his White House marriage.

Really, Grover? Your former ward? The daughter of your best friend? Proof that there were People of Wal Mart long before there was Wal Mart.

Because
Secret Lives of the First Ladies: What Your Teachers Never Told You About the Women of the White House is not a story, but a series of vignettes taking a gossipy look at the lives of the women behind the men leading the nation, it can be read in short bursts while waiting for kids at sports practices, at doctor's offices, or while waiting for the slow wheels of bureaucracy to... do anything. Leaving and coming back to the stories presents no hardship in how they are processed.

And Cormac O'Brien writes up gossip better than the Daily Mail, so the entertainment promised is delivered with exponents tacked onto the end. Delivered so well, in fact, that I immediately bought his Secret Lives of the U.S. Presidents.

On a final note, I had no idea that Martin Van Buren neglected to even mention his wife in his memoirs. What a jerk.
Profile Image for Deb (Readerbuzz) Nance.
6,125 reviews313 followers
August 28, 2019
Well, that was fun.

My f-t-f book club is reading the lives of First Ladies, each participant picking one and reading about her, but, of course, I couldn't do that, so instead I decided to read about all of them (up to 2005, anyway, the book's copyright date).

I found I especially liked Mary Todd Lincoln (who doesn't?), Lou Henry Hoover (a geologist), Lady Bird Johnson (with such a bossy husband), Laura Bush (who knew she smoked until the 1990s?), as well as Abigail Fillmore (started a library at the White House) and Florence Harding (wife of the most corrupt president...though this title could be questioned today, perhaps).

What did the best of these First Ladies have in common? Ambitious for their husbands. Very bright. Right hand man of the president. Able to overlook flaws of the presidents and focus on their strengths. Multi-taskers. A strong sense of what was right.

A fun read. I may look for more of this series from Quirk Books.
Profile Image for J.J. Lair.
Author 6 books49 followers
July 9, 2020
This was different than the stories you get of presidents. This is from the woman side, you find out that a lot of will-be presidents married up for money or prestige. I’m sure love too. There were a lot of first ladies that didn’t want their husband going to the White House. There are more first ladies more troubled than you’ll believe but there are more ladies more talented than we ever knew. The women in the book were more interesting than their husbands.
Jason Rekulak was an editor of this book. He wrote a fantastic book called “Impossible Fortress.”
The writing was entertaining and there was a lot of information.
Profile Image for Katie B.
1,477 reviews3,123 followers
November 6, 2017
This book contains the brief biographies and random trivia of the First Ladies starting with Martha Washington and ending with the current First Lady, Melania Trump. The biography of each woman is usually around 5-10 pages and includes a black and white illustration. Also included are page long descriptions of the other women who were married to the presidents but did not serve as a First Lady.

I thought this book provided a good look at the history of wives of presidents and how the role of First Lady has evolved over the years. I found it fascinating how so many of of the women didn't want their husbands to win the presidential election because it meant their lives would be turned upside down. The information is presented in a casual type format and provides enough information about each woman that you really feel by the end of each biography you really understood their true personality. While this book might not satisfy history buffs because each biography is brief, I do think casual fans of history will enjoy this book.

I won this book in a giveaway by Quirk Books but was under no obligation to post a review. All views expressed are my honest opinion.
Profile Image for Lydia.
183 reviews
November 16, 2021
No holds barred, across the centuries, American presidents’ lives are a shit-show. There’s no other explanation if you get even halfway through this book. Lord. Trump doesn’t even compare to the drunk and philandering assholes who were president and only bolstered up by their First Ladies, at least according to this book. It is simultaneously a fascinating and demoralizing read to learn of the sardonically summarized lives of America’s leading ladies.

After finishing this, I found some parts needlessly crass and insensitive for the sake of humor. At the same time, I appreciated the Spark Notes style review of first ladies’ loves that made me want to read more deeply about each of the First Ladies and their husbands. This book set out on an expansive and irreverent task, and I think it achieved both.
Profile Image for Jason Pierce.
789 reviews98 followers
June 27, 2021
Solid four stars. Read date of 2007 is an estimation, could be off by a couple of years.

This is O'Brien's companion book to Secret Lives of the U.S. Presidents, and it's a hoot. I even pick it up every now and then just to review a few of the tidbits because it's so much fun.

It's nice to see the first ladies get their day in the sun, for many of them deserve it. When asked why a movie had been made about his wife and not him, Gerald Ford simply replied "Because my wife is much more interesting!" This can be applied to several first couples, though that's not always a good thing for the people involved. Jane Pierce spent the entire presidency locked in her room penning letters to her dead son (I don't know if he ever got any of them), and forcing Frank to read the Bible to the White House staff and lead them in a hymn sing-along every day. She also cancelled the traditional Saturday Marine Corps Band concerts because Saturday nights were supposed to be a time for preparing for the sabbath. (Oh, those pious Pierces.) Uncle Frank dealt with this by getting drunk as much as possible and letting the country go to complete shit. So, while Aunt Jane was more interesting, she certainly wasn't a barrel of laughs. Then again, neither was Frank. (Frankly, that whole branch of the family sucks.) Jane wasn't the only one who was loony tunes, but I'll leave the rest out in hopes that you'll read this book.

I understand there's been an update which carries matters all the way up to Melania, but my book stops with Laura Bush. Personally, I'm grateful for this because I'm just fine not reading anything about Michelle. However, judging from the last entries in the book, O'Brien seems to lean right, so he probably doesn't gush over her the way everyone else seems to, and it might be okay. He doesn't shy away from poking at the modern Republican first ladies, but it seems lighter. That might be because they had a tendency to hover further in the background compared to their Democrat counterparts. And really, Hillary brought a lot of it on herself. Love her or hate her, she was a mover and a shaker. Laura didn't shake jack, and neither did her mother-in-law Barbara. And while Nancy Reagan made a few waves, she couldn't touch Hillary in that department. It reminds me of that old (bad) joke where Bill and Hillary stopped at a gas station after he had become president, and ran into Hillary's old boyfriend who was a gas jockey. After they left, Bill said "Aren't you glad you married me instead of him since I became president?" Hillary replied "But Bill, if I had married him, he would've been president." This isn't entirely accurate since Bill had political aspirations to be president, but I don't know if he would've pulled it off without his wife's help. However, the sentiment could certainly be applied to the Hardings. Warren didn't even really want to be president, but his wife Florence wanted it, and what "the duchess" said went, so she made him run, and... It looks like I'm starting to ruin the plot, and I said I wasn't going to do that, so I'll quit here.

As with its brother book about our presidents, this isn't meant to give you in-depth details about the first ladies; just a fun summary with the juiciest parts. If you like light bios and anecdotes which are well-written, and you have an interest in the subject matter, then this is the book for you.
Profile Image for Sally Kilpatrick.
Author 17 books279 followers
Read
January 6, 2019
Well, I've finished this book finally.

O'Brien was doing well up until the modern ladies. The chapter on Michelle Obama was. . . not good, but then again the edition that I have was published in 2009 so I'm not sure that he had much to work with. Best I can tell anyone with a partisan leaning--and this is the age of Trump, so almost everyone has a partisan leaning--thinks this book leans to the side they don't support. We were doing just fine and pretty much down the middle until we hit Rosalyn Carter. For heaven's sake, why would you illustrate ANY first lady next to John Wayne Gacy? Especially not Rosalyn. Talk about her photo with the bastard sure, but THAT's your illustration? That's how you want to represent a woman who still volunteers with Habitat for Humanity?

Then there was the part where the author said Barbara Bush advanced the national dialogue on racism. Um, I have no recollection of that, senator--and feel free to give me some quotes if I missed it. Or his ending sentence on B. Bush: "Looks like leaving college to raise a family wasn't such a bad idea after all." Dude just got done telling me that Barbara suffered from depression and feelings of inadequacy when George Senior went to work with all of these women who were college educated! I mean, I was concerned about her mental health. Bad enough that she refused therapy, but now you're going to say that?!

Anyhoo, Mr. Man clearly prefers the Bushes over the Clintons and the Obamas and must not have much respect for the Carters, either. (See above) The whole "Whiteygate" nonscandal didn't even merit mention under Michelle Obama's section for sure--I was alive for that one, too. (I'm not touching the Hillary Clinton section. I would have to study her for 10 years to separate myth from fact at this point, and I don't have that kind of time. She definitely suffers from foot in mouth disease.)

The best part of the book includes sections from Frank Cleveland through Mamie Eisenhower. Those are the first ladies we don't know that much about. I mean, Mrs. Taft went surfing. Who knew?

And, up until modern times, O'Brien manages to keep it pretty even. Lots of adulterers and more than a few power-hungry first ladies. I guess one has to be full of oneself to want the job, am I right? If you're looking for a book of quick anecdotes, then I suppose you might as well go ahead. Understand that you're going to learn--if you didn't already know--that John Q. Adams was a total prick as was LBJ and Calvin Coolidge at the very least.

I'll freely admit that I tend toward the liberal side, so keep that in mind. Oh, and if you can't stand things like "Martha Washington was left with two brats" then skip it. A few of the reviews indicate that some folks can't handle a flippant tone. This was not a problem with me in and of itself.
73 reviews
September 29, 2018
*2.5 stars* It was OK. Entertaining, but something to read for fun as opposed to an educated analysis of these women. As the title suggests, don't expect David McCullough.

Pluses: the book repeatedly gives credit where credit is due, and emphasizes the difficulty of this often involuntary office, and points out that many of the women called to it were amazing individuals in their own right. It spends as much time on who they were outside of their husband (childhood, education, hobbies) as on their role in office. Each first spouse is given 2 -6 pages; so it's an an easy and quick read. If you are a casual reader of history, it is a fun introduction to the topic. It's nice to know that someone took the time to write about these women and in a positive way.

Minuses: has a bathroom reader/Don't Know Much About History feel....a first lady chewing tobacco! A first lady who rode a tractor growing up! It's entertaining, but experienced history readers will find it grating. Also - much of the information will not be new, unless you have never read about these administrations before. The chapters about the first ladies prior to Jackie Kennedy are the most engaging.
Profile Image for Chelsea.
678 reviews223 followers
October 9, 2007
Fun, but lacking depth. Each First Lady gets a page or two - I think Eleanor Roosevelt and Jackie Kennedy might get three. It was nice to learn about some of the lesser known First Ladies, but nothing I feel the need to reread. It wouldn't make for a good reference, either, unless all you wanted was a very basic bio and a fun fact or two.
Profile Image for Ronnie Cramer.
1,030 reviews27 followers
April 18, 2019
Despite the somewhat suggestive title, this is a light-hearted and mostly-positive series of biographies. Includes women who were married to future or former presidents but who did not serve in the White House.
41 reviews1 follower
July 30, 2012
This book contains little bios and stories of the president's wives. It is a light and fun way to learn a little unusual history.
Profile Image for Vanessa Nicolle.
19 reviews3 followers
February 13, 2019
LOVED this book! Takes a very neutral political stance to the times and chocked full of interesting stories. Through this book I feel like I have so much more respect for First Ladies in the White House. Also, the illustrations rock hard.
Profile Image for Ann Emond.
5 reviews2 followers
February 17, 2018
Very informative, easy read, Difficult to remember all the facts about the first ladies.

I recommend this book. It does not seem to be political. Just facts without comments from the
author. It needs a timeline so the reader can place the events.
Profile Image for Chris.
341 reviews1,049 followers
February 9, 2008
This is a follow-up to O'Brien's previous book, Secret Lives of the U.S. Presidents, which, while a fascinating book, is a topic that has been covered many times. I have, in fact, two books on this topic, and they both illuminate the hidden idiosyncrasies, character flaws, shining moments of virtue and petty humanity of the 43 Commanders-in-Chief.

It was Abagail Adams who exhorted her husband to, "Remember the ladies," and it seems that O'Brien has done just that. He's given us a nice concise look at the women of the White House, and it's a hell of a read.

It's very easy to forget the First Ladies, and kind of pigeonhole them into the space that reads "President's wife," but to do so would be a great disservice to an amazing group of women. Political powerhouses such as Eleanor Roosevelt, Jocelyn Carter, Edith Wilson and Helen Taft go up against the populist idols such as Jacqueline Kennedy, Frances Cleveland, Mamie Eisenhower and Dolley Madison. And then there were the sick and the insane, like Mary Todd Lincoln, Jane Pierce, Elizabeth Monroe and Ida McKinley.

Their relationships with their husbands are also well-detailed, and also somewhat surprising. For all the Bill Clinton was a lecher, he was hardly the first. Hillary joined a group of long-suffering women who put up with blatant and repeated infidelities in and out of the White House. Some relationships were partnerships, like the Carters, the Hoovers and the Tafts. And some couples were just quietly devoted to each other, like the McKinleys and the Clevelands.

Check it out. There's a lot of new things to learn in this book, and a lot of inspiration to be had.
Profile Image for Jean.
1,770 reviews768 followers
January 11, 2015
This is a great book for gathering trivia information but be forewarned the book mixes facts with gossip. I recently read “Upstairs at the White House” by J. B. West which is West’s memoirs as Chief Usher in charge of the East wing of the White House and the first ladies. West book is all facts. O’Brien’s book covers all of the first ladies to date. The first ladies are a position of marriage and she is not paid for any of her work. The effect the first ladies have on the nation is immense and should not be overlooked.

Some of the information is well known such as Abigail Adam’s letter to her husband John while he was working with the group writing the Constitution to “Remember the ladies”. The author says it was Helen Taft that saw to the planting of the cherry trees that was send as a gift from Japan. O’Brien also includes some little know facts such as the candy bar Baby Ruth was named after President Cleveland’s baby daughter.

O’Brien states some the Presidents and their wife’s were partnerships, like the Carters, The Hoovers and the Taft’s while other Presidential couples were just quietly devoted to each other, such as the McKinley’s, the Cleveland’s, and the Truman’s.

The book has made me want to learn more about some of the first ladies. I shall be off to the library looking for a good in-depth biography of a first lady. I read this as an audio book downloaded from Audible. Teresa DeBerry narrated the book. There is so much information in this book I am going to purchase a hard book edition.

Profile Image for Gwen.
8 reviews
July 14, 2018
Interesting tidbits about our First Ladies (which is why I gave it 2 stars instead of 1), but really horribly written overall. Gratuitous swearing, an immature writing style and a clear liberal bias sum up why I wouldn't recommend this book to anyone wanting to learn more about our First Ladies (all of whom are worthy of being read about).

This snippet from Julia Gardiner Tyler's chapter illustrates the immature writing style "Julia continued to bear children for her seemingly inexhaustible husband (John fathered his last of 15 children when he was seventy years old, for crying out loud)." Really?! Fathering children close to that age with a second (or third) wife wasn't that unusual for that time period given the number of women who died in childbirth (or from other causes). While an interesting tidbit (this is why there were 2 grandsons of John Tyler still living, at least until recently), no real need to be snarky or snide.

I have to wonder why the author neglects to mention the first two wives of Donald Trump while devoting at least several paragraphs to all the wives of the other presidents, regardless of whether they ever lived in the White House.
Profile Image for April.
301 reviews41 followers
June 7, 2016
I loved this informative book about the First Ladies of the U.S. In 3-4 pages, you learn about the life of every first lady, how they met their spouse (future President), their legacy in the White House, a few "fun facts," along with their biography stats (DOB-DOD, Children Names, Years of FLOTUS and a famous quote).

It's a great way to cram a few hundred years of knowledge into a few hundred pages - I highly recommend!
Profile Image for Amy.
267 reviews1 follower
January 5, 2017
This book was a surprise. It has short stories about each of the first ladies. I found the format to be really easy to dip in and out of. Some of the first ladies I had no idea about their lives, and others I knew a lot about. Each one I was really engrossed in, no matter how much I had already known about them. The book doesn't delve into great detail about the first ladies, just a few pages on each, but I found it a very interesting read.
Profile Image for Hannah.
663 reviews1 follower
May 25, 2023
I really enjoyed learning little snippets about all the first ladies. Each was short so that you got just enough information without getting super tedious. I didn't realize how many of them had absolutely no desire to be first ladies. The book talked about religion, children, and all sorts of trivia. It made me want to learn more about some of them, and not so much about others.
Profile Image for Holly.
118 reviews1 follower
February 8, 2016
Probably more of a 3.5 stars book, but I liked most of it--at least the sections about all of the First Ladies pre-Kennedy. The modern First Lady sections were just flat out less interesting.

Still, the book was generally an easy and fun read. It was a little gossipy at times, but that may be the nature of the format.
Profile Image for Susan Arena.
145 reviews
October 21, 2017
This book does not give information about these ladies that is secret or very interesting. Much of it could be found on google with a simple search. the author writes in a semi-comedic style which I did not enjoy. I would not recommend this book unless you want to learn the most basic information about the first ladies all in one place.
Profile Image for Patty.
1,657 reviews5 followers
April 17, 2018
Interesting. One thing jumps out; all of the First Ladies were if not very well educated (and most were) were very bright and/or smart. All of them supported their husbands even if they did not agree with him. Nearly all seemed to really dislike the spotlite of publicity. I enjoyed this book, it was a quick, light two night read.
Profile Image for Sally N. Inglis.
128 reviews3 followers
June 25, 2017
All about the Ladies

I truly enjoyed learning about our First Ladies. Some were born to the role, some pushed their husbands, others cried at the thought. But they all rose to the occasion and did their best.
Profile Image for Sara.
216 reviews16 followers
June 6, 2007
This was a really fun book. It contains short biographies of every woman who has ever been married to a president of the United States, including all kinds of fun and quirky trivia.
October 2, 2016
Great read for fans of historical biographies.

Injections of humor and antidotes provide an easy read. Non biased interpretations of events add to the validity of the tales.
Profile Image for Jenna.
73 reviews2 followers
April 8, 2020
You can definitely learn a lot from this book. It starts out as an easy read with like 3 pages dedicated to each First Lady but as you come up in more recent history, the little stories of each one get longer I guess cuz we have more information on them. I learned that Edith Wilson was a descendant if Pocahontas, Martha Washington may have murdered someone, Betty Ford took Valium everyday, Rosalynn Carter met John Wayne Gacey, Julia Grant was hilarious and threw great parties, Julia Tyler had an impeccable fashion sense, Nancy Reagan sensed something horrible happened at the moment her husband was shot, and Louisa Adams was the only First Lady to be born overseas (London) until Melania Trump became First Lady in 2017 (that last part isn’t in the book but yeah.) Many former presidents would not have gotten their positions of power without their wives support and advice-it’s like a lot of them would’ve made terrible decisions without working through the problems with their wives, which is interesting. However it also seems the vast majority of First Ladies were very unhappy with their husbands’ elections into office. Also, a great many of them suffered from anxiety and depression as a result, often being confined to their beds, having nervous breakdowns, taking (mostly ineffective) medication, and resorting to things such as seances and fortune tellers to ease their stress. It’s a really interesting book, all I can say is that personally I don’t need 4 pages telling me the timeline of their husbands work from lawyer in most cases to president like I don’t really care, I just want anecdotes basically. That’s why only 3 stars.
Profile Image for Mariah Oleszkowicz.
447 reviews1 follower
January 19, 2021
If there is one thing I learned, most women don't want their husbands to be president. It sounds like a terrible position where it is easier to be told you are doing it wrong than actually able to do it right. Some interesting things I learned: John Tyler's 2nd wife (Julia) was so much younger than him, he fathered his last son at 70. His grandson is still alive! Hayes didn't win the popular vote. There were a lot of times that America was very very divided. Often, the 1st lady was the person to mend the relationship but sometimes, she drove in the wedge in the first place.
This book does a quick intro and covers the basic facts of a 1st lady's stint in the white house. However, it glosses over some important facts as I discovered on reading about Martha Washington. I just read a biography about her and found the simplified version of her time as 1st lady left me a little indignant. I'm looking forward to reading more detailed versions of these women's lives but I get a sense of the atmosphere in the white house from this book.
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