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Cold Sweat
Fleeing college pressure, Jules heads home to rest, recharge, and figure out a plan before fall break ends. Eager to spend time with her mother and stepfather, there's one presence she's less thrilled about Red.
The sentient, smirking pitcher of Cherry Chill-Assist Punch was a huge pain in the glass. He'd been getting under her skin for two years now, ever since their parents' wedding day. Red's taste in entertainment and weirdly suggestive commentary were driving her crazy, a destination she was capable of finding all on her own.
With big life decisions looming, his antics shake up Jules' already-fragile peace, steering her towards a leisurely evening in her mom's new sauna. It seems like the perfect remedy for stress...until Red invites himself along. Close, steamy confines have a way of outing secrets, and Red has a huge one he can't keep on ice any longer.
Will Jules be able to resist her thirst for the unknown, or will the truth about her stepbrother refresh her perspective entirely?
***
Cold Sweat is a PARODY MF sentient object romance novella between a human woman and a large, glass pitcher of Cherry Chill-Assist drink mix. No, that's not a metaphor. It's made of glass. Yes, I am referring to exactly what you think I am. Yes, this was written by the same woman who wrote the door one. And the balloons. And the boat.
At this point, you know what you're getting into, friends.
Full content considerations will be in the book, and readers are always welcome to reach out to the author directly with any questions or concerns. I appreciate your company and support on this wild, weird authoring journey!
The sentient, smirking pitcher of Cherry Chill-Assist Punch was a huge pain in the glass. He'd been getting under her skin for two years now, ever since their parents' wedding day. Red's taste in entertainment and weirdly suggestive commentary were driving her crazy, a destination she was capable of finding all on her own.
With big life decisions looming, his antics shake up Jules' already-fragile peace, steering her towards a leisurely evening in her mom's new sauna. It seems like the perfect remedy for stress...until Red invites himself along. Close, steamy confines have a way of outing secrets, and Red has a huge one he can't keep on ice any longer.
Will Jules be able to resist her thirst for the unknown, or will the truth about her stepbrother refresh her perspective entirely?
***
Cold Sweat is a PARODY MF sentient object romance novella between a human woman and a large, glass pitcher of Cherry Chill-Assist drink mix. No, that's not a metaphor. It's made of glass. Yes, I am referring to exactly what you think I am. Yes, this was written by the same woman who wrote the door one. And the balloons. And the boat.
At this point, you know what you're getting into, friends.
Full content considerations will be in the book, and readers are always welcome to reach out to the author directly with any questions or concerns. I appreciate your company and support on this wild, weird authoring journey!
54 pages, Kindle Edition
Published June 28, 2024
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 267 reviews
June 29, 2024
I’m still laughing, he called her his little cup 💀
This author has thought waaaay too much about what it would be like to bang the Kool-Aid Man.
Everything about this book was so so wrong, but also so so right.
How’d he have a knot though when he’s made of glass? 😱 😂
Why was the step brother kink the most normal part of this? 😱 😂
The squelching, the clinking, the sloshing? 😱 😂
His origin story? 😱 😂
But do I recommend this? Oooooooh Yeeeeaaaaah!
********************
Sometimes I worry about humanity…. But still, probably gonna read it.
This author has thought waaaay too much about what it would be like to bang the Kool-Aid Man.
Everything about this book was so so wrong, but also so so right.
How’d he have a knot though when he’s made of glass? 😱 😂
Why was the step brother kink the most normal part of this? 😱 😂
The squelching, the clinking, the sloshing? 😱 😂
His origin story? 😱 😂
But do I recommend this? Oooooooh Yeeeeaaaaah!
********************
Sometimes I worry about humanity…. But still, probably gonna read it.
June 30, 2024
I’ll see all you sickos in hell after reading this one!! 😈👹 It was surprisingly good for 54 pages of sentient kool aid step brother smut. And if you know me in real life, no you don’t. 🤦🏼♀️😂
Read
July 7, 2024okay i’m doing it…after snowman and pillow and door, it’s time for Kool-Aid man 😈
@Kristina, this is for you 🫶🏼
@Kristina, this is for you 🫶🏼
June 30, 2024
Kristina made me do it
---
This was the absolute goofiest and I loved it.
She's a human, he's a giant Kool-Aid pitcher, and they're step siblings--what more do you need to know?
20/10
---
This was the absolute goofiest and I loved it.
She's a human, he's a giant Kool-Aid pitcher, and they're step siblings--what more do you need to know?
20/10
July 29, 2024
I am in such a filthy, perverted mindset lately. It's bordering on offensive. Ask Mrs. Topside. She's getting tired of it, too. She threatened to divorce me last week after she saw my review for Corn Daddy. Wanna know why? She's got no sense of adventure or appreciation for abnormal, and potentially obscene, sexual content. She's what you call a normie. Not me, though. The weirder, the better. Marshmallows, Don Juan Velociraptors, and whatever else. I'm game. So here we have the equivalent of the Kool Aid guy, who even yells 'oh yeah,' slam banging his step sister. Good sex, a refreshing experience, and he packed a punch...like fruit punch...eh? Eh? But this pitcher of artificial flavoring and raw, sexual energy gave it his all, both hydrating and exhausting his step sibling in the most erotic of ways. Well-written sex and a comically fun experience, this is one worth reading for all the peculiar types like me.
September 22, 2024
I have only read a couple of contemporary romance novels, so when I started Cold Sweat, it was with some trepidation. However, I quickly found myself welcomed by the familiar use of a Bahamas vacation as a setting.
By the second or third chapter, when we get to know our protagonist, Jules; we find ourselves looking at a tale of mystery and romance. She’s a young student considering dropping out of college.
She's a human, he's a giant Kool-Aid pitcher, and they're step siblings--what more do you need to know?
Every slosh certainly quenched my thirst for comedy.
3/5
Glass play is involved. Obviously.
Questionable logistics, but also reasonable explanations (never mentioned if he had a face).
On a more intimate note, I've always wanted to write a book, feeling I was never normal enough to try.
This may be the very novel that helps me achieve my dreams.
Also, I fear I may now have a bloodclot in my brain.
By the second or third chapter, when we get to know our protagonist, Jules; we find ourselves looking at a tale of mystery and romance. She’s a young student considering dropping out of college.
She's a human, he's a giant Kool-Aid pitcher, and they're step siblings--what more do you need to know?
Every slosh certainly quenched my thirst for comedy.
OH YEAH
3/5
Glass play is involved. Obviously.
Questionable logistics, but also reasonable explanations (never mentioned if he had a face).
On a more intimate note, I've always wanted to write a book, feeling I was never normal enough to try.
This may be the very novel that helps me achieve my dreams.
Also, I fear I may now have a bloodclot in my brain.
June 28, 2024
I have been waiting for this one and it did not disappoint. Hilarious and sweet. I love an actual story with my bizarre smut. I also enjoy that the MMC is a nice person and has romantic partner potential. That must be so hard to do in 50 pages.
June 29, 2024
Might be comedy of the year 😂 I fell out at every slosh and quench.
Read
July 7, 2024Convinced my husband to do a buddy read with me...this might have broke his faith in romance books.
This was so silly and over the top, but also so fun. It does not take itself seriously.
This was so silly and over the top, but also so fun. It does not take itself seriously.
June 29, 2024
Curiosity wins again and honestly I’m not even mad.
My only expectation going in was that someone had better say “OH YEAH” atleast once🤣
My only expectation going in was that someone had better say “OH YEAH” atleast once🤣
August 24, 2024
“Do you think God stays in heaven because he, too, lives in fear of what he has created?” - Spy Kids 2
July 1, 2024
I’ve been not so patiently waiting for this book to release so I could read it; however, I was concerned about the step-siblings. I’m not sure why I was more concerned about that than the kool-aid man… Rest assured, the step-siblings is the least concerning part about this entire book. This was such a fun read. I mean, it’s the kool-aid guy. I don’t know how the author came up with these two trapped in a sauna together, but it was entertaining. There were some things with how the spicy parts were written that I didn’t love, but other than that, I really enjoyed this one.
June 28, 2024
Will never be able to look at red punch in the same way again! Would definitely love to find a man to wrap my fingers around his rim and for him to call me his little cup! I'd break down any walls to find a chill guy to rattle my ice cubes like that ;) A+ to Vera for another scintillating and disturbing dig into her very twisted and weird brain. Will definitely be buying this to place on my shelf next to a pitcher of liquid red 40 and a rod of glass.
June 29, 2024
Sweet, sexy and surprisingly thoughtful
Vera has once again blown me away with this book! I enjoyed every min of it! If you would have told me I'd find the "Chill-assist" man charming two hours ago I would have never believed you. A must read in my opinion!
Vera has once again blown me away with this book! I enjoyed every min of it! If you would have told me I'd find the "Chill-assist" man charming two hours ago I would have never believed you. A must read in my opinion!
August 10, 2024
So this book was decent, but it wasn’t my fave from this author. The MMC was still a bit creepy imo by the end of the book, so I wasn’t really shipping them. The concept was interesting, but just didn’t pull me in as much as I was hoping.
Spice: 4/5
Triggers: taboo step sibling relationship
Spice: 4/5
Triggers: taboo step sibling relationship
July 13, 2024
Fuck it, I drank the Kool-Aid 🤷♀️
If you look past the fact that Red is a sentient Kool-Aid pitcher he’s actually really sweet.
If you look past the fact that Red is a sentient Kool-Aid pitcher he’s actually really sweet.
July 12, 2024
Is it exactly what it says it is?
OH YEAH.
OH YEAH.
August 28, 2024
Do I recommend this book? OHHHHHH YEAH!! 💦🥤
Do it for the laughs you guys. Life shouldn’t be taken so seriously.
This author is quickly becoming a favourite of mine because of how crazy creative and witty she is. Where does she come up with these ideas and puns?! 🤣
This was hilarious right from Page 1 of the author’s notes.
Guaranteed to put a smile on your face for sure if you’re a smut reader with a sense of humour. My cheeks are sore from laughing.
Do it for the laughs you guys. Life shouldn’t be taken so seriously.
This author is quickly becoming a favourite of mine because of how crazy creative and witty she is. Where does she come up with these ideas and puns?! 🤣
This was hilarious right from Page 1 of the author’s notes.
Guaranteed to put a smile on your face for sure if you’re a smut reader with a sense of humour. My cheeks are sore from laughing.
September 2, 2024
This was really well written, and surprisingly the spice was unexpectedly hot and simultaneously funny, especially for being a sentinent object romance.
As someone who typically hates step siblings romance, that honestly wasn't a concern considering this is a parody novel and her brother isn't even human.
As someone who typically hates step siblings romance, that honestly wasn't a concern considering this is a parody novel and her brother isn't even human.
June 29, 2024
Short read, but fun. The puns and word usage were outstanding. I laughed out loud often. Vera is so talented that even a book about Red the Chill-Assist man was utterly enjoyable. This little cup is glad she read it 😏😂
July 16, 2024
These books actually crack me up. OH YEAH
August 3, 2024
I am..confused? I seriously need help at this point
August 10, 2024
I have fallen down a rabbit hole and I cannot get up
Read
August 16, 2024Here's to Taylor, for always convincing me to buddy-read the strangest books in the universe.
September 15, 2024
I died at little cup.
July 23, 2024
An absolute blast. This delivered everything and more than I expected from the set up. The entire thing had me cackling and having a blast while I read it.
August 10, 2024
Sadly a sentient jug of kool-aid isn't the worst I've read.
September 25, 2024
Vera Valentine is seriously the Shakespeare of our generation. I rate it OH YEAH/5
September 7, 2024
Yes, I am giving 4 stars to smut about the Kool Aid man. But hear me out!
This is about Jules and Red. Jules has moved back home temporarily as college is not working out. And she is back under the roof of her mom, step dad, and adult step brother Red who is also a sentient jug of Cherry Kool Aid. And they get trapped in a sauna, when Red confesses his romantic feelings for his step sister. And then Kool Aid sexy things happen.
Look, this novella was totally bonkers. But the steam was actually decent, the weird Kool Aid step brother made sense, and it ended in a Happy for Now. It was a fun time. No regrets. Vera Valentine kills it when it comes to bonkers sentient object smut. I am glad she has found her niche and is sharing it with all of us.
This is about Jules and Red. Jules has moved back home temporarily as college is not working out. And she is back under the roof of her mom, step dad, and adult step brother Red who is also a sentient jug of Cherry Kool Aid. And they get trapped in a sauna, when Red confesses his romantic feelings for his step sister. And then Kool Aid sexy things happen.
Look, this novella was totally bonkers. But the steam was actually decent, the weird Kool Aid step brother made sense, and it ended in a Happy for Now. It was a fun time. No regrets. Vera Valentine kills it when it comes to bonkers sentient object smut. I am glad she has found her niche and is sharing it with all of us.
July 15, 2024
Oh no not the red dye #40💦
Yes.... yes, i did infact read a Kool-Aid, Step Brother Romance.... and i don't even like step brother tropes.
But heres how it was.
It's short, sweet, and real smuttty.
Plot is there, which is amazing since it's only 60 pgs.
I give 3 ⭐️ plot rating, only bc of size. Honestly, i was impressed, though.
Spice i give 4 🌶 it was hot af.
Weird, but yes.
K!nk ill go with a 2, there is some and obv glass play😅😝
Tw, it's weird af but not dark. But for your mental health, please check the tw in the beginning
Yes.... yes, i did infact read a Kool-Aid, Step Brother Romance.... and i don't even like step brother tropes.
But heres how it was.
It's short, sweet, and real smuttty.
Plot is there, which is amazing since it's only 60 pgs.
I give 3 ⭐️ plot rating, only bc of size. Honestly, i was impressed, though.
Spice i give 4 🌶 it was hot af.
Weird, but yes.
K!nk ill go with a 2, there is some and obv glass play😅😝
Tw, it's weird af but not dark. But for your mental health, please check the tw in the beginning
Displaying 1 - 30 of 267 reviews