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Survival Lessons
Fifteen years ago, Alice Hoffman received a diagnosis that changed everything about the life she'd been living. Most significant, aside from the grueling physical ordeal she underwent, was the way it changed how she felt inside and what she thought she ought to be doing with her days. Now she has written the book that she needed to read then. In this honest, wise, and upbeat guide, Alice Hoffman provides a road map for the making of one's life into the very best it can be. As she says, "In many ways I wrote this book to remind myself of the beauty of life, something that's all too easy to overlook during the crisis of illness or loss. There were many times when I forgot about roses and starry nights. I forgot that our lives are made up of equal parts sorrow and joy, and that it's impossible to have one without the other. . . . I wrote to remind myself that in the darkest hour the roses still bloom, the stars still come out at night. And to remind myself that, despite everything that was happening to me, there were still some choices I could make.
96 pages, Hardcover
First published October 1, 2013
About the author
Alice Hoffman
119 books23.3k followersAlice Hoffman is the author of more than thirty works of fiction, including The World That We Knew; The Marriage of Opposites; The Red Garden; The Museum of Extraordinary Things; The Dovekeepers; Here on Earth, an Oprah’s Book Club selection; and the Practical Magic series, including Practical
Magic; Magic Lessons; The Rules of Magic, a selection of Reese’s Book Club; and The Book of Magic. She lives near Boston.
Magic; Magic Lessons; The Rules of Magic, a selection of Reese’s Book Club; and The Book of Magic. She lives near Boston.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 644 reviews
July 5, 2018
okay, bitches, i'm off to fight cancer again! thanks to everyone who has been kind to me, and i'm sorry i've been so distracted lately.
this is not the kind of book i would ordinarily read - on first glance, it seems like the kind of touchy-feely sentimental stuff i tend to avoid because i am a robot and all, but it was sent as part of a care package from the kind kind people of goodreads when i was going through my cancerish surgery over the summer, and GR-staffer suzanne said that alice munro told her this was the book she wished she had had when she was going through her own cancer battle.
so i gave it a shot, because i was so grateful and bewildered that the place i have lovingly come to think of as my second home actually cared back.
and while much of it is advice that i cannot or will not apply to my own life, there's something satisfyingly honest in reading how someone else dealt with their obstacles and remained chipper and willing to give back to fans who might be going through a similar struggle. although my own circumstances were much less severe than hoffman's (knock three month's worth of wood), the sentiment was still appreciated, in the way her experiences made her both vulnerable and strong.
so i am taking some wine-drenched moments on this lovely thanksgiving evening to say "thank you" to the goodreads employees who so thoughtfully reached out to me, and for all of you here who sent well-wishes during my crummiest moments and who every day make even the not-crummy times better. i love you all, my little booknerd buddies, and i embrace you with sloppy drunken sincerity and well-wishes times a billion.
may you never need to survive anything.
come to my blog!
this is not the kind of book i would ordinarily read - on first glance, it seems like the kind of touchy-feely sentimental stuff i tend to avoid because i am a robot and all, but it was sent as part of a care package from the kind kind people of goodreads when i was going through my cancerish surgery over the summer, and GR-staffer suzanne said that alice munro told her this was the book she wished she had had when she was going through her own cancer battle.
so i gave it a shot, because i was so grateful and bewildered that the place i have lovingly come to think of as my second home actually cared back.
and while much of it is advice that i cannot or will not apply to my own life, there's something satisfyingly honest in reading how someone else dealt with their obstacles and remained chipper and willing to give back to fans who might be going through a similar struggle. although my own circumstances were much less severe than hoffman's (knock three month's worth of wood), the sentiment was still appreciated, in the way her experiences made her both vulnerable and strong.
so i am taking some wine-drenched moments on this lovely thanksgiving evening to say "thank you" to the goodreads employees who so thoughtfully reached out to me, and for all of you here who sent well-wishes during my crummiest moments and who every day make even the not-crummy times better. i love you all, my little booknerd buddies, and i embrace you with sloppy drunken sincerity and well-wishes times a billion.
may you never need to survive anything.
come to my blog!
April 5, 2021
Years after her breast cancer diagnosis, beloved author Alice Hoffman started out this beautiful little book as a letter to herself, reflecting on some of the things she wished she had guidance on about how to survive that trauma, “to remind myself of the beauty of life.” Fortunately for us, she shares these thoughts, beautiful words of wisdom that are meaningful for all of us who may be in need of healing from illness or loss, for any of us really. When life feels uncontrollable, as it often does, she reminds us that there are choices we can make . At times it seems she offers common sense advice that I thought I already knew, but then I realized how much more meaningful it would be to actually be more mindful and do some of these things for myself. She chooses her heroes. Anne Frank, who had the “ability to see beauty in a cruel world”, Hoffman’s mother who had “the ability to enjoy herself” are two of her personal heroes. She tells us to “choose our friends wisely” and connect with young people for their openness and the way they “dream out loud” and older people for their stories. This is a short book, so I won’t give away all of the lovely things she reminds us of, so you can experience this yourself. I can’t help, though, mentioning my favorite “Choose to Dream” where she recounts returning to Venice her “dream destination”. Listening to this was a lovely way to spend less than an hour. I was a little disappointed that it wasn’t read by Hoffman, but the narrator does a wonderful job. I’m a huge Hoffman fan and I’ve enjoyed a number of her novels. She’s such a prolific writer and I’m so glad I have many more to read.
Thanks so much to Elyse for bringing this to my attention.
Thanks so much to Elyse for bringing this to my attention.
March 29, 2021
Audiobook....read by Alice Hoffman 57 minutes
I was uplifted by my 57 minutes of listening to Alice Hoffman....
I really - really loved it....then chatted with my local friend- Margie about it. ( Margie...grab a copy- I know you - know you’ll experience the treasure it is).
“Survival Lessons” is packed with gems. She wrote it 15 years after having survived breast cancer. During her cancer treatments she was looking for a guide book - a support book of sorts. She wanted to know how people survived trauma.
She wrote this book to remind herself of the beauty of life.
“Beauty is the thing that is so easy to overlook during times of trauma”.
I just loved feeling ‘soothed’ with Alice’s voice ( on the trail walking)....
Of course I intellectually already understood every word expressed in this little gem....but it simply felt nice to hear Alice speak them....wise words — reminders —of what’s important- what we can and cannot control. It’s an overall supportive book to all of us still breathing.
It’s true what Alice said: “When it comes to sorrow, no one is immune”.
Besides enjoying learning a little more about Alice’s childhood ....(being from a Russian Jewish family— means a ‘given’ that there is sadness to be felt)....but also reading in her family was valued.
Books for Alice - as a child- was where she went to escape some of that sadness in her family. Books were Alice’s life raft.
Her first childhood hero was Anne Frank...(the memory of Anne Frank’s optimism still inspires Alice in her own life as an adult).
Alice also said she probably would never have made it past age 12 had she not inhaled Ray Bradbury books.
I loved listening to Alice share about her mother and grandmother.
As a teenager, Alice was angry with choices her mother made. For example she would drop the housework in a second to run off to see a. Broadway play.
Alice ( and her grandmother)... together chatted about how irresponsible ‘mom’ was.....
BUT....
later when Alice was an adult....she found she CHERISHED those things about her mother that she thought she hated.
Alice’s mother HAD THE ABILITY TO FULLY ENJOY LIFE....
Alice finally learned the GREAT BENEFITS TO **ENJOY LIFE HERSELF**!
Sooo many gems for us, the readers to cherish. Much to contemplate....maybe even try out some of her advice....
Like....
Choose to enjoy OURSELVES MORE...
Choose to eat chocolate... eat whatever we want, anytime, at any place. Cook our favorite dinner eat our favorite desserts.
It was cute....
Alice provided a recipe by Julia child of how to cook the perfect hard-boiled egg. 🥚
Alice shared about her best friend who was dying of Parkinson’s disease. They sat in her garden in Palo Alto together having already said everything there was to say to each other. But her friend was brilliant and beautiful and kind.
How could I NOT FEEL THE LOVE?....
Other words of wisdom that Alice expanded on with examples...
Were:
...Choose your friends wisely
...Make time for old friends
...Choose how to spend your time
...Watch old movies, eat lots of brownies, play board games, make pizza with your friends, collect seashells, watch the snow fall, look out your window for an hour - doing nothing else but looking at trees- I don’t feel that’s how you’re wasting your time.
...choose to love our own aging...(maybe more fat, tired, sad, dragged out looking, .....but....look into our own eyes....our own smiles....
See our natural beauty. Don’t be so harsh with ourselves and don’t listen to other people who treated harshly..
...Choose to accept sorrow as a part of life.
...Choose to dream...
...Choose to do something new...[try some that we are afraid of - for fear of failing].... and so what if we fail.
...Listen to music...favorite oldies.... and remember who we were in love with during our youth while listening to an oldie but goodie song.
...Choose to tell our own story and to be fully ourselves
...Choose to forgive ...
Etc...etc....etc....
Talk to strangers, share,
Write in a journal >> all the people who have hurt us, and all the people who have helped us.
Love....LOVE...Love........ 💕❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🖤🤍🤎💕
The 57 minutes I spent with this lovely elegant slim book.....was time worth spent.
I was uplifted by my 57 minutes of listening to Alice Hoffman....
I really - really loved it....then chatted with my local friend- Margie about it. ( Margie...grab a copy- I know you - know you’ll experience the treasure it is).
“Survival Lessons” is packed with gems. She wrote it 15 years after having survived breast cancer. During her cancer treatments she was looking for a guide book - a support book of sorts. She wanted to know how people survived trauma.
She wrote this book to remind herself of the beauty of life.
“Beauty is the thing that is so easy to overlook during times of trauma”.
I just loved feeling ‘soothed’ with Alice’s voice ( on the trail walking)....
Of course I intellectually already understood every word expressed in this little gem....but it simply felt nice to hear Alice speak them....wise words — reminders —of what’s important- what we can and cannot control. It’s an overall supportive book to all of us still breathing.
It’s true what Alice said: “When it comes to sorrow, no one is immune”.
Besides enjoying learning a little more about Alice’s childhood ....(being from a Russian Jewish family— means a ‘given’ that there is sadness to be felt)....but also reading in her family was valued.
Books for Alice - as a child- was where she went to escape some of that sadness in her family. Books were Alice’s life raft.
Her first childhood hero was Anne Frank...(the memory of Anne Frank’s optimism still inspires Alice in her own life as an adult).
Alice also said she probably would never have made it past age 12 had she not inhaled Ray Bradbury books.
I loved listening to Alice share about her mother and grandmother.
As a teenager, Alice was angry with choices her mother made. For example she would drop the housework in a second to run off to see a. Broadway play.
Alice ( and her grandmother)... together chatted about how irresponsible ‘mom’ was.....
BUT....
later when Alice was an adult....she found she CHERISHED those things about her mother that she thought she hated.
Alice’s mother HAD THE ABILITY TO FULLY ENJOY LIFE....
Alice finally learned the GREAT BENEFITS TO **ENJOY LIFE HERSELF**!
Sooo many gems for us, the readers to cherish. Much to contemplate....maybe even try out some of her advice....
Like....
Choose to enjoy OURSELVES MORE...
Choose to eat chocolate... eat whatever we want, anytime, at any place. Cook our favorite dinner eat our favorite desserts.
It was cute....
Alice provided a recipe by Julia child of how to cook the perfect hard-boiled egg. 🥚
Alice shared about her best friend who was dying of Parkinson’s disease. They sat in her garden in Palo Alto together having already said everything there was to say to each other. But her friend was brilliant and beautiful and kind.
How could I NOT FEEL THE LOVE?....
Other words of wisdom that Alice expanded on with examples...
Were:
...Choose your friends wisely
...Make time for old friends
...Choose how to spend your time
...Watch old movies, eat lots of brownies, play board games, make pizza with your friends, collect seashells, watch the snow fall, look out your window for an hour - doing nothing else but looking at trees- I don’t feel that’s how you’re wasting your time.
...choose to love our own aging...(maybe more fat, tired, sad, dragged out looking, .....but....look into our own eyes....our own smiles....
See our natural beauty. Don’t be so harsh with ourselves and don’t listen to other people who treated harshly..
...Choose to accept sorrow as a part of life.
...Choose to dream...
...Choose to do something new...[try some that we are afraid of - for fear of failing].... and so what if we fail.
...Listen to music...favorite oldies.... and remember who we were in love with during our youth while listening to an oldie but goodie song.
...Choose to tell our own story and to be fully ourselves
...Choose to forgive ...
Etc...etc....etc....
Talk to strangers, share,
Write in a journal >> all the people who have hurt us, and all the people who have helped us.
Love....LOVE...Love........ 💕❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🖤🤍🤎💕
The 57 minutes I spent with this lovely elegant slim book.....was time worth spent.
April 24, 2022
“When it comes to sorrow, no one is immune.”
- Alice Hoffman, Survival Lessons
What does a writer do when she is unable to find a book that she needs to read in her time of sorrow? She writes her own.
In the preface to Survival Lessons (published in 2013), Alice Hoffman, an American novelist, revealed, “In many ways I wrote this book to remind myself of the beauty of life, something that’s all too easy to overlook during the crisis of illness or loss.” Hoffman found herself in a state of shock and disbelief when she was diagnosed with breast cancer.
I can only imagine how devastating and traumatic it must have been for her. I was in awe of her courage and determination to grab life by the horns. In this very short piece of non-fiction (barely 70 Kindle pages), Hoffman wrote about the choices we can make in spite of sorrow. The book is organized along what we can choose. Here are some of my favorite lines:
Choose to Enjoy Yourself
“Start by eating chocolate. In fact, if you can, eat whatever you want. Any time. Any place.”
Choose Your Friends
“Tell someone how much he means to you. Don’t hold back!”
Choose How You Spend Your Time
“In a novel, you’ll find yourself in a world of possibilities. You’ll find shelter there.”
Choose to Forgive
“Don’t hold grudges; it takes up too much energy... If you can forgive someone, I highly recommend that you do. It will be like losing twenty pounds. Maybe even two hundred and twenty pounds.”
This last choice was most impressive and moving:
Choose to Accept Sorrow
“We are all responsible for our actions and our reactions. We are responsible for how we respond to situations we cannot control. I could not run away from my circumstances, or control the path of my disease, but I can control what I did with my experience of that illness. I choose to be a fund-raiser for breast cancer. That was the right answer to my problem. As a matter of fact, I think it may be the rightest and best answer I’ve ever found.”
The outcome of this choice was the establishment of the Hoffman Breast Center at Mount Auburn Hospital in Cambridge, Massachusetts, to which she donated her advance of this book. Thank you, Alice Hoffman, for this gift and these precious words.
- Alice Hoffman, Survival Lessons
What does a writer do when she is unable to find a book that she needs to read in her time of sorrow? She writes her own.
In the preface to Survival Lessons (published in 2013), Alice Hoffman, an American novelist, revealed, “In many ways I wrote this book to remind myself of the beauty of life, something that’s all too easy to overlook during the crisis of illness or loss.” Hoffman found herself in a state of shock and disbelief when she was diagnosed with breast cancer.
I can only imagine how devastating and traumatic it must have been for her. I was in awe of her courage and determination to grab life by the horns. In this very short piece of non-fiction (barely 70 Kindle pages), Hoffman wrote about the choices we can make in spite of sorrow. The book is organized along what we can choose. Here are some of my favorite lines:
Choose to Enjoy Yourself
“Start by eating chocolate. In fact, if you can, eat whatever you want. Any time. Any place.”
Choose Your Friends
“Tell someone how much he means to you. Don’t hold back!”
Choose How You Spend Your Time
“In a novel, you’ll find yourself in a world of possibilities. You’ll find shelter there.”
Choose to Forgive
“Don’t hold grudges; it takes up too much energy... If you can forgive someone, I highly recommend that you do. It will be like losing twenty pounds. Maybe even two hundred and twenty pounds.”
This last choice was most impressive and moving:
Choose to Accept Sorrow
“We are all responsible for our actions and our reactions. We are responsible for how we respond to situations we cannot control. I could not run away from my circumstances, or control the path of my disease, but I can control what I did with my experience of that illness. I choose to be a fund-raiser for breast cancer. That was the right answer to my problem. As a matter of fact, I think it may be the rightest and best answer I’ve ever found.”
The outcome of this choice was the establishment of the Hoffman Breast Center at Mount Auburn Hospital in Cambridge, Massachusetts, to which she donated her advance of this book. Thank you, Alice Hoffman, for this gift and these precious words.
April 6, 2021
This is a book to read to remind one's self that no matter how dark things get, there is always a better way and a different way of looking at things. So this is more of a road map for those in physical or mental distress who cannot figure out which way to go.
My favorite part of this book was actually the prologue when Hoffman talks about her heroes, Anne Frank who always found something bright even in darkness and her own mother. It made this rather common sense book a little more special.
My favorite part of this book was actually the prologue when Hoffman talks about her heroes, Anne Frank who always found something bright even in darkness and her own mother. It made this rather common sense book a little more special.
April 6, 2021
After listening to the audiobook of Survival Lessons, narrated by Alice Hoffman, on Hoopla I was in awe of Alice Hoffman’s gift for writing, especially about this delicate, sensitive and personal subject. Alice Hoffman has a very unique and wonderful gift. When a diagnosis of breast cancer slapped her in the face she looked for a guide that might help her navigate this unchartered territory. Since she could not find one, Alice Hoffman wrote her own. She was able to gather her good thoughts, rely on positive memories and inspire and assist herself and others to cope and remain positive during this difficult time. Her motto throughout this audiobook was to make the most of everyday life situations and make positive choices. Being a breast cancer survivor myself, I wish I had had this book when I was diagnosed. Survival Lessons, although short, was full of uplifting, meaningful and positives ways to embrace what you are dealt and come out of it a stronger person. I highly recommend this book.
February 9, 2019
A powerful look at how to cope with a life altering condition (breast cancer) while still trying to live in the here and now; to be able to see the light when surrounded by shadowed questions is a lesson that Alice shares with the reader in a clam yet urgent way.
November 8, 2017
Hoffman wrote this slim (83 pages) volume 15 years after her own bout with breast cancer to encourage anyone going through a crisis. Each chapter title begins with the word “Choose” – a reminder that, even when you can’t choose your circumstances, you can choose your response. For instance, “Choose Whose Advice to Take” and “Choose to Enjoy Yourself.” This has been beautifully put together with blue-tinted watercolor-effect photographs and an overall yellow and blue theme (along with deckle edge pages – a personal favorite book trait). It’s a sweet little memoir with a self-help edge, and I think most people would appreciate being given a copy. The only element that felt a bit out of place was the five-page knitting pattern for a hat. Though very similar to Cathy Rentzenbrink’s A Manual for Heartache, this is that tiny bit better.
Favorite lines:
Favorite lines:
“Make a list of what all you have loved in this unfair and beautiful world.”
“When I couldn’t write about characters that didn’t have cancer and worried I might never get past this single experience, my oncologist told me that cancer didn’t have to be my entire novel. It was just a chapter.”
“Your sorrow will become smaller, like a star in the daylight that you can’t even see. It’s there, shining, but there is also a vast expanse of blue sky.”
May 8, 2024
Excellent
This book was amazingly uplifting, and so very insightful. Anyone who reads it, will definitely take something away from it!
This book was amazingly uplifting, and so very insightful. Anyone who reads it, will definitely take something away from it!
July 17, 2020
Such a beautiful little book :'(
October 26, 2013
Somebody, somewhere will no doubt get comfort out of this very slim book. I was not one of those people. Did you know when you're struck with a serious, life-threatening illness you should surround yourself with people who love you? Do the things you've always wanted to do? Buy a puppy - but make sure someone is around to walk it when you can't, and promise to care for it if you die? The book was filled with these gems. I don't doubt this work of non-fiction arose out of Hoffman's personal experiences overcoming cancer, but a lot of what she had to say came from a place of privilege and felt trite.
June 25, 2013
This is a tiny book. Like, you will finish it in a little over an hour. At first I thought, no one who isn’t already terribly famous would be able to get away with this at a publishing house. All the rest of us have to shoot for the 40,000 word minimum. But after reading the book, I was no longer miffed. There is purpose and effectiveness that would be impossible without brevity. Hoffman — one of my favorite fiction writers — survived breast cancer 15 years ago. This isn’t a breast cancer memoir, but rather a compilation of things Hoffman learned — about what is important in life, and how best to live it — through surviving cancer. With its small size and few pages, this book might on first glance seem to fit into the market for aphorisms and devotionals, those little gift books on the sale tables at Barnes and Noble, the books that end up on our mother’s and grandmother’s night stands. The ones filled with gag-worthy cliches that make you want to rip out the pages and shred them into itty bitty bits for presuming to reduce our pain into measurable portions that can be handily contained with truths too clever to be true. But no. No. Hoffman’s book is NOT one of these. You will read it and be surprised by the relief you feel. You will give it as gifts. These gifts will end up on night stands. And there will be many people who sleep just a little bit better because a writer of beautiful words has understood their suffering: that pain, to be reduced, cannot be dismissed. There are many self-help books out there that take hours and days to plod through for the small morsels we can take away and use. But in just an hour, you can read Survival Lessons and absorb every word, with no need to discard the tedious and superfluous. Advance Reader’s Copy provided by BEA (and signed by Hoffman herself, who indeed was, upon meeting, the lovely person I had believed her to be from her writing).
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November 15, 2020
This is a beautiful book to read for anyone who has cancer and anyone who has a loved one diagnosed with cancer or any potentially terminal illness. I would also recommend the book for anyone who needs to be reminded of the beauty of living each day.
December 3, 2019
4 stars
February 19, 2014
This slim volume can be read in an hour or less, but contains nuggets of wisdom for anyone who is coping with difficulties in their life. And who among us isn’t? Most of Hoffman’s musings and advice aren’t all that earth-shattering or things you’ve never known or thought of, but sometimes it’s nice to be reminded by someone who has such a lovely way with words. (An added bonus is a recipe for brownies and a pattern for a knitted hat.)
This would make a nice book to keep on your nightstand to re-read a snippet at a time and would make a thoughtful addition to a care package for a friend in need.
This would make a nice book to keep on your nightstand to re-read a snippet at a time and would make a thoughtful addition to a care package for a friend in need.
November 21, 2019
“I wrote this book to remind myself of the beauty of life, something that’s all too easy to overlook during the crisis of illness or loss. There were many times when I forgot about roses and starry nights. I forgot that our lives are made up of equal parts sorrow and joy, and that it is impossible to have one without the other. This is what makes us human. This is why our world is so precious. I wrote to remind myself that in the darkest hour the roses still bloom, the stars still come out at night. And to remind myself that, despite everything that was happening to me, there were still choices I could make.“
This is a sweet little book that would make an amazing gift for someone in your life who is newly diagnosed with disease. I would, however, bring up the caveat that given that Alice Hoffman wrote this years later after surviving breast cancer, she writes from the perspective of a survivor. I suppose in some ways I consider myself a survivor too. I’ve certainly lived many more years than ever expected to with my own life threatening and life limiting diseases but it’s worth pointing out while all such illnesses are traumatic and massively life altering, many- actually most- do not have cures so I still think this is a sweet and soothing read for absolutely anyone facing illness, don’t give it to someone with an incurable disease while they’re currently in the anger stage of grieving, perhaps.
I wish the book had been longer. It’s only 96 pages and a bunch of very short chapters with photographs as well as some fun little extras like a brownie recipe and instructions for knitting a hat. I’m not sure I gained anything from this one myself (besides a rad brownie recipe I hope to try soon!) but I’m a decade into this. I’d already long ago made many of the discoveries Hoffman shares here like the joy of music, how important heroes are (my GoodReads photo is me with mine- I highly recommend doing whatever it takes to meet your heroes if possible too! Meeting mine changed my life for the better.), enjoying yourself, holding tight to the friends who stay and letting go of those who are unable to be there for you.
Still, I highlighted a lot of beautiful passages in this book and it made me feel good when I was so needing some comfort and maybe someone who understood a little. I think this book has a special appeal to sick writers because there are so many gorgeous quotes about writing and reading too.
One of my favorites was this one:
“I’ve often wondered if I spent too much time inside of books. If perhaps I ended up getting lost in there. I feared that reading, and later writing, stopped me from living a full life in the real world. I still don’t know the answer to this, but I’m not sure I would have gotten past being twelve without Ray Bradbury, and I know that imagining the plot for my novel The River King during a lengthy bone scan helped me get through that test. The hospital faded and I was walking through a small town where I knew everyone. I slipped into the river, past the water lilies, past the muddy shore. Here was my life raft. A book.”
I’m hopefully on the genuine upswing from two of the toughest months of health drama. I’ve wound back around and unfortunately as hard as I tried, as much as I suffered I’m more or less back to my baseline when improving that baseline had been my hope. But I’m still here, a survivor in my own sense and one of the things that have been my own life raft through it all have been books, just as they were for Alice Hoffman. And I’m grateful to have read this little book and to realize how much my own journey has taught me. Which perhaps was something even more valuable to gain from the book than had the concepts held within been new to me. I think if and when I’m in the situation to pass this one along to someone who needs it I’d write an inscription saying something to that effect or telling my newly diagnosed friend that they too will gain a lot of wisdom from their journey. And maybe that’s the best thing any of us can hope for. Certainly not a justification for illness, trauma, and suffering but something that makes it a little easier to bear.
This is a sweet little book that would make an amazing gift for someone in your life who is newly diagnosed with disease. I would, however, bring up the caveat that given that Alice Hoffman wrote this years later after surviving breast cancer, she writes from the perspective of a survivor. I suppose in some ways I consider myself a survivor too. I’ve certainly lived many more years than ever expected to with my own life threatening and life limiting diseases but it’s worth pointing out while all such illnesses are traumatic and massively life altering, many- actually most- do not have cures so I still think this is a sweet and soothing read for absolutely anyone facing illness, don’t give it to someone with an incurable disease while they’re currently in the anger stage of grieving, perhaps.
I wish the book had been longer. It’s only 96 pages and a bunch of very short chapters with photographs as well as some fun little extras like a brownie recipe and instructions for knitting a hat. I’m not sure I gained anything from this one myself (besides a rad brownie recipe I hope to try soon!) but I’m a decade into this. I’d already long ago made many of the discoveries Hoffman shares here like the joy of music, how important heroes are (my GoodReads photo is me with mine- I highly recommend doing whatever it takes to meet your heroes if possible too! Meeting mine changed my life for the better.), enjoying yourself, holding tight to the friends who stay and letting go of those who are unable to be there for you.
Still, I highlighted a lot of beautiful passages in this book and it made me feel good when I was so needing some comfort and maybe someone who understood a little. I think this book has a special appeal to sick writers because there are so many gorgeous quotes about writing and reading too.
One of my favorites was this one:
“I’ve often wondered if I spent too much time inside of books. If perhaps I ended up getting lost in there. I feared that reading, and later writing, stopped me from living a full life in the real world. I still don’t know the answer to this, but I’m not sure I would have gotten past being twelve without Ray Bradbury, and I know that imagining the plot for my novel The River King during a lengthy bone scan helped me get through that test. The hospital faded and I was walking through a small town where I knew everyone. I slipped into the river, past the water lilies, past the muddy shore. Here was my life raft. A book.”
I’m hopefully on the genuine upswing from two of the toughest months of health drama. I’ve wound back around and unfortunately as hard as I tried, as much as I suffered I’m more or less back to my baseline when improving that baseline had been my hope. But I’m still here, a survivor in my own sense and one of the things that have been my own life raft through it all have been books, just as they were for Alice Hoffman. And I’m grateful to have read this little book and to realize how much my own journey has taught me. Which perhaps was something even more valuable to gain from the book than had the concepts held within been new to me. I think if and when I’m in the situation to pass this one along to someone who needs it I’d write an inscription saying something to that effect or telling my newly diagnosed friend that they too will gain a lot of wisdom from their journey. And maybe that’s the best thing any of us can hope for. Certainly not a justification for illness, trauma, and suffering but something that makes it a little easier to bear.
November 22, 2013
This book was short, but mighty. It was beautifully written, as all Alice Hoffman's books are, and it touched me so deeply that it made me cry.
Alice Hoffman's writing is like reading poetry. She uses metaphor and simile just enough to give more weight and beauty to her words. I have enjoyed numerous works of Hoffman's fiction, so when I had the opportunity to read this book, I was delighted. This book was a little under 100 pages. Don't let the short length scare you away, the sparse pages are brimming with wisdom.
This has been a tough year for my family and, though none of us has had the dreaded diagnosis of breast cancer, we have had some very difficult times. I was able to relate to many things Hoffman said in this book and found such inspiration and joy in the pages, that I shared the experience with friends. This is a magical book that lit the flame of hope in my heart.
Alice Hoffman's writing is like reading poetry. She uses metaphor and simile just enough to give more weight and beauty to her words. I have enjoyed numerous works of Hoffman's fiction, so when I had the opportunity to read this book, I was delighted. This book was a little under 100 pages. Don't let the short length scare you away, the sparse pages are brimming with wisdom.
This has been a tough year for my family and, though none of us has had the dreaded diagnosis of breast cancer, we have had some very difficult times. I was able to relate to many things Hoffman said in this book and found such inspiration and joy in the pages, that I shared the experience with friends. This is a magical book that lit the flame of hope in my heart.
November 16, 2017
A short, brisk, personable read. Memoir/self development. Could have been cliche but instead was wise and engaging. I’ll return to this again.
October 22, 2013
Alice could write a note and leave it on my bench telling me she was popping out for coffee - and I know it would be delightful. This is 83 pages of grace, as Alice reflects on the things she learned while going through cancer treatment. It's like a tiny pocket guide to remind you of the things in life that are worth living for. And how living can be done so beautifully... with a glitter pen and a note book. A great brownie recipe or a faithful puppy. The simplicity alone made this little gem extraordinary to me.
I just know that if I were to write a book, advising my friends of ways to survive the toughest of days, I would tell them to read Alice Hoffman. Her books, her letters, blogs, or the notes she might leave on a bench....whatever you were lucky enough to get your hands on. Because each one holds something pure and magical that simply fills your heart with inexplicable joy.
I am so immensely grateful every time I hold a Hoffman in my hand - and I cannot thank her enough for surviving. For continuing to provide me the experience of pleasure I feel - as my breath is taken away by a single sentence. Or my heart filled to bursting with a gentle image only Alice Hoffman can paint - as my eyes skim the words that she seems to write directly to my heart.
Simple as that.
I just know that if I were to write a book, advising my friends of ways to survive the toughest of days, I would tell them to read Alice Hoffman. Her books, her letters, blogs, or the notes she might leave on a bench....whatever you were lucky enough to get your hands on. Because each one holds something pure and magical that simply fills your heart with inexplicable joy.
I am so immensely grateful every time I hold a Hoffman in my hand - and I cannot thank her enough for surviving. For continuing to provide me the experience of pleasure I feel - as my breath is taken away by a single sentence. Or my heart filled to bursting with a gentle image only Alice Hoffman can paint - as my eyes skim the words that she seems to write directly to my heart.
Simple as that.
May 1, 2015
I’m not going to lie, I picked up Alice Hoffman’s new book, "Survival Lessons," with a mixture of hope and trepidation. Hope that her exploration of her breast cancer journey would resonate with me in the wake of my own recent breast cancer experience. Hope that she would put into words some of my own feelings, my fears, and I might feel known. Trepidation, or maybe flat-out fear, that the book would come to a bad end, or that I would somehow not be able to connect and would end up feeling more alone in my experience, rather than part of a community. The first thing I did was look for the author photo and was happy to see a robust and vibrant woman smiling back at me.
Right away in the preface I felt connected to Hoffman as she describes, upon finding the lump in her breast, feeling that "these things didn’t happen to me." She goes on to say, "I was not someone who got cancer. In fact, I was the person who sat by bedsides, accompanied friends to doctor’s appointments." My reaction to my diagnosis was similar. Even with the incredible rates of breast cancer in the U.S., it is hard to believe it when it happens to you. Hoffman goes on to say, "I forgot that our lives are made up of equal parts sorrow and joy, at that it is impossible to have one without the other. This is what makes us human."
According to the flap copy, "Survival Lessons" "provides a road map to reclaim your life from this day forward." Each short chapter offers an edict on how to live. Hoffman tells us to choose our friends, choose our heroes, to accept sorrow and to claim our past, which of course are all wonderful things to do in order to live a full life no matter what your struggle. In the chapter about friends, Hoffman talks about the ways in which people will surprise you and some heartbreakingly disappoint you. Some friends, she says, won’t be able to be by your side.
"These people have their own history and traumas; they may not be able to deal with yours. They belong to the before." These words were a solace to me, as I did have important people in my life fall away. Hoffman talks about the gift of the people in the "after." "The ones who aren’t afraid of sorrow, who know we can’t avoid it. The best we can do is face it together."
A book like this, a self-help-meditation-survivorship-guide, is a curious thing. It is an act of generosity by the writer, to offer a hand through a dark time, (and in this case, to donate all the proceeds to the Hoffman Breast Center at Mt. Auburn Hospital). It is also a responsibility. People come to the book seeking solace and hence, the potential to miss the mark is weightier.
Where I felt the book failed me was in its very light touch. Hoffman's book, written 15 years post-breast cancer treatment, may be just too far removed to remember the gritty parts. I wanted a book that talked about waking up in the dark and re-remembering that you’ve been diagnosed with breast cancer. I wanted a book that stared in the face of the drive to the hospital on the morning of your surgery, a book that did not look away from sutures and drains, and the biggest needles you’ve ever seen. A book that talked about the way you lose touch with time and your brain when you’re on post-operative pain medication. A book that dedicated space to the patients who spend their time in the chemotherapy infusion room completely alone. I wanted more ‘brave on the page,’ more truth and less shimmer. I do also recognize, that in a fragile state, for example facing a recent diagnosis, shimmer is all you can take.
In the final chapter, Choose Love, Hoffman fears she will never get past this single experience. An acclaimed novelist, Hoffman fears that every character she writes henceforth will have cancer. Her oncologist assured her that "eventually it wouldn’t be the main character who had cancer, it would be the grandmother, then the best friend, then the distant cousin, the neighbor and finally the stranger down the block. Your sorrow will become smaller, like a star in the daylight you can’t even see. It’s there, shining, but there is also a vast expanse of blue sky." Those are the words we all want to hear about our particular sorrows.
"Survival Lessons" is a beautiful object, slender and small, with lovely images, a brownie recipe and directions to knit a hat. It would be a wonderful thing to tuck into a basket along with a tureen of soup, a candle, a perfect rock, and list of movie recommendations for a friend going through treatment, or struggling through any life trauma.
Right away in the preface I felt connected to Hoffman as she describes, upon finding the lump in her breast, feeling that "these things didn’t happen to me." She goes on to say, "I was not someone who got cancer. In fact, I was the person who sat by bedsides, accompanied friends to doctor’s appointments." My reaction to my diagnosis was similar. Even with the incredible rates of breast cancer in the U.S., it is hard to believe it when it happens to you. Hoffman goes on to say, "I forgot that our lives are made up of equal parts sorrow and joy, at that it is impossible to have one without the other. This is what makes us human."
According to the flap copy, "Survival Lessons" "provides a road map to reclaim your life from this day forward." Each short chapter offers an edict on how to live. Hoffman tells us to choose our friends, choose our heroes, to accept sorrow and to claim our past, which of course are all wonderful things to do in order to live a full life no matter what your struggle. In the chapter about friends, Hoffman talks about the ways in which people will surprise you and some heartbreakingly disappoint you. Some friends, she says, won’t be able to be by your side.
"These people have their own history and traumas; they may not be able to deal with yours. They belong to the before." These words were a solace to me, as I did have important people in my life fall away. Hoffman talks about the gift of the people in the "after." "The ones who aren’t afraid of sorrow, who know we can’t avoid it. The best we can do is face it together."
A book like this, a self-help-meditation-survivorship-guide, is a curious thing. It is an act of generosity by the writer, to offer a hand through a dark time, (and in this case, to donate all the proceeds to the Hoffman Breast Center at Mt. Auburn Hospital). It is also a responsibility. People come to the book seeking solace and hence, the potential to miss the mark is weightier.
Where I felt the book failed me was in its very light touch. Hoffman's book, written 15 years post-breast cancer treatment, may be just too far removed to remember the gritty parts. I wanted a book that talked about waking up in the dark and re-remembering that you’ve been diagnosed with breast cancer. I wanted a book that stared in the face of the drive to the hospital on the morning of your surgery, a book that did not look away from sutures and drains, and the biggest needles you’ve ever seen. A book that talked about the way you lose touch with time and your brain when you’re on post-operative pain medication. A book that dedicated space to the patients who spend their time in the chemotherapy infusion room completely alone. I wanted more ‘brave on the page,’ more truth and less shimmer. I do also recognize, that in a fragile state, for example facing a recent diagnosis, shimmer is all you can take.
In the final chapter, Choose Love, Hoffman fears she will never get past this single experience. An acclaimed novelist, Hoffman fears that every character she writes henceforth will have cancer. Her oncologist assured her that "eventually it wouldn’t be the main character who had cancer, it would be the grandmother, then the best friend, then the distant cousin, the neighbor and finally the stranger down the block. Your sorrow will become smaller, like a star in the daylight you can’t even see. It’s there, shining, but there is also a vast expanse of blue sky." Those are the words we all want to hear about our particular sorrows.
"Survival Lessons" is a beautiful object, slender and small, with lovely images, a brownie recipe and directions to knit a hat. It would be a wonderful thing to tuck into a basket along with a tureen of soup, a candle, a perfect rock, and list of movie recommendations for a friend going through treatment, or struggling through any life trauma.
June 2, 2024
[2.5] As a reader who generally likes self-help books that focus on positive thinking and overcoming obstacles, I was surprised when I finished this lean volume thinking, "Now that's a couple hours I'll never get back." Please don't misinterpret my comments as being insensitive to Hoffman's health challenges. I have great respect and admiration for the author. But "Survival Lessons" didn't present any unique concepts for weathering life's devastating twists. When I read a self-help book, I make it a point to write down some highlights that I want to remember. Sadly, I didn't take a single note for the book. Still, it's a well-written narrative. This factor figures into my overall rating.
July 9, 2017
Can we give more then 5 stars? This audiobook will be something that I will listen to over and over again. The words, the message is nourishment for the survivor in us all. A fabulous message!
May 9, 2022
Beautiful, simple, inspirational.
April 5, 2021
Wat een lief boekje, en wat een lief cadeau.
Elke dag een een hoofdstuk lezen en dan dat laten bezinken een dag lang, dat zou de beste manier zijn geweest om dit boekje te lezen. In plaats daarvan las ik het in een uur uit.
Nu zou ik het dus op die eerste manier moeten herlezen.
Soms bespreekt ze open deuren, maar het is ook wel eens lekker om gewoon hele banale adviesjes weer tot je te nemen. Dank je wel sweetness!
Elke dag een een hoofdstuk lezen en dan dat laten bezinken een dag lang, dat zou de beste manier zijn geweest om dit boekje te lezen. In plaats daarvan las ik het in een uur uit.
Nu zou ik het dus op die eerste manier moeten herlezen.
Soms bespreekt ze open deuren, maar het is ook wel eens lekker om gewoon hele banale adviesjes weer tot je te nemen. Dank je wel sweetness!
November 20, 2017
There are many things in these short chapters that we all need to hear periodically, even if we aren't dealing with cancer.. Like don't worry about how you look because no one looks great all the time and everyone looks older as they age. And do things you enjoy everyday even if they seem like a waste of time or others don't see the point. We each only have one life to live and it's yours. These pieces of advice sound trite, like a Hallmark card we've all read enough times. But Hoffman wrote this to herself as she was going through chemotherapy for breast cancer to remind herself that life is still worth living. These are reminders each of us needs at one time or another as life gets tough. I don't need advice like this everyday or when I've just won an award or a bonus. I need it when someone I love has hurt me or I have hurt them, or when I am in despair over whatever bad event is weighing me down and life sucks. She reminds us that life does suck sometimes but the good things and people in our lives are still there if we let them be.
July 7, 2013
Survival Lessons by Alice Hoffman is a slim, light volume packed with valuable insight on how to survive the worst days of your life. A cancer survivor of 15 years, Hoffman shares her wisdom and reminds the reader to appreciate life's beauty that remains and surrounds us. Down-to-earth, simple & doable advice appears on every page. " You can't run away by ignoring the truth. Truth follows you; it comes in through open windows, and drifts under the door." Those who have suffered from a life altering illness will find this little guidebook helpful, as well as those who wonder how best to help someone going through cancer treatment.
How to help? Hoffman advises that a listening ear, a hug, a freshly baked pie, are just right. And, all you need to say, is that they are loved. " It's never too late to know that love is all you need. " Highly recommended.
How to help? Hoffman advises that a listening ear, a hug, a freshly baked pie, are just right. And, all you need to say, is that they are loved. " It's never too late to know that love is all you need. " Highly recommended.
December 7, 2013
This is a short book - less than 100 pages, one that you can easily finish in an hour. But read it slowly, because it's packed with some gems that will help you get through difficult times. Although many of the common complaints have been that the advice is this book is too trite, I find that when things look their bleakest, it's best to fall back on simple strategies and common sense. Surround yourself with people you enjoy, do things you love, and relish the natural beauty of our world. This book was direct, touching and honest and made me cry in a few places. Great gift for a friend who might need comfort.
'Life is beautiful, just very unfair.'
'Life is beautiful, just very unfair.'
October 27, 2013
I read this in under an hour and now I want to run out and buy 10 copies to have on hand for when friends need this little book of wisdom.
I think Alice Hoffman would be a wonderful friend.
I think Alice Hoffman would be a wonderful friend.
October 27, 2014
I find myself wanting to tell friends, family and complete strangers to read this quick but pretty powerful book. Very uplifting
August 9, 2016
This little blue and white treasure of a book was filled with so much joy, love and sadness that I nearly cried my way through all eighty-three pages of it...loved it!
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