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True Refuge: Finding Peace and Freedom in Your Own Awakened Heart
How do you cope when facing life-threatening illness, family conflict, faltering relationships, old trauma, obsessive thinking, overwhelming emotion, or inevitable loss? If you’re like most people, chances are you react with fear and confusion, falling back on timeworn anger, self-judgment, and addictive behaviors. Though these old, conditioned attempts to control our life may offer fleeting relief, ultimately they leave us feeling isolated and mired in pain.
There is another way. Beneath the turbulence of our thoughts and emotions exists a profound stillness, a silent awareness capable of limitless love. Tara Brach, author of the award-winning Radical Acceptance, calls this awareness our true refuge, because it is available to every one of us, at any moment, no exceptions. In this book, Brach offers a practical guide to finding our inner sanctuary of peace and wisdom in the midst of difficulty.
Based on a fresh interpretation of the three classic Buddhist gateways to freedom—truth, love, and awareness— True Refuge shows us the way not just to heal our suffering, but also to cultivate our capacity for genuine happiness. Through spiritual teachings, guided meditations, and inspirational stories of people who discovered loving presence during times of great struggle, Brach invites us to connect more deeply with our own inner life, one another, and the world around us.
True Refuge is essential reading for anyone encountering hardship or crisis, anyone dedicated to a path of spiritual awakening. The book reminds us of our own innate intelligence and goodness, making possible an enduring trust in ourselves and our lives. We realize that what we seek is within us, and regardless of circumstances, “there is always a way to take refuge in a healing and liberating presence.”
Praise for True Refuge
“Drawing on the latest findings in neuroscience as well as ten more years of personal experience on the path of awakening, Tara Brach’s superb second book brings readers ever more deeply in touch with our true nature. This book is a precious gift, filled with insight, shared from heart to heart.” —Thich Nhat Hanh
“ True Refuge is a magnificent work of heart. For anyone interested in developing a deeper understanding of the mind and how to improve the quality of their life, this book offers unique insights and easily learned practices that literally can transform your life’s path. Read, explore, and enjoy!” —Daniel J. Siegel, M.D., author of No-Drama Discipline
“This is a special book, lovely, loving, wise, and helpful. It is like having a sage and caring friend sit with you, offering comfort, insight, and guidance for your own true journey home.” —Jack Kornfield, author of The Wise Heart
“A healing and helpful meditation . . . a gracefully written spiritual gem on awareness, refuge, and presence.” —Spirituality & Practice
“[A] richly detailed, hopeful book . . . This accomplished example of spiritual self-help offers a gentle path for change in the face of suffering.” — Publishers Weekly
“This book is an undertaking and one that can change your life if you embrace it. It is heartfelt and practical . . . full of grit, honesty, and clarity.” —Beliefnet
There is another way. Beneath the turbulence of our thoughts and emotions exists a profound stillness, a silent awareness capable of limitless love. Tara Brach, author of the award-winning Radical Acceptance, calls this awareness our true refuge, because it is available to every one of us, at any moment, no exceptions. In this book, Brach offers a practical guide to finding our inner sanctuary of peace and wisdom in the midst of difficulty.
Based on a fresh interpretation of the three classic Buddhist gateways to freedom—truth, love, and awareness— True Refuge shows us the way not just to heal our suffering, but also to cultivate our capacity for genuine happiness. Through spiritual teachings, guided meditations, and inspirational stories of people who discovered loving presence during times of great struggle, Brach invites us to connect more deeply with our own inner life, one another, and the world around us.
True Refuge is essential reading for anyone encountering hardship or crisis, anyone dedicated to a path of spiritual awakening. The book reminds us of our own innate intelligence and goodness, making possible an enduring trust in ourselves and our lives. We realize that what we seek is within us, and regardless of circumstances, “there is always a way to take refuge in a healing and liberating presence.”
Praise for True Refuge
“Drawing on the latest findings in neuroscience as well as ten more years of personal experience on the path of awakening, Tara Brach’s superb second book brings readers ever more deeply in touch with our true nature. This book is a precious gift, filled with insight, shared from heart to heart.” —Thich Nhat Hanh
“ True Refuge is a magnificent work of heart. For anyone interested in developing a deeper understanding of the mind and how to improve the quality of their life, this book offers unique insights and easily learned practices that literally can transform your life’s path. Read, explore, and enjoy!” —Daniel J. Siegel, M.D., author of No-Drama Discipline
“This is a special book, lovely, loving, wise, and helpful. It is like having a sage and caring friend sit with you, offering comfort, insight, and guidance for your own true journey home.” —Jack Kornfield, author of The Wise Heart
“A healing and helpful meditation . . . a gracefully written spiritual gem on awareness, refuge, and presence.” —Spirituality & Practice
“[A] richly detailed, hopeful book . . . This accomplished example of spiritual self-help offers a gentle path for change in the face of suffering.” — Publishers Weekly
“This book is an undertaking and one that can change your life if you embrace it. It is heartfelt and practical . . . full of grit, honesty, and clarity.” —Beliefnet
320 pages, Hardcover
First published February 1, 2012
About the author
Tara Brach
35 books1,842 followersTara Brach is a leading western teacher of Buddhist meditation, emotional healing and spiritual awakening. She has practiced and taught meditation for over 40 years, with an emphasis on vipassana (mindfulness or insight) meditation. Tara is the senior teacher and founder of the Insight Meditation Community of Washington. A clinical psychologist, Tara is the author of Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life With the Heart of a Buddha, True Refuge: Finding Peace & Freedom in Your Own Awakened Heart and Radical Compassion: Learning to Love Yourself and Your World with the Practice of R.A.I.N. (Viking, Dec. 31, 2019).
Tara is nationally known for her skill in weaving western psychological wisdom with a range of meditative practices. Her approach emphasizes compassion for oneself and others, mindful presence and the direct realization and embodiment of natural awareness.
Tara is nationally known for her skill in weaving western psychological wisdom with a range of meditative practices. Her approach emphasizes compassion for oneself and others, mindful presence and the direct realization and embodiment of natural awareness.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 183 reviews
March 18, 2013
I do not know how to review a book without being personal; reading, to me, is insanely personal. Tara Brach begins her book with the revelation that she has spent the past 20 years of her life trying to figure out the source of her chronic, physical pain, only to find out that the condition will be with her the rest of her life. While it did not take me 20 years, I did spend the last decade of my life knowing something was physically wrong with me and desperately trying to find doctors who would listen to me and be able to help (a combination most rare in my experience). And, like Ms Brach, my search resulted in a diagnosis of something that I will spend my life dealing with and being effected by. Truly, those first few pages of True Refuge strongly resonated with me. I understood her writings of longing to find something to take refugee within. Medical problems have a way of being constantly present, always impacting your life, what you can and cannot do. By the time I read this book, I was longing for something to bring comfort, longing for moments of peace, longing to accept what has been placed before me. Without being over-dramatic, I was able to find that within these pages. As with her other book, Tara Brach includes guided meditations at the end of each chapter. If done sincerely, with openness for what unfolds, these guided meditations really did provide me with moments of solace. For that precious gift, this book deserves more stars than I can give.
January 22, 2013
Reading Tara Brach's new book, True Refuge, is like sitting by a fireplace, listening and talking with a best friend. She writes calmly, intimately, from the inside out. Tara is able to describe the human predicament, our vulnerabilities and foibles, our fears and aspirations, with a respect and accuracy that emboldens us to acknowledge what’s true, and empowers us to begin the reflective work of creating a happier, richer life.
And, she has walked the walk, as you can hear in this video. I am so glad she has taken a bigger step into the public eye. Although one may not imagine it from watching her talks on you tube, or by visiting the webpage of the Insight Meditation Community of Washington DC, or by seeing how humble and personable she is, but Tara has become one of the great Buddhist teachers alive today. I highly recommend 'True Refuge' to…well, anyone, Buddhist or not. It’s a treasure, and will grow only more valuable as we age.
And, she has walked the walk, as you can hear in this video. I am so glad she has taken a bigger step into the public eye. Although one may not imagine it from watching her talks on you tube, or by visiting the webpage of the Insight Meditation Community of Washington DC, or by seeing how humble and personable she is, but Tara has become one of the great Buddhist teachers alive today. I highly recommend 'True Refuge' to…well, anyone, Buddhist or not. It’s a treasure, and will grow only more valuable as we age.
March 16, 2013
The second book by one of the foremost teachers of Buddhist meditation and thought in the West. Tara Brach is without peer in her ability to synthesize the ancient teachings of the Buddha with modern psychology. The clarity and compassion with which she shares her wisdom makes her writing accessible to all, including those with no prior knowledge of Buddhist teachings. The book is a must-read for anyone on a spiritual path. Highly recommended.
March 10, 2019
Although I loved Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life With the Heart of a Buddha even more, this book was still a 5-star read for me. The meditations are very helpful--really powerful and as in the case of of the first book I read her sharing of personal experience is both touching and encouraging. It also helps ground the practice and helped me to understand better what was happening during my own meditation.
June 27, 2017
Similar to the wisdom of Pema Chodron, one can find a soothing and encouraging friend in Tara Brach. When the going gets tough, when the breath becomes shallow, its best to take five and listen to what they are saying.. In this particular book, there are meditations that help you persevere and lead you to find your inner strenght. These mental exercises are less fun than grabbing a chocolate cake or a margharita but have zero calories and more refreshing in the long run :)
January 19, 2023
So sorry to have this book come to an end! What a wonderful and healing experience to read and work through some of the issues that have been a struggle for me. It also helped to deepen my meditation practice and to open my heart to a tenderness and acceptance to self and to others that brought a lot of healing for me. I highly recommend it.
June 3, 2018
An essential read, I'm sure I will refer to it often. I'm new to meditation and mindfulness and found this book very instructional in looking within for refuge.
Loving life no matter what, finding refuge within our own hearts and minds--right here, right now, moment to moment.
I appreciate the realistic and gentle tone of the book, as it also details how to deal with difficult emotions using RAIN. Compulsive thinking--with no resolution, going nowhere, in an endless loop, is also discussed.
The book includes many stories of people using the included techniques. I was disappointed to notice an annoying and frustrating, yet common practice in American speech and writing; noting a person's race when it has no relevance to the story. This was only done when the person was African-American or a person or color.
Many stories were told in which the race of the subject was not identified. Why could this not be the case for everyone?
Mentioning race only perpetuates "not like us" which the world needs less of now.
Loving life no matter what, finding refuge within our own hearts and minds--right here, right now, moment to moment.
I appreciate the realistic and gentle tone of the book, as it also details how to deal with difficult emotions using RAIN. Compulsive thinking--with no resolution, going nowhere, in an endless loop, is also discussed.
The book includes many stories of people using the included techniques. I was disappointed to notice an annoying and frustrating, yet common practice in American speech and writing; noting a person's race when it has no relevance to the story. This was only done when the person was African-American or a person or color.
Many stories were told in which the race of the subject was not identified. Why could this not be the case for everyone?
Mentioning race only perpetuates "not like us" which the world needs less of now.
February 8, 2015
Welcome this sense of self that Tara Brach is able to touch with us. One of the wonderful things about Tara Brach is her ability to know us through knowing herself, and what she's able to give to us in her advice and examples is how we all connect. There is light within if we open to it. But this is not a "spiritual" book in the sense of being vague or lofty, but a very "practical" book that is based in meditation practice and in being straight with ourselves. What I sense most is her welcoming us to be in touch with ourselves and accept and trust who we are. Unlike our Facebook self, this is the true self that grows and heals with our touching and knowing it. She is a fine writer and guide.
June 11, 2019
I really want to talk with Tara Brach about diet culture and body liberation. I think she’s missing some information in the way she speaks about people in bigger bodies.
April 11, 2020
2019.01.14–2019.01.21
Contents
Brach T (2013) (12:01) True Refuge - Finding Peace and Freedom in Your Own Awakened Heart
Prologue: “Loving Life No Matter What”
Part I: Our Search for Refuge
01. Winds of Homecoming
• Our Cry for Help
• Coming Home to Loving Presence
• Learning to Trust the Waves
• Natural Presence: Wakeful, Open, and Tender
• Coming Back to Presence
• Guided Meditation: A Pause for Presence
02. Leaving Home: The Trance of Small Self
• Natural Presence: Wakeful, Open, and Tender
• The Perfection Project Collapses
• Space-Suit Self Is Small Self
• Awakening from Trance
• Trance and Awakening Are Both Natural
• Guided Meditation: Lovingkindness: Being Kind to Yourself
03. Meditation: The Path to Presence
• Training Your Mind
• • Remembering What Matters
• • Cultivating a Wise Attitude
• • Creating Time and Space to Practice
• • Sustaining Your Practice
• Off the Cushion: Meditation Training and Daily Life
• Trusting Your Heart and Awareness
• Guided Meditation: Coming Back
• Guided Meditation: Being Here
04. Three Gateways to Refuge
• The Gateway of Truth
• • Meditation: Awakening to Truth
• • Ethics: Living Aligned with Truth
• • Teachings on Truth: Accepting What Is Real
• The Gateway of Love
• The Gateway of Awareness
• Start Where You Are
• Guided Reflection: Remembering the Most Important Thing
Part II: The Gateway of Truth
05. RAIN: Cultivating Mindfulness in Difficult Times
• Recognize What Is Happening
• Allow Life to Be Just as It Is
• Investigate with Kindness
• Non-identification: Rest in Natural Awareness
• Applying RAIN to Blame
• Guidelines for Practicing with RAIN
• • Give Yourself the Support of a Regular Meditation Practice
• • Cultivate Flexibility
• • Practice with the “Small Stuff”
• • Seek Help
• • Let Your Senses Be a Gateway to Presence
• • Be Mindful of Doubt
• • Be Patient
• • Be Sincere
• Guided Reflection: Bringing RAIN to Difficulty
• • R: Recognize What Is Happening
• • A: Allow Life to Be Just as It Is
• • I: Investigate with an Intimate Attention
• • N: Non-identification: Rest in Natural Awareness
• Guided Reflection: A Light RAIN: Practicing “On the Spot”
06. Awakening to the Life of the Body
• Our Chain of Reactivity
• Touching the Ground
• Entering the Body
• If It Feels Like Too Much
• Recognizing Unlived Life
• Coming Alive Through the Body
• Planting Ourselves in the Universe
• Guided Reflection: Bringing RAIN to Pain
• Guided Reflection: The Buddha’s Smile
07. Possessed by the Mind: The Prison of Obsessive Thinking
• “Lost in Thought”
• Compulsive Thinking Is a False Refuge
• Strangled by Obsession
• In the Grip of Emotion
• Bringing RAIN to Obsessive Thinking
• Real but Not True
• Guided Reflection: My Top-Ten Hits
• Guided Reflection: Bringing RAIN to Obsession
08. Investigating Core Beliefs
• Suffering: The Call to Investigate Beliefs
• The Portal of Addiction
• Why Core Beliefs Are So Powerful
• In the Grip of Fear-Beliefs
• Our Beliefs Become Our Destiny—Unless We See Them
• Into the Black Hole
• The Power of Inquiry
• • “What am I believing?”
• • “Is this really true?”
• • “What is it like to live with this belief?”
• • “What stops me from letting go of this belief?”
• • “What would my life be like without this belief?”
• • “Who (or what) would I be if I no longer lived with this belief?”
• Living Beyond Beliefs
• Refuge in Truth
• Guided Reflection: Beliefs Inventory
• Guided Reflection: Catching Beliefs on the Fly
Part III: The Gateway of Love
09. Heart Medicine for Traumatic Fear
• The Legacy of Trauma
• Understanding Trauma
• Taking Refuge in Love
• The Need for New Resources
• Cultivating an Inner Refuge
• “I’m Trusting My Soul”
• Fierce Grace: Becoming Who We Are
• Guided Meditation: Lovingkindness: Receiving Love
• Guided Meditation: Tonglen: A Healing Presence with Fear
10. Self-Compassion: Releasing the Second Arrow
• Addicted to Self-Blame
• “It’s not your fault … really.”
• Releasing the Second Arrow
• Seeing Beyond Our Faults
• A Parent’s Heart
• When We’ve Caused Harm
• The Urge to Make Amends
• Guided Reflection: Self-Forgiveness Scan
• Guided Reflection: Ending the War with Yourself
11. The Courage to Forgive
• Which Wolf Will You Feed?
• Understanding Forgiveness
• RAIN with Anger
• Widening Circles of Compassion
• How Would a Buddha Respond?
• Forgiveness Is Not Passivity
• A Shattered Heart
• The Freedom of a Forgiving Heart
• Guided Meditation: A Forgiving Heart Toward Others
• • Asking for Forgiveness
• • Forgiving Ourselves
• • Forgiving Others
12. Holding Hands: Living Compassion
• Creating Separation: Self and Other
• Seeing Past the Mask
• The “Other” Is Part of Us
• Compassion Can be Cultivated
• Breathing In: “Ear of the Heart”
• Speaking and Receiving Difficult Truths
• Breathing Out: Offering Our Care
• Offering Blessings
• Guided Meditation: Tonglen: Awakening the Heart of Compassion
• Guided Meditation: Lovingkindness: Seeing Past the Mask
13. Losing What We Love: The Pain of Separation
• The Community of Loss
• Defending Against Loss
• The Armor of Blame
• The Second Arrow: Self-Blame
• The Struggle to Be Good
• Face-to-Face with the Controller
• Deepening Surrender
• Ungrieved Loss
• “Please Love Me”
• Seeing Past the Veils
• • Guided Reflection: Prayer in the Face of Difficulty
Part IV: The Gateway of Awareness
14. Refuge in Awareness
• Through the Reducing Valve
• Trusting Who We Are
• Remembering to Stop
• Learning to Unhook: Training in Open Awareness
• Exploring Inner Space
• The Backward Step
• The Three Qualities of Awareness
• Becoming a Child of Wonder
• Guided Reflection: Exploring Inner Space
• Guided Reflection: Who Am I?
• Guided Reflection: Taking the Backward Step
15. A Heart That Is Ready for Anything
• Permission to Love Life
• Happy for No Reason
• Emptiness Dancing
• A Heart That Is Ready for Anything
• Guided Reflection: Prayer of Aspiration
• Guided Reflection: Finding True Refuge
Acknowledgments
Permissions
Resources
About the Author
Contents
Brach T (2013) (12:01) True Refuge - Finding Peace and Freedom in Your Own Awakened Heart
Prologue: “Loving Life No Matter What”
Part I: Our Search for Refuge
01. Winds of Homecoming
• Our Cry for Help
• Coming Home to Loving Presence
• Learning to Trust the Waves
• Natural Presence: Wakeful, Open, and Tender
• Coming Back to Presence
• Guided Meditation: A Pause for Presence
02. Leaving Home: The Trance of Small Self
• Natural Presence: Wakeful, Open, and Tender
• The Perfection Project Collapses
• Space-Suit Self Is Small Self
• Awakening from Trance
• Trance and Awakening Are Both Natural
• Guided Meditation: Lovingkindness: Being Kind to Yourself
03. Meditation: The Path to Presence
• Training Your Mind
• • Remembering What Matters
• • Cultivating a Wise Attitude
• • Creating Time and Space to Practice
• • Sustaining Your Practice
• Off the Cushion: Meditation Training and Daily Life
• Trusting Your Heart and Awareness
• Guided Meditation: Coming Back
• Guided Meditation: Being Here
04. Three Gateways to Refuge
• The Gateway of Truth
• • Meditation: Awakening to Truth
• • Ethics: Living Aligned with Truth
• • Teachings on Truth: Accepting What Is Real
• The Gateway of Love
• The Gateway of Awareness
• Start Where You Are
• Guided Reflection: Remembering the Most Important Thing
Part II: The Gateway of Truth
05. RAIN: Cultivating Mindfulness in Difficult Times
• Recognize What Is Happening
• Allow Life to Be Just as It Is
• Investigate with Kindness
• Non-identification: Rest in Natural Awareness
• Applying RAIN to Blame
• Guidelines for Practicing with RAIN
• • Give Yourself the Support of a Regular Meditation Practice
• • Cultivate Flexibility
• • Practice with the “Small Stuff”
• • Seek Help
• • Let Your Senses Be a Gateway to Presence
• • Be Mindful of Doubt
• • Be Patient
• • Be Sincere
• Guided Reflection: Bringing RAIN to Difficulty
• • R: Recognize What Is Happening
• • A: Allow Life to Be Just as It Is
• • I: Investigate with an Intimate Attention
• • N: Non-identification: Rest in Natural Awareness
• Guided Reflection: A Light RAIN: Practicing “On the Spot”
06. Awakening to the Life of the Body
• Our Chain of Reactivity
• Touching the Ground
• Entering the Body
• If It Feels Like Too Much
• Recognizing Unlived Life
• Coming Alive Through the Body
• Planting Ourselves in the Universe
• Guided Reflection: Bringing RAIN to Pain
• Guided Reflection: The Buddha’s Smile
07. Possessed by the Mind: The Prison of Obsessive Thinking
• “Lost in Thought”
• Compulsive Thinking Is a False Refuge
• Strangled by Obsession
• In the Grip of Emotion
• Bringing RAIN to Obsessive Thinking
• Real but Not True
• Guided Reflection: My Top-Ten Hits
• Guided Reflection: Bringing RAIN to Obsession
08. Investigating Core Beliefs
• Suffering: The Call to Investigate Beliefs
• The Portal of Addiction
• Why Core Beliefs Are So Powerful
• In the Grip of Fear-Beliefs
• Our Beliefs Become Our Destiny—Unless We See Them
• Into the Black Hole
• The Power of Inquiry
• • “What am I believing?”
• • “Is this really true?”
• • “What is it like to live with this belief?”
• • “What stops me from letting go of this belief?”
• • “What would my life be like without this belief?”
• • “Who (or what) would I be if I no longer lived with this belief?”
• Living Beyond Beliefs
• Refuge in Truth
• Guided Reflection: Beliefs Inventory
• Guided Reflection: Catching Beliefs on the Fly
Part III: The Gateway of Love
09. Heart Medicine for Traumatic Fear
• The Legacy of Trauma
• Understanding Trauma
• Taking Refuge in Love
• The Need for New Resources
• Cultivating an Inner Refuge
• “I’m Trusting My Soul”
• Fierce Grace: Becoming Who We Are
• Guided Meditation: Lovingkindness: Receiving Love
• Guided Meditation: Tonglen: A Healing Presence with Fear
10. Self-Compassion: Releasing the Second Arrow
• Addicted to Self-Blame
• “It’s not your fault … really.”
• Releasing the Second Arrow
• Seeing Beyond Our Faults
• A Parent’s Heart
• When We’ve Caused Harm
• The Urge to Make Amends
• Guided Reflection: Self-Forgiveness Scan
• Guided Reflection: Ending the War with Yourself
11. The Courage to Forgive
• Which Wolf Will You Feed?
• Understanding Forgiveness
• RAIN with Anger
• Widening Circles of Compassion
• How Would a Buddha Respond?
• Forgiveness Is Not Passivity
• A Shattered Heart
• The Freedom of a Forgiving Heart
• Guided Meditation: A Forgiving Heart Toward Others
• • Asking for Forgiveness
• • Forgiving Ourselves
• • Forgiving Others
12. Holding Hands: Living Compassion
• Creating Separation: Self and Other
• Seeing Past the Mask
• The “Other” Is Part of Us
• Compassion Can be Cultivated
• Breathing In: “Ear of the Heart”
• Speaking and Receiving Difficult Truths
• Breathing Out: Offering Our Care
• Offering Blessings
• Guided Meditation: Tonglen: Awakening the Heart of Compassion
• Guided Meditation: Lovingkindness: Seeing Past the Mask
13. Losing What We Love: The Pain of Separation
• The Community of Loss
• Defending Against Loss
• The Armor of Blame
• The Second Arrow: Self-Blame
• The Struggle to Be Good
• Face-to-Face with the Controller
• Deepening Surrender
• Ungrieved Loss
• “Please Love Me”
• Seeing Past the Veils
• • Guided Reflection: Prayer in the Face of Difficulty
Part IV: The Gateway of Awareness
14. Refuge in Awareness
• Through the Reducing Valve
• Trusting Who We Are
• Remembering to Stop
• Learning to Unhook: Training in Open Awareness
• Exploring Inner Space
• The Backward Step
• The Three Qualities of Awareness
• Becoming a Child of Wonder
• Guided Reflection: Exploring Inner Space
• Guided Reflection: Who Am I?
• Guided Reflection: Taking the Backward Step
15. A Heart That Is Ready for Anything
• Permission to Love Life
• Happy for No Reason
• Emptiness Dancing
• A Heart That Is Ready for Anything
• Guided Reflection: Prayer of Aspiration
• Guided Reflection: Finding True Refuge
Acknowledgments
Permissions
Resources
About the Author
July 6, 2020
True Refuge approaches meditation and mindfulness through a thoughtful emotional lens. On the contrary, the mindfulness approach that I was taught by a therapist instructed me to bring the focus of attention away from my mental ruminations to the present. I was meant to pay attention to sensory stimulation, like the breeze in the afternoon or the golden light of the hour just before the sun sets. In meditation, I was to let thoughts be. They were to come and go like cars at a stoplight while I focused on my breathing.
This practice was soothing during times of little to no stress, but when my mind was really lit up fear, grief, or sadness I felt weirdly uncomfortable when I tried to meditate. What if your present is horrible?
As I tried to breathe in calm and breath out tension, the tension would creep back up my nostrils like invisible smoke. The cars would come to the stoplight, but they wouldn't go. At the end of the meditation session it felt like my entire psyche was 50 car pile up.
Tara Brach is a licensed clinical psychologist as well as a practicing Buddhist. Her approach to mindfulness meditation is a little bit different. With patient anecdotes and quotes from Buddhist teaching, she writes about turning attention inward during difficult times. That very tension that you're trying so hard to breathe out can instead invite a mindful reflection on how you're feeling.
People tend to turn away from noxious stimulus. It's natural. It's harder to sit with our feelings when they are painful. A child burrowing under the covers to hide from the monster in the closet will certainly be afraid every night. Only shining a bright light in the closet helps her realize it's just clothes in there. Likewise, turning away from fear doesn't make it go away. Distraction, avoidance, using alcohol or medication may work in the short term but it doesn't resolve deeper feelings of pain and fear. On the contrary, repressing normal feelings can induce a type of numbness where where you can't feel much of anything at all, good or bad.
Tara Brach encourages the reader to peel off the spacesuit self - the armor we wear to protect our emotions from hurt by others - and bring honest attention to the difficulties we are feeling. By welcoming thoughts and feelings with kindness and allowing them to be expressed and experienced, we can work toward more a sense of perspective, compassion and insight.
Some of the examples in the book make this work seem a little bit easier than it is. At first I found the exercises incredibly difficult and uncomfortable. Turning toward fear or shame or anger is not intuitive. Using mindfulness as a way to gently connect with my physical pain and emotional pain, I began to feel calm again. I had not realized how disconnected from myself I had become, or how hard I had worked on avoiding pain.
Now, I am able to lie still sometimes in the quiet. Before I had to have a radio on or something else to distract me from my own thoughts and my illness. Again I am starting to feel at home in my own body and mind. I can even focus on the sensory kind of mindfulness sometimes.
True Refuge is more reminiscent of therapy work than wellness or self-help work. Many of the exercises involve a sort of cognitive behavior therapy based on the recognition of emotions, reflection and analysis, and self nurturing. I have used this technique over and over again and have found it incredibly helpful.
This practice was soothing during times of little to no stress, but when my mind was really lit up fear, grief, or sadness I felt weirdly uncomfortable when I tried to meditate. What if your present is horrible?
As I tried to breathe in calm and breath out tension, the tension would creep back up my nostrils like invisible smoke. The cars would come to the stoplight, but they wouldn't go. At the end of the meditation session it felt like my entire psyche was 50 car pile up.
Tara Brach is a licensed clinical psychologist as well as a practicing Buddhist. Her approach to mindfulness meditation is a little bit different. With patient anecdotes and quotes from Buddhist teaching, she writes about turning attention inward during difficult times. That very tension that you're trying so hard to breathe out can instead invite a mindful reflection on how you're feeling.
People tend to turn away from noxious stimulus. It's natural. It's harder to sit with our feelings when they are painful. A child burrowing under the covers to hide from the monster in the closet will certainly be afraid every night. Only shining a bright light in the closet helps her realize it's just clothes in there. Likewise, turning away from fear doesn't make it go away. Distraction, avoidance, using alcohol or medication may work in the short term but it doesn't resolve deeper feelings of pain and fear. On the contrary, repressing normal feelings can induce a type of numbness where where you can't feel much of anything at all, good or bad.
Tara Brach encourages the reader to peel off the spacesuit self - the armor we wear to protect our emotions from hurt by others - and bring honest attention to the difficulties we are feeling. By welcoming thoughts and feelings with kindness and allowing them to be expressed and experienced, we can work toward more a sense of perspective, compassion and insight.
Some of the examples in the book make this work seem a little bit easier than it is. At first I found the exercises incredibly difficult and uncomfortable. Turning toward fear or shame or anger is not intuitive. Using mindfulness as a way to gently connect with my physical pain and emotional pain, I began to feel calm again. I had not realized how disconnected from myself I had become, or how hard I had worked on avoiding pain.
Now, I am able to lie still sometimes in the quiet. Before I had to have a radio on or something else to distract me from my own thoughts and my illness. Again I am starting to feel at home in my own body and mind. I can even focus on the sensory kind of mindfulness sometimes.
True Refuge is more reminiscent of therapy work than wellness or self-help work. Many of the exercises involve a sort of cognitive behavior therapy based on the recognition of emotions, reflection and analysis, and self nurturing. I have used this technique over and over again and have found it incredibly helpful.
January 31, 2013
Its going to take me a minute to read this book -and that's a compliment. Every time I start picking up speed Brach writes something that stops me in my tracks and forces me to stop, backtrack, reread and then live her advice for a couple of days. Then I go back and reread, move forward a little bit, start picking up speed and the process repeats itself. I have a shelf of Buddhist texts, but its Brach that always breaks the information down so sensibly. My favorite parts are when she's giving anecdotal bits about her life and her path-journey. It wasn't a perfect journey. She tells you all her bumps in the road, the times she was mean and selfish. At one point I gasped out loud and said, no you didn't Tara Brach! But she did and in each memory she's teaching you. Its truly a living text.
ARC provided by Net Galley
ARC provided by Net Galley
February 4, 2014
She is one of my favorite Buddhist authors. While this book didn't rock my world like Radical Acceptance, I still found it a sweet rich visit to freedom. If you haven't read or listened to Tara, get that remedied today!
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August 21, 2016Can already tell this is a powerful, honest, just awesome book. I sense i will be dottig it with post-it's as I did her previous book, highly recommended: Radical Acceptance.
September 6, 2019
My first time completing a book on mindfulness and meditation - listened to as an Audible. The introduction grabbed me, being familiar with chronic pain, and I did find refuge in knowing that it is possible to find other ways to cope with the emotional and physical strain of such a condition. Brach does an excellent job detailing practical practices for such challenges in life. Her focus was more on the psychological aspects, and I would have found it to be a better book with some attention paid to the physical aspects.
I was frustrated with the real life examples that she gave of sessions with clients and the outcome. After YEARS of emotional dysfunction and anxiety, the book portrayed using RAIN as a rather miraculous solution to some issues that had been with many of her clients since childhood. This, combined with some of the less tangible concepts that were difficult to grasp garnered a drop from 3.75 to 3 stars.
I was frustrated with the real life examples that she gave of sessions with clients and the outcome. After YEARS of emotional dysfunction and anxiety, the book portrayed using RAIN as a rather miraculous solution to some issues that had been with many of her clients since childhood. This, combined with some of the less tangible concepts that were difficult to grasp garnered a drop from 3.75 to 3 stars.
March 13, 2014
What I really loved about this book is that I've been listening to/reading Tara Brach for over a year now, one book and a couple dozen podcast episodes and not once did I know that she was diagnosed with a degenerative genetic disease that is slowly making her life ever more painful. She doesn't focus on that to get sympathy or to show strength, but she does bring it out and explore it deeply in this one book in order to relate to those who are experiencing deep sorrow in their lives. She continues to pull out meaning from darkness, never giving simple answers and acknowledging pain in really meaningful ways.
November 27, 2020
Tara Brach has mastered the art of creating two-word phrases that sound profound but are actually meaningless. If you doubt what I am saying look at the thousands of instances of two-word phrases in this book and wonder what the opposite of the phrase would be. Do you turn the first word negative or the second word? Or does it not work whichever way you do it (if something does not have an antithesis then is it really a thing)? Also, think of a concrete example of the phrase (you will struggle with that one). Ms Brach relies on the abstract and also on people feeling foolish for not understanding a word she is saying; but, she is wearing the emperor's new self-help clothes.
July 10, 2020
“We weigh down our lives with memories of what used to be and fears of what we have yet to lose. We make music with what we have left.”
At the risk of being hyperbolic, I think this book may have changed my life. It’s not really new information to me (mindfulness is big focus), but way it was presented really resonated with me and among other things, gives me fresh motivation and approach to meditation practice I struggle with. Found myself taking lots of notes and jotting things down. Lots of examples drawn from Buddhism, so I guess if that’s not your cup of tea might be sorta off putting?
At the risk of being hyperbolic, I think this book may have changed my life. It’s not really new information to me (mindfulness is big focus), but way it was presented really resonated with me and among other things, gives me fresh motivation and approach to meditation practice I struggle with. Found myself taking lots of notes and jotting things down. Lots of examples drawn from Buddhism, so I guess if that’s not your cup of tea might be sorta off putting?
July 18, 2020
“The great gift of a spiritual path is coming to trust that you can find a way to true refuge. You realize that you can start right where you are, in the midst of your life, and find peace in any circumstance. Even at those moments when the ground shakes terribly beneath you—when there’s a loss that will alter your life forever—you can still trust that you will find your way home. This is possible because you’ve touched the timeless love and awareness that are intrinsic to who you are.”
“The only way to live is by accepting each minute as an unrepeatable miracle.”
“The only way to live is by accepting each minute as an unrepeatable miracle.”
August 30, 2013
Brach writes of her own frustration with a rare disease that causes pain everywhere in her body and has hindered her once active lifestyle, and how meditation has helped. She also describes how she teaches meditation to those who come to her for guidance in handling difficult events in their lives. Author gives a lot of interesting meditation coping skills, but at times it drifts off into 'hippie talk'.
February 24, 2016
Loved it. As soon as I finished, I started it over again. I read in little bites, food for each day.
January 29, 2024
I found this perspective very helpful for dealing with issues in my own life, particularly around forgiveness and ruminating thoughts.
August 19, 2023
I respected Tara Brach before I read this book after my experiences reading Radical Acceptance. She writes clearly, calmly, and with a thoughtful compassion towards others and herself. After reading True Refuge, I now not only respect her, but love her. As someone living with a chronic disease and chronic pain, Brach’s articulation of her own experience with these challenges struck me as incredibly honest, while simultaneously offering hope not through healing, but through applying the principles of mindful awareness to look at ourselves in the reality of our embodiment. That’s a tricky balance to pull off, and Brach does wonderfully!
June 5, 2015
I discovered Tara Brach through her first book, 'Radical Acceptance', a few years ago while going through a very difficult personal time. It became my constant companion as I navigated the many stages of a painful & nonlinear process. I loved the audio version & have since listened to it & accompanying meditations many times. I find her teaching style incredibly helpful, and it's much enhanced by her gentle voice, approach, and delivery, which to me are as healing as the content of her teachings.
Brach's teachings are not founded in any given religion or belief system. In fact one of the things I love & appreciate most about her & her teachings is that she draws from a wide range of traditions, cultures, authors, news pieces, psychological & social studies & insights, religious leaders & activists & much more, all delivered in her characteristic gentleness & wisdom.
In her weekly teaching talks (available for free online & via podcast) which I discovered at the same time as her book, she interweaves quotes, stories, meditations, articles, humor with personal anecdotes. I also love that she is a psychologist and practicing therapist herself, with a deep understanding of the human psyche.
I highly recommend both her books, 'Radical Acceptance' and 'True Refuge' (read in that order), as well as her Wednesday night teaching talks & meditations(archives available at www.tarabrach.com). I listen to the talks almost nightly before going to sleep, and get as much benefit from them now as I did a few years ago when I first discovered them. True Refuge has become my #1 go-to book for dealing with life's challenges.
Brach's teachings are not founded in any given religion or belief system. In fact one of the things I love & appreciate most about her & her teachings is that she draws from a wide range of traditions, cultures, authors, news pieces, psychological & social studies & insights, religious leaders & activists & much more, all delivered in her characteristic gentleness & wisdom.
In her weekly teaching talks (available for free online & via podcast) which I discovered at the same time as her book, she interweaves quotes, stories, meditations, articles, humor with personal anecdotes. I also love that she is a psychologist and practicing therapist herself, with a deep understanding of the human psyche.
I highly recommend both her books, 'Radical Acceptance' and 'True Refuge' (read in that order), as well as her Wednesday night teaching talks & meditations(archives available at www.tarabrach.com). I listen to the talks almost nightly before going to sleep, and get as much benefit from them now as I did a few years ago when I first discovered them. True Refuge has become my #1 go-to book for dealing with life's challenges.
March 2, 2014
With the her wisdom and kindness, the author shows us how to directly face our emotional discomfort in order to heal ourselves and move forward. She shows us that when we run away from whatever bother us through false refuges such as materialism, endless TV and internet, or being busy, we perpetuate the problems and continue to make ourselves suffer. Instead, Brach explains that only by seeing the problems directly and experience them through our body that we can truly thrive and feel connected to ourselves and others.The meditations she provided are very practical and easy to implement. With most of them, I can feel the effects the first time I tried them out, such the RAIN or Buddha's Smile meditations.
I particularly like that beside being a spiritual teacher, Tara Brach is also a clinical psychologists. This means aside from offering wisdom and guidance, Brach includes many real life examples of her patients. The stories of their struggles and healing are very inspirational and greatly illustrates the concept the author talks about.
This wonderful book completely changes the way I treat myself and my difficult emotions, which surface quite often throughout the day. Before, I often tried to push discomfort out of my awareness through suppressing or distracting. While this might give me temporary relief, the problems persist and each time they come back, the emotional and mental damages they inflict become progressively greater.
I particularly like that beside being a spiritual teacher, Tara Brach is also a clinical psychologists. This means aside from offering wisdom and guidance, Brach includes many real life examples of her patients. The stories of their struggles and healing are very inspirational and greatly illustrates the concept the author talks about.
This wonderful book completely changes the way I treat myself and my difficult emotions, which surface quite often throughout the day. Before, I often tried to push discomfort out of my awareness through suppressing or distracting. While this might give me temporary relief, the problems persist and each time they come back, the emotional and mental damages they inflict become progressively greater.
September 30, 2021
The different meditation techniques mentioned in this book got me very much excited. I've started practicing them at home and at work, particularly the RAIN technique, to improve my awareness of my emotions and be better at acting from a place of kindness and compassion in difficult moments. By the second half of the book, the pace of the book started feeling quite slow for me, with long examples from Tara's therapy practice. Personally, I would have appreciated more abbreviated chapters, but that may also be that the subject matter (e.g. grieving the loss of a loved one, addressing chronic pain) weren't so relevant to my life just at this moment.
All in all a good book that tries to marry current western psychotherapy practice with far eastern meditation practices. I found myself taking away some lifelong tools to being a healthier happier person.
All in all a good book that tries to marry current western psychotherapy practice with far eastern meditation practices. I found myself taking away some lifelong tools to being a healthier happier person.
July 23, 2013
What an amazing book. This is a book I recommend highly and know I will be revisiting again and again for its wisdom, depth and heart. Tara Brach describes the landscape and journey of a mindfulness practice with so much aliveness and so much love. There are many ways that mindfulness practice can be described but I feel so inspired and drawn to the way Tara frames this practice, as a courageous and sometimes painful breaking open of the heart, as, indeed, a path toward more and more spacious love. And she does thus with beautiful and inspiring stories of her students and her clients as well as very human and vulnerable sharing of her own struggles and suffering. In short, I love this book and think it has and will continue to deepen my capacity for an open-hearted life.
May 4, 2015
Books that make me tear up from time to time with poignant stories of the human condition leave me feeling "tenderized" and in touch with my own heart. This is one of those books. Tara Brach is a well known Buddhist teacher, but the practices and vignettes in this book are accessible to anyone. Because Tara is a practicing psychologist, there are many stories of her clients' experiences and this makes the book really come alive. Tara is a gifted teacher, and her warmth and her own struggles comes through these pages. I have not yet found reliable peace and freedom in my own awakened heart, but the experience of reading this book has given me a vision of what that could look like.
December 21, 2020
5 For me this book is revelatory. I have been practicing meditation on and off since high school but had found, lately, things not flowing. Other books like the Untethered Soul and You’re A Badass didn’t offer much if any insight beyond—just do it already. Yeah, not so helpful but one of my besties stepped in and brought me this on one of our stoop visits. The reflections and meditations are helpful as well an inspiring. Lately, I have been using the meditation on being kind to myself. This book coupled with Broken Open are allowing me to move into kindness with myself. For example, I am no longer going to speak ill of my body in any way. She deserves better.
March 3, 2019
I love how this book touches on such a huge scope of meditation practice - from very concrete daily practice - to deep philosophy about the nature of the universe and what we are. I find it encouraging and I appreciate Brach's vulnerability and openness.
The narrator's voice was lovely and fit so well with the subject matter. However, part of me wishes I had this book on paper so I could highlight and refer back to certain sections more easily. But still this was encouraging and sweet to listen to.
The narrator's voice was lovely and fit so well with the subject matter. However, part of me wishes I had this book on paper so I could highlight and refer back to certain sections more easily. But still this was encouraging and sweet to listen to.
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