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Living Beautifully with Uncertainty and Change
Is it possible to live well when the very ground we stand on is shaky? Yes, says everyone's favorite Buddhist nun, it's even possible to live beautifully, compassionately, and happily on shaky ground—and the secret is: the ground is always shaky. Pema shows how using a traditional Buddhist practice called the Three Vows or Three Commitments is a way to relax into profound sanity in the midst of whatever non-sanity is happening around us. Just making these simple aspirations can change the way we look at the world and can provide us with a lifetime of material for spiritual practice.
The three commitments are three methods for embracing the chaotic, uncertain, dynamic, challenging nature of our situation as a path to awakening. The first of the commitments, traditionally called the Pratimoksha Vow, is the foundation for personal liberation. This is a commitment to doing our best to not cause harm with our actions or words or thoughts, a commitment to being good to each other. It provides a structure within which we learn to work with our thoughts and emotions, and to refrain from speaking or acting out of confusion. The next step toward being comfortable with groundlessness is a commitment to helping others, traditionally called the Bodhisattva Vow. It is a commitment to dedicate our lives to keeping our hearts and minds open, and nurturing our compassion with the longing to ease the suffering of the world. The last of the three commitments, traditionally known as the Samaya Vow, is a resolve to embrace the world just as it is, without bias; a resolve to see everything we encounter, good and bad, pleasant and painful, as a manifestation of awakened energy. It is a commitment to see everything and anything as a means by which we can awaken further.
The three commitments are three methods for embracing the chaotic, uncertain, dynamic, challenging nature of our situation as a path to awakening. The first of the commitments, traditionally called the Pratimoksha Vow, is the foundation for personal liberation. This is a commitment to doing our best to not cause harm with our actions or words or thoughts, a commitment to being good to each other. It provides a structure within which we learn to work with our thoughts and emotions, and to refrain from speaking or acting out of confusion. The next step toward being comfortable with groundlessness is a commitment to helping others, traditionally called the Bodhisattva Vow. It is a commitment to dedicate our lives to keeping our hearts and minds open, and nurturing our compassion with the longing to ease the suffering of the world. The last of the three commitments, traditionally known as the Samaya Vow, is a resolve to embrace the world just as it is, without bias; a resolve to see everything we encounter, good and bad, pleasant and painful, as a manifestation of awakened energy. It is a commitment to see everything and anything as a means by which we can awaken further.
128 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 2012
About the author
Pema Chödrön
154 books5,014 followersAni Pema Chödrön (Deirdre Blomfield-Brown) is an American Buddhist nun in the Tibetan tradition, closely associated with the Kagyu school and the Shambhala lineage.
She attended Miss Porter's School in Connecticut and graduated from the University of California at Berkeley. She taught as an elementary school teacher for many years in both New Mexico and California. Pema has two children and three grandchildren.
While in her mid-thirties, she traveled to the French Alps and encountered Lama Chime Rinpoche, with whom she studied for several years. She became a novice nun in 1974 while studying with Lama Chime in London. His Holiness the Sixteenth Karmapa came to England at that time, and Ani Pema received her ordination from him.
Ani Pema first met her root guru, Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche, in 1972. Lama Chime encouraged her to work with Trungpa, and it was with him that she ultimately made her most profound connection, studying with him from 1974 until his death in 1987. At the request of the Sixteenth Karmapa, she received the full bikshuni ordination in the Chinese lineage of Buddhism in 1981 in Hong Kong.
Ani Pema served as the director of the Karma Dzong, in Boulder, CO, until moving in 1984 to rural Cape Breton, Nova Scotia to be the director of Gampo Abbey. Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche gave her explicit instructions on establishing this monastery for western monks and nuns.
Ani Pema currently teaches in the United States and Canada and plans for an increased amount of time in solitary retreat under the guidance of Venerable Dzigar Kongtrul Rinpoche.
She attended Miss Porter's School in Connecticut and graduated from the University of California at Berkeley. She taught as an elementary school teacher for many years in both New Mexico and California. Pema has two children and three grandchildren.
While in her mid-thirties, she traveled to the French Alps and encountered Lama Chime Rinpoche, with whom she studied for several years. She became a novice nun in 1974 while studying with Lama Chime in London. His Holiness the Sixteenth Karmapa came to England at that time, and Ani Pema received her ordination from him.
Ani Pema first met her root guru, Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche, in 1972. Lama Chime encouraged her to work with Trungpa, and it was with him that she ultimately made her most profound connection, studying with him from 1974 until his death in 1987. At the request of the Sixteenth Karmapa, she received the full bikshuni ordination in the Chinese lineage of Buddhism in 1981 in Hong Kong.
Ani Pema served as the director of the Karma Dzong, in Boulder, CO, until moving in 1984 to rural Cape Breton, Nova Scotia to be the director of Gampo Abbey. Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche gave her explicit instructions on establishing this monastery for western monks and nuns.
Ani Pema currently teaches in the United States and Canada and plans for an increased amount of time in solitary retreat under the guidance of Venerable Dzigar Kongtrul Rinpoche.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 441 reviews
December 29, 2012
Look, it's impossible to not like Pema Chodron if you are someone who in interested in spiritual enlightenment. She is an American raised Buddhist who writes in the style anyone can understand and relate to. She's not overly "God" in her dialogue, and she's very down-to-earth. She's not out of touch with the realities of life.
This is NOT a self-help book. This is a self-AWARENESS book. It's about how to live with and accept the crap and the glory in life. It's how Buddhists make it through the day. It's practical and very, very helpful as a daily reminder of how you need to check your own s*&t in life and stop checking others.
A smart, packed-full slim volume that is ideal beside reading. Reminds us of what matters in this life.
This is one book you will NOT regret owning.
This is NOT a self-help book. This is a self-AWARENESS book. It's about how to live with and accept the crap and the glory in life. It's how Buddhists make it through the day. It's practical and very, very helpful as a daily reminder of how you need to check your own s*&t in life and stop checking others.
A smart, packed-full slim volume that is ideal beside reading. Reminds us of what matters in this life.
This is one book you will NOT regret owning.
July 13, 2012
"The Tibetan word for warrior, paw for a male warrior or pawmo for a female warrior, means “the one who cultivates bravery.” As warriors in training, we cultivate the courage and flexibility to live with uncertainty — with the shaky, tender feeling of anxiety, of nothing to hold on to — and to dedicate our lives to making ourselves available to every person, in every situation."
I have been a Pema Chodron fan for many years now. The Buddhist nun’s work has been critical to my on-sometimes, off-sometimes (but not steadily on, thankfully) meditation practice. In Living Beautifully, Chodron writes with her trademark simplicity and directness about living with uncertainty, opening our hearts to transitions and pain through tonglen practice and learning that the “time of the lone wolf is over” and we cannot make any real changes to ourselves or the world on our own. I’m biased because I’m a Chodron fan, but this one is really great. It challenged me to work with being open, despite my inclination to judge my reactions to life and to close down emotions and feelings and to shut down to people who make me uncomfortable. The book is based on a series of talks, it comes with a mini-guide at the end to some of her other works, including Start Where You Are and When Things Fall Apart.
December 1, 2015
A beautiful rendering of The Three Commitments written in a very accepting and peaceful tone that felt like a discussion with a kind, brilliant friend. Much to ponder if you are interested in and open to it.
June 4, 2020
I wish I could just memorize this book. Every time I read it, I get so much more from it. It's a guide for living and never more appropriate and useful than right now as the world seems to be exploding (at least here in NYC).
I feel that I "should" be reading other books but this is where I'm turning to and finding comfort.
I feel that I "should" be reading other books but this is where I'm turning to and finding comfort.
December 9, 2012
Such a beautifully written little book.
"When the appearances of this life dissolve
May I with ease and great happiness,
Let go of all attachments to this life,
As a son or daughter returning home."
Dzigar Kongtrül
April 27, 2016
I am exhausted of these books and the fact that I am so tired tells me that I probably need them all the more, that I am burning out because they are the right thing, that I am unwilling to internalize them because they are so potent. The point of this book—and others like it—is that resistance is futile, that to be whole, we must lean into the dogs that chase us in the night, that we must accept the hard things, the angry things; we must meet darkness in full, move within it and then, perhaps, we will find enlightenment.
It’s a hefty promise and a simple premise but deceptive too. Frustrating. The acceptance mindset of Buddhist principles like the three vows Chodron discusses in Living Beautifully feels as timeless as the day and night, but that doesn’t make it any easier to put into action. Knowledge is not always freedom. Sometimes it’s the light coming through the bars on the cage that you are too tired to break out of.
It’s a hefty promise and a simple premise but deceptive too. Frustrating. The acceptance mindset of Buddhist principles like the three vows Chodron discusses in Living Beautifully feels as timeless as the day and night, but that doesn’t make it any easier to put into action. Knowledge is not always freedom. Sometimes it’s the light coming through the bars on the cage that you are too tired to break out of.
March 23, 2019
A few months ago, I went back to read “Living Beautifully with Uncertainty and Change” by Pema Chödrön. Such a small book, such a long time to read. I bought this book last year in one of those book-shopping sprees that was no more than an attempt to make my time in Qatar bearable, it had stayed on the shelves for a while. Then it migrated to my night table together with another book of similar inclinations—books that proclaimed to rework the teachings of the Buddha for modern western audiences—and there it stayed for more than six months. Every night I took it up looking for enlightenment or to learn something interesting; today I finished it without being able to accomplish my goal.
“Living Beautifully with Uncertainty and Change” seems to be a collection of seriously impractical advice for the fluffy-minded.
You’ll notice that it has excellent ratings in amazon.com; that goes to show you that there is a community of fuzzy-heads out there that can be very misleading with their recommendations. Anyway, now you have more data with which to reach an better-informed opinion.
See the long version of this review in my blog: http://rantinella.com/index.php/2018/...
“Living Beautifully with Uncertainty and Change” seems to be a collection of seriously impractical advice for the fluffy-minded.
You’ll notice that it has excellent ratings in amazon.com; that goes to show you that there is a community of fuzzy-heads out there that can be very misleading with their recommendations. Anyway, now you have more data with which to reach an better-informed opinion.
See the long version of this review in my blog: http://rantinella.com/index.php/2018/...
December 26, 2012
Pema Chodron's books are full of wisdom, and I say this because I have read many of them and talked with others who have read them. This book is not only for our precarious lives today but for all times. She helps us understand that it is not the circumstances that threaten us but our reaction, our resistance to "the fundamental uncertainty of our situation" that causes our suffering. We need to let the truth of "how things really are" sink in by being fully present, feeling our hearts, and meeting each moment without an agenda. Meditation helps this to become familiar ground upon which to live our lives, it helps us establish a habit of seeing the truth of what hooks us, so we can recognize it more easily in our daily lives. Acknowledging that we're hooked (with a sense of compassion for ourselves) is the first step to liberating us from that suffering: "...we will come to experience life's impermanent and changing energy not just as threatening, but also as refreshing, liberating, and inspiring."
Beyond compassion for ourselves is our compassion for others. She describes bodhicitta as "...a trust in our innate ability to go beyond bias, beyond prejudice and fixed opinions, and open our hearts to everyone..." It helps loosen us from narrow thinking and our resistance to change. Pema points out that this may need to happen very gradually, and we need to be okay with making even a little more headway each time we recoil in fear from meeting this particular edge. "We live our lives as an experiment." Our strong intention to make headway and our compassion for ourselves and others keeps us going.
There is so much that is helpful in this book, ways to practice as well as insights, that I kept track of particularly striking passages, and I will be reading it again. One of the most helpful analogies for me was visualizating of my life as an ever-changing mandala, and I will end this review with a quote from that part of the book:
"We stand in the center of our own circle, and everything we see, hear, and think forms the mandala of our life...we don't set it up; we don't get to choose what or who shows up in it... Everything that shows up in your mandala is a vehicle for your awakening. And we embrace it just as it is."
Beyond compassion for ourselves is our compassion for others. She describes bodhicitta as "...a trust in our innate ability to go beyond bias, beyond prejudice and fixed opinions, and open our hearts to everyone..." It helps loosen us from narrow thinking and our resistance to change. Pema points out that this may need to happen very gradually, and we need to be okay with making even a little more headway each time we recoil in fear from meeting this particular edge. "We live our lives as an experiment." Our strong intention to make headway and our compassion for ourselves and others keeps us going.
There is so much that is helpful in this book, ways to practice as well as insights, that I kept track of particularly striking passages, and I will be reading it again. One of the most helpful analogies for me was visualizating of my life as an ever-changing mandala, and I will end this review with a quote from that part of the book:
"We stand in the center of our own circle, and everything we see, hear, and think forms the mandala of our life...we don't set it up; we don't get to choose what or who shows up in it... Everything that shows up in your mandala is a vehicle for your awakening. And we embrace it just as it is."
October 18, 2016
หนังสือเล่มนี้ช่วยยืนยันความเข้าใจของผมเกี่ยวกับโลกทางจิตวิญญาณของพุทธศ���สนาสองสามอย่าง อย่างหนึ่งก็คือ พุทธศาสนาไม่ใช่เรื่องของการแสดงออก (perform) แต่เป็นสิ่งที่เราต้องประพฤติ (behave) ศาสนาจึงไม่ควรถูกใช้เพื่อตัดสินและดูแคลนผู้อื่นที่ไม่ปฏิบัติให้เราเห็น แต่เป็นสิ่งที่ต้องใช้สั่งสอนตัวเองและปฏิบัติต่อตัวเอง
คุณไม่จำเป็นต้องเข้าวัด ทำบุญทำทาน ไหว้พระสงฆ์หรือพระพุทธรูป ไม่ต้องกระทั่งบรรพชาเป็นภิกษุ แต่การจะเข้าใจแก่นแกนของพุทธศาสนาสามารถกระทำได้ด้วยการสนทนากับตัวเองและพยายามทำความเข้าใจความสัมพันธ์ที่ตัวเองมีต่อสิ่งรอบข้าง
ด้วยเหตุนี้ ในข้อที่สอง แม้โจทย์ใหญ่ของพุทธศาสนาจะอยู่ที่การรับมือกับความทุกข์ที่ดำเนินมาพร้อมกับการมีอยู่ พุทธศาสนา อย่างน้อยในแบบธิเบตกลับไม่ได้พยายามตัดตัวเราออกจากความสัมพันธ์ที่เรามีภายในโลก
การเปิดรับ ยอมรับ และดำรงชีวิตอยู่ท่ามกลางความเปลี่ยนแปรและไม่แน่นอน การตั้งรับกับความเป็นจริงที่มักไม่เป็นดั่งใจเรา รวมทั้งพยายามอย่างเต็มที่ที่จะเข้าใจสถานการณ์ของผู้อื่นที่สัมพันธ์กับเรา แม้พวกเขาเหล่านั้นจะแตกต่างกับเราอย่างมหาศาล เป็นจุดเริ่มต้นขั้นแรกของการใช้ชีวิตอย่างง่ายงาม
ในแง่หนึ่ง ผมไม่ได้อ่านง่ายงามฯ ในฐานะงานทางจิตวิญญาณ แต่สนใจว่าเป็นไปได้หรือไม่ที่จะไม่ทำให้มิติทางจิตวิญญาณหลุดพ้นหรือแยกทางจากมิติทางการเมืองที่เกี่ยวพันชีวิตของเราอยู่ พูดอีกอย่างหนึ่งคือเป็นไปได้หรือไม่ที่เราจะเข้าใจถึงมิติทางจิตวิญญาณของชีวิตโดยไม่จำเป็นต้องละเลยความสำคัญของมิติทางการเมืองไปเสียหมด
ในเบื้องต้น ผมคิดว่าการพยายามเปิดรับและเข้าใจสถานการณ์ของผู้อื่นอย่างเต็มที่มีประโยชน์ไม่ใช่เฉพาะต่อการใช้ชีวิตทางจิตวิญญาณ แต่มันยังเป็นจุดเริ่มต้นของการต่อสู้ทางการเมืองที่มีประสิทธิภาพมากขึ้นด้วย
การสู้กับศัตรูโดยไม่เคยรู้และใส่ใจเลยว่าพวกเขาคิด เห็น และเป็นอย่างไร ทำให้เราก้าวพลาดง่ายๆ การพยายามเข้าใจ "กรุณา" แต่ขณะเดียวกันก็ชัดเจนในตัวเองว่าหนทางที่ดีกว่าควรเป็นอย่างไรเป็นภารกิจ��ี่น่าจะช่วยเราประเมินวิธีการต่อสู้และผลลัพธ์ที่คาดหวังจากวิธีการแต่ละแบบเสียใหม่ ไม่นับว่ายังอาจช่วยให้เรามองเห็นโลกทางการเมืองอย่างที่มันเป็นจริงมากขึ้นด้วย
คุณไม่จำเป็นต้องเข้าวัด ทำบุญทำทาน ไหว้พระสงฆ์หรือพระพุทธรูป ไม่ต้องกระทั่งบรรพชาเป็นภิกษุ แต่การจะเข้าใจแก่นแกนของพุทธศาสนาสามารถกระทำได้ด้วยการสนทนากับตัวเองและพยายามทำความเข้าใจความสัมพันธ์ที่ตัวเองมีต่อสิ่งรอบข้าง
ด้วยเหตุนี้ ในข้อที่สอง แม้โจทย์ใหญ่ของพุทธศาสนาจะอยู่ที่การรับมือกับความทุกข์ที่ดำเนินมาพร้อมกับการมีอยู่ พุทธศาสนา อย่างน้อยในแบบธิเบตกลับไม่ได้พยายามตัดตัวเราออกจากความสัมพันธ์ที่เรามีภายในโลก
การเปิดรับ ยอมรับ และดำรงชีวิตอยู่ท่ามกลางความเปลี่ยนแปรและไม่แน่นอน การตั้งรับกับความเป็นจริงที่มักไม่เป็นดั่งใจเรา รวมทั้งพยายามอย่างเต็มที่ที่จะเข้าใจสถานการณ์ของผู้อื่นที่สัมพันธ์กับเรา แม้พวกเขาเหล่านั้นจะแตกต่างกับเราอย่างมหาศาล เป็นจุดเริ่มต้นขั้นแรกของการใช้ชีวิตอย่างง่ายงาม
ในแง่หนึ่ง ผมไม่ได้อ่านง่ายงามฯ ในฐานะงานทางจิตวิญญาณ แต่สนใจว่าเป็นไปได้หรือไม่ที่จะไม่ทำให้มิติทางจิตวิญญาณหลุดพ้นหรือแยกทางจากมิติทางการเมืองที่เกี่ยวพันชีวิตของเราอยู่ พูดอีกอย่างหนึ่งคือเป็นไปได้หรือไม่ที่เราจะเข้าใจถึงมิติทางจิตวิญญาณของชีวิตโดยไม่จำเป็นต้องละเลยความสำคัญของมิติทางการเมืองไปเสียหมด
ในเบื้องต้น ผมคิดว่าการพยายามเปิดรับและเข้าใจสถานการณ์ของผู้อื่นอย่างเต็มที่มีประโยชน์ไม่ใช่เฉพาะต่อการใช้ชีวิตทางจิตวิญญาณ แต่มันยังเป็นจุดเริ่มต้นของการต่อสู้ทางการเมืองที่มีประสิทธิภาพมากขึ้นด้วย
การสู้กับศัตรูโดยไม่เคยรู้และใส่ใจเลยว่าพวกเขาคิด เห็น และเป็นอย่างไร ทำให้เราก้าวพลาดง่ายๆ การพยายามเข้าใจ "กรุณา" แต่ขณะเดียวกันก็ชัดเจนในตัวเองว่าหนทางที่ดีกว่าควรเป็นอย่างไรเป็นภารกิจ��ี่น่าจะช่วยเราประเมินวิธีการต่อสู้และผลลัพธ์ที่คาดหวังจากวิธีการแต่ละแบบเสียใหม่ ไม่นับว่ายังอาจช่วยให้เรามองเห็นโลกทางการเมืองอย่างที่มันเป็นจริงมากขึ้นด้วย
January 11, 2018
In which I realize that I am not yet a Buddhist and may never be one. Helpful insights abound in this book but I found myself being contrary as I read it, which I am pretty sure is not at all the point of Buddhism. I am still really attached to my emotions, even the ones I don't like, and while I loved learning that most emotions only last for 90 seconds before they pass unless we feed them, sometimes I want to feed my emotions.
Simultaneously while reading the book, my family is preparing for the imminent loss of a very beloved person. She's elderly and ill and has recently rejected supportive care. Her body is dying and I am very, very sad at the loss of this very special soul. And I want to be sad for longer than 90 seconds. I want to really feel and feed that sadness for a while, not detachedly name and observe the sadness, but fully participate and embrace the grief.
I get that I am probably not at all getting it, this whole point of "living beautifully," but since I don't get it and the central message is not at all resonating for me, it's time to kindly and respectfully thank Chodron for the parts that I could embrace and return the book to the library so it can be read by a more receptive, more Buddhist soul.
Simultaneously while reading the book, my family is preparing for the imminent loss of a very beloved person. She's elderly and ill and has recently rejected supportive care. Her body is dying and I am very, very sad at the loss of this very special soul. And I want to be sad for longer than 90 seconds. I want to really feel and feed that sadness for a while, not detachedly name and observe the sadness, but fully participate and embrace the grief.
I get that I am probably not at all getting it, this whole point of "living beautifully," but since I don't get it and the central message is not at all resonating for me, it's time to kindly and respectfully thank Chodron for the parts that I could embrace and return the book to the library so it can be read by a more receptive, more Buddhist soul.
October 25, 2017
There is nothing that I can say that can match the beauty of this book. I have read quite a few of Pema's books by now, and this is by far, the most practical of those. Not that the others were impractical, but here Pema is vividly honest, interspersing her own life experiences with many practices that can make the task of living more joyful and utterly simple.
December 28, 2017
เป็นอีกคนที่กลัวการเปลี่ยนแปลงที่เกิดขึ้นในชีวิต ทั้งๆที่ความเปลี่ยนแปลงเป็นสิ่งที่ทุกคนหลีกเลี่ยงไม่ได้ ชอบคำสอนที่ว่า ให้เมตตาตัวเอง ทำเพื่อผู้อื่น และยอมรับทุกอย่างตามความเป็นจริง ให้รู้สึกมากกว่าคิดปรุงแต่ง :)
ชอบเรื่องการติดป้ายให้คนอื่น เรามักคิดว่าคนนั้นเป็นแบบนั้นแบบนี้ จิงมาก
ชอบเรื่องการติดป้ายให้คนอื่น เรามักคิดว่าคนนั้นเป็นแบบนั้นแบบนี้ จิงมาก
October 7, 2018
This book will end up changing my life, in a utility kind of way. I have read, and learned about several of the techniques Pema Chödrön suggests for dealing with the storm constantly beating down on us throughout life, but this time, with her book it means more.
This book will be meaningful to those that are seeking joy, amongst turbulence, but also open minded enough to see that their self made narrative, or adopted narrative will prevent them from moving forward.
I really hesitate to write these reviews, but I would like to at least share one insight I had while reading Living Beautifully. So for those who are here to see why I think this book is good, the following exhausting review is for you :)
In life, spirituality, religion, culture, etc.. humans, and the groups we associate ourselves with, will often come up with strategic outlines, or sometimes allegories to help us deal with the commotion and turbulence that life unyieldingly barrages us. One theory is to build a sturdy foundation. I call this fortress mode. In short, we write our narrative and surround it with a super fortified set of guards and protections so that the world around us can't shatter our story.
The problem with fortress mode, is that we have to have the narrative written before the walls go up. We decide how our life will be, and what is right and wrong, and what the end goal is. This works really well, but I can tell you right now that its very hard to adjust your narrative at that point. Its hard to see whats happening on the outside, and its harder to receive further light and possible new hooks for your story when you no longer have access to the outside. Fortress mode works well for those who "know" they got it all figured out.
Pema Chödrön introduces a context that requires no fortress walls. The concept is beautiful, because it makes us the fortress. It turns us into dancers, who know how to ride the storm, and to not let it pull us under. There is no narrative, and story. The story gets written day by day, and possibilities for new light, and new understanding are readily available. Its focus is to live in the present, and to keep vows, and commitments as sacred, internally.
I love the 2nd commitment, which is known as the Warrior Vow, or Path of the Warrior. This commitment is to help everyone, to heal everything, to be one who is strong enough to run out into the storm, and pull people in under shelter.
As I alluded to earlier though, the real power in Living Beautifully (which is what this book is called, but also what I am calling this philosophy on surviving the storm), is that joy, and happiness is found in everything. In fortress mode, if one of your walls breaks down, and part of your story is altered, it brings great anxiety and pain to try and fix it. No such thing exists when living beautifully. Hard times will beat you down, and seeing the beauty in that moment shapes us more profoundly than any cloistering up tactic of self preservation.
I note, that this is not the first book I have read to speak of this life lens, but it is the first I have read after tearing down my fortress walls, and for that I find it enlightening. I suggest this for those who long for awakening in, and finding the sacred world.
This book will be meaningful to those that are seeking joy, amongst turbulence, but also open minded enough to see that their self made narrative, or adopted narrative will prevent them from moving forward.
I really hesitate to write these reviews, but I would like to at least share one insight I had while reading Living Beautifully. So for those who are here to see why I think this book is good, the following exhausting review is for you :)
In life, spirituality, religion, culture, etc.. humans, and the groups we associate ourselves with, will often come up with strategic outlines, or sometimes allegories to help us deal with the commotion and turbulence that life unyieldingly barrages us. One theory is to build a sturdy foundation. I call this fortress mode. In short, we write our narrative and surround it with a super fortified set of guards and protections so that the world around us can't shatter our story.
The problem with fortress mode, is that we have to have the narrative written before the walls go up. We decide how our life will be, and what is right and wrong, and what the end goal is. This works really well, but I can tell you right now that its very hard to adjust your narrative at that point. Its hard to see whats happening on the outside, and its harder to receive further light and possible new hooks for your story when you no longer have access to the outside. Fortress mode works well for those who "know" they got it all figured out.
Pema Chödrön introduces a context that requires no fortress walls. The concept is beautiful, because it makes us the fortress. It turns us into dancers, who know how to ride the storm, and to not let it pull us under. There is no narrative, and story. The story gets written day by day, and possibilities for new light, and new understanding are readily available. Its focus is to live in the present, and to keep vows, and commitments as sacred, internally.
I love the 2nd commitment, which is known as the Warrior Vow, or Path of the Warrior. This commitment is to help everyone, to heal everything, to be one who is strong enough to run out into the storm, and pull people in under shelter.
As I alluded to earlier though, the real power in Living Beautifully (which is what this book is called, but also what I am calling this philosophy on surviving the storm), is that joy, and happiness is found in everything. In fortress mode, if one of your walls breaks down, and part of your story is altered, it brings great anxiety and pain to try and fix it. No such thing exists when living beautifully. Hard times will beat you down, and seeing the beauty in that moment shapes us more profoundly than any cloistering up tactic of self preservation.
I note, that this is not the first book I have read to speak of this life lens, but it is the first I have read after tearing down my fortress walls, and for that I find it enlightening. I suggest this for those who long for awakening in, and finding the sacred world.
February 9, 2014
Initial reaction: I thought this open approach to mindfulness and meditation was worth the read, but probably a bit redundant if you've read other works in Chodron's bibliography covering the same topic. Still, I appreciated her words and approach in one volume.
Full review:
I'll start this review by saying that I've always appreciated reading Pema Chödrön's inspiring expansions on approaching life and meditation practices. I've read a number of her narratives in the past, so it was with little wonder that I picked up this particular work and found it immersive and a meditation in and of itself. Had me thinking on so many things, but also learning from it in a sphere that's both similar and separate from my own in ideology. Her articulations are sound, and it's easy for someone who may not necessarily be familiar with these Buddhist vows to be understand what they entail and how to put them into practice for inspiration. They're simple messages, but are far more profound in the measure of interpreting and integrating what they mean in one's day-to-day life and understanding the world around them.
The long and short of the aim of this narrative is describing three rules to approaching uncertainty and change (staying grounded) in the present world.
1. Committing to not cause harm
2. Committing to take care of one another
3. Committing to embrace the world as it is
The outline of these three measures compose the bulk of the book, and Chödrön uses each section to articulate what each of these mean in different facets, both in her personal experience as well as applications and expansions beyond. It's a constructive imaging in some measures, and others instructive. I did somewhat read it through a filter as not all of the measures apply to my respective life or ideology, but I learned quite a bit on the part of Buddhist ideals and expansions reading this book and how these three approaches come into place. It is a book that emphasizes becoming more self-aware and realizations made in that spectrum, which is something that I respected.
As far as a meditation measure is concerned, I think there are other narratives of hers that are a little more oriented towards that spectrum, so this wouldn't be my recommendation for an introduction in that scope, but it's still worth reading for the expansion on these ideals in themselves, to get people thinking on the matters presented. I'd say it's more of a supplement to Chödrön's other narratives, and notably powerful in its own way.
Overall score: 3/5 stars
Note: I received this as an ARC from NetGalley, form the publisher Shambhala.
Full review:
I'll start this review by saying that I've always appreciated reading Pema Chödrön's inspiring expansions on approaching life and meditation practices. I've read a number of her narratives in the past, so it was with little wonder that I picked up this particular work and found it immersive and a meditation in and of itself. Had me thinking on so many things, but also learning from it in a sphere that's both similar and separate from my own in ideology. Her articulations are sound, and it's easy for someone who may not necessarily be familiar with these Buddhist vows to be understand what they entail and how to put them into practice for inspiration. They're simple messages, but are far more profound in the measure of interpreting and integrating what they mean in one's day-to-day life and understanding the world around them.
The long and short of the aim of this narrative is describing three rules to approaching uncertainty and change (staying grounded) in the present world.
1. Committing to not cause harm
2. Committing to take care of one another
3. Committing to embrace the world as it is
The outline of these three measures compose the bulk of the book, and Chödrön uses each section to articulate what each of these mean in different facets, both in her personal experience as well as applications and expansions beyond. It's a constructive imaging in some measures, and others instructive. I did somewhat read it through a filter as not all of the measures apply to my respective life or ideology, but I learned quite a bit on the part of Buddhist ideals and expansions reading this book and how these three approaches come into place. It is a book that emphasizes becoming more self-aware and realizations made in that spectrum, which is something that I respected.
As far as a meditation measure is concerned, I think there are other narratives of hers that are a little more oriented towards that spectrum, so this wouldn't be my recommendation for an introduction in that scope, but it's still worth reading for the expansion on these ideals in themselves, to get people thinking on the matters presented. I'd say it's more of a supplement to Chödrön's other narratives, and notably powerful in its own way.
Overall score: 3/5 stars
Note: I received this as an ARC from NetGalley, form the publisher Shambhala.
January 11, 2022
So much wisdom resides in this small book! I could read only a few paragraphs at a time, reflect, journal, and come back another day.
I’ve tried to read “beginner” Buddhism books many times. I couldn’t find clear direction for applying the commitments to real life.
This one does it! Chodron offers very readable, relatable illustrations for living the commitments.
I’ve tried to read “beginner” Buddhism books many times. I couldn’t find clear direction for applying the commitments to real life.
This one does it! Chodron offers very readable, relatable illustrations for living the commitments.
January 28, 2023
if you like this review, i now have website: www.michaelkamakana.com
220923: this is applied buddhism. not having myself practiced ways instructed is the reason this is not five. for it is concise, direct, clear. as applied buddhism it is also psychology- through this Indic tradition. there are essential familiar themes, impermanence, flowing, non-self, non-grasping and so on, that recast our typical human aversion to the ambiguity of being human, that show we must embrace the world 'just as it is'...
we start with the usual three vows (commitments): 1, to not cause harm of any sort 2, to take care of each other 3) embrace the world 'just as it is'. in this way we will see those 'negative' terms of anxiety, groundlessness, uncertainty, are actually 'positive' for 'waking' us to our lives. the commitments become harder, more trying, as they progress, as we move from our own enlightenment to promising enlightenment to all sentient creatures. the third commitment may be the most difficult, as it talks about accepting all sides of experience, with vivid description of the channel house...
220923: this is applied buddhism. not having myself practiced ways instructed is the reason this is not five. for it is concise, direct, clear. as applied buddhism it is also psychology- through this Indic tradition. there are essential familiar themes, impermanence, flowing, non-self, non-grasping and so on, that recast our typical human aversion to the ambiguity of being human, that show we must embrace the world 'just as it is'...
we start with the usual three vows (commitments): 1, to not cause harm of any sort 2, to take care of each other 3) embrace the world 'just as it is'. in this way we will see those 'negative' terms of anxiety, groundlessness, uncertainty, are actually 'positive' for 'waking' us to our lives. the commitments become harder, more trying, as they progress, as we move from our own enlightenment to promising enlightenment to all sentient creatures. the third commitment may be the most difficult, as it talks about accepting all sides of experience, with vivid description of the channel house...
November 16, 2015
زندگی نوعی مطمئن نبودن,بی خبر بودن از نوع وچگونگی اینده است.لحظه ای که به چند و چون ان پی ببرید مرگ تدریجیان شروع میشود.هنرمندان هیچ گاه به طور کامل پی نمیبرند.ما حدس میزنیم.شاید اشتباه کنیم,ولی همچنان بی گدار به اب میزنیم.
روشن فکری مثل شنیدن صدای شیپور یا بوییدن تنباکو برای اولین بار است
ما انسانها هر وقت تشخیص میدهیم که همه چیز در اطرافمان در بی ثباتی به سر میبرد.برای یافتن یقین تلاش میکنیم .انگار در ایام گرفتاری تنش حاصل از تلاش برای یافتن زمین سفت-چیزی قابل پیش بینی و امن که رویش بایستیم-تشدید میشود.ولی در حقیقت ماهیت واقعی وجود ما برای همیشه در حال تغییر است.همه چیز همچنان تغییر میکند.خواه ما از ان اگاه باشیم خواه نباشیم
روشن فکری مثل شنیدن صدای شیپور یا بوییدن تنباکو برای اولین بار است
ما انسانها هر وقت تشخیص میدهیم که همه چیز در اطرافمان در بی ثباتی به سر میبرد.برای یافتن یقین تلاش میکنیم .انگار در ایام گرفتاری تنش حاصل از تلاش برای یافتن زمین سفت-چیزی قابل پیش بینی و امن که رویش بایستیم-تشدید میشود.ولی در حقیقت ماهیت واقعی وجود ما برای همیشه در حال تغییر است.همه چیز همچنان تغییر میکند.خواه ما از ان اگاه باشیم خواه نباشیم
August 21, 2016
There is much to ponder and integrate in this little book. The three main themes are to committing to not cause harm, committing to take care of one another and committing to embrace the world just as it is. It's written in the context of living with uncertainty and change and this would be a good book to go to when our lives hit those bumps in the road.
August 6, 2012
breaking down the path into the 3 commitments:
1) commitment of non-harm
2) for the benefit of others
3) by communicating with the present as it arises
concise, eloquent, inspiring, loving. like spending time with a beloved, wise friend.
1) commitment of non-harm
2) for the benefit of others
3) by communicating with the present as it arises
concise, eloquent, inspiring, loving. like spending time with a beloved, wise friend.
December 15, 2013
This is more focused perhaps than her other works. She is able to impart her wisdom of some similar concepts in completely new ways so that no book seems duplicative to me. Still she promotes tonglen practice more than meitri which always surprises me.
June 4, 2019
Some really great ideas, and a smattering of practical advice. But lots of advice like "Sit with your emotions" - without a whole lot of explanation of what that really means.
January 10, 2023
I already knew Pema Chödrön through another short book. The book "Jan Azadeh" which I myself participated in translating. Pema is an 86-year-old Tibetan Buddhist and an American.
In this book, Pema writes about three obligations. Buddhist guidelines for better living with uncertainty and the "fundamental ambiguity of being human".
Buddha called impermanence one of the three hallmarks of our existence and an indisputable truth of life, but it is something we strongly resist. We imagine if we did this or didn't do that, we could achieve a safe and secure life. Pema's first teacher, Choyam Tronpa, often spoke about the central concern of being human. This anxiety about instability is not something that only affects a few of us, it is a pervasive condition that affects everyone. But what if instead of being disappointed by this ambiguity and instability in life, we accepted it and rested in it?
Buddha said: This impermanence alone is not the cause of our pain and suffering. Rather, the reason is our resistance against the fundamental instability of our situation. Our frustration with all our efforts to put the ground under our feet. When we resist change, this is called suffering.
In Buddhism, the concept of fixed identity is called "self-reliance". In this way, we try to put solid ground under our feet in a changing world. Meditation gradually weakens that fixed identity.
The previous paragraphs define the problem of the book and the rest of the book explains that Buddha has prepared many instructions for this work. Among them are three agreements or three commitments. These three methods are ways to embrace the chaotic, unstable, dynamic and challenging nature of our situation and a path to awakening. (Awakening has a special meaning in the Buddhist tradition.)
1. Pratimoksha Pact
This is a commitment not to cause harm to ourselves or others with our thoughts, words, or actions. Chapters 3 to 5 of the book are about this commitment.
2. The Bodhisattva Pact
A commitment to dedicate our lives to keeping our hearts and minds open and to realize our kindness with the desire to relieve the pain of the people of the world. Chapters 6 to 8 of the book are about this.
3. Samaya Pact
It is a decision to see and accept the world without prejudice and exactly as it is. Chapters 9 and 10 of the book are about this agreement. With this commitment, we agree to be committed to reality. Committed to whatever we perceive in each moment. We have nowhere to go but where we are now. We surrender to life and cope with all the sights, sounds, smells, tastes and thoughts and people we encounter.
But what does living through commitment mean? Commitment, as a dictionary says, is an obligation. In Tibetan Buddhism, the meaning and concept of living with commitment is more than simply acting or not acting. When we make a promise, we clearly define our intention and we know what we are making a promise to do or not to do. That is why it is so powerful. For example, making a vow not to kill is more powerful than simply not killing.
When we recognize that we have broken these commitments, instead of blaming ourselves, instead of planting the seeds of judgment and contempt, let us plant the seeds of strength, trust, and affection.
I also found this quote interesting. Dogen, the master of Zen, said: "Knowing yourself means forgetting yourself, forgetting yourself means that everything enlightens and informs us."
I loved reading this book and I think it might be insightful for my friends too.
In this book, Pema writes about three obligations. Buddhist guidelines for better living with uncertainty and the "fundamental ambiguity of being human".
Buddha called impermanence one of the three hallmarks of our existence and an indisputable truth of life, but it is something we strongly resist. We imagine if we did this or didn't do that, we could achieve a safe and secure life. Pema's first teacher, Choyam Tronpa, often spoke about the central concern of being human. This anxiety about instability is not something that only affects a few of us, it is a pervasive condition that affects everyone. But what if instead of being disappointed by this ambiguity and instability in life, we accepted it and rested in it?
Buddha said: This impermanence alone is not the cause of our pain and suffering. Rather, the reason is our resistance against the fundamental instability of our situation. Our frustration with all our efforts to put the ground under our feet. When we resist change, this is called suffering.
In Buddhism, the concept of fixed identity is called "self-reliance". In this way, we try to put solid ground under our feet in a changing world. Meditation gradually weakens that fixed identity.
The previous paragraphs define the problem of the book and the rest of the book explains that Buddha has prepared many instructions for this work. Among them are three agreements or three commitments. These three methods are ways to embrace the chaotic, unstable, dynamic and challenging nature of our situation and a path to awakening. (Awakening has a special meaning in the Buddhist tradition.)
1. Pratimoksha Pact
This is a commitment not to cause harm to ourselves or others with our thoughts, words, or actions. Chapters 3 to 5 of the book are about this commitment.
2. The Bodhisattva Pact
A commitment to dedicate our lives to keeping our hearts and minds open and to realize our kindness with the desire to relieve the pain of the people of the world. Chapters 6 to 8 of the book are about this.
3. Samaya Pact
It is a decision to see and accept the world without prejudice and exactly as it is. Chapters 9 and 10 of the book are about this agreement. With this commitment, we agree to be committed to reality. Committed to whatever we perceive in each moment. We have nowhere to go but where we are now. We surrender to life and cope with all the sights, sounds, smells, tastes and thoughts and people we encounter.
But what does living through commitment mean? Commitment, as a dictionary says, is an obligation. In Tibetan Buddhism, the meaning and concept of living with commitment is more than simply acting or not acting. When we make a promise, we clearly define our intention and we know what we are making a promise to do or not to do. That is why it is so powerful. For example, making a vow not to kill is more powerful than simply not killing.
When we recognize that we have broken these commitments, instead of blaming ourselves, instead of planting the seeds of judgment and contempt, let us plant the seeds of strength, trust, and affection.
I also found this quote interesting. Dogen, the master of Zen, said: "Knowing yourself means forgetting yourself, forgetting yourself means that everything enlightens and informs us."
I loved reading this book and I think it might be insightful for my friends too.
February 14, 2018
A wonderful and comforting book for pretty much anybody. Chodron reminds us to stay present and be open; don't cling to your preconceived notions of anything. Breathe in suffering and pain, and out comfort and joy. Uncertainty is a welcome teacher. #bookworm #bookstagram #livingbeautifully
December 7, 2018
Wow wow wow. I can not recommend this book highly enough. Favorite recommendation: if you’re entering into an emotionally challenging situation, be present, feel your heart, and engage in the next moment without agenda. I will definitely reread this one!
February 14, 2021
It is liberating and eye opening
Blindfolded I felt as I was reading this book, page by page my eyes were opened and I was liberated of this blindfold. Seeing and living life, as it is, is the journey to wellbeing of oneself and others.
Blindfolded I felt as I was reading this book, page by page my eyes were opened and I was liberated of this blindfold. Seeing and living life, as it is, is the journey to wellbeing of oneself and others.
September 4, 2023
Good Tibetan Buddhist teachings.
Pema Chödrön was clear and relatable. I found a lot of the ideas were applicable for everyone — even the less spiritual such as myself.
I did think some of the anecdotes were a stretch. Talking about extremes never really proves a point, and I think it undermined her message towards the end.
The book can also get a little repetitive, but it just reinforces the main themes and ideas.
It honestly was a nice refresh for the beginning of the semester.
Pema Chödrön was clear and relatable. I found a lot of the ideas were applicable for everyone — even the less spiritual such as myself.
I did think some of the anecdotes were a stretch. Talking about extremes never really proves a point, and I think it undermined her message towards the end.
The book can also get a little repetitive, but it just reinforces the main themes and ideas.
It honestly was a nice refresh for the beginning of the semester.
September 3, 2024
Perfection. I felt at peace with the fundamental
ambiguity of being human whenever I opened it.
ambiguity of being human whenever I opened it.
August 30, 2016
Buddhist Pema Chödrön offers inspiring, down-to-earth advice for those of any or no religion on dealing constructively with the human condition. The book centers on three traditional Buddhist vows – to do no harm, to do good, and to see the world as it is – which aren’t about being moral but “about opening ourselves to a vaster perspective and changing at the core.” To make this change we need to be honest and kind with ourselves while confronting our mental and emotional habits: “Buddhism holds that the true nature of the mind is as vast as the sky and that thoughts and emotions are like clouds that, from our vantage point, obscure it…. The thoughts and emotions may make it difficult for us to contact the openness of our minds, but they’re like old friends who have accompanied us for as long as we can remember, and we’re very resistant to saying good-bye” to them. Together, the three vows help people contact their vaster self and its fundamental goodness.
The first vow, to do no harm, involves refraining from (not repressing or denying) particular harmful actions, but Pema explores a more profound aspect: “The commitment is to refrain from speech and action that would be harmful to others and then to make friends with the underlying feelings that motivate us to do harm in the first place.” To control speech and actions we must be aware of the thoughts and feelings behind them. Meditation and other mindfulness practices keep awareness in the present moment and let us observe our thoughts and feelings without identifying with them. Practicing letting go of the mind’s contents when calm helps later in upsetting situations. Neurologically emotions last only about ninety seconds; when they last longer we are re-energizing them with our thoughts about what happened. With mindfulness we can learn to stop feeding these feelings.
The second vow, to do good, puts us on the bodhisattva or warrior path, which requires the cultivation of courage, empathy and love. Consciously opening up to the world’s pain – the pain of those we like, those we don’t like, and those we don’t notice or will never meet – in order to relieve it requires strength, fearlessness and determination: “Compassion is threatening to the ego. We might think of it as something warm and soothing, but actually it’s very raw. When we set out to support other beings, when we go so far as to stand in their shoes, when we aspire to never close down to anyone, we quickly find ourselves in the uncomfortable territory of ‘life not on my terms’.” Compassion isn’t the strong pitying or supporting the weak, but a relationship of mutual support between equals.
The practice offered for this vow is breathing in the pain of others and then breathing out relief. This counteracts the human tendency to take in relief and give out or reject pain. The author also suggests that when we realize we’ve closed down or are beginning to lose it, we come back into the present, getting in touch with our body, mind and feelings; feel our heart, “literally placing your hand on your chest if you find that helpful,” accepting yourself as you are right then; and then “go into the next moment without any agenda,” opening to the person or situation in front of you and dropping the storyline you were telling yourself about it.
The third vow, to embrace the world just as it is, means “to develop a complete acceptance and openness to all situations and emotions, and to all people, experiencing everything totally without mental reservations and blockages, so that one never withdraws and centralizes into oneself…. being completely present and open to all sights, all sounds, all thoughts – never withdrawing, never hiding, never needing to jazz them up or tone them down.” As we become less self-absorbed, less attached to a vision of who we are, and less controlled by our fearful ego, we begin to see our opinions and vision of things as simply our opinions and visions. Instead of dread or a need to control, we develop curiosity.
Everyone is bound to break the three vows over and over. Each time we do, we start again from wherever we are and reaffirm the vow. “Together, the three commitments form the education of the warrior. On the warrior path, we train in never turning away from our experience. And when we do turn away, it’s based on being able to discriminate between turning away because we know we can’t handle something at the moment and turning away because we don’t want to feel what we’re feeling, don’t want to feel our vulnerability. But we don’t develop this discrimination all at once. We get there inch by inch, moment by moment, step by step, working with our heart and mind.” This book is an excellent aid on this path to becoming more fully human.
The first vow, to do no harm, involves refraining from (not repressing or denying) particular harmful actions, but Pema explores a more profound aspect: “The commitment is to refrain from speech and action that would be harmful to others and then to make friends with the underlying feelings that motivate us to do harm in the first place.” To control speech and actions we must be aware of the thoughts and feelings behind them. Meditation and other mindfulness practices keep awareness in the present moment and let us observe our thoughts and feelings without identifying with them. Practicing letting go of the mind’s contents when calm helps later in upsetting situations. Neurologically emotions last only about ninety seconds; when they last longer we are re-energizing them with our thoughts about what happened. With mindfulness we can learn to stop feeding these feelings.
The second vow, to do good, puts us on the bodhisattva or warrior path, which requires the cultivation of courage, empathy and love. Consciously opening up to the world’s pain – the pain of those we like, those we don’t like, and those we don’t notice or will never meet – in order to relieve it requires strength, fearlessness and determination: “Compassion is threatening to the ego. We might think of it as something warm and soothing, but actually it’s very raw. When we set out to support other beings, when we go so far as to stand in their shoes, when we aspire to never close down to anyone, we quickly find ourselves in the uncomfortable territory of ‘life not on my terms’.” Compassion isn’t the strong pitying or supporting the weak, but a relationship of mutual support between equals.
The practice offered for this vow is breathing in the pain of others and then breathing out relief. This counteracts the human tendency to take in relief and give out or reject pain. The author also suggests that when we realize we’ve closed down or are beginning to lose it, we come back into the present, getting in touch with our body, mind and feelings; feel our heart, “literally placing your hand on your chest if you find that helpful,” accepting yourself as you are right then; and then “go into the next moment without any agenda,” opening to the person or situation in front of you and dropping the storyline you were telling yourself about it.
The third vow, to embrace the world just as it is, means “to develop a complete acceptance and openness to all situations and emotions, and to all people, experiencing everything totally without mental reservations and blockages, so that one never withdraws and centralizes into oneself…. being completely present and open to all sights, all sounds, all thoughts – never withdrawing, never hiding, never needing to jazz them up or tone them down.” As we become less self-absorbed, less attached to a vision of who we are, and less controlled by our fearful ego, we begin to see our opinions and vision of things as simply our opinions and visions. Instead of dread or a need to control, we develop curiosity.
Everyone is bound to break the three vows over and over. Each time we do, we start again from wherever we are and reaffirm the vow. “Together, the three commitments form the education of the warrior. On the warrior path, we train in never turning away from our experience. And when we do turn away, it’s based on being able to discriminate between turning away because we know we can’t handle something at the moment and turning away because we don’t want to feel what we’re feeling, don’t want to feel our vulnerability. But we don’t develop this discrimination all at once. We get there inch by inch, moment by moment, step by step, working with our heart and mind.” This book is an excellent aid on this path to becoming more fully human.
October 5, 2012
Book Review: Pema Chodron’s “Living Beautifully with Uncertainty and Change”
Pema Chödrön is my go to for books that both kick me in the rump and provide that warmbelly feeling after eating a nice bowl of soup on a cold winter day. How can it feel both good and bad at the same time? How can it be like medicine that burns going down but yet helps to soothe? Well that’s just Pema’s teachings. They’re like that.
Based on a series of talks delivered at Gampo Abbey in 2009 during a winter retreat, the material in the book centers around how we as laypeople can work with The Three Vows (Pratimoksha, Boddhisattva and Samaya). Before you start to get freaked out about the word ‘vows’ and envision running off to a cave with a freshly shaved head, the book treats these in a very general way rather than in the depth that one studying and making a commitment to the dharma would pursue with their teacher.The vows are viewed as a way to work with our lives and to provide us with an opportunity to wake up and be more gentle with ourselves and others. If you wish to go further than what this book touches upon, then ‘consult a licensed spiritual teacher.’
Much of Pema Chödrön’s teachings (to those unfamiliar with her) touch upon the themes of being human, suffering, clinging, ego and the level of solidity that we expect from our birthright, only to be met with the confusion and pain that comes when that solidness escapes us.She works to help untangle the confusion that comes from being born into the human realm such as uncertainty and impermanence and uses her own experiences as a nun, teacher, student and human being to illustrate the points within the book. Within ‘Living Beautifuly’, she presents the Three Vows as the instructions that can help us to awaken from this confusion.
In a nutshell, the vows relate to different methods and areas of focus to help work with ourselves and navigate in our world and link with the Three Vehicles of Hinayana, Mahayana and Vajrayana and are as follows:
Pratimoksha Vow: This vow relates to the commitments around personal liberation and not causing harm via words or actions.
Bodhisattva Vow: This vow moves towards helping others and working to ease the suffering of all sentient beings.
Samaya Vow: This vow centers around the mission to take the world as it is, without any duality or bias and to see all around us as ‘awakened energy’.
The book is chock full of guidance and good advice and digs deep into feelings and emotions and how the vows can help us to untether from the usual storylines we find ourselves embroiled in. The advice provided isn’t heavy handed or relating to a moral code of good and bad, but conveys principles centered around living in a decent manner that is sane for ourselves and for those around us. Take it or leave it.
It’s hard work to break out of ingrained patterns built up over time, but these vows provide the architecture for building a foundation for sanity and a life free from perpetual torment and confusion. The Eight Worldly Concerns are also mentioned in the book and hook into these teachings quite well on how the vows can guide us from being at the whims of such emotions, feelings and distractions. Many exercises, practices and overall bits of good advice are mentioned within the book as well as quotes and teachings from Pema’s teachers.
Considering the author has put out numerous books, audio and video teachings, to a seasoned Pema fangirl like myself, some of the material is a bit repetitive (ie: teachings on breathing, meditation, tonglen), but there is enough meat within to have kept me captivated regardless.
“Living Beautifully with Uncertainty and Change” is a good gateway guide to Buddhist teachings on the Three Vows and provide a framework for how we can work with our minds, let go and break from our habitual tendencies. While it may seem daunting, knowing that we can work on this and seeing that bit by bit, we’re able to generate awareness and lead more compassionate lives.
Pema Chödrön is my go to for books that both kick me in the rump and provide that warmbelly feeling after eating a nice bowl of soup on a cold winter day. How can it feel both good and bad at the same time? How can it be like medicine that burns going down but yet helps to soothe? Well that’s just Pema’s teachings. They’re like that.
Based on a series of talks delivered at Gampo Abbey in 2009 during a winter retreat, the material in the book centers around how we as laypeople can work with The Three Vows (Pratimoksha, Boddhisattva and Samaya). Before you start to get freaked out about the word ‘vows’ and envision running off to a cave with a freshly shaved head, the book treats these in a very general way rather than in the depth that one studying and making a commitment to the dharma would pursue with their teacher.The vows are viewed as a way to work with our lives and to provide us with an opportunity to wake up and be more gentle with ourselves and others. If you wish to go further than what this book touches upon, then ‘consult a licensed spiritual teacher.’
Much of Pema Chödrön’s teachings (to those unfamiliar with her) touch upon the themes of being human, suffering, clinging, ego and the level of solidity that we expect from our birthright, only to be met with the confusion and pain that comes when that solidness escapes us.She works to help untangle the confusion that comes from being born into the human realm such as uncertainty and impermanence and uses her own experiences as a nun, teacher, student and human being to illustrate the points within the book. Within ‘Living Beautifuly’, she presents the Three Vows as the instructions that can help us to awaken from this confusion.
In a nutshell, the vows relate to different methods and areas of focus to help work with ourselves and navigate in our world and link with the Three Vehicles of Hinayana, Mahayana and Vajrayana and are as follows:
Pratimoksha Vow: This vow relates to the commitments around personal liberation and not causing harm via words or actions.
Bodhisattva Vow: This vow moves towards helping others and working to ease the suffering of all sentient beings.
Samaya Vow: This vow centers around the mission to take the world as it is, without any duality or bias and to see all around us as ‘awakened energy’.
The book is chock full of guidance and good advice and digs deep into feelings and emotions and how the vows can help us to untether from the usual storylines we find ourselves embroiled in. The advice provided isn’t heavy handed or relating to a moral code of good and bad, but conveys principles centered around living in a decent manner that is sane for ourselves and for those around us. Take it or leave it.
It’s hard work to break out of ingrained patterns built up over time, but these vows provide the architecture for building a foundation for sanity and a life free from perpetual torment and confusion. The Eight Worldly Concerns are also mentioned in the book and hook into these teachings quite well on how the vows can guide us from being at the whims of such emotions, feelings and distractions. Many exercises, practices and overall bits of good advice are mentioned within the book as well as quotes and teachings from Pema’s teachers.
Considering the author has put out numerous books, audio and video teachings, to a seasoned Pema fangirl like myself, some of the material is a bit repetitive (ie: teachings on breathing, meditation, tonglen), but there is enough meat within to have kept me captivated regardless.
“Living Beautifully with Uncertainty and Change” is a good gateway guide to Buddhist teachings on the Three Vows and provide a framework for how we can work with our minds, let go and break from our habitual tendencies. While it may seem daunting, knowing that we can work on this and seeing that bit by bit, we’re able to generate awareness and lead more compassionate lives.
December 28, 2022
A must-read for anyone. Pema Chödrön writes these Buddhist ideas in an accessible manner and thus allows for easy adoption for life-changing practices.
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