Keith R.A. DeCandido > Quotes

“Dean, you've been to Hell, I started the Apocalypse, and we're supposed to be possessed by an archangel and the devil. Now you're being skeptical?”
― Keith R. A. DeCandido, Heart of the Dragon

“Dad had this story. A Marine and a Navy guy walk into a bathroom together. They both take a piss, and then sailor goes to the sink. The Marine heads for the door, and the sailor says, "Hey- in the Navy they teach us to wash up after we take a leak." And the Marine turns around and says, "Yeah? Well, in the Marines they teach us not to piss on our hands.”
― Keith R.A. DeCandido, Nevermore

“What kind of a house doesn't have salt? Low sodium freaks!”
― Keith R.A. DeCandido, Nevermore

“Needle in a haystack's easy - just bring a magnet."

Eliot stared witheringly at Hardison. "You take the poetry out of everything."

"Says the man who'd just punch the haystack.”
― Keith R.A. DeCandido, The Zoo Job

“No, he focused on the one thing that he knew would keep him grounded the way the demon said he'd need to be.
"Take your brother outside as fast as you can - don't look back. Now, Dean, go!"
Sam's not dying. Not on my watch. You protect your family no matter what.
I'm coming for you, Sammy. Just hold tight.
And don't look back.
He opened his eyes. Behind him, he could hear Kat's voice muttering an incantation in a language he didn't recognize. It wasn't Latin, certainly. Since it was demon magic, it was probably some language that was even more dead than Latin.
The chanting stopped.
Dean screamed.”
― Keith R.A. DeCandido, Bone Key

“The beginning of wisdom is the statement 'I do not know'. The person who cannot make that statement is one who will never learn anything.”
― Keith R.A. DeCandido, Cycle of Hatred

“Age of the geek, baby!”
― Keith R.A. DeCandido, The Zoo Job

“The world tells us what we need to know when we are ready to know it and not before. That's the way of things.”
― Keith R.A. DeCandido, Cycle of Hatred

“And the next time Ash needs a favor, he can go bite me.”
― Keith R.A. DeCandido, Nevermore

“... I'd rather be prepared for one we don't have to fight than not be prepared for one we have to.”
― Keith R.A. DeCandido, Cycle of Hatred

“Dude, you are not equating being on that lame-ass Star Search wannabe show with hosting American Bandstand, are you?”
― Keith R.A. DeCandido, Bone Key

“The beginning of wisdom is the statement 'I don't know'. The person who cannot make that statement is one who will never learn anything.”
― Keith R.A. DeCandido

“Life was, in fact, cheap.
If life was such a glorious, magnificent, wonderful thing, then it wouldn't be so easy to take it away.
If life was a great gift, then he wouldn't be able to kill a fellow human being with one hand...”
― Keith R.A. DeCandido

“The trick is to recognize the flaw in yourself and work to correct it.”
― Keith R.A. DeCandido, Cycle of Hatred

“What is that *smell*?"

Eliot shook his head. "I keep telling you, it's fresh air.”
― Keith R.A. DeCandido, The Zoo Job

“I can follow pretty much every programming language out there, I can make a two-hundred-year-old diary out of some really nasty ingredients, I can even make sense out of the instruction booklets that come with IKEA furniture, but I can*not* make heads or tails of this nonsense right here.”
― Keith R.A. DeCandido, The Zoo Job

“You're not mutation, you are evolution.”
― DeCandido Keith R. A.

“Who's the genius who thought replacing Dick Clark with Ryan Seacrest was a good idea?”
― Keith R.A. DeCandido, Bone Key

“He was convinced that the purse was like that stupid phone booth thing on that TV show Hardison liked: bigger on the inside than the outside.”
― Keith R.A. DeCandido, The Zoo Job

“She's one you *really* care about, isn't she?"

Eliot shook his head. "How can you read other people so well, and completely misread me?"

Frowning, Sophie asked, "What do you mean?"

Looking right into her eyes, Eliot said, "I care about *all* of them.”
― Keith R.A. DeCandido, The Zoo Job

“Back when he was a kid, about eleven years old, he used to go looking for cars that had “No Radio in Car” signs on them. He’d take a removable radio, of a type that was very popular at the time, and throw it as hard as he could at the car window with a note wrapped around it that read, now you have one.”
― Keith R.A. DeCandido

“He never feared anything again.
Because he knew the secret.
Life was cheap.”
― DeCandido Keith R. A.

“You people did a good thing."

"That's what we do," Nate said quietly.”
― Keith R.A. DeCandido, The Zoo Job

“Love. You can learn all the math in the ’verse, but you take a boat in the air you don’t love, she’ll shake you off just as sure as the turning of worlds. Love keeps her in the air when she oughtta fall down, tells you she’s hurting ’fore she keens. Makes her a home.”
― Keith R.A. DeCandido, Serenity

“I’m afraid any plans you have to kill him will have to wait—I believe he is the only person on the ship who can handle the maneuvering properly.” Klag grinned. “Pity, that.” “It’s all part of my cunning plan,” Leskit drawled from the pilot’s station. “I’m trying to make myself indispensable.” “Some of us would settle for useful,” Klag said,”
― Keith R.A. DeCandido, Honor Bound

“Then the image came back into his head. His wife Mary, pinned to the ceiling, blood pooling outward from her stomach, fire surrounding and consuming her.”
― Keith R.A. DeCandido, Heart of the Dragon

“Of course, you won't confirm or deny it, which means I'm probably right, since if I was wrong, you'd be gloating about it.”
― Keith R.A. DeCandido, The Zoo Job

“You get to help people in ways that I can't even imagine. Hell, *you get to help people.*”
― Keith R.A. DeCandido, The Zoo Job

“Did we accidentally hang a sign on the city gates that reads, 'please invade’?”
― Keith R.A. DeCandido, Marvel Thor: Dueling with Giants

“Dad had this story. A Marine and a Navy guy walk into a bathroom together. They both take a piss, and then the sailor goes to the sink. The Marine heads for the door, and the sailor says, ‘Hey—in the Navy they teach us to wash up after we take a leak.’ And the Marine turns around and says, ‘Yeah? Well, in the Marines they teach us not to piss on our hands.”
― Keith R.A. DeCandido, Nevermore