OK, Je suis ici to review this controversial book that has been a hot item to many who hope to better their relationship with opposite gender. My verdOK, Je suis ici to review this controversial book that has been a hot item to many who hope to better their relationship with opposite gender. My verdict: Yes, it will if you open your mind on what it has to say. Reading the book does not mean that one entirely agrees with it.
It is due to misunderstandings of our biological differences that we often get into conflicts with the opposite gender. Familiar examples:
1. Link of love and sex in brain: Woman: "You slept with her, do you love her?" Man: "It's just carnal. It has no meaning and I don't love her." Woman: "Really! F*cktard liar, I hate you!" :D (no don't say that XD)
2. My dad and I started a beautiful morning, casual conversation: Me: "dad we have to do this and that, (shift topic) you know that thing about yesterday? (shift topic) Wait I have to go to the grocery, (shift topic) Ah let's just abort all those plans. Dad: "Why do you talk about different things? You are ruining my day ! Im having headache listening to you." Me: Whoa! @.@ Why?..When I talk to mom and she talks about dozens of different things, I don't get mad...
3. The mind-reading/sensitivity skills: Woman: Why can't you sense that I'm mad? Man: I am not a mind reader. :DD
In a nutshell, all these has been a product of our unconscious expectation on the other gender to behave according to our standards and defy the his/her nature. It's like complaining about the rain and kept cursing that it shouldn't rain. It is given that men and women are different. Part of each gender are made by nature and the other part being honed through nurture (culture, upbringing, environment, etc.)- an important cornerstone of our understanding on how different we are, but that's just the basic.
I have read a lot of negative reactions about this book being sexist, and notorious in generalizations. Again, the book talks about average men and woman in biological standpoint. Be warned that there are parts when it is indeed sexist and you can confirmed that from some pages of the book. One is in the epilogue "the world will be a safer place if every nation's leader is a woman" because they are gifted in sensing non verbal behaviors and predict outcomes. This is simply overestimating women's abilities and at the same time, underestimating men's. War of the worlds, which is a political phenomenon that leaders have to deal with, doesn't involve just peace-talking and reading body language. Unfortunately, It sometimes involve facing violence which requires higher aptitude in formulating strategy for defense or offense, combative skill, and in other fields which feed on spatial ability and testosterone level. (This is not being sexist but just look at the obvious majority of men in the army. Men's aggression and spatial level best fit in battle while women, being left at home, have high estrogen level that makes her the a natural nurturer and healer. )
It will be unpleasant to wake up one day that both women and men are so similar that they don't feel the need for each other or co-operation.
I will still recommend this book about gender differences. Disregarding the numbers and figures which I have doubts about. Most of advice and observations there are often self-evident that don't need thorough scientific explanations. We are just preoccupied of other matters that its significance in our lives are obscured and neglected.
Give it a try and pick up which are beneficial to you and leave those that aren't. After all, it isn't labelled as scientific treatise. It's still a great book for understanding differences and has good advice on nurturing romantic relationships.
ending skit: I find it somehow cute to see how men are different from women. "But how would I know? I can't read minds!" :DD other than if those frequent differences are becoming a problem already, then read something like this before you yell: "I've had enough. He's just too different" (of course...)...more
This book is all about effectively taking charge in a conversation, to maintain a peaceful air while discussing very sensitive matters. Start with 'on This book is all about effectively taking charge in a conversation, to maintain a peaceful air while discussing very sensitive matters. Start with 'oneself', the only thing that can be under perfect control.
Some of best lines from this book to live by:
1.taking charge of one's emotion most especially in critical situations that may influence important relationships.
2. assess the sensitivity of the discussion and as soon as it is found to be complex and a dangerous one, remember that to show the best of behavior and not be taken away by away emotions and our intense nature to either "flight or fight" in what is perceived by the limbic system to be a threat or attack.
3. Poorly communicating differences in opinion can damage relationships. Everybody does have different opinions (naturally) we can't expect everybody to believe in the same way we do BUT ITS HOW YOU ARGUE THAT MATTERS. Focus on emphasizing similarity first rather than differences.
4. there are three types of people that one will encounter in Critical Conversation moments: (1)attacker: those who diverse into threats, power play and name calling (2). the runaway or the mute: Some revert to silent fuming or simply withhold information (3)Effective conversationalists: speaks honestly, openly and effectively.
I have learned a lot from this book. I admit that I used to be rather reserved and unable to clearly explain my thoughts. This has lead to people frequently misunderstanding me. When flame starts up, I would go back to my shell and never bother explaining further OR I would end up flooding the other person of my explanations (polite way)that don't make sense to them and even provoking because they were angry. This I have learned how healthy it is to let people have their break. I have always thought that if I react calmly, the other person mirrors me automatically :P...Well, clearly every individual have their own unique way of handling their emotions, the matter just gets worse on how we react to it. ...more
One line. If you don't listen with your full concentration activated, Jung can drive you insane.
No, just half kidding. I was serious for only about 40One line. If you don't listen with your full concentration activated, Jung can drive you insane.
No, just half kidding. I was serious for only about 40%. It also depends on one's comprehension on this particular subject.
I would not recommend this book for non-Jung scholars as he is a non-linear thinker and has a tendency to coin terms to a particular phenomenon to abbreviate definitions to one word. All throughout the book he would use his own terms and if you aren't quite quick and focused on his thoughts, you might find yourself completely lost halfway the book. You're like in a maze of his thoughts and going on a puzzle on your every turn to get to the next level.
Or was I simply a total amateur, a first-timer on Jung's works? Yes, maybe yet I have never encountered book that whose author thinks like webs over webs of thoughts that it gave me headache. I would suggest reading the book rather than listening to audiobook which I did. If you want to take this seriously, you should be able to highlight important points
Nevertheless, Carl Jungs exceptional mind in analysis masterfully delved into primitive history of human thinking, of the ancient symbols that have been embedded in the minds of generations to generations. he explained how humans collective unconscious invented a psychic language based on symbols that manifest in dreams.
I admit that I am not fully convinced with all of Carl Jung's findings especially that have not read any other of his works which is related to symbolism and dreams. I'll further improve this review after I do a take two :P ...more
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