Richard Osman Quotes

“It was a well-known fact that there were no calories in homemade cakes.”
― Richard Osman, The Thursday Murder Club

“The sun is up, the skies are blue, and murder is in the air”
― Richard Osman, The Thursday Murder Club

“He always found it easy to wake up in the morning; he just found it hard to sleep at night”
― Richard Osman, The Thursday Murder Club

“They can take me as they find me,' says Ron. 'I've earned this face, it tells a story.”
― Richard Osman, The Bullet That Missed

“If you don't cry sometimes, you'll end up crying all the time”
― Richard Osman, The Thursday Murder Club

“Todos tenemos una historia triste, pero no vamos por ahí matando a
la gente.”
― Richard Osman, The Thursday Murder Club

“La gente que nunca se pierde no ha viajado nunca a ningún sitio interesante.”
― Richard Osman, The Man Who Died Twice

“He buys three other books too, because he wants the bookshop still to be there when he comes back next week.”
― Richard Osman, The Man Who Died Twice

“The photograph of Ibrahim, Eric Mason and Eric's grandson was in a special file Ibrahim kept at home. A file filled with mementos, not too many, all reminding Ibrahim why he loved his job. The file is the only one on Ibrahim's shelves that isn't kept in strict alphabetical order. Because sometimes you had to remember that life wasn't always arranged in alphabetical order, however much you would like it to be.”
― Richard Osman, The Man Who Died Twice

“[...] but blowing a man's head off from four feet away probably doesn't suit everyone. It wouldn't suit me, and it doesn't suit Poppy. Actually, perhaps it would suit me? You never know until you try, do you? I never thought I would like dark chocolate, for example.”
― Richard Osman, The Man Who Died Twice

“Yes, you never know when you might need pictures of corpses,' agrees Bogdan.”
― Richard Osman, The Man Who Died Twice

“Wonderful. Now what was I doing, dear?'
'Playing chess with Bogdan.'
'Oh, good. He made me scrambled eggs. And he gave Ron cocaine. What a champ. I'll get back to him. [...]”
― Richard Osman, The Man Who Died Twice

“Ibrahim presses play, and they all watch as the figure in the motorcycle helmet walks down the row of lockers and stops in front of 531. The figure inserts a key.
'Looks like he's having trouble with the lock too,' says Joyce.
'Or she,' says Ron. Ibrahim notes that Ron is getting much sharper on his gender neutrality.”
― Richard Osman, The Man Who Died Twice

“More women are murdering people these days,' says Joyce. 'If you ignore the context, it is a real sign of progress.”
― Richard Osman, The Man Who Died Twice

“Ron's mouth opens, but, unusually for him, no words come out.”
― Richard Osman, The Bullet That Missed

“Hmm. Is this Bogdan's downside? He's a serial murderer? That would be tough to overlook. Not impossible though, given those shoulders.”
― Richard Osman, The Bullet That Missed

“Oh, I didn't fall in love with him,' says Joyce. 'Nothing like that. I just walked into a room and there he was, and he looked at me, and I looked at him, and that's all there was to it. Like I had always been in love with him, no falling necessary. Like finding the perfect pair of shoes.”
― Richard Osman, The Bullet That Missed

“But, however tempting it is to kill people, it is also bad.
And difficult.”
― Richard Osman, The Bullet That Missed

“Do you know Donna arrested someone on Christmas Day?' Joyce tells Mervyn. 'I didn't know you could do that.
'What was it?' asks Ron. 'Reindeer rustling?'
'Soliciting a sexual act,' says Donna.
'At Christmas,' says Joyce, shaking her head. 'You'd think people would be too full.”
― Richard Osman, The Last Devil to Die

“And I know what you're thinking, but, again, he's not my type. I wish that he was.”
― Richard Osman, The Last Devil to Die

“I had invited him to mine - there was more than enough goose to go around - but he said he doesn't really buy into Christmas. It's too sentimental. It's worth noting, though, that when he came over to take Alan for a walk, he was wearing a Santa hat.”
― Richard Osman, The Last Devil to Die

“His authentic indifference seems to delight them.”
― Richard Osman, The Last Devil to Die

“I love you,' he says. Because what else is there to say?”
― Richard Osman, The Last Devil to Die

“Sure,' says Ron. 'She wants to kill me. Bake her some scones.”
― Richard Osman, The Last Devil to Die

“If he doesn't ride in on a motorbike, I shall be very disappointed.”
― Richard Osman, The Last Devil to Die

“I think Psychopaths wear lipstick too,' says Joyce.”
― Richard Osman, The Last Devil to Die

“But from the moment he had pointed his gun at her they both knew it was love.”
― Richard Osman, The Last Devil to Die

“I will cling, kicking and screaming, to every second life has in store for me. I want the full picture, for good or for ill.”
― Richard Osman, The Last Devil to Die

“Elizabeth lies on the bed and wonders how a broken heart can beat so fast.”
― Richard Osman, The Last Devil to Die

“He will not be out-machoed.”
― Richard Osman, The Last Devil to Die