Dildo Quotes (10 quotes)

“This signior is sound, safe, ready, and dumb
As ever was candle, carrot, or thumb;
Then away with these nasty devices, and show
How you rate the just merits of Signior Dildo.”
― John Wilmot, The Complete Poems

tags: candle, carrot, dildo, thumb

10 likes

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“A man cannot really be called (sexually) confident if he has never bought his woman a vibrator.”
― Mokokoma Mokhonoana, On Masturbation: A Satirical Essay

tags: aids, arrogance, arrogant, bj, blow-job, church, confidence, confident, cunnilingus, dildo, dildoes, essay, essays, fake, family, family-planning, fellatio, health, hiv, hiv-aids, hiv-and-aids, humor, humour, marriage, masturbate, masturbation, onanism, orgasm, orgasms, pleasure, pretense, relationships, religion, satire, self-abuse, self-love, sex, sexuality, sexy-humor, vibrator, vibrators, wedding

10 likes

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“Some people are so sexually unattractive that the thought of masturbating turns them off.”
― Mokokoma Mokhonoana, On Masturbation: A Satirical Essay

tags: aids, bj, blow-job, church, cunnilingus, dildo, dildoes, essay, essays, fake, family, family-planning, fellatio, health, hiv, hiv-aids, hiv-and-aids, humor, humour, marriage, masturbate, masturbation, onanism, orgasm, orgasms, pleasure, pretense, relationships, religion, saire, self-abuse, self-love, self-love-quotes, sex, sex-appeal, sexuality, sexy-humor, turn-off, turn-on, ugly, vibrator, vibrators, wedding

6 likes

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“At worst, she kept him around so he could make her feel better when she needed it, a winning combination of a pet and a dildo.”
― Aleksandar Hemon, The Making of Zombie Wars

tags: dildo, pet

1 likes

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“The intensity of the pleasure derived from an orgasm is compensation for its brevity.”
― Mokokoma Mokhonoana

tags: adult-shop, brevity, dildo, masturbation, orgasm, orgasms, sex, sex-toys, sexual-pleasure, vibrators

1 likes

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“In this day and age, it is hard for a saint to trust the cucumber.”
― Michael Bassey Johnson, Song of a Nature Lover

tags: 21st-century, cucumber, cucumbers, dildo, fruit, generation-z, masturbate, masturbation, saint, saints

1 likes

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“Tiger resists. "WAIT. We're ALL friends HERE. What is it you wanna talk about? SEX? The new DILDO my mom bought me? Or the HAIR on my sister's ASS-”
― Giorge Leedy, Uninhibited From Lust To Love

tags: ass, dildo, gay-romance, humor, resist

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“The dildo is long and elegant, a classic old school moon-rocket, complete with four stabilising fins at the bottom. Each fin controls a different haptic field. A silver pussy-rocket printed to the dimensions of her vagina and vulva. Not a penis. Never a penis. Ariel Corta has never allowed a penis inside her.”
― Ian McDonald, New Moon

tags: dildo

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“Our sexual pleasure happens within us, not on or inside our partners’ genitals.”
― Mokokoma Mokhonoana

tags: adult-shop, dildo, genitals, masturbate, masturbation, pleasure, sex, sex-shop, sex-toys, vibrator

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“He pulled out what he thought he would find there, a dildo, though Bradley frowned, genuinely surprised. He sat back down and looked up at Pete, sure that Pete had made some kind of mistake, because it wasn’t a dildo, but a hand mixer.”
― Todd Young, Corrupted

tags: dildo, hand-mixer, kitchen-appliances, sex-toy

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