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Matrescence: On the Metamorphosis of Pregnancy, Childbirth, and Motherhood
A radical new examination of the transition into motherhood and how it affects the mind, brain and body
During pregnancy, childbirth, and early motherhood, women undergo a far-reaching physiological, psychological and social metamorphosis. Other than during adolescence, there is no other time in a human's life with such dramatic change, yet science, medicine, and philosophy have neglected this life-altering transition. Its seismic effects go largely unrepresented across literature and the arts. Speaking about motherhood as anything other than a pastel-hued dream remains, for the most part, taboo.
In this ground-breaking, deeply personal investigation, acclaimed journalist and author Lucy Jones brings to light the emerging concept of 'matrescence'. Drawing on new research across various fields—neuroscience and evolutionary biology; psychoanalysis and existential therapy; sociology, economics and ecology—Jones shows how the changes in the maternal mind, brain, and body are far more profound, wild, and enduring than we have been led to believe. She reveals the dangerous consequences of our neglect of the maternal experience, and interrogates the patriarchal and capitalist systems that have created the untenable situation mothers face today.
Here is an urgent examination of the modern institution of motherhood that seeks to unshackle all parents from oppressive social norms. As it deepens our understanding of matrescence, it raises vital questions about motherhood and femininity; interdependence and individual identity; and our relationships with each other and the world.
During pregnancy, childbirth, and early motherhood, women undergo a far-reaching physiological, psychological and social metamorphosis. Other than during adolescence, there is no other time in a human's life with such dramatic change, yet science, medicine, and philosophy have neglected this life-altering transition. Its seismic effects go largely unrepresented across literature and the arts. Speaking about motherhood as anything other than a pastel-hued dream remains, for the most part, taboo.
In this ground-breaking, deeply personal investigation, acclaimed journalist and author Lucy Jones brings to light the emerging concept of 'matrescence'. Drawing on new research across various fields—neuroscience and evolutionary biology; psychoanalysis and existential therapy; sociology, economics and ecology—Jones shows how the changes in the maternal mind, brain, and body are far more profound, wild, and enduring than we have been led to believe. She reveals the dangerous consequences of our neglect of the maternal experience, and interrogates the patriarchal and capitalist systems that have created the untenable situation mothers face today.
Here is an urgent examination of the modern institution of motherhood that seeks to unshackle all parents from oppressive social norms. As it deepens our understanding of matrescence, it raises vital questions about motherhood and femininity; interdependence and individual identity; and our relationships with each other and the world.
310 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 2023
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 298 reviews
June 18, 2023
If you are a mom. If you want to be a mom. If you have a mom. If you want to support a mom. If you don’t mind a little non-fiction. Give this book some of your time.
It has animal and earth science, political and economical discussion, and a whole lot of truth and guidance for understanding matrescence (and even patrescence).
This book will stay with me more than any other I’ve ever read. And not just because I am in matrescence but because I have a mother, I know many mothers, and I could have been a much better friend and supporter if I would have been taught this stuff 10 years ago.
A part of me deeply aches that almost every facet of western society is designed to erase and sweep childbirth under the carpet. If you don’t believe this, then do yourself and the rest of society a favour and read this book. If you do already understand this, then reading it will be an ointment. Thank you Lucy Jones, you’re vulnerability and knowledge will change the world.
It has animal and earth science, political and economical discussion, and a whole lot of truth and guidance for understanding matrescence (and even patrescence).
This book will stay with me more than any other I’ve ever read. And not just because I am in matrescence but because I have a mother, I know many mothers, and I could have been a much better friend and supporter if I would have been taught this stuff 10 years ago.
A part of me deeply aches that almost every facet of western society is designed to erase and sweep childbirth under the carpet. If you don’t believe this, then do yourself and the rest of society a favour and read this book. If you do already understand this, then reading it will be an ointment. Thank you Lucy Jones, you’re vulnerability and knowledge will change the world.
January 25, 2024
Matrescence, a word coined by anthropologist Dana Raphael in the 1970s, is the process of becoming a mother. It’s a transition period, like adolescence, that involves radical physical and mental changes and has lasting effects.
Like Jones’s previous book, Losing Eden, about climate breakdown and the human need for nature, Matrescence is a potent blend of scientific research and stories from the frontline. She has synthesized a huge amount of information into a tight 260-some pages that are structured thematically but also proceed roughly chronologically through her own matrescence. Not long into her pregnancy with her first child, a daughter, she realised the extent to which outdated and sexist expectations still govern motherhood: concepts like “natural childbirth” and “maternal instinct,” the judgemental requirement for exclusive breastfeeding, the idea that a parent should “enjoy every minute” of their offspring’s babyhood rather than admitting depression or overwhelm. After the cataclysm of birth, loneliness set in. “Matrescence was another country, another planet. I didn’t know how to talk about the existential crisis I was facing, or the confronting, encompassing relationship I was now in.”
Jones is now a mother of three. You might think delivery would get easier each time, but in fact the birth of her second son was worst, physically: she had to go into immediate surgery for a fourth-degree anal sphincter tear. In reflecting on her own experiences, and speaking with experts, she has become passionate about fostering open discussion about the pain and risk of childbirth, and how to mitigate them. Women who aren’t informed about what they might go through suffer more because of the shock and isolation. There’s the medical side, but also the equally important social implications: new mothers need so much more practical and mental health support, and their unpaid care work must be properly valued by society. “Yet the focus remains on individual responsibility, maintaining the illusion that we are impermeable, impenetrable machines, disconnected from the world around us.”
The hybrid nature of the book is its genius. A purely scientific approach might have been dry; a social history well-trod and worthy; a memoir too inward-looking to make wider points. Instead it’s equally committed to all three purposes. I appreciated the laser focus on her own physical and emotional development, but the statistical and theoretical context gives a sense of the universal. The literary touches – lists and word clouds, verse-like meditations and flash vignettes about natural phenomena – are not always successful, but there is a thrill to seeing Jones experimenting. Like Leah Hazard’s Womb, this is by no means a book that’s just for mothers; it’s for anyone who’s ever had a mother.
Originally published on my blog, Bookish Beck.
Like Jones’s previous book, Losing Eden, about climate breakdown and the human need for nature, Matrescence is a potent blend of scientific research and stories from the frontline. She has synthesized a huge amount of information into a tight 260-some pages that are structured thematically but also proceed roughly chronologically through her own matrescence. Not long into her pregnancy with her first child, a daughter, she realised the extent to which outdated and sexist expectations still govern motherhood: concepts like “natural childbirth” and “maternal instinct,” the judgemental requirement for exclusive breastfeeding, the idea that a parent should “enjoy every minute” of their offspring’s babyhood rather than admitting depression or overwhelm. After the cataclysm of birth, loneliness set in. “Matrescence was another country, another planet. I didn’t know how to talk about the existential crisis I was facing, or the confronting, encompassing relationship I was now in.”
Jones is now a mother of three. You might think delivery would get easier each time, but in fact the birth of her second son was worst, physically: she had to go into immediate surgery for a fourth-degree anal sphincter tear. In reflecting on her own experiences, and speaking with experts, she has become passionate about fostering open discussion about the pain and risk of childbirth, and how to mitigate them. Women who aren’t informed about what they might go through suffer more because of the shock and isolation. There’s the medical side, but also the equally important social implications: new mothers need so much more practical and mental health support, and their unpaid care work must be properly valued by society. “Yet the focus remains on individual responsibility, maintaining the illusion that we are impermeable, impenetrable machines, disconnected from the world around us.”
The hybrid nature of the book is its genius. A purely scientific approach might have been dry; a social history well-trod and worthy; a memoir too inward-looking to make wider points. Instead it’s equally committed to all three purposes. I appreciated the laser focus on her own physical and emotional development, but the statistical and theoretical context gives a sense of the universal. The literary touches – lists and word clouds, verse-like meditations and flash vignettes about natural phenomena – are not always successful, but there is a thrill to seeing Jones experimenting. Like Leah Hazard’s Womb, this is by no means a book that’s just for mothers; it’s for anyone who’s ever had a mother.
Originally published on my blog, Bookish Beck.
July 3, 2023
Beautifully written book that truly feels like it was written as a response to every single question, emotion and thought I've had since becoming a mother. The only piece of writing I've found that ties together all the strands of motherhood: feminism, capitalism, biology, trauma, parenting, neuroscience.... An incredible book.
August 25, 2023
This is the first time I’ve written a review but this book provoked strong feelings as a mother deep into matrescence. I absolutely related to lots of the book, and really tried to take the first few chapters from an objective point of view because I did not have the same experiences when it came to child birth and breastfeeding, but I do completely understand that the emphasis was on the pressure that the ‘natural mother’ rhetoric puts on women. I do however wish there had been more focus on the difference support can make to this journey and having the support there. I think had I read this whilst pregnant it would have made me feel rather fearful of early motherhood, whereas I think if you do have a fantastic support network around you, you are able to focus on the more joyous elements of mothering. Absolutely agree we need to value mothers more as a society and I found lots of the scientific information extremely interesting. A worthwhile read, however frustrating at times.
Read
March 19, 2024NB: I don't rate non fiction.
Absolutely fascinating and insightful look into the life altering transition into Motherhood, from pregnancy and birth to the sleep deprived early years and beyond. At times deeply personal, Lucy Jones speaks with passion about a period so many of us have gone through yet still dont talk about openly. So many times I was nodding my head along to Lucy's words as she spoke so candidly about her struggles with labour, the trauma from pain and tears (which I also had and drew so many parallels with) to bonding with your children, feelings of inadequacy and how the body is irreversibly altered. Motherhood, for me, was this odd juxtaposition of joy and abject despair. It was the societal struggle to breastfeed, not realising that so many babies are combination and bottle fed, to the overall lack of sleep while trying to keep this small person alive that had me constantly treading water. I'm five years out from having a newborn, and yet my memories of that time are still incredibly raw, and nothing can prepare you for how mind and body altering a process matrescence is. I will forever be greatful for this book in getting me to acknowledge that my experiences were valid, and shared.
Recommend for anyone who has gone through matrescence or is about to become a parent. Don't ever think you're alone in your journey.
Absolutely fascinating and insightful look into the life altering transition into Motherhood, from pregnancy and birth to the sleep deprived early years and beyond. At times deeply personal, Lucy Jones speaks with passion about a period so many of us have gone through yet still dont talk about openly. So many times I was nodding my head along to Lucy's words as she spoke so candidly about her struggles with labour, the trauma from pain and tears (which I also had and drew so many parallels with) to bonding with your children, feelings of inadequacy and how the body is irreversibly altered. Motherhood, for me, was this odd juxtaposition of joy and abject despair. It was the societal struggle to breastfeed, not realising that so many babies are combination and bottle fed, to the overall lack of sleep while trying to keep this small person alive that had me constantly treading water. I'm five years out from having a newborn, and yet my memories of that time are still incredibly raw, and nothing can prepare you for how mind and body altering a process matrescence is. I will forever be greatful for this book in getting me to acknowledge that my experiences were valid, and shared.
Recommend for anyone who has gone through matrescence or is about to become a parent. Don't ever think you're alone in your journey.
June 18, 2024
I like to ask mothers to share how the work of parenting compares to traditional career work pre-children, and how their own satisfaction in/enjoyment of the two compare. I've never met a mom who is able to articulate her feelings about the different modes of labor/existence. This book goes farther than anything else I've encountered to explain what profound changes occur in the life of a woman who becomes a mother: bodily, mentally, chemically, emotionally, societally.
I think this book makes an excellent counterpoint to Ina May's Guide to Childbirth, the only other book on pregnancy I've read. But where Guide to Childbirth zooms in on the actual delivery of a child, Matrescence focuses on the whole project of motherhood, from conception to the mothering of a born child.
Jones's wonder in nature, science, and what they can teach us is reminiscent of Annie Dillard's Pilgrim at Tinker Creek, though Jones has a distinct voice. Her scientific explorations and descriptions of the changes that take place in a woman who becomes a mother were consistent with what I've witnessed in friends who've undergone that transition. Her book addressed topics and questions that the mainstream has avoided, like difficulties with breast feeding, the prevalence of postpartum depression, and ways modern western society can impede or make more painful the transition to motherhood.
I think this book makes an excellent counterpoint to Ina May's Guide to Childbirth, the only other book on pregnancy I've read. But where Guide to Childbirth zooms in on the actual delivery of a child, Matrescence focuses on the whole project of motherhood, from conception to the mothering of a born child.
Jones's wonder in nature, science, and what they can teach us is reminiscent of Annie Dillard's Pilgrim at Tinker Creek, though Jones has a distinct voice. Her scientific explorations and descriptions of the changes that take place in a woman who becomes a mother were consistent with what I've witnessed in friends who've undergone that transition. Her book addressed topics and questions that the mainstream has avoided, like difficulties with breast feeding, the prevalence of postpartum depression, and ways modern western society can impede or make more painful the transition to motherhood.
March 19, 2024
Not going to lie: was drawn to this book by the beautiful cover.
I knew from the outset that this might be a masochistic (cathartic?) read with which I would struggle. But I did feel open to the text. There were certainly useful and interesting insights, findings and perspectives. But I did struggle with the author's seeming lack of self-awareness and world-awareness. Really: you didn't think care work was hard until you became a mother??
There were also sweeping statements about how motherhood is specifically lonely - I wished the author would have taken a more high-level, open-minded approach of acknowledging that all humans experience periods of profound loneliness, these just occur for us at different times and in different circumstances depending on our lives. For example, she says compares matrescence to adolescence but says about the latter "at least we weren't alone." She clearly didn't experience being a teenager without a friend group.
Not to say it's not a useful book, I just think it is aimed at quite a specific group.
I knew from the outset that this might be a masochistic (cathartic?) read with which I would struggle. But I did feel open to the text. There were certainly useful and interesting insights, findings and perspectives. But I did struggle with the author's seeming lack of self-awareness and world-awareness. Really: you didn't think care work was hard until you became a mother??
There were also sweeping statements about how motherhood is specifically lonely - I wished the author would have taken a more high-level, open-minded approach of acknowledging that all humans experience periods of profound loneliness, these just occur for us at different times and in different circumstances depending on our lives. For example, she says compares matrescence to adolescence but says about the latter "at least we weren't alone." She clearly didn't experience being a teenager without a friend group.
Not to say it's not a useful book, I just think it is aimed at quite a specific group.
November 29, 2023
This is the book I’ve been needing since becoming a mother. It helped me make sense of many of my own experiences. It’s therapy in a book but it’s also so much more as it blends genres: social critic, memoir, science report and even poetry. It’s absolutely brilliant.
September 6, 2024
I feel seen. I feel heard. I feel validated as a mother after reading this brilliant and groundbreaking piece of nonfiction literature. Jones’s beautifully written prose and research on motherhood and its place in the modern world is exactly what I needed while navigating the world and all its complexities four months after giving birth to my second baby. This is a must read for all mothers and fathers and really anybody because we all have/had a mother.
April 25, 2024
This book is one I picked up on the recommendation of a friend as the author is due to come to our library soon for an event. The book instantly sounded interesting, as I am a mother and therefore in matrescence. I have a 2.5year old, and have gone through many of the things Lucy referred to in this book, and yet I also didn’t know so many of the things which she described and which she looks into. Truly there’s a whole world of knowledge within this short title which I think would be invaluable to know pre-pregnancy and as a mother now.
The author writes this in a very approachable way so that the science is woven with her personal account and also with the history and culturally-relevant information to prove the points. Life in Western society has driven a wedge between motherhood and the natural, social way we’ve parented in the past, the days of tribes and groups raising a baby, and working together to take the load off of new mothers is in our past. What we see here is an examination of how and why this has happened along with advice and insight into the changes wrought by pregnancy and matrescence.
Truly, I think this might be a must-read for many many people who intend to be pregnant or to be a primary caregiver to a child. The world of matrescence was new to me before this, but I feel as though many of the things I learned in this book will stay with me. 4.5*s
The author writes this in a very approachable way so that the science is woven with her personal account and also with the history and culturally-relevant information to prove the points. Life in Western society has driven a wedge between motherhood and the natural, social way we’ve parented in the past, the days of tribes and groups raising a baby, and working together to take the load off of new mothers is in our past. What we see here is an examination of how and why this has happened along with advice and insight into the changes wrought by pregnancy and matrescence.
Truly, I think this might be a must-read for many many people who intend to be pregnant or to be a primary caregiver to a child. The world of matrescence was new to me before this, but I feel as though many of the things I learned in this book will stay with me. 4.5*s
May 5, 2024
Kokkuvõtvalt pakub see raamat laia ja tänapäevast käsitlust ema kui hooldaja aju ning füsioloogia osas. Minu jaoks oli raamatu eesmärk kohati kõikuv/muutuv. Kõige suuremat väärtust näen võib-olla peatükkide eraldi käsitlemisel vs raamat kui tervik. Raamatus käsitleb autor enda kogemust, mis võib olla abiks, kuid kohati on käsitlus ühekülgne ja veidi ohvrimeelselt kirjeldatud. Samuti on umbes pool teosest üsna poliitiline/feministlik, mis pole iseenesest halb, kuid tekitab veidi küsimusi, kellele teos oli suunatud. Iseenesest tõstatab autor raamatus olulised küsimused ja teemad.
June 21, 2024
In asking questions about motherhood or even thinking about motherhood, it seems like so often womens’ experiences are painted over with some weird sparkly vocabulary— “it’s hard but it’s worth it” type stuff. Whether mothers do this so as not to scare other women or just give an impression of being okay, I’m not sure, but it feels really hard to know what an accurate “matrescence” even looks like.
Lucy Jones to the rescue! There are parts of Jones’ own story and research that genuinely scared me regarding having a baby. She spares no detail, but while it was really scary, I also felt relief and deep appreciation that she was even discussing her own experience at all.
Jones is extremely well researched—I really appreciated all of the studies she referenced. She discusses how motherhood physically and chemically changes your brain to be more attuned to the baby, etc.
There seems to be a pretty major lack of support for mothers, and I wonder how much of this could be helped by the church. Perhaps the church is doing a lot, and I just don’t see it because I’m not in a season of matrescence right now.
Overall, this book has given me a whole new appreciation and admiration for the mothers I know, particularly my own mother. There is so much sacrifice that we (children of mothers) don’t even know about.
Go hug your mom and all of your friends who are moms!
Lucy Jones to the rescue! There are parts of Jones’ own story and research that genuinely scared me regarding having a baby. She spares no detail, but while it was really scary, I also felt relief and deep appreciation that she was even discussing her own experience at all.
Jones is extremely well researched—I really appreciated all of the studies she referenced. She discusses how motherhood physically and chemically changes your brain to be more attuned to the baby, etc.
There seems to be a pretty major lack of support for mothers, and I wonder how much of this could be helped by the church. Perhaps the church is doing a lot, and I just don’t see it because I’m not in a season of matrescence right now.
Overall, this book has given me a whole new appreciation and admiration for the mothers I know, particularly my own mother. There is so much sacrifice that we (children of mothers) don’t even know about.
Go hug your mom and all of your friends who are moms!
June 12, 2024
I really enjoyed the first half of this book. I found it incredibly insightful and eye-opening, as I’m preparing for my first baby. Understanding how my body and mind were changing during my first-trimester was reassuring because I felt this dramatic shift in my body, my sense of self, even my personality. However I did not have the biological and psychological knowledge to make sense of it.
Despite this, I found the second half to be a bit anxiety inducing. I didn’t feel it was a balanced perception of motherhood but just all the tough parts. I guess she was trying to cover the stuff that is seen as taboo in the mothering world and isn’t talked about, but it momentarily took away a lot of the excitement I was feeling and left me feeling anxious. I appreciated that she was giving an honest account of her experience and recognising how society fails mothers. However, I felt that the focus could have been more on how to allow mothers to have a more empowering and enjoyable experience of motherhood rather than all the ways that it can be shit for us. An enlightening read but a bit too negative at times for me!
Despite this, I found the second half to be a bit anxiety inducing. I didn’t feel it was a balanced perception of motherhood but just all the tough parts. I guess she was trying to cover the stuff that is seen as taboo in the mothering world and isn’t talked about, but it momentarily took away a lot of the excitement I was feeling and left me feeling anxious. I appreciated that she was giving an honest account of her experience and recognising how society fails mothers. However, I felt that the focus could have been more on how to allow mothers to have a more empowering and enjoyable experience of motherhood rather than all the ways that it can be shit for us. An enlightening read but a bit too negative at times for me!
January 13, 2024
I wouldn’t have wanted to read this brutally honest book whilst pregnant (or attempting to be…); but 23 years later can say that so much resonated. It also seems to be getting harder - not easier - for new mothers/parents.
Would I recommend it? Yup.
When anyone says “enjoy every minute” of your new baby- tell them to @@@ off!
I also struggled to say matrescence and had to google it. (Rhymes with adolescence …)
Would I recommend it? Yup.
When anyone says “enjoy every minute” of your new baby- tell them to @@@ off!
I also struggled to say matrescence and had to google it. (Rhymes with adolescence …)
August 8, 2024
In interviews rondom de publicatie vraagt Jones zich af: “She realized that she had never seen a painting of a person giving birth, or heard a song about pregnancy, or read a book about the loss of self in early motherhood. Why didn’t she have any idea of what being a mother entailed?”
Dit gevoel herken ik, maar ik heb zelf al een hele boekenplank aan boeken over het moederschap verzameld, en ook de literatuurlijst aan het einde van dit boek ontkracht de stelling dat daar zo weinig over geschreven wordt. Mijn theorie is dat het gewoon niet binnenkomt tot het voor jou geldt. En dat de ervaring van moeder worden* zo groots en zo particulier en collectief tegelijk is dat daar keer op keer boeken over geschreven kunnen worden. Geeft niets, ik verslind ze allemaal.
Dit boek bevat de beste kritiek op ‘natuurlijke geboorte’ die ik heb gelezen, lekker fel ook, met een ad honinem op de bedenker van de angst-pijn-spiraal. Toch is de felheid ook particulier: Jones voelde zich gepiepeld door het discours van de natuurlijke geboorte, waar ze ook wel erg heilig in leek te geloven.
Op dezelfde wijze laat ze zien dat gentle parenting op wankele gronden is gebaseerd, maar daar is ze veel minder kritisch op. In het algemeen: voor iemand met zo’n ritische geest, journalistieke en wetenschappelijke achtergrond lijkt ze wel erg makkelijk ten prooi te vallen aan societale normen. Zal deels ook retorisch van aard zijn.
Het is dus vaak particulier en soms weer erg lokaal: Jones geeft hoog op van Nederlandse kraamzorg, wij kunnen weer jaloers zijn op negen maanden verlof.
*vader of medemoeder worden is natuurlijk ook ingrijpend, maar kent niet de fysieke en hormonale component. Verder vroeg ik me herhaaldelijk af waar de partner is in dit verhaal. Wat geldt voor de ervaring van ouder worden en wat is moeder-specifiek.
Dit gevoel herken ik, maar ik heb zelf al een hele boekenplank aan boeken over het moederschap verzameld, en ook de literatuurlijst aan het einde van dit boek ontkracht de stelling dat daar zo weinig over geschreven wordt. Mijn theorie is dat het gewoon niet binnenkomt tot het voor jou geldt. En dat de ervaring van moeder worden* zo groots en zo particulier en collectief tegelijk is dat daar keer op keer boeken over geschreven kunnen worden. Geeft niets, ik verslind ze allemaal.
Dit boek bevat de beste kritiek op ‘natuurlijke geboorte’ die ik heb gelezen, lekker fel ook, met een ad honinem op de bedenker van de angst-pijn-spiraal. Toch is de felheid ook particulier: Jones voelde zich gepiepeld door het discours van de natuurlijke geboorte, waar ze ook wel erg heilig in leek te geloven.
Op dezelfde wijze laat ze zien dat gentle parenting op wankele gronden is gebaseerd, maar daar is ze veel minder kritisch op. In het algemeen: voor iemand met zo’n ritische geest, journalistieke en wetenschappelijke achtergrond lijkt ze wel erg makkelijk ten prooi te vallen aan societale normen. Zal deels ook retorisch van aard zijn.
Het is dus vaak particulier en soms weer erg lokaal: Jones geeft hoog op van Nederlandse kraamzorg, wij kunnen weer jaloers zijn op negen maanden verlof.
*vader of medemoeder worden is natuurlijk ook ingrijpend, maar kent niet de fysieke en hormonale component. Verder vroeg ik me herhaaldelijk af waar de partner is in dit verhaal. Wat geldt voor de ervaring van ouder worden en wat is moeder-specifiek.
August 12, 2024
I find myself conflicted sometimes reading these books where author-mothers use their own stories as the framework for exploring science and philosophy behind motherhood, almost like reading through someone’s 8 page monologue on a cooking blog before getting to the recipe I came for.
I can forgive and even commend the way Jones uses that method here; she deftly mixes anthropology and philosophy in with her own experience. And I guess I can’t really blame her; I would argue that all of motherhood is trying to understand what the hell has happened to you.
I think 2 years postpartum was exactly the perfect time to read this, it takes that long to start feeling re-combobulated. I also would have been scared shitless to read this while pregnant lol, now I can look back and just relate and know that I survived it haha
I can forgive and even commend the way Jones uses that method here; she deftly mixes anthropology and philosophy in with her own experience. And I guess I can’t really blame her; I would argue that all of motherhood is trying to understand what the hell has happened to you.
I think 2 years postpartum was exactly the perfect time to read this, it takes that long to start feeling re-combobulated. I also would have been scared shitless to read this while pregnant lol, now I can look back and just relate and know that I survived it haha
June 2, 2024
This strongly represents my experience of motherhood. My birth story includes bleeding so much that I couldn't breathe after birth and the nighttime interns and nurses didn't know why so I wasn't treated until the morning after a night of gasping for oxygen; trouble breastfeeding, not because I couldn't, but because the older women in my life hadn't so they pushed formula on me; and though I produced enough milk, it required constant all-day feeding that allowed for minimal other activities; as well as isolation, depression, etc. And I had a monumentally supportive partner but there's only so much an individual or two can do in the face of so many societal failures.
July 22, 2024
A gloomy, poetic, and realistic account of adapting to motherhood. I was put off by her extremely negative approach to birth; she was unwilling to accommodate any possibility that birth could be joyful and good! But the bits on how desperately we need HELP to raise our babies rang true, as I read this four months postpartum with my third.
July 7, 2024
This is the most important book I’ve ever read. Required reading for everyone, parent or not, plans to mother or not.
Matrescence teases out every thread in the tapestry of Western mothering, examines it in the sunlight of science, philosophy, nature, sociology, anthropology and more. It explains why mothering is an impossible task, why you feel so desperately bad at it. It proposes an alternative reality for all of us, one in which mothers aren’t subjugated tools of capitalism and patriarchy, misunderstood and ignored by science, and instead where caring is valued and benefits everyone.
Matrescence teases out every thread in the tapestry of Western mothering, examines it in the sunlight of science, philosophy, nature, sociology, anthropology and more. It explains why mothering is an impossible task, why you feel so desperately bad at it. It proposes an alternative reality for all of us, one in which mothers aren’t subjugated tools of capitalism and patriarchy, misunderstood and ignored by science, and instead where caring is valued and benefits everyone.
June 28, 2024
An honest, scientific and poetic book that candidly discusses the journey into motherhood from the perspective of the author. It covers so many areas from how matrescence physically changes the individual, honest experiences of being a mother in the early days, to how societies do (or do not) support women during this major transition. A must read for anyone considering or entering motherhood.
November 11, 2023
I’m not sure whether I would have wanted to read this before I had my daughter but I’m glad to have read this now. While my experience of becoming a mother was very different to Lucy Jones, so much of what she writes in this book about the devaluation of motherhood, mothering and parenting has been on my mind since I entered my own matrescence.
A slight tangent, I work in higher education and am watching so many young people struggle with their mental health. As I talk to them I see that so much of this seems to be social isolation and being separated from families. Fast forward ten years after graduation and having children is leading to huge numbers of women suffering PPD as they go through matrescence essentially alone after millennia of our ancestors doing it communally and with what we would see now as extensive familial support.
Essential reading for us all, and planning on it as a perfect Christmas gift for my MP to start better thinking about family-friendly policy
A slight tangent, I work in higher education and am watching so many young people struggle with their mental health. As I talk to them I see that so much of this seems to be social isolation and being separated from families. Fast forward ten years after graduation and having children is leading to huge numbers of women suffering PPD as they go through matrescence essentially alone after millennia of our ancestors doing it communally and with what we would see now as extensive familial support.
Essential reading for us all, and planning on it as a perfect Christmas gift for my MP to start better thinking about family-friendly policy
June 24, 2024
Hot take on this highly rated book apparently: I wouldn't recommend it to expectant mothers like myself.
I was looking for an honest and scientific take on things, but around 80% of this was a bit too subjective with the author's personal rocky experiences and perspectives (which are very valid!). Several times I had to take break periods away from it to refill my optimism meters and remember that I do not share the author's circumstances nor outlook.
I think it confirms my biggest takeaway from this journey infact. Listen but only take in what is useful- filter out what doesn't benefit!
I was looking for an honest and scientific take on things, but around 80% of this was a bit too subjective with the author's personal rocky experiences and perspectives (which are very valid!). Several times I had to take break periods away from it to refill my optimism meters and remember that I do not share the author's circumstances nor outlook.
I think it confirms my biggest takeaway from this journey infact. Listen but only take in what is useful- filter out what doesn't benefit!
December 1, 2023
A tough read
There were some elements of this book that were really interesting but others were challenging. While I respect that this book is trying to be realistic about the negativity sling motherhood I also think it fails to bring the positives at all and therefore ends up a very challenging read. Whilst this book is very likely to be read by mothers, as a very new mother (3 months) I'd recommend holding off and reading it at a later time.
There were some elements of this book that were really interesting but others were challenging. While I respect that this book is trying to be realistic about the negativity sling motherhood I also think it fails to bring the positives at all and therefore ends up a very challenging read. Whilst this book is very likely to be read by mothers, as a very new mother (3 months) I'd recommend holding off and reading it at a later time.
May 28, 2024
A truly amazing, informative and completely eye opening read. This novel needs to be read by everyone not only mothers/parents. I’m not a mother however I thoroughly enjoyed this read, it sheds a light on such a monumental and formative part of life (especially women/mothers) while discussing the biological changes and challenges faced. Probably a lot of hard truths that many don’t want to hear and refer to be ignorant about. Highly recommend.
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July 17, 2024I enjoyed Jones' biological and personal insights. I agree that to be pregnant in a world so ignorant of the biology of pregnancy is to be inherently political. I loved the background she gives on the cultural history of pain and childbirth. Her descriptions of her experience of pain during her own labors are tremendous. So far I've been lucky to avoid most of the judgement pregnant people report getting from others about their choices to get pregnant, keep or terminate their pregnancies, and/or stay comfortable when pregnant and laboring. I will say, the area I felt the most cultural pressure about was embracing this concept of a "natural" birth, which I've since learned, is not and never will be an option for me. Like Jones, I've always been skeptical of natural medicine but was seduced by the supposed control I would have over a natural birth. It turns out that whatever birthing method and whatever pain management you elect for during childbirth, personal control over the process is a myth, and a pretty harmful one.
Also like Jones, I have experienced what I would describe as social discomfort from masculine folks about my pregnant body. Unlike Jones, I don't put this down to a masculine fear of powerlessness or death but rather a lack of education and socialization. Men typically aren't encouraged to practice the same social scripts women do when it comes to interaction with pregnant people--in fact, they are often ridiculed and ostracized when they express admiration, excitement, or envy for pregnant people. Not wanting to be rude but not wanting to be shunned, some fumble a little. The world would be a better place if we (and by we I mean men in particular) encouraged other men to be as excited and/or curious about reproductive rights, biology and culture as women.
Also! Just a closing note. Jones is British and has the NHS at her disposal. For American readers, the cruelty and inefficiency of the modern US medical insurance apparatus would triple the length of this book.
Also like Jones, I have experienced what I would describe as social discomfort from masculine folks about my pregnant body. Unlike Jones, I don't put this down to a masculine fear of powerlessness or death but rather a lack of education and socialization. Men typically aren't encouraged to practice the same social scripts women do when it comes to interaction with pregnant people--in fact, they are often ridiculed and ostracized when they express admiration, excitement, or envy for pregnant people. Not wanting to be rude but not wanting to be shunned, some fumble a little. The world would be a better place if we (and by we I mean men in particular) encouraged other men to be as excited and/or curious about reproductive rights, biology and culture as women.
Also! Just a closing note. Jones is British and has the NHS at her disposal. For American readers, the cruelty and inefficiency of the modern US medical insurance apparatus would triple the length of this book.
September 25, 2024
I don’t think I’ve been moved, outraged, and just felt seen by a nonfiction book as much as this one has. So many moments reading this gave me goosebumps and a desire to blast 100% up in the sky in agreement. Will write more but definitely feeling the ‘my words won’t measure to how much this book rocked my world’ feels. In the meantime I will leave with this paragraph from the final chapter:
“The first step for any transformative movement is raising consciousness. We have to see the structures we've inherited in order to tear them down. So many women believe their struggles with matrescence are the result of their own weakness and moral failing. This is a lie and it inhibits honest talk and social change. The difficulties of modern matrescence in neoliberal Western societies are structural and systematic. Seeing the oppressive nature of the institution of motherhood for what it is, and acknowledging the failure of society to support care work, allows us to think critically. Talking makes the structures of discrimination more visible. It allows us to identify what must change.”
“The first step for any transformative movement is raising consciousness. We have to see the structures we've inherited in order to tear them down. So many women believe their struggles with matrescence are the result of their own weakness and moral failing. This is a lie and it inhibits honest talk and social change. The difficulties of modern matrescence in neoliberal Western societies are structural and systematic. Seeing the oppressive nature of the institution of motherhood for what it is, and acknowledging the failure of society to support care work, allows us to think critically. Talking makes the structures of discrimination more visible. It allows us to identify what must change.”
July 15, 2024
This was a stunning read. I wish it had been around when I first became a parent. Perhaps a little intense at times, but maybe what we need is more intensity around what pregnancy, birth, and the postpartum period looks like for a huge percentage of humans living on earth.
August 15, 2024
Matrescence is the little-known term for the process of becoming a mother. It’s a transition period, like adolescence, marked by both physical and mental changes. However, unlike many other transitions in life, matrescence has typically been swept under the proverbial rug (in western society today).
Lucy Jones has crafted an excellent blend of science, history, and memoir through the various stages of matrescence. I especially enjoyed the mini-chapters on biological, ecological, or geographical analogues (imaginal discs whaaaa?) that precede each chapter. I was fascinated by some of the recent science (pregnancy/caregiving literally changes your brain in a way easily detectable in scans). I was angry at society for all of the suffering going on in silence. I'm ever hopeful that books like this spark conversation and change.
Highly recommended for mothers, soon-to-be-moms, or anyone who has ever wanted to appreciate what it takes to be a mother. (And FYI, while Jones uses the term 'mother' extensively, a lot of this book is relatable for all caregivers).
Lucy Jones has crafted an excellent blend of science, history, and memoir through the various stages of matrescence. I especially enjoyed the mini-chapters on biological, ecological, or geographical analogues (imaginal discs whaaaa?) that precede each chapter. I was fascinated by some of the recent science (pregnancy/caregiving literally changes your brain in a way easily detectable in scans). I was angry at society for all of the suffering going on in silence. I'm ever hopeful that books like this spark conversation and change.
Highly recommended for mothers, soon-to-be-moms, or anyone who has ever wanted to appreciate what it takes to be a mother. (And FYI, while Jones uses the term 'mother' extensively, a lot of this book is relatable for all caregivers).
August 22, 2024
Incredible! Ik sta op het punt dit boek cadeau te doen aan alle moeders die ik ken. Het boek informeert en troost in de misschien wel meest bijzondere fase van mijn leven. Echt geweldig! Lees dit boek! Lees dit boek!
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