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"If You Lean In, Will Men Just Look Down Your Blouse?": Questions and Thoughts for Loud, Smart Women in Turbulent Times
Gina Barreca is fed up with women who lean in, but don't open their mouths. In her latest collection of essays, she turns her attention to subjects like bondage which she notes now seems to come in fifty shades of grey and has been renamed Spanx. She muses on those lessons learned in Kindergarten that every woman must unlearn like not having to hold the hand of the person you're waking next to (especially if he's a bad boyfriend) or needing to have milk, cookies and a nap every day at 3:00 PM (which tends to sap one's energy not to mention what it does to one's waistline). She sounds off about all those things a woman hates to hear from a man like "Calm down" or "Next time, try buying shoes that fit". "'If You Lean In, Will Men Just Look Down Your Blouse?'" is about getting loud, getting love, getting ahead and getting the first draw (or the last shot). Here are tips, lessons and bold confessions about bad boyfriends at any age, about friends we love and ones we can't stand anymore, about waist size and wasted time, about panic, placebos, placentas and certain kinds of not-so adorable paternalism attached to certain kinds of politicians. The world is kept lively by loud women talking and "'If You Lean In, Will Men Just Look Down Your Blouse?'" cheers and challenges those voices to come together and speak up. You think she's kidding? Oh, boy, do you have another thing coming.
273 pages, Kindle Edition
First published April 5, 2016
About the author
Gina Barreca
14 books78 followersDr. Gina Barreca, author of the new book If You Lean In, Will Men Just Look Down Your Blouse? Questions and Thoughts for Loud, Smart Women in Turbulent Times is also the author of It's Not That I'm Bitter: How I Learned to Stop Worrying About Visible Panty Lines and Conquered the World. Gina has appeared on 20/20, The Today Show, CNN, the BBC, Dr. Phil, NPR and Oprah to discuss gender, power, politics, and humor. Her earlier books include the bestselling They Used to Call Me Snow White But I Drifted: Women's Strategic Use of Humor and Babes in Boyland: A Personal History of Coeducation in the Ivy League in addition to the six other books she's written and the sixteen she's edited. Gina has been called “smart and funny” by People magazine and “Very, very funny. For a woman,” by Dave Barry. She was deemed a “feminist humor maven” by Ms. Magazine and Wally Lamb said “Barreca’s prose, in equal measures, is hilarious and humane.” Gina, whose weekly columns from The Hartford Courant are now distributed internationally by The Tribune Media Company, is a Professor of English at the University of Connecticut, where she’s won the university’s highest award for teaching.
Her B.A. is from Dartmouth College, where she was the first woman to be named Alumni Scholar, her M.A. is from Cambridge University, where she was a Reynold’s Fellow, and her Ph.D. is from the City University of New York, where she lived close to a good delicatessen. A member of the Friars’ Club and the first female graduate of Dartmouth College invited to have her personal papers requested by the Rauner Special Collections Library, Gina can be found in the Library of Congress or in the make-up aisle of Walgreens. She grew up in Brooklyn and Long Island but now lives with her husband in Storrs, CT. Go figure.
Her B.A. is from Dartmouth College, where she was the first woman to be named Alumni Scholar, her M.A. is from Cambridge University, where she was a Reynold’s Fellow, and her Ph.D. is from the City University of New York, where she lived close to a good delicatessen. A member of the Friars’ Club and the first female graduate of Dartmouth College invited to have her personal papers requested by the Rauner Special Collections Library, Gina can be found in the Library of Congress or in the make-up aisle of Walgreens. She grew up in Brooklyn and Long Island but now lives with her husband in Storrs, CT. Go figure.
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February 19, 2016
Are you a woman? Do you know any women? Then this book has something to offer-- at times hilarious, poignant, honest, and reflective, the essays in If You Lean In, Will Men Just Look Down Your Blouse offers advice, support, and humor from a voice that ranges from best friend to fairy godmother!
February 19, 2016
Gina Barreca’s new book, "If You Lean In, Will Men Just Look Down Your Blouse?": Questions and Thoughts for Loud, Smart Women in Turbulent Times is not only laugh out loud funny, it is read out loud funny. I cracked it open the minute I got my hands on an Advance Reader Copy and snorted and laughed my way through the first forty pages, pausing only to read most of it aloud to my husband. He laughed and snorted, too. I then promised him I’d read the remainder to myself and let him read the book for himself afterward. He didn’t have to wait long as I devoured this book like fast food for a starving soul. Unlike fast food, it has substance and nourished my inner being not just with deep belly laughs but also with insights, aha moments, and reassurances that it’s not only okay to be smart, funny and loud, it’s imperative. In a world where women still earn only 76 cents to every male dollar, and where finding and using our own voices still gets us branded as rabble rousers and angry women, Barreca encourages us to own our intelligence as well as our quirks, and braces us for the daily struggle that includes Spanx and probiotics, carrying everything we need to start life in a new state, bad boyfriends at any age, and hearing from women in lofty places who spout elitist platitudes that won’t work for the masses. Barreca’s new book, like life itself, runs the gamut from hilariously and sometimes wryly funny to profoundly moving in the blink of an eye, and leaves one feeling sated, with a deep sense of affirmation and more than a wisp of wisdom. I initially ordered copies of this book as gifts for my friends, who like me, are women of a certain age. I’m now ordering copies for all of the women I know (and a couple of men) who would do well to read this again and again as it contains laughter and wisdom for all ages and occasions. It truly is one size fits all.
February 19, 2016
This book is a great collection of short pieces. I love books like these because I can read a few at night between putting the baby to bed and falling asleep myself. Note to other parents: Booming laughter frightens the baby.
I fell in love with Gina's writing voice in her syndicated column a few years ago. I recognized some of them in this book while others are new to me. They all prompt a smile or at least a head nod of "oh yeah, I know exactly what you mean."
The essays feel like a conversation with a girlfriend who totally gets it and have prompted many conversations with the unsuspecting person sitting next to me. I easily have a complimentary story for each essay- my poor husband. He just wants to watch Netflix in peace. I really enjoyed the book. If you know Gina's work, this book will bring familiar warmth and wit to you day. If this is your first introduction to Gina. Welcome to the club. We should talk. I have stories.
I fell in love with Gina's writing voice in her syndicated column a few years ago. I recognized some of them in this book while others are new to me. They all prompt a smile or at least a head nod of "oh yeah, I know exactly what you mean."
The essays feel like a conversation with a girlfriend who totally gets it and have prompted many conversations with the unsuspecting person sitting next to me. I easily have a complimentary story for each essay- my poor husband. He just wants to watch Netflix in peace. I really enjoyed the book. If you know Gina's work, this book will bring familiar warmth and wit to you day. If this is your first introduction to Gina. Welcome to the club. We should talk. I have stories.
April 1, 2016
Just finished Gina Barreca's “If You Lean In, Will Men Just Look Down Your Blouse.” Oh my. A mix of humor, whimsy, memoir, hard-boiled relationship advice, inside jokes, and Brooklyn pragmatism. And joy. Lots and lots of joy. Gina parcels these tidbits out in bite-sized, 500-word confections. Except you can’t have just one and put the rest aside for later. You just keep cramming them in you mouth, one after the other, until the box is empty. My favorite line: “You learned that a truly thoughtful lover would not attempt to arouse you with the subtlety of a chimp trying to dial a rotary phone.”
As hard as “If You Lean In…” is to categorize, maybe it’s best to try by analogy. This book is lying languorously on a Christopher Guy sofa next to a milk-carton and plank coffee table, wearing an Oscar de la Renta gown and bunny slippers while drinking Manischewitz from a Waterford Crystal glass and playing Yahtzee with the butler.
I have but one nit to pick, the subtitle, “Questions and Thoughts for Loud, Smart Women in Turbulent Times.” I can’t be the only man who adores this book. Either that or I’m a loud, smart woman trapped in a crotchety old man’s body.
?????
….uh oh…..
As hard as “If You Lean In…” is to categorize, maybe it’s best to try by analogy. This book is lying languorously on a Christopher Guy sofa next to a milk-carton and plank coffee table, wearing an Oscar de la Renta gown and bunny slippers while drinking Manischewitz from a Waterford Crystal glass and playing Yahtzee with the butler.
I have but one nit to pick, the subtitle, “Questions and Thoughts for Loud, Smart Women in Turbulent Times.” I can’t be the only man who adores this book. Either that or I’m a loud, smart woman trapped in a crotchety old man’s body.
?????
….uh oh…..
January 23, 2016
Short, quick and easy to read essays from Gina Barreca. I have never heard of her before and this is the first book I have read, and will be looking the others. Funny, insightful and full of truth with a dash of humor to help it go down. Great read. I would recommend to all my friends, especially my English Major friends who will find her viewpoints on being a English Professor enlightening and funny.
Most of the essays are about finding yourself, the happiness that you have lost and being happy with you and a few essays mocking current events while she wrote.
I received an ARC of this book from St. Martin's Press and NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
Most of the essays are about finding yourself, the happiness that you have lost and being happy with you and a few essays mocking current events while she wrote.
I received an ARC of this book from St. Martin's Press and NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
February 22, 2016
This book is both classic Gina with hilarious essays and great advice, as well as a deeper, more poignant side we haven't often seen in previous volumes. Some of Gina's best pieces in this collection are where she talks about her relationship with her mother and her friendships. Gina goes to the scary places and brings the reader along with her. This is a beautifully balanced collection I know I will return to many times.
June 18, 2016
I want to say "eh". I couldn't get into this book. The book is, however, what it promises to be. I made it 16% into the book and realized it was mostly the same thing over and over. The book is comedic, but all of it felt slightly unfunny to me. I think perhaps this is akin to how I find David Sedaris singularly unfunny.
Some quotes I liked:
p. 7 "Lately, though, I’ve realized that I’ve clung to the schematics behind the game of Duck, Duck, Goose as a guiding force for far too long. In women’s lives especially (and since I’m talking about the pre-K demographic I’ll call us girls without fear of appearing patronizing), all sorts of lessons have encouraged us to sit politely and wait to be chosen. Remember the game Duck, Duck, Goose, where you sat in a circle facing the center and waited to be recognized as the “goose,” whereupon you were tapped and permitted to run around making choices yourself? And how many fairy tales taught us essentially the same lesson? “Duck, Duck, Cinderella!” “Duck, Duck, Snow White!” Or classic books? “Duck, Duck, Madame Bovary!” “Duck, Duck, Anna Karenina!” Or popular movies? “Duck, Duck, Julia Roberts playing a hooker in Pretty Woman!” Great lesson, right? Learn to win at a game where ritual passivity is preparation for random selection?"
p. 20 "Human beings are always searching for some part of our body to blame. In the fifteenth century, you could go to a healer who used leeches, holy water, and spiders to cure you. If the patient lived, he gave the healer a pound of goat meat; if he died, the healer was burnt to death as a witch. This is why, even today, doctors prefer malpractice insurance to its alternatives."
p. 27 "13. Help the dramatically self-pitying to understand that they are not, by definition, sympathetic or interesting. Encourage them to address topics other than themselves."
p. 32 "Like most American women, I am a size 14. I am not a size 4, a size 0, or a size Sub-Zero. A Sub-Zero, for me, is a kind of refrigerator."
p. 33 "If I’m standing in line at the grocery store looking at the issue with red-carpet celebrities, what I’m thinking is: “If those are people, what am I?” The rest of us, wearing six shades of mismatched black, including a cowl-neck sweater we liked in college, don’t feel entirely human. We’re getting tired of it." [Marlene sez: I felt this was a particularly good visual image.]
p. 39 "After a certain age, you finally become the indisputable authority on the subject of yourself."
Some quotes I liked:
p. 7 "Lately, though, I’ve realized that I’ve clung to the schematics behind the game of Duck, Duck, Goose as a guiding force for far too long. In women’s lives especially (and since I’m talking about the pre-K demographic I’ll call us girls without fear of appearing patronizing), all sorts of lessons have encouraged us to sit politely and wait to be chosen. Remember the game Duck, Duck, Goose, where you sat in a circle facing the center and waited to be recognized as the “goose,” whereupon you were tapped and permitted to run around making choices yourself? And how many fairy tales taught us essentially the same lesson? “Duck, Duck, Cinderella!” “Duck, Duck, Snow White!” Or classic books? “Duck, Duck, Madame Bovary!” “Duck, Duck, Anna Karenina!” Or popular movies? “Duck, Duck, Julia Roberts playing a hooker in Pretty Woman!” Great lesson, right? Learn to win at a game where ritual passivity is preparation for random selection?"
p. 20 "Human beings are always searching for some part of our body to blame. In the fifteenth century, you could go to a healer who used leeches, holy water, and spiders to cure you. If the patient lived, he gave the healer a pound of goat meat; if he died, the healer was burnt to death as a witch. This is why, even today, doctors prefer malpractice insurance to its alternatives."
p. 27 "13. Help the dramatically self-pitying to understand that they are not, by definition, sympathetic or interesting. Encourage them to address topics other than themselves."
p. 32 "Like most American women, I am a size 14. I am not a size 4, a size 0, or a size Sub-Zero. A Sub-Zero, for me, is a kind of refrigerator."
p. 33 "If I’m standing in line at the grocery store looking at the issue with red-carpet celebrities, what I’m thinking is: “If those are people, what am I?” The rest of us, wearing six shades of mismatched black, including a cowl-neck sweater we liked in college, don’t feel entirely human. We’re getting tired of it." [Marlene sez: I felt this was a particularly good visual image.]
p. 39 "After a certain age, you finally become the indisputable authority on the subject of yourself."
February 25, 2016
If You Lean In, Will Men Just Look Down Your Blouse not only delivers a wonderful variety of thought-provoking essays, it also leaves you looking any and everywhere for the next edition. Good thing we don't have to wait that long, because Gina's columns are published weekly throughout the world. It's refreshing to read through a book of this kind and realize that whatever section you choose to read you'll find intelligence, warmth, and humor--usually in the same essay. And that's really tough to do. Barreca delivers with this collection and readers will appreciate the effort.
March 1, 2016
Gina Barreca does it again - her take on aging, beauty, marriage, politics, family, exercise, and every other topic is laugh-out-loud-funny! Perhaps her best book to date, IF YOU LEAN IN, WILL MEN JUST LOOK DOWN YOUR BLOUSE? is the perfect blend of Gina's trademark wit and wisdom. Men and women will enjoy this book. Dave Barry, Rachel Dratch, Elmore Leonard and many others celebrate Gina's writing and after you read this book you'll know why!
February 28, 2016
A combination of old style newspaper humor columns (a la Dave Barry, Erma Bombeck) and advice from someone who's been there. I enjoyed the humor more than the advice, and it's a good book to read in bits when you have a few minutes here and there.
February 25, 2016
Gina Barreca's book is the real deal -- the book by, for and about women for which we've all been waiting! Perhaps because it offers, through the author's distinctive voice, the way in which women, that is, many different women, see the WORLD. This shouldn't be so rare, but it is, and Barreca has finally burst through the glass ceiling that suggests women can only see themselves. And although it certainly has a great deal to say about the female experience, and specifically about Barreca's fascinating journey: from an Italian girl from Brooklyn, to attending a male dominated Ivy League College, to becoming a literature professor, author and international speaker, it is not only about the experience of one phenomenal woman. Specifically, it is not yet another irritating book that tells you, "be like me" and all will be well -- instead, Barreca's story offers a window on all the REAL challenges we face in getting ahead and being happy about how far we get. Whether it's family, or work, or love, or children, she shines a sharply focused light on what's really going on and what we can do about it. Also what we cannot do about it, and how to deal with that, which is refreshing. Notice she says "questions and thoughts" in the sub-title -- not "answers." This book doesn't offer advice, it illuminates. Her language is sharp, perceptive and funny as hell. I laughed out loud so many times and yet -- full disclosure: I'm one of the loud women this book is for -- reading it certainly made me FEEL smart, or smarter by the time I was done. I learned a great deal about life, literature and popular culture and, dare I say it, myself! That's the truly remarkable achievement of this book: it entertains as it educates, and it educates in a dazzling number of ways. This global yet personal education happens so rarely in books these days, and almost never when it comes to Books About Women. If you lean in, a lot of guys WILL look down your blouse, and Barreca gives you the strength and the wit to deal with it.
December 14, 2015
St. Martin's Press and NetGalley provided me with an electronic copy of this book, in exchange for an honest review.
If You Lean In, Will Men Just Look Down Your Blouse? is a collection of essays about random topics that all have one commonality: celebrating women with all of their strengths and weaknesses. Women are stronger than they give themselves credit for, so they should cut themselves some slack and speak up.
My favorite sentence in the book is as follows from Chapter 7: "We all enter this world crying. Laughter is something we have to learn." Bad times are inevitable; you have to open the door to allow the best times in your life to enter. Author Gina Barreca has an essay that includes 20 rules to live by that is especially astute, which provides a good mandate to follow that can insure a happy life. There are some funny moments here, but overall it is a book of one woman's experiences coupled with some good advice for finding happiness in your life.
The collection of essays include ones about love, relationships, self esteem, family, and finding happiness in all aspects of life. If You Lean In, Will Men Just Look Down Your Blouse? loses steam in the middle and I found my attention wandering a bit. The author provides a snapshot into her life and experiences, which she uses to give advice to others. This book is designed for those readers who are finding their way back to happiness or who are just looking for inspiration in the experiences of others.
If You Lean In, Will Men Just Look Down Your Blouse? is a collection of essays about random topics that all have one commonality: celebrating women with all of their strengths and weaknesses. Women are stronger than they give themselves credit for, so they should cut themselves some slack and speak up.
My favorite sentence in the book is as follows from Chapter 7: "We all enter this world crying. Laughter is something we have to learn." Bad times are inevitable; you have to open the door to allow the best times in your life to enter. Author Gina Barreca has an essay that includes 20 rules to live by that is especially astute, which provides a good mandate to follow that can insure a happy life. There are some funny moments here, but overall it is a book of one woman's experiences coupled with some good advice for finding happiness in your life.
The collection of essays include ones about love, relationships, self esteem, family, and finding happiness in all aspects of life. If You Lean In, Will Men Just Look Down Your Blouse? loses steam in the middle and I found my attention wandering a bit. The author provides a snapshot into her life and experiences, which she uses to give advice to others. This book is designed for those readers who are finding their way back to happiness or who are just looking for inspiration in the experiences of others.
February 19, 2016
"My cat is older than many fashion models. I won't even discuss the fact that she also weighs more."
"After a certain age, you finally become the indisputable authority on the subject of yourself."
"But after all, vanity in girls is encouraged; pride is discouraged. If this were not the case, there would be ego moisturizers alongside the ones for your face."
This book by Gina Barreca is both memoir and self-help. She cuts to the chase on life lessons that anyone can benefit from, but particularly women. I sure could have used a lot of these insights in my youth, but in Gina's own words, "If we're all going to be old dogs, we'd better be willing to learn some new tricks. The fun part is this: there are also some new treats."
Gina can shine a light on some of our darkest secrets and make us laugh about them. So yes, I do recommend this book. Read it straight through, or in bits and pieces, because it will lift your spirits and your esteem while offering hope that things can always get better, especially once you can laugh about it.
"After a certain age, you finally become the indisputable authority on the subject of yourself."
"But after all, vanity in girls is encouraged; pride is discouraged. If this were not the case, there would be ego moisturizers alongside the ones for your face."
This book by Gina Barreca is both memoir and self-help. She cuts to the chase on life lessons that anyone can benefit from, but particularly women. I sure could have used a lot of these insights in my youth, but in Gina's own words, "If we're all going to be old dogs, we'd better be willing to learn some new tricks. The fun part is this: there are also some new treats."
Gina can shine a light on some of our darkest secrets and make us laugh about them. So yes, I do recommend this book. Read it straight through, or in bits and pieces, because it will lift your spirits and your esteem while offering hope that things can always get better, especially once you can laugh about it.
March 2, 2016
Sugar, spice, and everything nice - or maybe just wit, compassion, and some downright truth. Gina Barreca ties it all together in this latest book which I've read several times and still find just as funny and charming as I did the first. IF YOU LEAN IN takes you on a very real, but not as scary, roller-coaster ride through the ups, downs, and ups again of life, leaving a tear (from your heart being touched or your funny bone being tickled) after every chapter. Definitely worth the read, a hundred times over. This is the kind of book you can read at 18, 38, or 80, and still find its relevance and familiarity in your heart.
March 16, 2016
"If You Lean In, Will Men Just Look Down Your Blouse?" is a seriously humorous, humorously serious collection of short essays arranged into seven themes ranging from crazy families to bad boyfriends. I’m not smack the bull’s eye of the target audience, but I’ll entertain an orgasm’s Weltenschauung “in her own words” any day.
A Friar’s Club member, the author is hoot on stage. This book is like having one’s very own copy. Each essay speaks with that same voice that keeps audiences (mixed gender) rolling. However, Standup Comedy Gina doesn’t go nearly as deep as this book. The audience laughs and thinks and laughs, but her repartee never completely pulls back the curtain on the person within.
Writer Gina (at least nearing 60-year-old Writer Gina—yikes!) has no such reserve. Rather, she clearly lays bare her soul. While full of fun and thought-provoking observation, many of the stories cut deep into the serious business of what makes her her. The prospect of airing the dirty laundry of one’s secret self can make writing in the first person terrifying. No such trepidation for Gina, though. She speaks boldly and plainly about her shrinks and her divorce, her parents’ deaths and her sexual history and desires.
And, that’s essential. She mentors the reader, and a mentor must, above all, lead by example. Several chapters are rather prescriptive, albeit tongue in cheek, with lists of should and shouldn’t dos in this or that situation or in the general situation of life. The overarching shouldn’t do is (paraphrasing): Honey, you shouldn’t give a hoot about what others think. Dr. Barreca’s writing demonstrates great mastery of that one.
A Friar’s Club member, the author is hoot on stage. This book is like having one’s very own copy. Each essay speaks with that same voice that keeps audiences (mixed gender) rolling. However, Standup Comedy Gina doesn’t go nearly as deep as this book. The audience laughs and thinks and laughs, but her repartee never completely pulls back the curtain on the person within.
Writer Gina (at least nearing 60-year-old Writer Gina—yikes!) has no such reserve. Rather, she clearly lays bare her soul. While full of fun and thought-provoking observation, many of the stories cut deep into the serious business of what makes her her. The prospect of airing the dirty laundry of one’s secret self can make writing in the first person terrifying. No such trepidation for Gina, though. She speaks boldly and plainly about her shrinks and her divorce, her parents’ deaths and her sexual history and desires.
And, that’s essential. She mentors the reader, and a mentor must, above all, lead by example. Several chapters are rather prescriptive, albeit tongue in cheek, with lists of should and shouldn’t dos in this or that situation or in the general situation of life. The overarching shouldn’t do is (paraphrasing): Honey, you shouldn’t give a hoot about what others think. Dr. Barreca’s writing demonstrates great mastery of that one.
July 29, 2016
Gina Barreca’s If You Lean In, Will Men Just Look Down Your Blouse? is a rich, generous and honest book. Its appeal is not limited to women, and maybe it’s best to say it would be a gift to any conscious man. But right now, I see it as a perfect gift for my granddaughter, a savvy college student who can really profit from Gina’s talk about relationships–the most honest, useful, and serious discussion I have ever seen. This book has the characteristic wit of Gina’s books, but it also has the advantage of the wisdom acquired through a life well lived. I was moved by the stories of Gina’s family, especially the description of her father’s last months and the letter that Gina writes to her mother, who died when Gina was 16. And as a literary person, I particularly loved the takedowns of the badly written mega-best sellers that demean women: Twilight and The 50 Shades of Grey. In her advice to her younger self, she says something that I will hold dear forever: “there is no sin except wasting time.” Every moment with this book, no matter how delicious or how arousing, is no sin.
November 30, 2016
I very rarely read non-fiction/opinionated essays. So I'm finding it a bit hard to review this collection of essays! I read a couple of essays that Barreca wrote in this book - and in all these essays, the common thing her essays elicited was laughs from me. Barreca has a unique way of writing - she's very concise and gets straight to the point. The way she satirises is quite profound - I know I hadn't thought of some of the things she brought up in her essays.
I also loved how all the essays were relevant to many different women - regardless of age, race or any other division. Although at times, I couldn't relate to some of the things Barreca brought up (I'm only in my late teens...), I still read through her essays, because they were just so humorous!
All in all - a good book to pick up if you're in the mood for some satire! :)
I also loved how all the essays were relevant to many different women - regardless of age, race or any other division. Although at times, I couldn't relate to some of the things Barreca brought up (I'm only in my late teens...), I still read through her essays, because they were just so humorous!
All in all - a good book to pick up if you're in the mood for some satire! :)
October 14, 2019
I couldn't resist getting the book from the library, based on the title. It's a fine book, but I think the title is the part I liked best.
It's a collection of Gina Barreca's short essays, humanist/feminist advice and perspective with a bit of humor.
I skipped around the book and did not read all the essays.
It's a collection of Gina Barreca's short essays, humanist/feminist advice and perspective with a bit of humor.
I skipped around the book and did not read all the essays.
April 15, 2018
The title made me laugh every time I looked at it. A couple chapters really resonated with me. I was expecting a book that would light a fire & make me want to revolt against society, but it felt more like offhanded musings.
April 24, 2024
What a title for a hilarious and insightful guide book! There were chapters on themes that I have yet to explore in my life such as marriage and moving out of the family house, and chapters on pop culture that seriously need to be addressed like Chapters 60 and 61: "What's Wrong with Twilight" and Fifty Shades of Stupidity" (I don't exactly recall the terms Gina Barreca used for these two masterpieces but the message got across well!
Can't wait to read more from Gina Barreca!
Can't wait to read more from Gina Barreca!
December 29, 2020
This is a book that stays with you. Literally. I bought a copy when it came out and I'm just getting to the review. But it's just that kind of book--one you can keep handy when you have some time to catch up on reading. This collection of humorous and insightful essays will make you chuckle, laugh and sigh...sometimes all in the same one. The titular essay is one I've come back to several times for its honesty and candor...something we all need in our lives. In addition to humor and just darn good advice, there are lists. I love lists. Many are very handy, but I like The Epilogue - What Everyone Must Stop Doing Right Now (still guilty of #1, 2 and 6) which feels like a companion piece to Chapter 8 - Bring Your Sense of Humor . . . and Nineteen More Rules To Live By. I've read Gina Barreca for years and look forward to continuing for a long time to come.
June 19, 2016
Gain Barreca Asks, “If You Lean In, Will Men Just Look Down Your Blouse?”
What kind of woman would write an essay from the point of view of a female orgasm? That would be Gina Barreca, feminist humor scholar, humorist, philosopher and all round gadfly. For decades, she’s been writing entertaining and illuminating columns that share her insights and observations on everything from pop culture to politics.
You can count on Gina for essays that are fun, feminist and provocative. She always speaks her mind, and often says exactly what I’d like to say -- only she says it better. In this political cycle, for instance, she penned my favorite Hillary-troll-bashing piece, the sharp and witty “Hillary is a Woman Who Doesn’t Know Her Place.” And to have a nationally syndicated columnist who is my age, articulate as hell, wildly successful and a die-hard feminist? That’s fabulous.
I first became aware of Barecca with her first book, an analysis of women‘s humor called “They Used To Call Me Snow White.. But I Drifted: Women’s Strategic Use of Humor.” At the time, I was editing collections of humor by women. My sole criteria for including a piece? If a submission made me laugh, it went in the book. If it didn’t, I left it out. I often couldn’t articulate exactly why a piece was funny. I could only say, as Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart one said about pornography, “I know it when I see it.” Reading Barreca, a feminist humor scholar who had studied -- extensively -- what women laugh at and why (and why some so-called funny stuff didn’t amuse us at all) taught me a lot about what I was doing. (And made me sound like less of an idiot when I was being interviewed about my books.)
Barecca’s latest book isn’t a scholarly work, but a new collection of her humorous essays called “If You Lean In, Will Men Just Look Down Your Blouse?: Questions and Thoughts for Loud, Smart Women in Turbulent Times.“ (St. Martin’s Press). Most first ran in the Hartford Courant, Psychology Today and The Chronicle Of Higher Education.
Although the book’s subtitle states that it’s for “loud, smart women,” you don’t have to be loud to love it. I’m a soft-spoken librarian and I savored each essay. Even the titles are fun. “If You Run With Bad Crowd, Can You Call It Exercise?”The Cheap Motel Backside of Facebook” “Why We Know That When Guys Make Slurping Sounds At Us On The Street, It Isn‘t a Compliment” “‘Happily Married’ Is Not An Oxymoron” And my favorite? “Girlfriends: As Essential as Cupcakes and Revenge.”
And then there’s Gina’s riff from the viewpoint of the female orgasm, which is just a gem. “I’m neither elusive nor a mystery once you get to know me -- and I certainly hope you will,” she begins. After a look at a number of turn-ons (intimacy, comfort, honesty) and turn-offs (distraction, deadlines, fakery) that most of us will recognize, she concludes with this advice: “If I’m elusive or mysterious to you, kiddo, maybe you’re not doing something right.”
Amen, sister!
“If You Lean In” isn’t the kind of book you’ll bomb through in one sitting. Instead, put it on your night stand or your coffee table, and read an essay or two at a time. My own preference is to read Barecca’s work aloud to the man in my life, a practice that has inspired plenty of laughter as well as some memorable conversations.
Needless to say, it would make an ideal book club selection.
In conclusion? “If You Lean In” is a thoroughly enjoyable read. But will reading Barreca’s book evoke a mental response that’s as powerful as a female orgasm? There’s only one way to find out!
(Roz Warren is the author of OUR BODIES, OUR SHELVES: A COLLECTION OF LIBRARY HUMOR. This review first ran on www.womensvoicesforchange.org.)
What kind of woman would write an essay from the point of view of a female orgasm? That would be Gina Barreca, feminist humor scholar, humorist, philosopher and all round gadfly. For decades, she’s been writing entertaining and illuminating columns that share her insights and observations on everything from pop culture to politics.
You can count on Gina for essays that are fun, feminist and provocative. She always speaks her mind, and often says exactly what I’d like to say -- only she says it better. In this political cycle, for instance, she penned my favorite Hillary-troll-bashing piece, the sharp and witty “Hillary is a Woman Who Doesn’t Know Her Place.” And to have a nationally syndicated columnist who is my age, articulate as hell, wildly successful and a die-hard feminist? That’s fabulous.
I first became aware of Barecca with her first book, an analysis of women‘s humor called “They Used To Call Me Snow White.. But I Drifted: Women’s Strategic Use of Humor.” At the time, I was editing collections of humor by women. My sole criteria for including a piece? If a submission made me laugh, it went in the book. If it didn’t, I left it out. I often couldn’t articulate exactly why a piece was funny. I could only say, as Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart one said about pornography, “I know it when I see it.” Reading Barreca, a feminist humor scholar who had studied -- extensively -- what women laugh at and why (and why some so-called funny stuff didn’t amuse us at all) taught me a lot about what I was doing. (And made me sound like less of an idiot when I was being interviewed about my books.)
Barecca’s latest book isn’t a scholarly work, but a new collection of her humorous essays called “If You Lean In, Will Men Just Look Down Your Blouse?: Questions and Thoughts for Loud, Smart Women in Turbulent Times.“ (St. Martin’s Press). Most first ran in the Hartford Courant, Psychology Today and The Chronicle Of Higher Education.
Although the book’s subtitle states that it’s for “loud, smart women,” you don’t have to be loud to love it. I’m a soft-spoken librarian and I savored each essay. Even the titles are fun. “If You Run With Bad Crowd, Can You Call It Exercise?”The Cheap Motel Backside of Facebook” “Why We Know That When Guys Make Slurping Sounds At Us On The Street, It Isn‘t a Compliment” “‘Happily Married’ Is Not An Oxymoron” And my favorite? “Girlfriends: As Essential as Cupcakes and Revenge.”
And then there’s Gina’s riff from the viewpoint of the female orgasm, which is just a gem. “I’m neither elusive nor a mystery once you get to know me -- and I certainly hope you will,” she begins. After a look at a number of turn-ons (intimacy, comfort, honesty) and turn-offs (distraction, deadlines, fakery) that most of us will recognize, she concludes with this advice: “If I’m elusive or mysterious to you, kiddo, maybe you’re not doing something right.”
Amen, sister!
“If You Lean In” isn’t the kind of book you’ll bomb through in one sitting. Instead, put it on your night stand or your coffee table, and read an essay or two at a time. My own preference is to read Barecca’s work aloud to the man in my life, a practice that has inspired plenty of laughter as well as some memorable conversations.
Needless to say, it would make an ideal book club selection.
In conclusion? “If You Lean In” is a thoroughly enjoyable read. But will reading Barreca’s book evoke a mental response that’s as powerful as a female orgasm? There’s only one way to find out!
(Roz Warren is the author of OUR BODIES, OUR SHELVES: A COLLECTION OF LIBRARY HUMOR. This review first ran on www.womensvoicesforchange.org.)
March 16, 2016
Being a woman and other “inconveniences”
In this book entitled “If you Lean In, will men look down your blouse,” author Gina Barreca offers a no holds barred look at the day-to-day life of being a woman in a male-dominated world. Whether it is about work, education, being wife and/or mother and other monotonies of life, being a lady is a tough business. But exploring this world through the eyes of a rational woman refreshes your thoughts and offers new perspectives. In this collection of essays, University of Connecticut Professor Gina Barreca makes you laugh and sometime cry for this material world not being ideal for a woman.
There are many stories and solutions derived from a woman’s daily experiences. The state of joy in life and happiness in a married relationship is thermodynamically unattainable. Why should a woman act shallow because she is beautiful or her hair looks great? The author examines some of the following topics;
1. Why guys make slurping sounds at us on the street
2. Good girls say no – and woman should, too
3. What makes an apology real?
4. When a mother doesn’t like being a mom
5. Sex talk in the park
6. When a friend faces a divorce
7. To a young friend who is not happy at her job
In the essay, “Good girls say no – and woman should, too” the author observes “good girls get knocked up because bad girls know better and good women are exploited, taken for granted, overrun by the needs of others…..” Her advice is say, yes only when you mean it.
With her intimate conversation and a dry sense of humor, Barreca sounds more like Gene Weingarten, Linda Nochlin, Nora Ephron, Robin Bryant, Suzanne Bates, and Judith Viorst or stand-up comedian Kathy Griffin. These essays are nice lessons for readers from this UConn Professor who teaches feminist literary theory and English literature.
In this book entitled “If you Lean In, will men look down your blouse,” author Gina Barreca offers a no holds barred look at the day-to-day life of being a woman in a male-dominated world. Whether it is about work, education, being wife and/or mother and other monotonies of life, being a lady is a tough business. But exploring this world through the eyes of a rational woman refreshes your thoughts and offers new perspectives. In this collection of essays, University of Connecticut Professor Gina Barreca makes you laugh and sometime cry for this material world not being ideal for a woman.
There are many stories and solutions derived from a woman’s daily experiences. The state of joy in life and happiness in a married relationship is thermodynamically unattainable. Why should a woman act shallow because she is beautiful or her hair looks great? The author examines some of the following topics;
1. Why guys make slurping sounds at us on the street
2. Good girls say no – and woman should, too
3. What makes an apology real?
4. When a mother doesn’t like being a mom
5. Sex talk in the park
6. When a friend faces a divorce
7. To a young friend who is not happy at her job
In the essay, “Good girls say no – and woman should, too” the author observes “good girls get knocked up because bad girls know better and good women are exploited, taken for granted, overrun by the needs of others…..” Her advice is say, yes only when you mean it.
With her intimate conversation and a dry sense of humor, Barreca sounds more like Gene Weingarten, Linda Nochlin, Nora Ephron, Robin Bryant, Suzanne Bates, and Judith Viorst or stand-up comedian Kathy Griffin. These essays are nice lessons for readers from this UConn Professor who teaches feminist literary theory and English literature.
March 30, 2016
I’ve been reading Gina Barreca’s columns in my local newspaper for years. I love her brash attitude that reminds me so much of my own, her exasperation at injustices that no one should allow – no one!, and her talent for capturing just the right facet of a social issue to make a difference.
The dozens of essays in this book are tied together by section headings such as “I’m not needy; I’m wanty” and “If you met my family, you’d understand,” but more importantly woven together by the exploration of feminism.
Barreca doesn’t bash men or bash women who like men. She doesn’t tell me I can’t wear pantyhose or I have to be pro-choice or I shouldn’t read smut. What I think Barreca says is that women should do what they do for themselves. For themselves! What a concept. If cooking for your husband makes you happy, do it. But don’t do it because he tells you to, because you feel worthless to him if you don’t, or because society tells you that’s all you have to offer if you’re a housewife. Get it? Read the book. You’ll get it.
For me, it was nice that someone put a bunch of my thoughts into rational written form and then published it for all to read. For others, Barecca might not echo your exact thinking, but she will give you some food for thought.
http://randombookmuses.com/2016/03/30...
https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...
NetGalley provided an advance copy in exchange for an honest review.
The dozens of essays in this book are tied together by section headings such as “I’m not needy; I’m wanty” and “If you met my family, you’d understand,” but more importantly woven together by the exploration of feminism.
Barreca doesn’t bash men or bash women who like men. She doesn’t tell me I can’t wear pantyhose or I have to be pro-choice or I shouldn’t read smut. What I think Barreca says is that women should do what they do for themselves. For themselves! What a concept. If cooking for your husband makes you happy, do it. But don’t do it because he tells you to, because you feel worthless to him if you don’t, or because society tells you that’s all you have to offer if you’re a housewife. Get it? Read the book. You’ll get it.
For me, it was nice that someone put a bunch of my thoughts into rational written form and then published it for all to read. For others, Barecca might not echo your exact thinking, but she will give you some food for thought.
http://randombookmuses.com/2016/03/30...
https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...
NetGalley provided an advance copy in exchange for an honest review.
May 24, 2016
This is one of those cases in which the expectations I brought to a book colored my opinion. I read a column by Gina Barreca and thought I'd really enjoy one of her books, which is a compilation of columns/essays.
I was expecting feminist cultural critique, and the columns fitting that category were the good part of this book. I especially liked the one from which the title for the book is taken, which has a lot to say about male privilege, and how "just like one of the guys" is a compliment while "acting like a girl "is an insult. However, many of the columns are life relationship advice--trust that you'll get over a broken heart, treasure your friends, etc--and that wasn't what I was expecting or wanting. She writes from her personal experience so there's no reporting to give the advice some depth.
I also was expecting the book to be funnier than it was.
I still will be interested in reading Barreca's columns in the future, as I think they will be more palatable one at a time rather than in book format.
I was expecting feminist cultural critique, and the columns fitting that category were the good part of this book. I especially liked the one from which the title for the book is taken, which has a lot to say about male privilege, and how "just like one of the guys" is a compliment while "acting like a girl "is an insult. However, many of the columns are life relationship advice--trust that you'll get over a broken heart, treasure your friends, etc--and that wasn't what I was expecting or wanting. She writes from her personal experience so there's no reporting to give the advice some depth.
I also was expecting the book to be funnier than it was.
I still will be interested in reading Barreca's columns in the future, as I think they will be more palatable one at a time rather than in book format.
October 8, 2018
If you haven't heard of Gina Barreca, where have you been?! Gina's witty columns about love, family, politics, marriage and feminism are published in blogs and newspaper columns the world over. Her book, "If You Lean In, Will Men Just Look Down Your Blouse?," is a collection of some of these essays about what it means to be a woman today.
Each essay is insightful and truthful, with a huge dash of humour. She tells it like it is, the good and the bad, but in such a funny way, you feel like you're gossiping with your BFF and laughing so much, everyone around you will wonder what the heck you're talking about!
I loved each and every essay but... they're more suitable as standalone articles on blogs and magazines than as a book. After reading 3 essays, I was like, "this is funny but I need a break now." Talk about getting too much of a good thing. But if you only have 10 mins a day to read, this is perfect. You can read one essay a day, boost your self-esteem and have a good laugh.
Each essay is insightful and truthful, with a huge dash of humour. She tells it like it is, the good and the bad, but in such a funny way, you feel like you're gossiping with your BFF and laughing so much, everyone around you will wonder what the heck you're talking about!
I loved each and every essay but... they're more suitable as standalone articles on blogs and magazines than as a book. After reading 3 essays, I was like, "this is funny but I need a break now." Talk about getting too much of a good thing. But if you only have 10 mins a day to read, this is perfect. You can read one essay a day, boost your self-esteem and have a good laugh.
October 24, 2016
In the spirit of honest reporting, Gina's brother told me about her books when I was talking with him about some nuanced and painful sexism at my fairly high-level work. So I was a little biased, but only for a minute. This book steeled my resolve, choked me up and above all, made me laugh. And did I mention laugh? This collection of short commentaries is wide-ranging in topic--from politics to family; it is nutritious and insightful and funny and moving.
For years my semi-joking motto has been, "when on the ladder of success, don't let the guys look up your dress," so this was just what I needed. Given what's going on in the US political scene, it might be what we all need.
For years my semi-joking motto has been, "when on the ladder of success, don't let the guys look up your dress," so this was just what I needed. Given what's going on in the US political scene, it might be what we all need.
June 20, 2017
Gina's book is the perfect way to fit in a good read about love, loss, humor and honest before bed, in the waiting room, wherever! I've brought this book around to so many places that I lost the cover. It's my go-to and it always seems to give me what I need. Like a fortune cookie from a greasy Chinese restaurant, it offers the most unexpected delight and a light treat at the end of a long day (that obviously wasn't a good one b/c it ended with greasy Chinese food). MOST OF ALL, in Gina's book I see that there's a tribe of women out there just like me, loud-laughing, honest, realistic and ready to take on the world no matter what hairballs it throws at us.
May 20, 2017
My criticism of Barreca's book is about structure, rather than content. It's a collection of previously published columns, opinion pieces and blog posts for different publications, arranged topically. Reading it from beginning to end was tedious. Each individual essay was fine; some were better than that--even poignant, but taken collectively, too much of a good thing. Even dipping into them one or two a night was too much.
Barreca is witty, with a crisp style and very topical, but these work better as stand-alone pieces rather than a collection.
Barreca is witty, with a crisp style and very topical, but these work better as stand-alone pieces rather than a collection.
May 9, 2017
A collection of essays that are a bit hit and miss for me. Some of them are very insightful as well as funny, while others are decidedly meh. People who aren't already very familiar with feminist writings might get more out of it.
*I received an ARC through Netgalley, the review is my own opinion.*
*I received an ARC through Netgalley, the review is my own opinion.*
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