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Talk Before Sleep
"Until that moment, I hadn't realized how much I'd been needing to meet someone I might be able to say everything to."
They met at a party. It was hate at first sight. Ruth was far too beautiful, too flamboyant. Not at all Ann's kind of person. Until a chance encounter in the bathroom led to an alliance of souls. Soon they were sharing hankies during the late showing of "Sophie's Choice," wolfing down sundaes sodden with whipped cream, telling truths of marriage, mortality, and love, secure in a kind of intimacy no man could ever know. Only best friends understand devil's food cake for breakfast when nothing else will do. After years of shared secrets, guilty pleasures, family life and divorce, they face a crisis that redefines the meaning of friendship and unconditional love.
They met at a party. It was hate at first sight. Ruth was far too beautiful, too flamboyant. Not at all Ann's kind of person. Until a chance encounter in the bathroom led to an alliance of souls. Soon they were sharing hankies during the late showing of "Sophie's Choice," wolfing down sundaes sodden with whipped cream, telling truths of marriage, mortality, and love, secure in a kind of intimacy no man could ever know. Only best friends understand devil's food cake for breakfast when nothing else will do. After years of shared secrets, guilty pleasures, family life and divorce, they face a crisis that redefines the meaning of friendship and unconditional love.
240 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1993
About the author
Elizabeth Berg
51 books4,763 followersElizabeth Berg is the author of many bestselling novels, including The Story of Arthur Truluv, Open House (an Oprah’s Book Club selection), Talk Before Sleep, and The Year of Pleasures, as well as the short story collection The Day I Ate Whatever I Wanted. Durable Goods and Joy School were selected as ALA Best Books of the Year. She adapted The Pull of the Moon into a play that enjoyed sold-out performances in Chicago and Indianapolis. Berg’s work has been published in thirty countries, and three of her novels have been turned into television movies. She is the founder of Writing Matters, a quality reading series dedicated to serving author, audience, and community. She teaches one-day writing workshops and is a popular speaker at venues around the country. Some of her most popular Facebook postings have been collected in Make Someone Happy and Still Happy. She lives outside Chicago.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 971 reviews
March 10, 2023
I am so happy this one didn’t slip away from me. I had just finished a very long string of “must reads” (Net Galley, read-for-review, and Libby books that had come due) and for once in a very long while was “allowed” to pick any book off my kindle. This one I saw within my first 10 seconds of searching, and I thought, why not? Why not indeed. It has been on my shelf for something like 7-8 years and on my kindle for almost as long. And it’s on my AAA (stands for “so good I must read it before I die”) shelf. So I picked it. And I’m so glad I did.
Gosh, this book is equal parts incredibly sad, humorous, and inspiring. We know from page one that it is about the journey of best friends, one who is dying of metastatic breast cancer. The story is composed of vignettes posing as chapters—some taking place in the past and some in the present (which is actually the 1980s). The chapters are very short, which I loved and made the read exceptionally fast. I also loved the protagonist Ann, her dying friend Ruth, and the other women devoted to Ruth—L.D., Helen, and Sarah.
This book more than anything is about the gift of female friendship. Ruth and Ann, though different in many ways, are able to tell each other anything. Anything at all and to be totally honest at the same time. How many people have the privilege of a friend like that? Especially when one is dying. What an utterly lonely road that must be without someone there, someone willing to be with you every step of the way. Again, this book is very sad, but also so uplifting and inspiring (and so damn funny) that I didn’t know whether to laugh, cheer, or cry. So I did all three.
What I most took out of the experience of reading this one is an appreciation of the power of a close friendship. Though Ruth had four close friendships, I think one is enough. I wish for everyone in the world to have a relationship like Ruth and Ann had. It would make living—and dying—so much easier, so much more fulfilling.
I will definitely be reading more from Elizabeth Berg.
Gosh, this book is equal parts incredibly sad, humorous, and inspiring. We know from page one that it is about the journey of best friends, one who is dying of metastatic breast cancer. The story is composed of vignettes posing as chapters—some taking place in the past and some in the present (which is actually the 1980s). The chapters are very short, which I loved and made the read exceptionally fast. I also loved the protagonist Ann, her dying friend Ruth, and the other women devoted to Ruth—L.D., Helen, and Sarah.
This book more than anything is about the gift of female friendship. Ruth and Ann, though different in many ways, are able to tell each other anything. Anything at all and to be totally honest at the same time. How many people have the privilege of a friend like that? Especially when one is dying. What an utterly lonely road that must be without someone there, someone willing to be with you every step of the way. Again, this book is very sad, but also so uplifting and inspiring (and so damn funny) that I didn’t know whether to laugh, cheer, or cry. So I did all three.
What I most took out of the experience of reading this one is an appreciation of the power of a close friendship. Though Ruth had four close friendships, I think one is enough. I wish for everyone in the world to have a relationship like Ruth and Ann had. It would make living—and dying—so much easier, so much more fulfilling.
I will definitely be reading more from Elizabeth Berg.
April 1, 2007
Talk Before Sleep is a novel that overwhelmed me. I became totally involved with the characters, and find myself unable to analyze this book or discuss it unemotionally. It is a novel that I actually “felt” – the emotion is real, strong, and beautiful, and if there are flaws with the book’s structure, I am unable to identify them. The experience of reading this novel was rich, personal and deeply moving.
Talk Before Sleep is a novel about women and about the bonds between them. It is a story about friendship, personal growth, fear, love and faith.
Ann Stanley and Ruth Thomas are in their early 40s, and are the best of friends. They are like soul mates; sharing their joy and pain, hopes and disappointments.
When Ruth is diagnosed with breast cancer, she, Ann, and a small but tight group of friends find their world turned upside down. They are forced to deal with the painful reality of Ruth’s illness, and the shocking fragility of her mortality. Berg writes the book from Ann’s perspective, but manages to share the hopes and fears of every woman in this circle of friends. What the reader takes away is a very moving story about strength, loyalty and love.
“She had one lung removed. I brought her a huge bouquet, purple and blue for healing, white because she loved white, and no carnations because she hated them. I gave her chest tube a name, Charles, because she was afraid of it. I held her hand when they pulled it. “Now,” she said, after they’d put a dressing on. “Back to business. I’m really tired of these constant interruptions.” She said something like that after she found out it was in her bones, too. Then, when it was in her brain, she quit saying it. When the work gets too hard, you stop talking about it. You just try to do it.” (Talk Before Sleep, page 114)
It is passages like this one that totally absorbed me into this novel. Berg doesn’t share detailed descriptions of the progression of the cancer. She doesn’t discuss the physical manifestations of the disease. Rather, she subtly shares the experience of each of these women, and how dealing with Ruth’s illness changes their lives and their awareness of each other.
Berg shares the importance of friendship between women, and how we are somehow more whole when we share our lives with our female friends. Through these women and their interactions, we witness personal growth in these women, and we are inspired by their strength. Berg’s writing makes it easy for the reader to also see the strength and growth in ourselves.
I won’t ruin the story for you, if I tell you that Ruth does succumb to her disease, and that, after an admirable fight, she leaves this world and her closest friends behind. The story, however, is not one of sadness and death, it is one of faith and of the power of love to survive death and loss.
“I don’t want to take anything,“ I say. “I want to leave things for you to come back to.”
She nods, and I see the shine of tears in her eyes as she looks around her bedroom. “I don’t think I’m coming back, though.”
“But I want you to,“ I say. I am being nonsensical. I am acting like a child, I know it. This can’t be helping her.
“I will come back as a little breeze, “ she says. “You will feel me on your face, and you will know that I’m still listening. So you can still talk to me.”
(Talk Before Sleep, page 183)
Obviously I recommend this book. It is a book that I want to share with my women friends; a book that reminds me that even when life is hard, I am blessed with true friends, and with their love and support.
April 9, 2015
I read this book when it was first written and then again a few years ago.
I gave it to my mother to read as well as a few friends. It became a favorite and remains one still.
I was about 21 when it first came out. I was interested in the friendships of the women in the story and now that I am older I feel I relate even more to the issues surrounding them.
Elizabeth Berg knows how to write about women.
This is a novel about true friendship, love, and loss. The feelings of love the friends have for each other will strike the hearts of those readers lucky enough to have friends like these women.
An excellent book that will stir up all your emotions. Beautifully written story.
Highly recommended.
I gave it to my mother to read as well as a few friends. It became a favorite and remains one still.
I was about 21 when it first came out. I was interested in the friendships of the women in the story and now that I am older I feel I relate even more to the issues surrounding them.
Elizabeth Berg knows how to write about women.
This is a novel about true friendship, love, and loss. The feelings of love the friends have for each other will strike the hearts of those readers lucky enough to have friends like these women.
An excellent book that will stir up all your emotions. Beautifully written story.
Highly recommended.
July 27, 2023
Ruth is vibrant, adventuresome, artistic, attractive, and some would describe as larger-than-life itself. At age 43 she is also dying of cancer.
Although she has many friends, Ann is her soulmate. Her loyalty is unshakable. She stands by her as she loses so much of her physical self to the disease. She even bears witness to her friend's affairs and her divorce from her husband Eric, a self-absorbed lawyer who goes on to marry another woman.
This novel probes the rewards and challenges of friendship in a death watch setting which is heightened by emotions and shifting moods.
Ruth's character has an appetite for life which under the circumstances makes one grateful to be alive in this moment.
Ann is a reflective and intense person who matches Ruth's energy.
It is wonderful to see a story about friendship that accentuates the love and intimacy that can exist between women caring and supporting one another through anything.
And yes, I was spoiled again...this was a donation to my Little Free Library Shed. Now it is a review for you.
Although she has many friends, Ann is her soulmate. Her loyalty is unshakable. She stands by her as she loses so much of her physical self to the disease. She even bears witness to her friend's affairs and her divorce from her husband Eric, a self-absorbed lawyer who goes on to marry another woman.
This novel probes the rewards and challenges of friendship in a death watch setting which is heightened by emotions and shifting moods.
Ruth's character has an appetite for life which under the circumstances makes one grateful to be alive in this moment.
Ann is a reflective and intense person who matches Ruth's energy.
It is wonderful to see a story about friendship that accentuates the love and intimacy that can exist between women caring and supporting one another through anything.
And yes, I was spoiled again...this was a donation to my Little Free Library Shed. Now it is a review for you.
July 21, 2016
Elizabeth Berg is an expert at writing dialogue between women, and expressing how women draw strength and understanding from their close female friends. In "Talk Before Sleep" Ann Stanley is helping to care for her best friend, Ruth Thomas, in her losing fight with metastatic breast cancer. She is joined by three other friends of Ruth who each offer support in their own way.
Ann is a former nurse, a quiet woman who is devoted to her family. Ruth, an artist, is more unconventional and spontaneous. When Ruth is facing death in her early forties, Ann is dreading losing her best friend. Ann also realizes she will be losing that vibrant spark in her life, the person who helps Ann enjoy life more fully and exposes her to new experiences. Ruth also had her own emotional journey to travel with the support of her beloved friends.
The story is told with a lot of humor, especially in the flashbacks to happier days. It also shows the joys and sorrows in the women's roles as wives and mothers. The men in the book are not well developed characters, but are presented as stereotypical "types". But that is not too important since the spotlight is on the connection that female friendships provide.
Ann is a former nurse, a quiet woman who is devoted to her family. Ruth, an artist, is more unconventional and spontaneous. When Ruth is facing death in her early forties, Ann is dreading losing her best friend. Ann also realizes she will be losing that vibrant spark in her life, the person who helps Ann enjoy life more fully and exposes her to new experiences. Ruth also had her own emotional journey to travel with the support of her beloved friends.
The story is told with a lot of humor, especially in the flashbacks to happier days. It also shows the joys and sorrows in the women's roles as wives and mothers. The men in the book are not well developed characters, but are presented as stereotypical "types". But that is not too important since the spotlight is on the connection that female friendships provide.
May 22, 2015
This is a novel about two middle-aged women, Ruth and Ann, best friends, one of whom is dying of cancer, the other of whom is taking care of her. The scenes concerning Ruth's illness are interspersed with flashback-style scenes depicting Ruth and Ann's friendship in the years before she became sick. The scenes regarding Ruth's cancer and Ann's caretaking were sometimes beautiful and wise. The flashback scenes were typical women's fiction stuff where they complained endlessly about their husbands and how trapped they felt in their marriages, while giving no indication that they'd ever attempted to have honest conversations with their husbands as if they were actual human beings. I'm allergic to that, in real life and in books. Then I started thinking about the arc of women's fiction, how characters start off in chick lit longing to be married with every fiber of their being, and then graduate to women's fiction, where they behave as if their husbands are inconsiderate houseguests who never leave. I find it depressing. But, uh, like I said, the cancer stuff was good.
December 23, 2015
This is the kind of novel I normally don't love to read. It is probably chick lit and it is definitely meant to be a tear-jerker. The thing is, I have watched the slow death of someone I love and I think Berg probably has as well. She gets some of the most important aspects of that right.
"How is it that we dare to honk at others in traffic, when we know nothing about where they have just come from or what they are on their way to?"
"I remember the exact order of the canned soup in the cupboard, and then I think, well, it's probably been changed now, and that terrifies me. I want to go home. I just want to go home. Can't you understand that?" -- I could understand it perfectly. I have so often wanted to go home, which is just wanting to go back in time, just wanting to go back to something that sadly no longer exists anywhere.
"Our conversations are silly--about nothing, really, less and less consequential. But they are comforting to both of us, I know. They remind me of what we talk about before we go to sleep, any of us, the lazy, low-voiced assurances we offer each other...Always we're just checking to see that we're safe. I've always thought that was the funniest thing, given the vastness of the dark we lie down in."
I never actually thought I knew these women. I didn't relate completely to the lives they lead. Still, there is a deeper truth about them, about all of us, that Berg taps. I thought of my mother's long struggle. I thought of my sister breathing out of this world so softly and leaving me desperate to have one more conversation, one more laugh. Berg made me cry, and I learned early on that one of the great meanings of literature is catharsis.
"How is it that we dare to honk at others in traffic, when we know nothing about where they have just come from or what they are on their way to?"
"I remember the exact order of the canned soup in the cupboard, and then I think, well, it's probably been changed now, and that terrifies me. I want to go home. I just want to go home. Can't you understand that?" -- I could understand it perfectly. I have so often wanted to go home, which is just wanting to go back in time, just wanting to go back to something that sadly no longer exists anywhere.
"Our conversations are silly--about nothing, really, less and less consequential. But they are comforting to both of us, I know. They remind me of what we talk about before we go to sleep, any of us, the lazy, low-voiced assurances we offer each other...Always we're just checking to see that we're safe. I've always thought that was the funniest thing, given the vastness of the dark we lie down in."
I never actually thought I knew these women. I didn't relate completely to the lives they lead. Still, there is a deeper truth about them, about all of us, that Berg taps. I thought of my mother's long struggle. I thought of my sister breathing out of this world so softly and leaving me desperate to have one more conversation, one more laugh. Berg made me cry, and I learned early on that one of the great meanings of literature is catharsis.
June 14, 2021
This would make a great fictional counterpart to Gail Caldwell’s
Let’s Take the Long Way Home
and Ann Patchett’s Truth and Beauty, books that celebrate the strength of female friendship. Ruth, a divorcee with a college-age son, is dying of metastatic breast cancer and Ann and their group of friends have become like her substitute family, trading overnight shifts at Ruth’s house and bringing her extravagant treats like ice cream and lobster with McDonald’s French fries to distract from the pain and lethargy. Ann’s narration moves between these regular vigils and her past with Ruth, with whom she shared an “immediate and easy intimacy” after they met at a party. Ruth has made mistakes but lived with passion and “a scary kind of honesty” that Ann cannot help but admire, wondering whether she’s let habit and fear trap her in a safe life. It’s a simple but wrenching story, and it’s not surprising that Berg wrote it after losing a close friend to breast cancer, to “testify to the emotional truth of all that happened.”
October 16, 2022
Labai jautri knyga.. Perskaičiau pirmuosius puslapius ir užverčiau, galvojau negaliu.. Bet pajutau kad ši knyga gali daug duoti.
Nuostabi ir stipri moteriška draugystė, kaip tvirtas kumštis jos kartu, palaikančios, užjaučiančios, paguodžiančios..
Vienos iš jų gyvenimas eina į pabaigą, nepagydomas vėžys.. Ką jaučia sergantysis ir ką šalia esantys. Kaip išlaikyti bendravimo balastą. Kaip tvardytis, ir iki paskutinio išlikti stipriai. Nepakeliamas skausmas ir žinojimas, kad esi bejėgis prieš neišvengiamybę. Kaip praleisti paskutiniąsias dienas kartu. Kaip išgyventi tą netektį, skausmą ir likusią tuštumą.. Arba kaip pasiruošti mirčiai ir iki galo suvokti kad galbūt jau šiandien yra tavo paskutinė diena..
Knygoje tiek vietų kai graudinausi, labai palietė. Didelė moterų vienybė ir stiprybė net sunkiausioje akimirkoje ❤️
🖋️ ..kodėl pasakymas "Viskas bus gerai" daugeliui žmonių sujudina neramias sielos gelmes? Todėl, kad mes nežinome, daug ko nežinome, bet vis tiek tikime.
🖋️ Norėjau, kad mano vidus, prisipildydamas kažko naujo, išstumtų sena.
🖋️ Mes priešinamės mirčiai. Net jeigu mums gyvenimas nepatinka, sužinojus, kad mirštame, jis pradeda patikti.
🖋️..kai žinai, jog miršti, kelias susiaurėja ir vietos lieka tik vienam žmogui - tau pačiam, niekas daugiau neblaško dėmesio, todėl gali pamatyti tai, ko anksčiau nematei. Ir tai gali būti tokia didelė dovana, jog priimi ją su vidiniu virpuliu.
Nuostabi ir stipri moteriška draugystė, kaip tvirtas kumštis jos kartu, palaikančios, užjaučiančios, paguodžiančios..
Vienos iš jų gyvenimas eina į pabaigą, nepagydomas vėžys.. Ką jaučia sergantysis ir ką šalia esantys. Kaip išlaikyti bendravimo balastą. Kaip tvardytis, ir iki paskutinio išlikti stipriai. Nepakeliamas skausmas ir žinojimas, kad esi bejėgis prieš neišvengiamybę. Kaip praleisti paskutiniąsias dienas kartu. Kaip išgyventi tą netektį, skausmą ir likusią tuštumą.. Arba kaip pasiruošti mirčiai ir iki galo suvokti kad galbūt jau šiandien yra tavo paskutinė diena..
Knygoje tiek vietų kai graudinausi, labai palietė. Didelė moterų vienybė ir stiprybė net sunkiausioje akimirkoje ❤️
🖋️ ..kodėl pasakymas "Viskas bus gerai" daugeliui žmonių sujudina neramias sielos gelmes? Todėl, kad mes nežinome, daug ko nežinome, bet vis tiek tikime.
🖋️ Norėjau, kad mano vidus, prisipildydamas kažko naujo, išstumtų sena.
🖋️ Mes priešinamės mirčiai. Net jeigu mums gyvenimas nepatinka, sužinojus, kad mirštame, jis pradeda patikti.
🖋️..kai žinai, jog miršti, kelias susiaurėja ir vietos lieka tik vienam žmogui - tau pačiam, niekas daugiau neblaško dėmesio, todėl gali pamatyti tai, ko anksčiau nematei. Ir tai gali būti tokia didelė dovana, jog priimi ją su vidiniu virpuliu.
August 5, 2008
I'm not sure why I picked this book up from the library. I thought this was going to be about female bonding and the nature of close female friends... unfortunately, it was a dramatic (although probably accurate) look at one woman's friend dying of breast cancer. Neither women are particularly endearing, however; there's nothing inspiring about their plight pre-cancer, and Berg's writing doesn't help either. I'd be better off reading Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants again.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
June 23, 2016
A beutiful story of the strength and individuality of women. A tribute to friendship, love, death and dying. This is a book that I will read yearly to remind me of the importence of love and friendship. Loved the group of women. A touching book.
New author for 2011.
New author for 2011.
May 23, 2019
This is a story about women, and will only be more meaningful if you are 40 or above. Still will speak to women at any age.
November 8, 2011
I wish I could have liked this at all given the subject and inspiration for the novel. It's a story told by Ann in first person about her best friend Ruth who is dying of cancer. The story is mostly told in present tense, but there are frequent flashbacks telling us about their friendship in the past tense. I don't have complaints about the style. It's fine, even if not something that invokes writer's envy. My problem is that the story and characters left me cold.
A note from the author says the book was inspired by the need to express the "emotional truth" about her loss of a "very important friend" to breast cancer. Maybe those who've survived cancer or lost someone they loved to that disease will resonate more with this story. The thing is, I think part of the problem is that it was too centered on her illness and coming death. I recently read Alice Hoffman's The Probable Future and a central character there is dying of cancer. I found her situation much more poignant and moving I think partly because it dealt more with her living her life while dying. Despite Berg's claim that this was grounded in her personal experience, I also found it hard to credit someone within weeks of dying of the disease would be able to pig out on lobster and fries.
Besides which, I find it hard to be moved by a story of a dying friend and her immortal friendship if I utterly despise the character. And the truth is I hated Ruth with the heat of a thousand suns without once getting the feeling we were meant to. Something in her personality I can't point to rubbed me the wrong way from the beginning, but I soon got plenty of reasons I can articulate to loathe her more and more with every page. She claims her husband is "manipulative" and cold but says she doesn't divorce him for the sake of their nine-year-old son. That doesn't stop her though from casual serial infidelity--she's sure she won't get caught. Worse, she encourages her friend, who also has a young child, to do the same. But worst of all? She asks her friend to lie for her to her husband. That's when I lost all potential sympathy. That's not the act of a friend, but a user.
A note from the author says the book was inspired by the need to express the "emotional truth" about her loss of a "very important friend" to breast cancer. Maybe those who've survived cancer or lost someone they loved to that disease will resonate more with this story. The thing is, I think part of the problem is that it was too centered on her illness and coming death. I recently read Alice Hoffman's The Probable Future and a central character there is dying of cancer. I found her situation much more poignant and moving I think partly because it dealt more with her living her life while dying. Despite Berg's claim that this was grounded in her personal experience, I also found it hard to credit someone within weeks of dying of the disease would be able to pig out on lobster and fries.
Besides which, I find it hard to be moved by a story of a dying friend and her immortal friendship if I utterly despise the character. And the truth is I hated Ruth with the heat of a thousand suns without once getting the feeling we were meant to. Something in her personality I can't point to rubbed me the wrong way from the beginning, but I soon got plenty of reasons I can articulate to loathe her more and more with every page. She claims her husband is "manipulative" and cold but says she doesn't divorce him for the sake of their nine-year-old son. That doesn't stop her though from casual serial infidelity--she's sure she won't get caught. Worse, she encourages her friend, who also has a young child, to do the same. But worst of all? She asks her friend to lie for her to her husband. That's when I lost all potential sympathy. That's not the act of a friend, but a user.
July 10, 2017
Short and oh so sweet and moving. The bonds between friends becomes evident when Ann cares for Ruth, her long time best friend with breast cancer who is in her last days before death consumes her. There are many funny conversations but the heart felt conversations are real and poignant. Life and marriage and motherhood are touched upon and this is a book to be felt deeply.
September 9, 2015
A beautifully told story about two best friends, Ann and Ruth, and what happens after Ruth is diagnosed with terminal breast cancer. Not only is Ann by her side, but also Ruth's small but eclectic group of her other friends gather by her side also, and each person helps Ruth in her own unique way.
I was drawn to this story because I also have terminal breast cancer, and I was glad to see the author tackle this subject (she also lost a good friend to breast cancer) and tell the truth about it; that breast cancer is not always a "curable" kind of cancer, a message that is often lost, especially during the month of "Pinktober" in the lands "pink ribbons" and all the crap that goes with it.; breast cancer is not cute, and it not pretty; the American Cancer Society estimates that 40,290 women will die of breast cancer this year. I may well be part of that statistic myself as my oncologist recommended just 2 weeks ago that I should be thinking about starting hospice care.
My only complaint about this novel was that I felt it was too short, and because of that, not all of the characters felt fully developed to me.
I was drawn to this story because I also have terminal breast cancer, and I was glad to see the author tackle this subject (she also lost a good friend to breast cancer) and tell the truth about it; that breast cancer is not always a "curable" kind of cancer, a message that is often lost, especially during the month of "Pinktober" in the lands "pink ribbons" and all the crap that goes with it.; breast cancer is not cute, and it not pretty; the American Cancer Society estimates that 40,290 women will die of breast cancer this year. I may well be part of that statistic myself as my oncologist recommended just 2 weeks ago that I should be thinking about starting hospice care.
My only complaint about this novel was that I felt it was too short, and because of that, not all of the characters felt fully developed to me.
March 20, 2007
Quick read, but very deep very best. Your typical two best women friends - one is outgoing, free-spirited & artistic, the other is quiet, reserved & safe. The fun one gets a terminal illness, the safe one narrates. And that's where the "run-of-the-mill" feel ends. The does a beautiful job of telling a story without overdoing it, and painting a picture of what it's like to love someone who's dying without doing the experience the injustice of making everything neat and predictible. Having worked in hospice for the better part of a year, this novel does a brilliant job of presenting an experience to the reader that is hopefully not familiar to most of us, but is very real.
July 18, 2008
This was the second Elizabeth Berg book I have read. A co-worker was moved by this book and recommended it. I just don't seem to connect with this particular author. Especially with this topic, I didn't feel as much as I think I should.
October 29, 2017
Probably not the right book for me at this time of my life. My oldest sister is dying from colon cancer and my dad was diagnosed this year with the same sickness, colon cancer but hopefully we were on time.
With all that going on I have obviously been thinking a lot about death over the last past months.
I have read about 65% of it and yes it is hard for me to read but still a good book with some interesting parts that I highlighted on my kindle;
This one. "I want to mean something,I want it to matter that I am here"
"Ah Make your mark huh?" "Don't you I asked?" "I think.."she said I believe you make your mark inside yourself, I think we are meant to use every single thing we're given. I want to act on every impulse"
"I want more, I want someone to know I was here"
This is exactly the same thing I am struggling with, that when I die I will be forgotten,nobody knows I was here.
----------------------------------------------------------
Finished this morning and this is one book I want to re read. As I mentioned above I am thinking a lot about death, my loved ones but also my own and I was a bit scared this book would make me more anxious but in a weird way it helped.
Plus the fact that this is also about women and their relationships with other women which is a subject I always love to read about, this book probably was right for me. I want to read more by this author.
Some highlights I made from this book
Ah there were so many but I am too lazy to have to type all. Lots of little jewels. 4.5
With all that going on I have obviously been thinking a lot about death over the last past months.
I have read about 65% of it and yes it is hard for me to read but still a good book with some interesting parts that I highlighted on my kindle;
This one. "I want to mean something,I want it to matter that I am here"
"Ah Make your mark huh?" "Don't you I asked?" "I think.."she said I believe you make your mark inside yourself, I think we are meant to use every single thing we're given. I want to act on every impulse"
"I want more, I want someone to know I was here"
This is exactly the same thing I am struggling with, that when I die I will be forgotten,nobody knows I was here.
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Finished this morning and this is one book I want to re read. As I mentioned above I am thinking a lot about death, my loved ones but also my own and I was a bit scared this book would make me more anxious but in a weird way it helped.
Plus the fact that this is also about women and their relationships with other women which is a subject I always love to read about, this book probably was right for me. I want to read more by this author.
Some highlights I made from this book
Ah there were so many but I am too lazy to have to type all. Lots of little jewels. 4.5
February 1, 2014
This book is about a friendship between two very different women. Ann, a pretty traditional homemaker/mother and her best friend, Ruth, who is "beautiful and flamboyant"---quite unlike Ann. No spoiler here: from the beginning of the book, you learn that Ruth is dying of late stage breast cancer, and is being cared for at her home by numerous friends, the closest of whom is Ann. Despite the sad situation of Ruth's dying, I found her to be a very unlikeable, selfish and shallow person, and had a hard time believing the intensity of her and Ann's relationship. This clearly influenced my reading, and thus, the low rating.
February 3, 2009
What an incredible book. I bawled my eyes out. Ms. Berg just made the emotion of losing a dear friend to breast cancer so real. This was a book of incredible friendship and love. It reminded me how important it is to be happy in the moment, to find joy in the people in your life. I loved the quirky characters, they were all so real by the end of the book.
This was just an amazingly beautiful book. Everytime I feel a breeze, I'll be reminded of this book and of the eternity of friendships and our ties to those who've already gone on ahead of us.
This was just an amazingly beautiful book. Everytime I feel a breeze, I'll be reminded of this book and of the eternity of friendships and our ties to those who've already gone on ahead of us.
July 13, 2013
This is one of my favorite books of all time. It's a little gem. I gave a copy to my aunt after her sister died of cancer. She loved it. I highly recommend it.
September 19, 2020
“Our conversations are silly...But they are comforting to both of us, I know. They remind me of what we talk about before we go to sleep...”
3.5 stars. This is the second book by Berg that I have read in the last month. An author that I am now on the hunt for more of her books. This was one of her earlier works. Talk Before Sleep brings us the friendship between Ruth and Ann. Told from the perspective of Ann, she reflects on how she met Ruth, and the friendship that developed over the years. It is also an exploration of Ruth’s battle with terminal breast cancer. Ann, along with Sarah, Helen, and L.D. are Ruth’s closest group of friends. They support her, look after her, making sure that the strong friendship they hold does not waver. Despite setbacks, hurdles, and complications these women do not leave Ruth’s side. This is not a happy tale, but a reflection on a deep and loving friendship.
Grab a tissue for this worthwhile read.
My reviews can also be found at:
www.instagram/quietimtryingtoread
3.5 stars. This is the second book by Berg that I have read in the last month. An author that I am now on the hunt for more of her books. This was one of her earlier works. Talk Before Sleep brings us the friendship between Ruth and Ann. Told from the perspective of Ann, she reflects on how she met Ruth, and the friendship that developed over the years. It is also an exploration of Ruth’s battle with terminal breast cancer. Ann, along with Sarah, Helen, and L.D. are Ruth’s closest group of friends. They support her, look after her, making sure that the strong friendship they hold does not waver. Despite setbacks, hurdles, and complications these women do not leave Ruth’s side. This is not a happy tale, but a reflection on a deep and loving friendship.
Grab a tissue for this worthwhile read.
My reviews can also be found at:
www.instagram/quietimtryingtoread
February 14, 2021
I'm looking for some uplifting, feel-good fiction. I certainly made a mistake with this one! Baled out at 30%, even if it was well-written.
October 1, 2015
Most of us read to be enlightened or moved. This book did both. On one level, it's a story about girlfriends, and how women need each other. On another, and this is the main theme I think, it's about treasuring what you have and treating yourself well in your own life. There's a scene in here about Ann preparing a fussy, precisely made breakfast for Ruth, who is sick. Ruth aggravates Ann by sending her back to the kitchen to improve the meal. Ann thinks, What a bitch! But complies. And then when the perfect meal is brought back to the bedroom, Ruth admits she's too sick to eat, and insists Ann eat it. Ann does, and you see that she needs to do this for herself every now and then: a perfect breakfast, with white linen and a rose alongside. We all should.
Here are a couple of excerpts that I found meaningful:
About women in general: "The truth is, we usually only show our unhappiness to another woman. I suppose this is one of our problems. And yet it is also one of our strengths."
One night, Ann and Ruth are looking up at the stars, discussing insignificance. Ann says, "I want more. I want someone to know I was here." Ruth says, "But you have to start with yourself. You have to let yourself know you're here."
As Ruth declines and moves thoughtfully toward death, she shows us how to live fully and appreciate every moment, not because she's dying and all of a sudden realized it, but because she always has. In this she gives us a model, and Elizabeth Berg, the author, gives us a gift.
Here are a couple of excerpts that I found meaningful:
About women in general: "The truth is, we usually only show our unhappiness to another woman. I suppose this is one of our problems. And yet it is also one of our strengths."
One night, Ann and Ruth are looking up at the stars, discussing insignificance. Ann says, "I want more. I want someone to know I was here." Ruth says, "But you have to start with yourself. You have to let yourself know you're here."
As Ruth declines and moves thoughtfully toward death, she shows us how to live fully and appreciate every moment, not because she's dying and all of a sudden realized it, but because she always has. In this she gives us a model, and Elizabeth Berg, the author, gives us a gift.
April 21, 2008
In this heartbreaking novel about love and letting go, Ann chronicles the powerful story of her best friend Ruth's struggle with breast cancer: from diagnosis, to denial, to fear, and finally to acceptance, as well as sharing her own experience in coping with the tragic truth and nurturing her friend as best as she can. The author superbly captures the female experience, both in the dialogue and actions of the characters. All of her characters are realistic and so easy to relate to, and she really understands the special connection and intimacy that women feel for one another. Sarah, is the realistic friend who takes care of the "business," such as helping Ruth pick out a cemetary plot. LD is the tough, positive friend who refuses to allow Ruth to give up hope, and finally, Helen is Ruth's childhood friend, who knows Ruth like she knows herself. While the decline of Ruth's health is central to the story, this is not merely a testament of survival and death. The heart of the novel is a celebration of the wonderful friendships that women share. I would recommend this to all women who appreciate the value of female friendship, and especially those who are dealing with or have dealt with cancer or terminal illness.
March 9, 2011
This book enabled me to survive and HONOR my lovely sister Leslie's journey through ovarian cancer. She also read the book long before her diagnosis. When she got the message she was terminal I told her I would be her "talk before sleep". She knew exactly what that meant and that I would honor her talking about death. HARD as it may have been, I don't think I would have been as prepared with out this story. READ this WAY BEFORE you need this and please be sure to honor the ability to share someones journey to leaving the ability to be physically present here on earth. I will never forget this book.
May 5, 2015
I won't rest until I've read every word Elizabeth Berg has written, but though her writing was, of course, beautiful, I didn't like these characters.
If the main character hadn't been sick (no spoiler alert, you learn this on page six, or the back cover, if you read those), I wouldn't have felt any sympathy for her character. She was selfish and unlikeable.
Still EB brings even a mediocre book about illness up with her prose and themes.
If you want to read a beautiful book about women and friendship, read Truth & Beauty by Ann Patchett, The Red Tent by Anita Diamant, or even The Art of Mending by Berg.
If the main character hadn't been sick (no spoiler alert, you learn this on page six, or the back cover, if you read those), I wouldn't have felt any sympathy for her character. She was selfish and unlikeable.
Still EB brings even a mediocre book about illness up with her prose and themes.
If you want to read a beautiful book about women and friendship, read Truth & Beauty by Ann Patchett, The Red Tent by Anita Diamant, or even The Art of Mending by Berg.
November 4, 2023
Reading this little book for at least the third time. I think of it often over the years. It’s about friendship.
July 15, 2019
When my mother died, I kept many of her books to read even though she wouldn’t be there to talk to about them. This was one of them.
Part of me wishes I hadn’t read it. It’s a very good book, meaningful and sadly beautiful, but it hits way too close to come. Berg nailed so much in this book—what it’s like to watch the end of someone’s life, the moment when hope falls to reality, the stages of the leaving and pulling away of those who are preparing to leave our world. The solitude of death.
A beautiful book of friendship but might be a very hard read for those of us who have spent those last days with someone, both dreading and waiting for the end, a wait that is endless until just like that it isn’t.
Part of me wishes I hadn’t read it. It’s a very good book, meaningful and sadly beautiful, but it hits way too close to come. Berg nailed so much in this book—what it’s like to watch the end of someone’s life, the moment when hope falls to reality, the stages of the leaving and pulling away of those who are preparing to leave our world. The solitude of death.
A beautiful book of friendship but might be a very hard read for those of us who have spent those last days with someone, both dreading and waiting for the end, a wait that is endless until just like that it isn’t.
June 3, 2024
wow. what a beautiful, beautiful book. there's so many good things i could say about it. this is a good book if you're looking for something short and sweet, but something that will leave an impact. this is definitely a book i will reread in the future
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