- Bill Bailey: The only difference between a liberal and a conservative man is, that a liberal recognizes the existence of vice and controls it, while a conservative just turns his back and pretends it doesn't exist.
- Elaine Talbart: Well, tell me more of your experiences.
- Bill Bailey: Since I met you, I'm a little bit ashamed of my experiences.
- Elaine Talbart: Have you had a lot of women in your life?
- Bill Bailey: I'd rather not talk about other women just now.
- Elaine Talbart: I'd have liked you better if you'd said it was none of my business.
- Bill Bailey: Oh, no you wouldn't.
- Elaine Talbart: Oh, yes, I would. I want a man who's my master; who isn't afraid of anybody in the world; who'd shoot the first man that looked at me.
- Bill Bailey: You'd have been crazy about Al Capone!
- Elaine Talbart: You think you're kidding.
- Bill Bailey: Elaine, you need a darn good spanking.
- Elaine Talbart: When I needed someone to give me a darn good thrashing, I'd follow him around like a dog on a leash.
- Bill Bailey: Let's change the subject. Do you know that caviar is nothing but fish eggs?
- Elaine Talbart: You know that's the tentacles of an octopus you're eating?
- Racetrack Spectator: You haven't picked a winner tonight, Bailey.
- Bill Bailey: I make all my money off losers.
- Bill Bailey: As long as you have cities, you're bound to have vices. You can't control human nature by putting in a new mayor.
- Butcher Weighing Sausages: That was Bill Bailey. He just ordered one hundred and fifty turkeys for Thanksgiving.
- Butcher: For charity, huh?
- Butcher Weighing Sausages: Yeah, sure, for our poor judges, our poor lawyers, and our poor police officers.
- Ruby Darling: I can remember when you thought a hamburger sandwich was a banquet. And you called a dinner a feast.
- Bill Bailey: Why, if you were dying and needed blood for a transfusion, I'd be the first one to give it.
- Ruby Darling: So, the only way we can get together is to have a blood transfusion, huh?
- Judge's Wife: Well, that Bill Bailey has a lot of nerve.
- Judge: Mmm, yeah. But he's got a lot of influence too.
- Ruby Darling: Weren't you ever romantic?
- Bill Bailey: Heh, heh. Can you imagine a guy getting romantic in a reform school, hmmm?