*This will contain spoilers all the way throughout.*
Will this be more of a review or a diary entry? Only time will tell. Probably more diary.
This one *This will contain spoilers all the way throughout.*
Will this be more of a review or a diary entry? Only time will tell. Probably more diary.
This one hurt. Before this book, I was in one of the worst reading slumps I've ever had. I had just gotten back from school where the academic reading sucked the joy out of it for a while and I've just had a hard time adjusting to being back home and missing people I knew I would miss. As I read this book and got sucked in by the mirror that it was, I realized that the main reason I couldn't face any of the books on my shelves was because I was afraid of being seen. I was afraid of seeing how I felt about certain people and recent events put into words by someone else, as I've spent the last month trying to do it myself. And failing. As I began to see myself more and more in the main character, Adelaide, I started to fear the ending, because it felt like a foresight into my own future.
The way it was written, with the alternate timelines popping up frequently and the inclusion of what is essentially an entirely alternate plot, was fascinating to me. I identified myself even in that--in the way I let what-if's control my story and perception of reality. "Well at least THIS didn't happen... but THIS could have and it didn't. Or maybe someday it will."
I could somehow relate to both the Mikey and Oscar plot-lines. I saw myself in Adelaide and her point of view about Mikey and their relationship, breakup, and underlying motivations, but I saw my last few months in the alternate. Just when I thought it wouldn't get any worse, the tables turned and suddenly it was the tall, mysterious classical pianist showing up casually and perfectly and then leaving, transferring, pursuing dreams I could never be mad at him for, and saying goodbye over the phone. Wanting to say it all in person but realizing more with each passing day that that's an increasingly bad idea. And life will go on. I will still go to school and it will suck a little but my Stacey S-es will be there
But it was also comforting. To see that life moved on and sometimes what-is is the best what-if and sometimes it's the worst. And sometimes it's just what-is and you can't do anything about it either way, and we'll never know what else could have been *if only...*
Adelaide was such a well-rounded character. The fact that it was mostly about her and her perception of events made it much more interesting, in a surprising way. Throughout the novel, we're introduced to other characters and get to know them a little, but never as well as we know Adelaide. Not that they're 2D, but they are so purposefully secondary characters. Just like real people, we only learn as much as they are willing to share. Which isn't much, in this case. But we know how Adelaide feels, and we know when she doesn't know how to feel. Maybe I just get her because I feel so much like her, but she just feels really... real. She's heartbroken by heartbreak and in love with love and everything is so grand and significant .
Some quotes that attacked me:
"In every world she was consumed with the intense contradictions of her heart. Adelaide wanted to be rescued and she wanted independence. She was inclined to laziness, curiosity, and magical thinking. She was all charm and yet deeply miserable. She was a liar and she hated liars. She loved both truly and wrongheadedly." (page 3)
"And I feel like I can see a future with Jack, and I can see a past with him, versions of the past that didn't happen. I can see them, like memories. It feels important somehow. Like it matters more than any other relationship ever could. But then, maybe it's just my feelings for Mikey blurring and smooshing together with my feelings for Jack, so that when I think I love Jack, I really it's that I love Mikey, and the truth is I have some romantic obsessional tendencies. Like, I just told you it matters more than any other relationship ever could, but I'm not even seeing him. There's nothing between us anymore. Maybe I even have, like, an addiction to love, or to relationships or something. It's like being in love makes me feel better, much better, than I do the rest of the time. Except when it makes me miserable." (page 221-222)
This one really really hurt. But perhaps I needed to be so specifically seen by what I was reading to stop being afraid of being seen at all by what I was reading. Thank you, E. Lockhart for getting me out of my slump and giving me what I needed.
Yikes. Hope nobody read all that but also if you did please read this book....more
I love Emily Henry and her books and her writing and her characters. I didn't think she could top Beach Read, but here we are. I LOVE friends --> loveI love Emily Henry and her books and her writing and her characters. I didn't think she could top Beach Read, but here we are. I LOVE friends --> lovers (like any sane human being), and I love the way she develops the characters into real people with hopes and fears and dreams and motivations that are all so realistic. Definitely one of my favorites for the year so far. ...more
clarino910
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summer-21
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