Fluke Quotes

“There's some heinous fuckery goin' on mon.”
― Christopher Moore, Fluke: Or, I Know Why the Winged Whale Sings

“Actually, orcas aren't quite as complex as scientists imagine. Most killer whales are just four tons of doofus dressed up like a police car.”
― Christopher Moore, Fluke: Or, I Know Why the Winged Whale Sings

“Burning bridges behind you is understandable. It's the bridges before us that we burn, not realizing we may need to cross, that brings regret.”
― Anthony Liccione

“Pondering is a little like considering and a little like thinking, but looser. To ponder, one must let the facts roll around the rim of the mind's roulette wheel, coming to settle in whichever slot they feed pulled to.”
― Christopher Moore, Fluke: Or, I Know Why the Winged Whale Sings

“The scientific method is nothing more than a system of rules to keep us from lying to each other.”
― Ken Norris

“Ooo ahe-e, I aya oa a," she said in yawnspeak, a language - not unlike Hawaiian - known for its paucity of consonants.”
― Christopher Moore, Fluke: Or, I Know Why the Winged Whale Sings

“He died. And waited.”
― James Herbert, Fluke

“[Acknowledgments] I recommend them all for further reading, but when you're finished, you may have to read several of my books and watch a lot of TV just to get stupid enough to function in the modern world again.”
― Christopher Moore, Fluke: Or, I Know Why the Winged Whale Sings

“[Conservation] Barring that, just yell at people randomly to stop killing whales. It could catch on. Really.
("Would you like fries with that?"
"Shut up and stop killing whales!"
"Thank you. Drive through, please.")”
― Christopher Moore, Fluke: Or, I Know Why the Winged Whale Sings

“[Author's Notes] As I write this, September 2002, much about the humpback song is still unknown. (Although scientists do know that it tends to be found in the New Age music section, as well as in tropical waters...)”
― Christopher Moore, Fluke: Or, I Know Why the Winged Whale Sings

“She glanced over her shoulder to look at the forty-foot cabin cruiser where Captain Tarwater posed on the bow looking like an advertisement for a particularly rigid laundry detergent - Bumstick Go-Be-Bright, perhaps”
― Christopher Moore, Fluke: Or, I Know Why the Winged Whale Sings

“The next day the weather was blown out, with whitecaps frosting the entire channel across to Lanai and the coconut palms whipping overhead like epileptic dust mops.”
― Christopher Moore, Fluke: Or, I Know Why the Winged Whale Sings

“From the slope of Haleakala, the Old Broad watched the activity in the channel with a two-hundred-power celestial telescope and a pair of "big eyes" binoculars that looked like stereo bazookas on precision mounts that were anchored into a ton of concrete.”
― Christopher Moore, Fluke: Or, I Know Why the Winged Whale Sings

“Now (obviously) a sentence’s truth—even when we hold the sentence’s meaning fixed—depends on which world we are considering. “Brown is Prime Minister” is true in the actual world but, since Brown need not have been Prime Minister, there are countless worlds in which “Brown is Prime Minister” is false: in those worlds, Brown did not succeed Tony Blair, or never went into politics, or never even existed. And in some other worlds, someone else is Prime Minister — David Cameron, P. F. Strawson, me, Madonna, or Daffy Duck. In still others, there is no such office as Prime Minister, or not even a Britain; and so on and so forth. So a given sentence or proposition varies its truth-value from world to world.”
― William G. Lycan, Philosophy of Language: A Contemporary Introduction

“Make sure you wear something appropriate, dear. You never know who you’ll run into and it’s always smart to look your best.”
― Joanne Fluke, Lemon Meringue Pie Murder

“The next time you come to the Cookie Jar, the coffee’s on me. You could probably bottle that stuff of yours and sell it for rat poison.”
― Joanne Fluke

“She skinned her hair back into a ponytail, a style she knew was probably too young for her, but she planned to drive with her windows open and she could ditch the elastic band once she got to the lake.”
― Joanne Fluke, Lemon Meringue Pie Murder

“Then, after he'd watched her walk out, a wave of melancholy swept over him and for the thirtieth time that day he regretted that he hadn't just become a pharmacist, or a charter captain, or something that made you feel more alive, like a pirate.”
― Moore Christopher

“Succeed despite the odds, and they’ll say it was a fluke. Fluke it up anyway.”
― Richie Norton