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My Story: "A Child Called It", "The Lost Boy", "A Man Named Dave"

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Dave Pelzer's remarkable journey from a child who lived in terror of his unstable, violently unpredictable mother's every move, to his emergence as an inspiration the world over is a remarkable tale of survival and the triumph of the human spirit over adversity.

Dave Pelzer's three volumes of memoirs - A Child Called 'It', The Lost Boy and A Man Named Dave - brought this story of courage and triumph against all odds to the world, becoming global bestsellers.

My Story brings these volumes together, following Dave from a childhood spent in fear, his tempestuous teenage years haunted by the spectre of his mother, through to his adulthood, and his great achievement of not only understanding and reconciling the story of his own life, but his dedication to helping others overcome similar adversity.

It is a remarkable story of courage and survival, already embraced by millions and destined to inspire millions more.

437 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1995

About the author

Dave Pelzer

45 books3,140 followers
An author best known for his 1995 memoir of childhood abuse, A Child Called It.

At the age of 12, Dave was removed from an abusive home and placed in a series of foster homes. In 1979, he joined the Air Force and later became an author of memoirs and self-improvement books.

A CHILD CALLED "IT" IS COMING TO THE BIG SCREEN.

August 2017 - We are very excited to announce that writer/producer David Goldblum of Conscious Contact Productions has acquired the film rights to Dave Pelzer's, #1 New York Times bestselling book, A Child Called “IT” which was on the New York Times Best Sellers List for a record breaking six years. Tamlin Hall, whose film Holden On has won multiple awards around the country is attached to direct. Dave Pelzer is adapting the screenplay alongside Goldblum and Hall. The movie is in pre-production, with production set to begin in Spring 2018. A-List talent are already circling the project. Be sure and follow us on Facebook and Instagram for updates. https://www.facebook.com/AChildCalled....

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5 stars
7,064 (49%)
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3 stars
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248 (1%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 809 reviews
Profile Image for Sabrina Robinson.
81 reviews5 followers
September 3, 2007
Hardest thing I every had to read. The first time I read them by choice and since I did not have small children I was only appalled on the most basic level. Now with a five year old and having to read it again for class, I am tortured. I want to reach through the pages and choke the mom out. Also I am furious at the so-called "saviors" who finally after years at looking at evidence of the most heinous abuse finally decided to "risk" their jobs and call the police. Don't get me started. This book fuels me on in my career and reminds me exactly what is at stake.
12 reviews
January 9, 2008
I read this for work and I struggled my way through it. This was and still is the hardest book I've ever read. I wish it were a fiction. When I finished reading this mans story, I couldn't have it in my house anymore. I gave it to a friend of mine who is a teacher and asked her to pass it on when she was done. She told me she also struggled to get through it but felt that all teachers should read Dave's story. It's a sad and disgusting example of how so many people failed him.
May 18, 2016
It took a very long time for me to finish this book. Probably, because It was an exceedingly depressing book and the fact that it repeated a lot of things again and again. So much repetation made it hard for me to continue reading this book beyond 300 pages. I literally closed the book and didnot tough it for a month or so.
I have very mixed feelings for this book. No doubt, this book indeed helped in enhancing my knowledge and understanding of child abuse victims, but it arose several questions in my mind which remained unanswered till the end of the book. Moreover, this book gives only one perspective to the situation/theme of the book.
I strongly wanted to find why David's mother behaved in such abnormal and deviating from the norm ways. The author does not give a satisfactory explanation for that. Secondly, the book discusses a lot about david's struggle but there was hardly any mention of his brothers later in the book. He struggled for his wife, for his son, for himself but there was not a mention of his brothers.
In the book, it is mentioned that David divorced Patsy from whom he had stephen because they were different an dcould not understand each other. Later, he married Marsha and was greatly satisfied. There are ample descriptions of his happily married life with Marsha and the extent to which Marsha understands him. But, interestingly, when I googled about dave pelzer, I found that David and Marsha are divorced. This made me doubt every word of the book I have read. Indeed, there are accounts of his social worker and teacher but still I am swinging between feelings of doubt and certaininty.

These are my feelings. I know some may not agree but this is what I felt after reading this book
4 reviews1 follower
November 6, 2013
I enjoyed this book. But i think it was a hard book to read, not because of the words but because of the feelings that this book give you. I almost cried reading what horrible things the mother was doing to her child. She would force him to do everything. Not everything about his life was bad. At the beginning his mother was very nice to him she took care of him just like how she takes care of her children. The story was almost all about child abuse. The mother use to hit him with very sharp things. and some times even starve him. He never felt loved by his mother, he only felt loved by his teachers and people around him. Eventually the child grow up , he wasn't jut successful but he also dedicated his self to help others. The three stories are based on the lives of three boys with different abuse stories.
Profile Image for Martine.
15 reviews
June 27, 2012
Dave's remarkable story both shocks and offers a message of hope. It is hard to believe that some people do the horrible things they do, especially to vulnerable children. What he went through as a child was worse than hell. What I remember is his lack of self-esteem, his feelings of guilt, which kept haunting him as an adult. He made it. That is an exceptional achievement.
Profile Image for Regan.
27 reviews3 followers
June 27, 2009
My Story is a book that you will not be able to put down. You will wake in the night, wanting to just read the next chapter (then the next, then the next!!). It is so tragic you can only wish that it weren't true. Anybody who has children will give them extra hugs while reading this book. It is the true story of a boy mentally and physically abused by his mother from the age of 4 until his rescue.

This is truly a story of bravery beyond imagination. It is hard to imagine a child going through this torture and coming out the other end.

You will cry till it hurts.....
Profile Image for Barbara Kinsky.
106 reviews22 followers
August 30, 2011
Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant!! If there is a book anybody should read it should be this one. Not for the faint-hearted though as some of the things this mother does to her child would be extremely sensitive to some readers as this book explicitly describes how she abuses her son. One cannot believe that somebody could be so cruel to their own child. This book does end on a very good note, though. A MUST read!!
Profile Image for Tara.
10 reviews2 followers
January 3, 2014
Read this years ago.

I cried my eyeballs out. Gut wrenching, heart wrenching and in the end, sweet triumph that still makes you cry. Since reading these 3 books there has never been any other series or single book that has made me cry as much as.

I often ponder about rereading these, but I can't bear the thought of the emotional tsunami that it would erupt.
110 reviews2 followers
March 11, 2014
very sad story of a mother's betrayal to her son. but very inspiring how he turned it all around. very addictive read
Profile Image for Rachel.
8 reviews
July 22, 2016
'My Story' by Dave Pelzer, particularly the first third of the book, is one hell of a harrowing read. It's three books that have been compiled into one volume: 'A Child Called It', 'The Lost Boy', and 'A Man Named Dave'; an apparently true account of a man's experience of extreme child abuse at the hands of his sadistic, psychotic alcoholic mother, who overcomes his experiences of trauma against all odds.

'A Child Called It', the first book in the series, is stomach churning and absolutely horrific. The second book, 'The Lost Boy', focuses on Pelzer's experiences in foster homes, juvenile delinquency and a hugely maladaptive need for acceptance. The last book, 'A Man Named Dave', is about the man that Pelzer has become and how he triumphed over his experiences of abhorrent, sickening cruelty and abuse.

I'm a very strong advocate of believing the victim. We live in a society where victim blaming and skepticism of a victim's experiences are far more pervasive and normalised than actually believing the victim themselves. I don't doubt that Pelzer was abused. However… by the time I was finished the final book in the trilogy, 'A Man Named Dave', I couldn't help wondering how much Pelzer had embellished his recounts of his abuse. I feel like such an asshole saying that, but a few things jumped out at me that didn't add up. One such thing being Pelzer's claim in 'A Child Called It' that his mother stabbed him in the stomach - which changed in 'A Man Named Dave' to her having stabbed him in the heart. Another being his claim that he was removed from his mother's house at age 12 due to being pushed down the stairs, resulting in another culmination of injuries - a claim which in 'A Man Named Dave' changed to him being removed from his mother's house due to having burned skin on his arms from putting them in a bucket of ammonia and bleach (a claim which wasn't mentioned in the first two books, but was mentioned in the third; strange, considering the lengths to which he recounts all of his abuse with crystal clear detail).

I couldn't help getting a sense that the latter two books, the final in the trilogy in particular, are laced with exaggerations. The last in the series, 'A Man Named Dave', is imbued with very melodramatic, almost soap operatic dialogue, full of cliches and platitudes that come across as self-aggrandising and ostentatious. Furthermore, I couldn't help being skeptical of the almost parodic villainy with which Pelzer painted his mother. On the one hand, I understand it entirely: he is providing the reader insight into how he feared his mother; how he viewed his ogre of a mother through child eyes that he was never able to shake even into adulthood. On the other hand, descriptions such as "Mother's ice-cold, evil eyes locked onto mine as her face came into full view... I caught a whiff of her putrid body odor… her yellow teeth and putrid, steamy breath" along with little to no insight into his mother beyond her cruelty painted her into something of a caricature villain that bordered on unbelievable.

I did, however, find Pelzer's recount of his time in the foster system very interesting to read. Facts embellished or not, it gave me quite a lot of insight into what foster children experience that I hadn't considered before. I also found moments of Pelzer's self-examination of his behaviours and thoughts as maladaptive manifestations of his abuse quite insightful and fascinating.

Like I said, I don't doubt that Pelzer was abused. I don't doubt that what he experienced was utterly horrific and heart-rendering. I hate being that asshole that is skeptical of another person's recount of their abuse but there's something highly voyeuristic about the way in which these three books are written that make me a little leery. The detail he goes into with his abuse is shocking; it borders on reading like torture porn, some instances drawn out with dramatic tension and effect over numerous pages, focusing far more on the details of the abuse itself rather than examining the emotional and psychological implications. The details of his abuse are repeated again, and again, and again, sometimes with strange inconsistencies, sometimes with added details that weren't there the previous time he recounted it, which, I feel like an asshole for saying, inevitably led me to question the validity of some of his claims. It's hard not to wonder why he goes to such voyeuristic measures to detail his abuse - is it to demonstrate the horrific brutality of his experiences, to really hammer it home and to get his story out there because it's a story that deserves to be told; or is it because he knows people are infected with morbid curiosity and thus he embellished the details somewhat for the purpose of book sales? Both, perhaps? Who knows.

Perhaps, however, the lack of emotional and psychological examination of what he endured could be put down to Pelzer not being an overly strong writer; or perhaps Pelzer was emotionally distancing himself from his experiences while writing the accounts of his abuse, and it thus came through in his writing. I can also see the potential point to him repeating those details over and over: to give a sense that what he endured is endlessly cycling through his mind, regardless how much he has strived to move on from the past. That is, after all, how PTSD manifests. These books could also be his way of regaining agency over his experiences and his life. I can't fault him for that, if that's the case.

All that said, I do appreciate what Pelzer is doing: giving insight into abuse, the foster care system, and how unshakeable the human spirit can be. I do think 'A Child Called It' and 'The Lost Boy' ('A Man Named Dave', less so) are useful tools in opening up dialogue about domestic violence and child abuse. For that, I have to say that I support 'My Story'. More importantly, if Pelzer's books has helped others caught in cycles of abuse to break free and speak up, then I support his endeavour, in spite of possible embellishments, because that is ultimately what matters.
Profile Image for Nhi.
11 reviews
January 23, 2012
This trilogy is such a powerful and gut wrenching tale of a man who had one of the most darkest childhoods in the U.S. We all know there are stories of children who have had it worse but just reading this one will actually break you down emotionally.

While reading this, I found it difficult to read continuously and just had to take a break just to escape the rawness of Dave's storytelling. I liked the breaks in the tales to represent the transition of growing up. As I finished the book, I am so glad and very proud of how one brave boy grew up and actually stood up to his monsters and faced his fears. We get to experience his journey on a path of light, wisdom and love. Truly a triumphant and inspirational and moving tale of how strong the human spirit can fight the odds.


Definitely a must read. I enjoyed it so much that I have read the trilogy more than once. To all those who have helped save a child, or to even inspire them to become more, you are superheroes to the rest of us.
71 reviews
October 6, 2010
I read this series many years ago. It's one of the most heart-wrenching stories I have ever read. The fact that it is a true story is what made me continue the series to see how it all worked out. It story is a horrible one and it sucked me in the way you have to slow down and look at an accident. Much of it is written so matter-of-factly yet you feel his pain. You come to understand that the horrors of his life were just that his daily life and he just had to get on somehow. That makes it even harder to bear and read. I cried too many times to count. Reading you learn firsthand the depths of evil, manipulation, looking the other way, brainwashing, and human resilience.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Profile Image for Patricia.
92 reviews30 followers
August 28, 2011
I don't think I've ever been as angry and appalled as i was when I read this book. When I originally read this book I was still a minor living with my mom, and I could not fathom the pain this little boy went through at the hands of his mother. I wanted to find her and throttle her for what she did to him. I was also disgusted by the adults that came across him- his "saviors", and thought that they should be in jail for their stupidity. No child deserves this type of treatment! I would recommend this book for enlightenment, but would caution first time readers that this book is very emotional and brutally honest.
Profile Image for Jennifer.
4 reviews1 follower
January 8, 2012
I agree with the previous review. This was on of the hardest books I had to read. Not because of the writting, but because of the content. The things this man had to go through as a child ripped at my heart. There was one point I actually had to stop reading for a while because I just felt awful for him.

While this isn't the regular type of book I read, I'm glad I did. While I may not run across a child in those circumstances to help, it makes me love and appreciate my son even more.
274 reviews
September 19, 2011
Considering the topic, I really thought the book was well written. It gave the reader a good idea on how David felt as a child while he was being abused mentally and physically. Once I started reading the book, I could not put it down. This book makes you realize the importance of what we say and doo, and how others interpret those words.
Profile Image for Libby.
355 reviews89 followers
April 10, 2009
Sociopathic serial killers are created from less abuse than he endured...the fact that he actually dealt with the abuse, became an incredibly generous member of society and stopped the cycle of abuse is just incredible. Harrowing stuff indeed.
Profile Image for Constance.
367 reviews
December 19, 2009
Amazing story! I read before I even had children and I was sobbing uncontrollably which made my husband ask why I kept reading, I just couldn't put it down. Hard to believe there are monsters like his mother out there!!!
Profile Image for Noni.
5 reviews
December 11, 2011
Shocking - violent but not angry. This story shows how a child can grow to adapt to the most sickening abuse, and then as an adult, embody the things he wished he saw in others growing up. Admirable - and without ego.
Profile Image for Gwen Davis.
1 review1 follower
June 7, 2020

This book helps educate people about how to be AWARE of children who are being brutalized in their own home; and how we can help them.

My heart broke for Author Dave Pelzer as he describes how horribly abused he was by his mother; while his father and siblings did nothing.

This book is well written and worth your time!

Now reading the second book ‘The Lost Boy’
Profile Image for Kuan.
24 reviews
May 9, 2012
This is not an easy book to read through. As I read this book, I can’t imagine how a mother could abuse her own flesh and blood to this extent. His mother never failed to shock me of the kind of “games” she could come up with, and the kind of lies she could come up with to cover up her sins whenever social worker and police officer checked on them. I am disappointed when his passive father chose to leave the family instead of stopping the abuse.

My heart goes out to the young David and I can’t imagine how a child like him can survive the ordeal for eight years. Fortunately he turned out to be a selfless man who went on to help the children who were abused. Kudos to his teachers, the social workers, his foster parents who have helped him move on with his new life.

The book serves as a good reminder to parents that we should never cross the line when it comes to disciplining the children. No matter how naughty they get, how enraged we get, we have to be mindful. Life nowadays is getting stressful, if there is no avenue of venting our frustration, we should never vent it on the helpless children. Spouses can choose to walk out, but how about the children?

Profile Image for irish camela.
7 reviews
August 23, 2011
The first part of the book is about the author’s misery, fear and how the abuse impacted on his life as he grew up, his struggle to develop meaningful relationships with his mother, father and siblings and for how many years he was misunderstood. (I had a hard time reading this book. I can’t believe that his mother can do such cruel act and badly abused him. I can’t believe that all has been told is true, that it really happened.) The second one highlights the trauma of and confusion of being passed from one foster home to another as he was removed from the family home. The last part of the trilogy tells how finds and fulfills his dreams and the life he makes for himself. I was amazed despite all this horrible life experience he was able to move on, survive and face life and become successful.
Profile Image for Lissa.
Author 17 books182 followers
Read
October 24, 2011
This is another one of those books where I say it is difficult to like.

But this is for another reason.

I have no doubt that some of the things reported by the memoirist actually happened, but the focus on the first book is the torture, and the focus on the subsequent two books in this anthology is also the childhood torture even though the focus should be on the life he was living at the time as an adult.

Pelzer is a very savvy businessman and knows what sells. He also knows how to sell himself. He can't remember what his mother looks like yet he can remember in graphic detail the torture she inflicted on him.

I didn't enjoy this book at all but it's certainly an eye opener to what happens to children out there.
Profile Image for Tracy.
19 reviews11 followers
September 6, 2011
I read these while in middle and high school. They made my heart HURT! The author was later on Oprah, and the book sky-rocketed. I cannot say that this was a book I enjoyed reading, but it was sonething I feel as though had to be read. You cannot learn from the mistakes of the past, if you do not know what they are. Everyone deserves to tell their stories, unfortunately, some are more painful than others.

These books were hard to read emotional, but were written well. Full of description and feeling, your heart goes out to this little boy as he grows up and stands tall even after everything he has been forced to endure. <3
Profile Image for Olivia Louise.
3 reviews
August 13, 2012
I can't finish this book... Not because of the brutality or any of that... This man forgave this woman for what she did? That's a joke, I won't finish this book because she did things that are
unforgivable, things she should've been imprisoned for... Imprisoned for life in fact... I also suspect religion may come into play so the whole thing has become a farce... Thanks for the suggestion friends but I think I'll pass on this one... Although David, I am very sorry for what you were put through...
22 reviews
September 16, 2010
I would highly recommend this book. It is a very depressing book that tells a story of a young boy that gets abused by his alcoholic mother. It was all about this author's childhood gone horrible with the extreme abuse, the torture and suffering. The author described everything he went through, all the pain he had to go through, how he felt and everything.This book was a hard one to read yet I couldn't put it down.
July 23, 2016
This book brought tears to my eyes. Explaining child abuse in a way that I have never imagined before. I feel like it has to be spread and everybody has to read it so their voice reaches societies. And I found it inspiring how things have changed in his life, triumph after a long-hard battle with suffer and starve. Writer did good job making me feel what David has gone through as if it were me. I still have un-answered questions of why his mother would treat him the way she did.
July 17, 2009
a real life horror story that is told simply and straightforward. dave's childhood was "lost" . . .one can't help but compare their own relationship to their family as one reads this. i'm so very, very thankful that i had been blessed with loving parents.
17 reviews
January 28, 2010
This book is so sad. The boy gets abused too much. If you read this i think you would feel bad and start crying like i did. I personally reccommend this book to every one. And to think that this is real and there is a kid out there that is getting abused like this one.:-(
175 reviews
April 19, 2010
A hard terrible story of survival by one small defenseless boy whom nobody seemed to notice being tortured and starved by his sick mother. The following books tell of his life subsequent to his horrific childhood and escape from his psychopathic mother.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 809 reviews

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