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Without You
“Tragedy brought us together, but something stronger made me want to stay.”
Julian was the boy next door. My brother’s best friend, he fit with my family in ways I never could. While he and Rhett went on to play house, I left the only life I knew, desperate for a fresh start.
Until everything changed.
Heartache came along, and the aftermath of my brother’s death was here to stay. I was now face to face with Julian more than I ever wanted to be.
Being around him brought up all my insecurities, forced me to deal with hard truths, and conjured up feelings I had no business entertaining. He wasn’t the man I thought I knew. He was complex and layered, and inherently beautiful in all the ways I’d never noticed.
Not on another person.
Not on another man.
Not until him.
Julian was the boy next door. My brother’s best friend, he fit with my family in ways I never could. While he and Rhett went on to play house, I left the only life I knew, desperate for a fresh start.
Until everything changed.
Heartache came along, and the aftermath of my brother’s death was here to stay. I was now face to face with Julian more than I ever wanted to be.
Being around him brought up all my insecurities, forced me to deal with hard truths, and conjured up feelings I had no business entertaining. He wasn’t the man I thought I knew. He was complex and layered, and inherently beautiful in all the ways I’d never noticed.
Not on another person.
Not on another man.
Not until him.
358 pages, Kindle Edition
First published March 20, 2020
About the author
Marley Valentine
27 books2,403 followersLiving in Sydney, Australia with her family, Marley Valentine is a USA Today bestselling author and a former social worker who uses her past experiences to write real life, emotional and heartfelt contemporary romance.
She enjoys mixing it up with both M/F and M/M Romance incorporating all forms of life, lust and love as her characters embark on their journey to their happily ever after.
When she’s not busy writing her own stories, she spends most of her time immersed in the words of her favourite authors.
Marley enjoys interacting with her readers so please feel free to reach out to her via Facebook, Instagram, email and/or subscribe to her newsletter.
STALK MARLEY
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Audio Newsletter: https://bit.ly/MarleyVAudio
Facebook: http://bit.ly/2VuYfg8
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Twitter: http://bit.ly/MarleyTwitter
BookBub: http://bit.ly/MVBookBub
Amazon: http://bit.ly/MarleyV
Goodreads: http://bit.ly/MVGoodreads
She enjoys mixing it up with both M/F and M/M Romance incorporating all forms of life, lust and love as her characters embark on their journey to their happily ever after.
When she’s not busy writing her own stories, she spends most of her time immersed in the words of her favourite authors.
Marley enjoys interacting with her readers so please feel free to reach out to her via Facebook, Instagram, email and/or subscribe to her newsletter.
STALK MARLEY
Newsletter: https://bit.ly/MarleyVNL
Audio Newsletter: https://bit.ly/MarleyVAudio
Facebook: http://bit.ly/2VuYfg8
Instagram: http://bit.ly/MVBooksIG
Twitter: http://bit.ly/MarleyTwitter
BookBub: http://bit.ly/MVBookBub
Amazon: http://bit.ly/MarleyV
Goodreads: http://bit.ly/MVGoodreads
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 1,789 reviews
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March 12, 2020
Without You is a stand alone M/M romance by Marley Valentine. This is a beautiful, unforgettable story of finding love after loss. It’s the story of two men finding the healing power of love in a way they never imagined.
Deacon Sutton grew up in Billings, Montana. He never felt like he fit in with his family, like he measured up. He moved to Seattle, Washington to start his own business, a successful mechanic’s shop, and to try to find happiness apart from his family. But it always eluded him.
Deacon’s younger brother, Rhett, fought a battle with cancer on and off for years. The love of Rhett’s life was their next door neighbor, Julian, who had been accepted as part of their family. When Rhett lost his battle, a family already fractured, fell further apart. Deacon distanced himself further from the family and Julian’s heart was forever broken.
It’s been a year since Rhett’s death, and Julian Reid is barely existing. He works at a bar at night, and still lives in the house he shared with Rhett. He hasn’t been able to move forward, just existing day to day. Rhett’s family wants everyone together for the one year anniversary of his death. This means seeing Rhett’s brother, Deacon again, the man who always seemed to dislike him for some reason.
“I really just want to be around him. I want him to invade my space and push my boundaries. For the first time, the unknown is much more appealing than everything I thought I knew, and I love the way it feels.”
Deacon is determined that during his stay with his family, he will mend fences. What he didn’t expect was the need to be near Julian, the need to touch him. Deacon has never, ever looked at a man with any kind of interest or attraction. But he finds himself having all kinds of strange feelings when he’s near Julian and he can’t figure out why. All he knows is that when he’s near him, he feels peace.
Deacon and Julian’s journey is beautiful and heart breaking. They are dealing with past pain, guilt, and trying to somehow begin a new path forward.
“All those missing pieces were no longer missing because I’d found them in Julian.”
I loved these two so, so much. I loved how they were with each other, how they held each other up. I loved that even though their feelings for each other confused them, they accepted them and explored them.
“Love pours out of him, like he’s been waiting his whole life to shower someone with it.”
This is a testament to love, to finding love in a place you never imagined, of grabbing hold of your chance for happiness in whatever form it presents itself. This is a love story that I will not soon forget.
“Trust me. Trust us.”
For more about this book and so many more, come and visit me at Carol's Crazy Bookish World.
https://www.facebook.com/groups/Carol...
Deacon Sutton grew up in Billings, Montana. He never felt like he fit in with his family, like he measured up. He moved to Seattle, Washington to start his own business, a successful mechanic’s shop, and to try to find happiness apart from his family. But it always eluded him.
Deacon’s younger brother, Rhett, fought a battle with cancer on and off for years. The love of Rhett’s life was their next door neighbor, Julian, who had been accepted as part of their family. When Rhett lost his battle, a family already fractured, fell further apart. Deacon distanced himself further from the family and Julian’s heart was forever broken.
It’s been a year since Rhett’s death, and Julian Reid is barely existing. He works at a bar at night, and still lives in the house he shared with Rhett. He hasn’t been able to move forward, just existing day to day. Rhett’s family wants everyone together for the one year anniversary of his death. This means seeing Rhett’s brother, Deacon again, the man who always seemed to dislike him for some reason.
“I really just want to be around him. I want him to invade my space and push my boundaries. For the first time, the unknown is much more appealing than everything I thought I knew, and I love the way it feels.”
Deacon is determined that during his stay with his family, he will mend fences. What he didn’t expect was the need to be near Julian, the need to touch him. Deacon has never, ever looked at a man with any kind of interest or attraction. But he finds himself having all kinds of strange feelings when he’s near Julian and he can’t figure out why. All he knows is that when he’s near him, he feels peace.
Deacon and Julian’s journey is beautiful and heart breaking. They are dealing with past pain, guilt, and trying to somehow begin a new path forward.
“All those missing pieces were no longer missing because I’d found them in Julian.”
I loved these two so, so much. I loved how they were with each other, how they held each other up. I loved that even though their feelings for each other confused them, they accepted them and explored them.
“Love pours out of him, like he’s been waiting his whole life to shower someone with it.”
This is a testament to love, to finding love in a place you never imagined, of grabbing hold of your chance for happiness in whatever form it presents itself. This is a love story that I will not soon forget.
“Trust me. Trust us.”
For more about this book and so many more, come and visit me at Carol's Crazy Bookish World.
https://www.facebook.com/groups/Carol...
Shelved as 'dnf'
January 5, 2024dnf @ 73%
2 stars because the story did grab me when I started reading it and I liked the first third or so. I liked the writing and the pacing was good.
But then everything started to happen too quickly, considering Deacon and Julian only spent 2 days in each other's company. This shift from sort of enemies to being attracted to each other was too sudden and I didn't understand why it happened and where it came from. Adding the fact that Deacon had never been attracted to a man before just made this whole thing even more unbelievable to me. Not to mention that Julian was his dead brother's boyfriend.
There are a few more things that didn't work for me here, but ultimately I just wasn't feeling them anymore.
2 stars because the story did grab me when I started reading it and I liked the first third or so. I liked the writing and the pacing was good.
But then everything started to happen too quickly, considering Deacon and Julian only spent 2 days in each other's company. This shift from sort of enemies to being attracted to each other was too sudden and I didn't understand why it happened and where it came from. Adding the fact that Deacon had never been attracted to a man before just made this whole thing even more unbelievable to me. Not to mention that Julian was his dead brother's boyfriend.
There are a few more things that didn't work for me here, but ultimately I just wasn't feeling them anymore.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 5, 2024
B-O-R-I-N-G
What does that spell?
BORING!
also, absolutely trashy ending: BOY BYE!
What does that spell?
BORING!
also, absolutely trashy ending: BOY BYE!
March 15, 2020
The second I saw this beautiful cover, I was done... but once I read the blurb? I knew I HAD to read this book!!! 😍❤
Deacon and Julian were never friends, but tragedy brought them together. 🙏
Rhett, Deacon's younger brother and Julian's boyfriend - died - and all they feel is grief and remorse. 💔
Deacon comes from a loving family, but he never felt that love... It's been years since Deacon left to Seattle, far from the people who judge him at every opportunity - but on the first anniversary of Rhett's death, everything changes when Deacon's finally decides to get to know Julian. 💥
Julian's life has never been easy. He grew up in a foster home, fell in love with the boy next door - and then had to watch him fight and lose the battle to cancer - and now he's broken, feeling like a charity case to Rhett's family. 💔
Now that Deacon suddenly insist on spending time with him after years of feeling resentment and hatred, Julian is confused. And if that's not confusing enough - the sexual tension between them is hot... burning... scorching!!!!! 🔥
But Deacon is straight, Isn't he...? 😱
Although tragedy brought them together, something stronger made them stay connected. 💥
📚 "𝐒𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐈 𝐰𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐟 𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐨 𝐞𝐦𝐩𝐭𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰 𝐬𝐞𝐞𝐦𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐬𝐞." 📚
This is a story about two broken souls who connected in an unlikely way, at the most inappropriate time - which turned their journey into an ultimate "Love Conquers All" story! ❤❤❤
Marley's touching writing made me feel everything. The pain was so palpable that all I wanted was to get inside the pages and give them a hug! Oh boy, my heart broke (especially for Deacon 😭). For their grief and loss... and for the guilt of choosing to continue living. 💔
However, at first their relationship felt "wrong", because well, he was his dead brother's ex... Plus, it took me a while to feel the chemistry, but once it happened - I was HOOKED! I loved that Deacon didn't feel uncomfortable about his attraction for Julian - even though it was all new to him! ❤😍
BUT... at one point, I felt that their relationship progressed too quickly and I wanted to yell "SLOW DOWN"! 😂
📚 "𝐀𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐞𝐥𝐭 𝐬𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐥 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐧𝐨𝐰. 𝐔𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐥 𝐈 𝐤𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐚 𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐃𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐨𝐧 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐞." 📚
This is a story of loss, forgiveness and love. The writing was full of emotion, the characters were deep and I loved the way they evolved during the plot - dealing with harsh truths and emotions they never thought they would feel.
I cried, I sighed, I swooned, I raged, I loved... 💔💥💔💥
This is the first book I read by this author, and I can't wait to read more!!! 👑
*** 𝕀 𝕣𝕖𝕔𝕖𝕚𝕧𝕖𝕕 𝕒𝕟 𝔸ℝℂ 𝕗𝕣𝕠𝕞 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕒𝕦𝕥𝕙𝕠𝕣 𝕗𝕠𝕣 𝕒𝕟 𝕙𝕠𝕟𝕖𝕤𝕥 𝕣𝕖𝕧𝕚𝕖𝕨 ***
▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️
📖 ᖴOᒪᒪOᗯ ᗰE Oᑎ IᑎᔕTᗩGᖇᗩᗰ: 🎉 https://www.instagram.com/the_romanti...
📖 ᐯIᔕIT ᗰY ᗷᒪOG ᖴOᖇ ᗰOᖇE ᖇEᐯIEᗯᔕ: https://books-romance.com/
September 22, 2021
Re-read, this time the audio which was excellent, you can never go wrong with Teddy Hamilton. Tim Paige is new to me but he’s a pretty good narrator as well.
Also, Idk if I missed it (like how the hell could I have possibly missed it?!) but there was an epilogue I don’t recall. So, either it’s new or I’m crazy (sadly this is a likely candidate). Either way it was nice to get a whole new chapter into Julian and Deacon’s life because I’ll never get enough of them!
Original review:
It didn’t take me long to come to the conclusion that this is my favorite book this year.
It’s easy for me to understand the jealousy and animosity Deacon has felt concerning his family and Julian. I had a sister who died as a baby and as my mother’s only daughter I was compared and had a lot of expectations on my back. You can’t compete with a ghost and even while Rhett was alive he was expected to die, so the same applies.
Deacon is such a contradiction; his emotions are crippled yet he drives 10 hours every other weekend to leave candy on his brother’s grave. I feel like it’s just a matter of time before he breaks.
I think a big issue is nobody seems to think they should argue. Or you know, just give their opinion. Guess y’all don’t know what happens when you bottle stuff up.
It sucks when you’re the scapegoat.
It’s a testament to how good Marley’s writing is; Julian’s feelings are so confused about Deacon that I’m also confused by his thoughts and actions. To feel that connected to a character is mind blowing.
Holy Shit! Deacon and Julian with their niece is the sweetest, cutest thing ever. My mind and my body say no but my heart and my uterus say have another one.
They know each other like they know themselves. Do you think that’s normal? That you find that with just anyone? It’s special and soon they’ll realize it’s once in a lifetime.
This made me realize I don’t hate angst, I dislike angst that doesn’t make sense to me like a lack of communication. This angst? This battle of what’s right and wrong makes every bit of sense to me. And it tears me up and just as quickly heals me.
Oh wow, I’m crying just because Wade is such an amazing friend to Deacon. I hope to god he listens.
And then when I thought I was finally done crying we had to end with that letter. 🥺😭
I’m sorry to say I was right about him breaking but of course Julian was there to help him pick up the pieces. They’re perfect and I fucking adore them. I want to imagine them living the longest, best life together where Deacon buys him all the gloves he’ll ever need.
Also, Idk if I missed it (like how the hell could I have possibly missed it?!) but there was an epilogue I don’t recall. So, either it’s new or I’m crazy (sadly this is a likely candidate). Either way it was nice to get a whole new chapter into Julian and Deacon’s life because I’ll never get enough of them!
Original review:
It didn’t take me long to come to the conclusion that this is my favorite book this year.
It’s easy for me to understand the jealousy and animosity Deacon has felt concerning his family and Julian. I had a sister who died as a baby and as my mother’s only daughter I was compared and had a lot of expectations on my back. You can’t compete with a ghost and even while Rhett was alive he was expected to die, so the same applies.
Deacon is such a contradiction; his emotions are crippled yet he drives 10 hours every other weekend to leave candy on his brother’s grave. I feel like it’s just a matter of time before he breaks.
I think a big issue is nobody seems to think they should argue. Or you know, just give their opinion. Guess y’all don’t know what happens when you bottle stuff up.
It sucks when you’re the scapegoat.
It’s a testament to how good Marley’s writing is; Julian’s feelings are so confused about Deacon that I’m also confused by his thoughts and actions. To feel that connected to a character is mind blowing.
Holy Shit! Deacon and Julian with their niece is the sweetest, cutest thing ever. My mind and my body say no but my heart and my uterus say have another one.
They know each other like they know themselves. Do you think that’s normal? That you find that with just anyone? It’s special and soon they’ll realize it’s once in a lifetime.
This made me realize I don’t hate angst, I dislike angst that doesn’t make sense to me like a lack of communication. This angst? This battle of what’s right and wrong makes every bit of sense to me. And it tears me up and just as quickly heals me.
Oh wow, I’m crying just because Wade is such an amazing friend to Deacon. I hope to god he listens.
And then when I thought I was finally done crying we had to end with that letter. 🥺😭
I’m sorry to say I was right about him breaking but of course Julian was there to help him pick up the pieces. They’re perfect and I fucking adore them. I want to imagine them living the longest, best life together where Deacon buys him all the gloves he’ll ever need.
March 10, 2020
Six Stars ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
You know that moment you finish a book and you just know you’re going to remember it forever. That’s this book. It's EVERYTHING I love about MM storytelling.
I was in a bit of a book funk after some recent treasures & couldn’t find a story to capture me. Something that let me escape. Then boom along comes Without You.
I felt connected to these characters from almost their first scene. Something in them resonated with me and I had to force myself to slow down while reading as I was so anxious to see what was coming next. For me it’s the perfect balance of masculinity with vulnerability. The sexual chemistry between two men, that raw love, the kind that pours from the page.
Theirs isn’t an easy love story. It’s not a meet cute kinda love story. It’s an I can’t help myself from loving you kinda love story. It’s honest, it’s heartfelt and the connection between the characters felt so genuine I feel like I know them. It’s about valuing yourself, even when those around you don’t. It’s about second acts, the love that comes after…
At times I cried so hard I couldn’t see and the next minute I was smiling like a crazy person. It’s a character driven book. Beautiful dialogue & a subtle look at falling in love in spite of yourself and finding your happily ever after. I have to say Marley Valentine has one of the best MM voices I’ve read. Her male POV is perfection and I for one hope she gives me many more books like this one.
It’s going into my forever favourites folder and I cannot recommend it enough.
Beta read
You know that moment you finish a book and you just know you’re going to remember it forever. That’s this book. It's EVERYTHING I love about MM storytelling.
I was in a bit of a book funk after some recent treasures & couldn’t find a story to capture me. Something that let me escape. Then boom along comes Without You.
I felt connected to these characters from almost their first scene. Something in them resonated with me and I had to force myself to slow down while reading as I was so anxious to see what was coming next. For me it’s the perfect balance of masculinity with vulnerability. The sexual chemistry between two men, that raw love, the kind that pours from the page.
Theirs isn’t an easy love story. It’s not a meet cute kinda love story. It’s an I can’t help myself from loving you kinda love story. It’s honest, it’s heartfelt and the connection between the characters felt so genuine I feel like I know them. It’s about valuing yourself, even when those around you don’t. It’s about second acts, the love that comes after…
At times I cried so hard I couldn’t see and the next minute I was smiling like a crazy person. It’s a character driven book. Beautiful dialogue & a subtle look at falling in love in spite of yourself and finding your happily ever after. I have to say Marley Valentine has one of the best MM voices I’ve read. Her male POV is perfection and I for one hope she gives me many more books like this one.
It’s going into my forever favourites folder and I cannot recommend it enough.
Beta read
September 25, 2022
I absolutely devoured this novel. It was my first from this author and definitely not my last. It contains a variety of tropes that felt unique and poignant to both main characters. This story contains hurt/comfort, bisexual awakening, and second chances. I could not put this romance down and anxiously anticipate more from this wonderful author. This was a story that immediately grabs your attention as you move forward on a fantastic journey.
August 24, 2020
Audiobook - 4stars
Story - 3.75 stars
I am knocking off the 1.25 stars because of that breathe Deacon had to release and the unnecessary PDA.😵😏
I have been reading lots of mm contemporary lately and enjoying them, I need to be checked out, it is so unlike me. Aliens have invaded my body.😑😁
Anyhoo, long story short, I enjoyed this one thanks to Annery's review.😍 I mourn that awesome review.😩
I found the story interesting, angsty and sweet. Deacon, bless his heart, I loved him. Julian is one incredible guy, loved him too. I need both of them in my life. 😍 The chemistry between them was incredible and I felt their connection from the beginning. It was slow burn,just the way I liked it.
I felt the family dynamic was realistic, I know mothers like Deacon's mum. She is one selfish, inconsiderate mum. I disliked her alot. I loved the rest of the family.
Overall, I enjoyed this one more than I expected.
Story - 3.75 stars
I am knocking off the 1.25 stars because of that breathe Deacon had to release and the unnecessary PDA.😵😏
I have been reading lots of mm contemporary lately and enjoying them, I need to be checked out, it is so unlike me. Aliens have invaded my body.😑😁
Anyhoo, long story short, I enjoyed this one thanks to Annery's review.😍 I mourn that awesome review.😩
I found the story interesting, angsty and sweet. Deacon, bless his heart, I loved him. Julian is one incredible guy, loved him too. I need both of them in my life. 😍 The chemistry between them was incredible and I felt their connection from the beginning. It was slow burn,just the way I liked it.
I felt the family dynamic was realistic, I know mothers like Deacon's mum. She is one selfish, inconsiderate mum. I disliked her alot. I loved the rest of the family.
Overall, I enjoyed this one more than I expected.
March 14, 2020
5 Perfect Distraction Stars ⭐
"Honor his memory by living."
Two men brought together by loss and despair. Deacon and Julian were never friends. But they were once linked by Rhett. The man who was a brother to Deacon and a lover to Julian. With his passing, all that's left is grief and regret. Where Deacon left town years ago choosing avoidance, Julian has remained behind barely existing.
Deacon comes from a loving family except he's never felt the love extended to him. Now living in Seattle and running a successful business, returning home is a chore. With the anniversary of his brother's death, circumstances change dramatically when he finally decides to get to know Julian, the boy he's always dismissed.
"I’m not actively trying to be a dickhead to him, but I’m not a people person on the best of days. I’ve never been good with the boy who got all my brother’s attention growing up, and I’m not good with the man who has all my mother’s focus now."
Julian has experienced hardship all his life. Being orphaned young, falling in love with the boy next door and then watching him fight and lose his battle with cancer, he's hardly living. Now with the return of Deacon stirring up emotions and insisting on being his friend, has left him unsettled.
To make matters even more confusing, what's the deal with the sexual tension between them since Deacon is straight?
“Tell me,” he repeats.
“I’m the straight guy, whose dick got hard for a guy for the first time in my whole life, and now you want to chicken out on me?”
Can I just say what a story?! Without You packed a punch and sucked me in from the very first page. This book deals with so many topics from loss, dysfunctional families, forgiveness and newfound love. How this author made it perfectly believable that a straight man could comfortably embrace homosexuality was commendable. I imagine if one is comfortable in themselves why not accept what makes them happy. This is exactly what Deacon did once he let down his guard. As for Julian, the man was a Saint. With all he endured, he never lost his humanity or compassion and brought out a side in Deacon that was carefully locked away.
Both Deacon and Julian were forced to step out of their comfort zones to reassess. This wasn't easy or quick. The story developed organically forcing you to feel. And let me assure you that even with all the obstacles, these two packed a lot of heat 🔥
"Independence lies to you, tells you you’re doing fine on your own. But alone never felt so lonely until right now. Until I knew what it was like to have a man like Deacon want to take care of me."
"Honor his memory by living."
Two men brought together by loss and despair. Deacon and Julian were never friends. But they were once linked by Rhett. The man who was a brother to Deacon and a lover to Julian. With his passing, all that's left is grief and regret. Where Deacon left town years ago choosing avoidance, Julian has remained behind barely existing.
Deacon comes from a loving family except he's never felt the love extended to him. Now living in Seattle and running a successful business, returning home is a chore. With the anniversary of his brother's death, circumstances change dramatically when he finally decides to get to know Julian, the boy he's always dismissed.
"I’m not actively trying to be a dickhead to him, but I’m not a people person on the best of days. I’ve never been good with the boy who got all my brother’s attention growing up, and I’m not good with the man who has all my mother’s focus now."
Julian has experienced hardship all his life. Being orphaned young, falling in love with the boy next door and then watching him fight and lose his battle with cancer, he's hardly living. Now with the return of Deacon stirring up emotions and insisting on being his friend, has left him unsettled.
To make matters even more confusing, what's the deal with the sexual tension between them since Deacon is straight?
“Tell me,” he repeats.
“I’m the straight guy, whose dick got hard for a guy for the first time in my whole life, and now you want to chicken out on me?”
Can I just say what a story?! Without You packed a punch and sucked me in from the very first page. This book deals with so many topics from loss, dysfunctional families, forgiveness and newfound love. How this author made it perfectly believable that a straight man could comfortably embrace homosexuality was commendable. I imagine if one is comfortable in themselves why not accept what makes them happy. This is exactly what Deacon did once he let down his guard. As for Julian, the man was a Saint. With all he endured, he never lost his humanity or compassion and brought out a side in Deacon that was carefully locked away.
Both Deacon and Julian were forced to step out of their comfort zones to reassess. This wasn't easy or quick. The story developed organically forcing you to feel. And let me assure you that even with all the obstacles, these two packed a lot of heat 🔥
"Independence lies to you, tells you you’re doing fine on your own. But alone never felt so lonely until right now. Until I knew what it was like to have a man like Deacon want to take care of me."
June 2, 2021
6/2/2021...HAPPY PRIDE MONTH!
The audiobook is on sale for $3.99 on Chirp for a limited time.
https://www.chirpbooks.com/audiobooks...
_________
Audio 5++ Stars
Story 4.5 Stars
I loved this! There was just enough push pull at the beginning to keep it interesting, but not exhausting/frustrating. Overall, I loved how the relationship developed between the MCs.
I didn't care for the grand gesture. It seemed more self serving than romantic. That's the only reason I'm knocking off .5 star and not rounding up.
The audiobook is on sale for $3.99 on Chirp for a limited time.
https://www.chirpbooks.com/audiobooks...
_________
Audio 5++ Stars
Story 4.5 Stars
I loved this! There was just enough push pull at the beginning to keep it interesting, but not exhausting/frustrating. Overall, I loved how the relationship developed between the MCs.
I didn't care for the grand gesture. It seemed more self serving than romantic. That's the only reason I'm knocking off .5 star and not rounding up.
July 28, 2022
Without You is an epic love story that unifies two lost souls. This story deserves its [EDIT] 5 stars however if I could give the book 100 stars, I SO WOULD.
I started reading this book with zero expectations and it turns out to be an amazingly heartbreaking and cute story?!
Before picking Without You up, I never heard of the author Mary Valentine. Also I was a bit skeptical because of the story arc. A straight guy falling for his dead brother's boyfriend? I was expecting it to be weird or even uncomfortable. However, the relationship development between Deacon and Julian is so pure as well as sincere. Their connection is really natural. After a while, you even forgot the fact that Julian used to be Rhett's boyfriend. It is exactly like Wade, Deacon's best friend, says: Deacon and Julian belong together. Also Julian says multiple times that Deacon is nothing like Rhett so that their relationship can be seen seperately. Deacon and Julian are a couple with deep feelings towards one another. Both men are missing the same thing in their lives. Someone who is willing to take care of them and unconditional love. Deacon and Julian find this in each other. They were always meant to be. I truly believe it would have happened regardless Rhett had survived his cancer. The tension between the both of them had always been existent from the beginning. Deacon and Julian were always meant to end up together.
I was so pleasantly surprised by this story and its characters that I would recommend it to any reader who loves reading romance books.
EXTRA NOTE: After rereading Without You, I am certain that this is truly one of my favorite books of all times! The love story between Julian and Deacon is so emotionally overwhelming but it feels SO GOOD to feel all of those emotions as well as a reader. Julian and Deacon ALWAYS.
I started reading this book with zero expectations and it turns out to be an amazingly heartbreaking and cute story?!
Before picking Without You up, I never heard of the author Mary Valentine. Also I was a bit skeptical because of the story arc. A straight guy falling for his dead brother's boyfriend? I was expecting it to be weird or even uncomfortable. However, the relationship development between Deacon and Julian is so pure as well as sincere. Their connection is really natural. After a while, you even forgot the fact that Julian used to be Rhett's boyfriend. It is exactly like Wade, Deacon's best friend, says: Deacon and Julian belong together. Also Julian says multiple times that Deacon is nothing like Rhett so that their relationship can be seen seperately. Deacon and Julian are a couple with deep feelings towards one another. Both men are missing the same thing in their lives. Someone who is willing to take care of them and unconditional love. Deacon and Julian find this in each other. They were always meant to be. I truly believe it would have happened regardless Rhett had survived his cancer. The tension between the both of them had always been existent from the beginning. Deacon and Julian were always meant to end up together.
I was so pleasantly surprised by this story and its characters that I would recommend it to any reader who loves reading romance books.
EXTRA NOTE: After rereading Without You, I am certain that this is truly one of my favorite books of all times! The love story between Julian and Deacon is so emotionally overwhelming but it feels SO GOOD to feel all of those emotions as well as a reader. Julian and Deacon ALWAYS.
March 10, 2020
Words. I have none. Marley Valentine poured all the beautiful ones onto the pages of Without You, leaving me speechless. Stunned. Emotionally wrecked. I don’t even know where to begin. All I know is she wrecked my heart and then stitched it back up in the most perfect way ever. This book made me bawl. I felt every crushing emotion these heroes went through. Every single one of them. I bled when they bled. Cried when they cried. Laughed when they laughed. Marley blew my mind, shredded my soul, and bruised my heart with this book. This book wasn’t a simple read. It was an emotional cyclone that I was caught up in. Nothing mattered but the love in the story I was desperately rooting for. This book is pure poetry of the heart. It’s not just my favorite read this year, but one of my favorites ever. It’ll be a long time before I stop thinking about this book. Maybe not ever. FIVE BROODY BOYS STARS!
June 19, 2021
TW loss of a loved one
SO SAD AND EMOTIONAL. This book is about Julian and Deacon, who are both still grieving over the loss of Rhett. Julian was Rhett's boyfriend and Deacon was Rhett's brother and they're still grieving losing Rhett. Julian is living in the past and refuses to move on while Deacon feels like he will still never be as good as Rhett in the eyes of his parents. Julian and Deacon grow closer at the one year anniversary of Rhett and start falling for each other. I really loved the first half of this book and how emotional and then playful the story grew. Deacon really let his walls come down as he started to fall for Julian. The emotion was still always there, but I loved how they turned playful as they were flirting with each other and acknowledging their attraction for one another. After that, though, the story really slowed down for me and I stopped really loving the story. While I was all-consumed for the first half, I was just passively listening to the audiobook for the second half. That vulnerability between the heroes was still there, but the plot itself wasn't as engaging anymore. But if you want an emotional and slightly forbidden read, I'd recommend picking this up!
SO SAD AND EMOTIONAL. This book is about Julian and Deacon, who are both still grieving over the loss of Rhett. Julian was Rhett's boyfriend and Deacon was Rhett's brother and they're still grieving losing Rhett. Julian is living in the past and refuses to move on while Deacon feels like he will still never be as good as Rhett in the eyes of his parents. Julian and Deacon grow closer at the one year anniversary of Rhett and start falling for each other. I really loved the first half of this book and how emotional and then playful the story grew. Deacon really let his walls come down as he started to fall for Julian. The emotion was still always there, but I loved how they turned playful as they were flirting with each other and acknowledging their attraction for one another. After that, though, the story really slowed down for me and I stopped really loving the story. While I was all-consumed for the first half, I was just passively listening to the audiobook for the second half. That vulnerability between the heroes was still there, but the plot itself wasn't as engaging anymore. But if you want an emotional and slightly forbidden read, I'd recommend picking this up!
October 1, 2023
This review will contain spoilers and general ranting.
The vast majority of my friends gave this book 5 glowing stars. So I possibly went in with my expectations way too high. I found myself bored at times, and wished these characters spent a little more time getting to know one another before the relationship blossomed.
Very much GFY
Deceased brother’s boyfriend
Instantly hate to love
Unhealthy family drama
Worst mother award
Grief and healing
The amount of times the reader is told that Deacon is not gay, he’s only attracted to Julian begin to feel uncomfortable. I think it was meant to be romantic, but…
Maybe this is considered romantic because we fantasize about someone being so head over heels just for us, that they set aside all their previous desires. It just felt overdone, unrealistic and pushy in the story. But I guess this is what fiction is for.
But what really sealed it for me was Julian. I can’t believe he didn’t open those letters!!!! Rhett took the time to write out his heartfelt last words in beautiful calligraphy, found the perfect wooden box to place them in, and Julian didn’t even read them!!!! What is the point of including these letters in the story? Was this just a symbolic move on Julian’s part, to let go of his past relationship? It felt like such a disrespectful move to not honor the man you loved so deeply by NOT reading his last words.
“I’m not attracted to men,” I say boldly. “I’m only attracted to you.”
The vast majority of my friends gave this book 5 glowing stars. So I possibly went in with my expectations way too high. I found myself bored at times, and wished these characters spent a little more time getting to know one another before the relationship blossomed.
Very much GFY
Deceased brother’s boyfriend
Instantly hate to love
Unhealthy family drama
Worst mother award
Grief and healing
The amount of times the reader is told that Deacon is not gay, he’s only attracted to Julian begin to feel uncomfortable. I think it was meant to be romantic, but…
Julian tsks. “Dick has turned you greedy.”
“No.” I smirk. “Your dick has turned me greedy.”
Maybe this is considered romantic because we fantasize about someone being so head over heels just for us, that they set aside all their previous desires. It just felt overdone, unrealistic and pushy in the story. But I guess this is what fiction is for.
I am a straight man. I always have been. There isn’t a time in my life where I can even recall giving another man a second glance—my attraction to Julian makes absolutely no sense.
But what really sealed it for me was Julian. I can’t believe he didn’t open those letters!!!! Rhett took the time to write out his heartfelt last words in beautiful calligraphy, found the perfect wooden box to place them in, and Julian didn’t even read them!!!! What is the point of including these letters in the story? Was this just a symbolic move on Julian’s part, to let go of his past relationship? It felt like such a disrespectful move to not honor the man you loved so deeply by NOT reading his last words.
January 26, 2024
4.5 😫😭
Started this sooner than i thought because of Teddy hamilton , stayed for Deacon and julian!! Loved this one SO MUCH😭😭😭
_Mini review to come
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y'all didn't see me ignoring my TBR and bringing this to the TOP just bc I realized Teddy Hamilton narrated this one!!!! Like I wasn't already excited to read it😭
get out of my way please🏃🏻♀️🏃🏻♀️🏃🏻♀️🏃🏻♀️🏃🏻♀️🏃🏻♀️
Started this sooner than i thought because of Teddy hamilton , stayed for Deacon and julian!! Loved this one SO MUCH😭😭😭
_Mini review to come
_______________
y'all didn't see me ignoring my TBR and bringing this to the TOP just bc I realized Teddy Hamilton narrated this one!!!! Like I wasn't already excited to read it😭
get out of my way please🏃🏻♀️🏃🏻♀️🏃🏻♀️🏃🏻♀️🏃🏻♀️🏃🏻♀️
March 25, 2020
3.5 "Mr. Broody" Stars
Sometimes I wonder if death really is the worst thing, because being alive and feeling so empty and hollow seems to be much worse.
Deacon had grown up feeling like the wrong puzzle piece, not really fitting in anywhere, not really doing anything exceptional. He tried to find his feet within his family, but it never felt like it was enough.
A year ago, Deacon’s brother (Rhett) died from cancer and left Deacon with grief and sadness. His life without his brother was empty. His brother took everything good with him.
We’re so broken, so lost. Unsure of the future, and unable to let go of the past.
With Rhett’s death, Julian not only lost his boyfriend but he lost his best friend and the future they planned for together. That was what hurt him the most…
Deacon didn’t like Julian much because of the jealousy he felt most of his life, Julian was the boy who got all his brother’s attention and the man who has all his mother’s focus now. And now with returning to the town and seeing him again…
Told in dual POV, 1st person, it’s a standalone novel. This was my first read by this author and I enjoyed it. It’s an emotional read, GFY romance, slow burn, with a good dose of sexual tension between the MCs. It’s an enemies-to-lovers story but not really enemies, you just can feel something there but not really there, if you know what I mean! My only complaint is that at some places I felt it dragged, it had the potential to be much better. All in all, it was a good read and hope you like it as well!
Sometimes I wonder if death really is the worst thing, because being alive and feeling so empty and hollow seems to be much worse.
Deacon had grown up feeling like the wrong puzzle piece, not really fitting in anywhere, not really doing anything exceptional. He tried to find his feet within his family, but it never felt like it was enough.
A year ago, Deacon’s brother (Rhett) died from cancer and left Deacon with grief and sadness. His life without his brother was empty. His brother took everything good with him.
We’re so broken, so lost. Unsure of the future, and unable to let go of the past.
With Rhett’s death, Julian not only lost his boyfriend but he lost his best friend and the future they planned for together. That was what hurt him the most…
Deacon didn’t like Julian much because of the jealousy he felt most of his life, Julian was the boy who got all his brother’s attention and the man who has all his mother’s focus now. And now with returning to the town and seeing him again…
Told in dual POV, 1st person, it’s a standalone novel. This was my first read by this author and I enjoyed it. It’s an emotional read, GFY romance, slow burn, with a good dose of sexual tension between the MCs. It’s an enemies-to-lovers story but not really enemies, you just can feel something there but not really there, if you know what I mean! My only complaint is that at some places I felt it dragged, it had the potential to be much better. All in all, it was a good read and hope you like it as well!
April 26, 2022
**re-read 04/26/2022**
While I have read this book twice this was my first audio listen to Without You and it was sweet perfection. I adore Teddy Hamilton, but I have never quite heard Tim Paige in this way before. His voice was emotional when it needed to be and sinfully sexy at other times. Even with my third read of this book I have no doubt I will probably listen to it again next year. It is still a five-star read for me and then some!!
**re-read 01/28/2021**
I've been seeing this book everywhere over the last couple of weeks so that I knew I had to do a re-read. Mainly because this was my first MM book EVER and I just wanted to see if the story held up the way it did in mind. The answer to that is 100% YES!!
If possible, I loved Deacon and Julian even more the second time around. The last time I read this book I was so absorbed in the story that I read it with fury just trying to see what was going to come of their story. This time I was able to really take in the feelings that both guys were having, and I was sucked in way more than I expected. Of course, I cried like a baby.
One of the main things I noticed this time around that I didn't really notice the last time was that Deacon was never really uncomfortable for his feelings for Julian. He was attracted to him for who he was and not just his physical appearance, but he just knew that he had never felt this way about someone before and he wasn't about to let his feelings about how he lacked get in the way of the man he loved.
To me, this is just one of those perfect and beautiful stories. It made me feel so much with both readings and while I was sad again to say goodbye in my imagination Deacon and Julian are living the lives they fought so hard for in Seattle, in a home that they created for themselves. A place that is theirs.
**original review 03/16/2020**
PLAIN AND SIMPLE THIS BOOK IS 100% PERFECTION!!!
Let me start by saying this is first M/M romance novel. To me this is a once in a year epic novel. A story with not only love, angst and heat but a story that makes you question things in your life you never would have questioned before. I fell in love with this story. I was a part of this story.
“How did I ever think this man was indifferent and unfeeling? Love pours out of him, like he’s been waiting his whole life to shower someone with it.”
I keep typing and I keep deleting because not matter what I say I will NEVER be able to do this story justice. There were times where I was laughing so hard, I was crying and other times I was just crying because of how real this story felt. Marley Valentine made me fall in love with not only Deacon and Julian but with M/M romance.
Read this book loves, it will change your life.......
While I have read this book twice this was my first audio listen to Without You and it was sweet perfection. I adore Teddy Hamilton, but I have never quite heard Tim Paige in this way before. His voice was emotional when it needed to be and sinfully sexy at other times. Even with my third read of this book I have no doubt I will probably listen to it again next year. It is still a five-star read for me and then some!!
**re-read 01/28/2021**
I've been seeing this book everywhere over the last couple of weeks so that I knew I had to do a re-read. Mainly because this was my first MM book EVER and I just wanted to see if the story held up the way it did in mind. The answer to that is 100% YES!!
If possible, I loved Deacon and Julian even more the second time around. The last time I read this book I was so absorbed in the story that I read it with fury just trying to see what was going to come of their story. This time I was able to really take in the feelings that both guys were having, and I was sucked in way more than I expected. Of course, I cried like a baby.
One of the main things I noticed this time around that I didn't really notice the last time was that Deacon was never really uncomfortable for his feelings for Julian. He was attracted to him for who he was and not just his physical appearance, but he just knew that he had never felt this way about someone before and he wasn't about to let his feelings about how he lacked get in the way of the man he loved.
To me, this is just one of those perfect and beautiful stories. It made me feel so much with both readings and while I was sad again to say goodbye in my imagination Deacon and Julian are living the lives they fought so hard for in Seattle, in a home that they created for themselves. A place that is theirs.
**original review 03/16/2020**
PLAIN AND SIMPLE THIS BOOK IS 100% PERFECTION!!!
Let me start by saying this is first M/M romance novel. To me this is a once in a year epic novel. A story with not only love, angst and heat but a story that makes you question things in your life you never would have questioned before. I fell in love with this story. I was a part of this story.
“How did I ever think this man was indifferent and unfeeling? Love pours out of him, like he’s been waiting his whole life to shower someone with it.”
I keep typing and I keep deleting because not matter what I say I will NEVER be able to do this story justice. There were times where I was laughing so hard, I was crying and other times I was just crying because of how real this story felt. Marley Valentine made me fall in love with not only Deacon and Julian but with M/M romance.
Read this book loves, it will change your life.......
April 13, 2022
***4.0 rating***
“He might’ve had a piece of my heart, Deacon, but you own it. It’s yours till the day you say you don’t want it.”
Second reread: April 2022
Still an emotional but beautiful read.
It hurts for me to lower the rating for this book from a 5.0 rating to 4.0 rating, but when I first read this book I had not yet read that many MM romance books.
And after reading so many books now, well my standards have changed. Don't get me wrong I still love this book but Elaine (Deacon's mom) made this book difficult to read. It hindered my rereading experience. I still hate that bitch with passion and I forgot how fast paced the romance in this book was. Hence why I had to lower the rating second time around.
Still a lovely read but that bitch Elaine 🤬🤬 made me lower the rating.
Sidenote: my dumbass never read the cute little epilogue 🤦🏼♀️🤡. I am so happy they got their HEA. After that mess with the mom and the dead brother, it's very much deserved 💕.
“He might’ve had a piece of my heart, Deacon, but you own it. It’s yours till the day you say you don’t want it.”
Second reread: April 2022
Still an emotional but beautiful read.
It hurts for me to lower the rating for this book from a 5.0 rating to 4.0 rating, but when I first read this book I had not yet read that many MM romance books.
And after reading so many books now, well my standards have changed. Don't get me wrong I still love this book but Elaine (Deacon's mom) made this book difficult to read. It hindered my rereading experience. I still hate that bitch with passion and I forgot how fast paced the romance in this book was. Hence why I had to lower the rating second time around.
Still a lovely read but that bitch Elaine 🤬🤬 made me lower the rating.
Sidenote: my dumbass never read the cute little epilogue 🤦🏼♀️🤡. I am so happy they got their HEA. After that mess with the mom and the dead brother, it's very much deserved 💕.
Read
March 10, 2021DNF @37%
I wish I could like this as much as the cover!
Apologies to my GR friends who loved this, but I’m just not buying this instant attraction that’s come from nowhere. I really liked one of the opening scenes where Deacon comforts Julian but apart from that, I’m struggling to connect with this. When you’d rather jet-wash the patio than continue reading, it’s time to move on.
I wish I could like this as much as the cover!
Apologies to my GR friends who loved this, but I’m just not buying this instant attraction that’s come from nowhere. I really liked one of the opening scenes where Deacon comforts Julian but apart from that, I’m struggling to connect with this. When you’d rather jet-wash the patio than continue reading, it’s time to move on.
September 17, 2024
☆My full review☆
SEND ME A REASON TO LIVE 🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣
If I recommend this book to you then I fucking hate your guts . I hate you with every fibre in my being . I hate that you exist . I hate you that make me sick.
SO I want you to suffer .
WOMP WOMP , i don't have that person in my life so I will never recommend it 🥲 ( at least not yet)
This book took me almost 2 months to finish it .... 2 MONTHS !!!!!!!!!!
I ATE THE FIST HALF OF THE BOOK UP IN ONE NIGHT I COULD NOT PUT IT DOWN , my eyes were heavy with sleep I was tired my mind was like * it's late go to sleep gurrrrl the book won't run away *butttt I couldn't find it in me to just stop and sleep( SLEEP ???? WHO IS THIS?? ) and then I was scared of what I'm going to go through next .
Fun fact about me : once I start a romance book , i completely Iose my ability to breath, speak, eat , sleep, live like a normal human being until the 2 characters kiss 😂 ( fuck this seems ridiculous when I write it like that) and than I lose interest 🙂🙂🙂 sorry NOT SORRY BUT I LIVE FOR THIS MOMENT . enjoy the tension between them ???????? My fav thing to do . Ohhh deacon ( the love of my life 🫦🫦🫦🫦 ) and Julian were scorching hot mannnnn , it's illegal for fuck's sake.
My boys were hurt , actually so broken . Julian lost his childhood friend , his lover , his family and on the other hand deacon lost his only brother Rhett for ever ( fuck cancer).
The loss was harsh on everyone ( including me 😂 not funny at all it had me bawling my eyes out 🙂🙂🙂)
Then,everything became different... difficult. There was no hope , no love , no comfort. JUST PAINNNNN 🔪 🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪( I still feel that damn knife in my chest)
Their love was damn complicated and vehemently easy . The past , the trauma , the loss , the memories and the world made it complicated BUT deacon and Julian never stop to make it easy and POSSIBLE . I LOVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE how deacon was patient ughhhhhhh ( I'm crying 😭💔💔💔💔💔) he knew that Julian will never forget his first love and he was okay, but hurt , he felt guilty when was jealous of his brother, he never wanted to destroy what they had ( he's so unreal and fictional ) he was broken by his family , my heart ached for him , he deserve the world and he find that world in Julian. Ughhhhh don't get me started on Julian, his love for Rhett was real he refused to get past his death to move with his life to leave him behind until deacon...... this moments when he told deacon that if Rhett had a piece of his heart so he has it all .... or that he was his first 🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪 the sweetest pain in the world .
“He might’ve had a piece of my heart, Deacon, but you own it. It’s yours till the day you say you don’t want it.”
You see this ????? Carve it on my headstone when I die ... OK that's really dramatic 🤧
“You’re the beat of my heart, the blood in my veins, the strength in my bones. None of me works without you. And if you need
me to tell you every fucking day for the rest of our lives, then I will, because you are more than enough. You’re everything.”
Uuuui fhhhhg (sobbing in my pillow)
IF YOU NEED DEPRESSION, YOU HATE YOURSELF ENOUGH,YOUR MENTAL HEALTH IS AT THE BOTTOM OF " THINGS I CARE ABOUT " LIST THIS YOUR SIGN TO READ THIS BOOK .
Oh and that fucking letter , I want to kms after reading it 🥰
SEND ME A REASON TO LIVE 🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣
If I recommend this book to you then I fucking hate your guts . I hate you with every fibre in my being . I hate that you exist . I hate you that make me sick.
SO I want you to suffer .
WOMP WOMP , i don't have that person in my life so I will never recommend it 🥲 ( at least not yet)
This book took me almost 2 months to finish it .... 2 MONTHS !!!!!!!!!!
I ATE THE FIST HALF OF THE BOOK UP IN ONE NIGHT I COULD NOT PUT IT DOWN , my eyes were heavy with sleep I was tired my mind was like * it's late go to sleep gurrrrl the book won't run away *butttt I couldn't find it in me to just stop and sleep( SLEEP ???? WHO IS THIS?? ) and then I was scared of what I'm going to go through next .
Fun fact about me : once I start a romance book , i completely Iose my ability to breath, speak, eat , sleep, live like a normal human being until the 2 characters kiss 😂 ( fuck this seems ridiculous when I write it like that) and than I lose interest 🙂🙂🙂 sorry NOT SORRY BUT I LIVE FOR THIS MOMENT . enjoy the tension between them ???????? My fav thing to do . Ohhh deacon ( the love of my life 🫦🫦🫦🫦 ) and Julian were scorching hot mannnnn , it's illegal for fuck's sake.
My boys were hurt , actually so broken . Julian lost his childhood friend , his lover , his family and on the other hand deacon lost his only brother Rhett for ever ( fuck cancer).
The loss was harsh on everyone ( including me 😂 not funny at all it had me bawling my eyes out 🙂🙂🙂)
Then,everything became different... difficult. There was no hope , no love , no comfort. JUST PAINNNNN 🔪 🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪( I still feel that damn knife in my chest)
Their love was damn complicated and vehemently easy . The past , the trauma , the loss , the memories and the world made it complicated BUT deacon and Julian never stop to make it easy and POSSIBLE . I LOVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE how deacon was patient ughhhhhhh ( I'm crying 😭💔💔💔💔💔) he knew that Julian will never forget his first love and he was okay, but hurt , he felt guilty when was jealous of his brother, he never wanted to destroy what they had ( he's so unreal and fictional ) he was broken by his family , my heart ached for him , he deserve the world and he find that world in Julian. Ughhhhh don't get me started on Julian, his love for Rhett was real he refused to get past his death to move with his life to leave him behind until deacon...... this moments when he told deacon that if Rhett had a piece of his heart so he has it all .... or that he was his first 🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪 the sweetest pain in the world .
“He might’ve had a piece of my heart, Deacon, but you own it. It’s yours till the day you say you don’t want it.”
You see this ????? Carve it on my headstone when I die ... OK that's really dramatic 🤧
“You’re the beat of my heart, the blood in my veins, the strength in my bones. None of me works without you. And if you need
me to tell you every fucking day for the rest of our lives, then I will, because you are more than enough. You’re everything.”
Uuuui fhhhhg (sobbing in my pillow)
IF YOU NEED DEPRESSION, YOU HATE YOURSELF ENOUGH,YOUR MENTAL HEALTH IS AT THE BOTTOM OF " THINGS I CARE ABOUT " LIST THIS YOUR SIGN TO READ THIS BOOK .
Oh and that fucking letter , I want to kms after reading it 🥰
January 5, 2023
I did not know what I was expecting when I first picked up this book but I really enjoyed it. I hated the biased mother who would compare her first child with her second one and would constantly put down her first son. Both of the mcs compliment one another. Deacon losses his younger brother to cancer and Julian losses his best friend and boyfriend to the same person. Both of them were in a state of misery especially Julian. They mourn for the loss of Rhett and this blossoms into a connection that they have never felt before.
NOPE
It’s more than that. I just can’t put it into words. Anyways I did not give this a 5 stars because there were things I felt was missing like I was expecting a scene where Deacon shows Julian his job or Deacon coming home after a long day of being a mechanic. Stained greasy shirt in basked in his masculine glory or something like that. Lol. The ending was a bit lacking to say the least.
NOPE
It’s more than that. I just can’t put it into words. Anyways I did not give this a 5 stars because there were things I felt was missing like I was expecting a scene where Deacon shows Julian his job or Deacon coming home after a long day of being a mechanic. Stained greasy shirt in basked in his masculine glory or something like that. Lol. The ending was a bit lacking to say the least.
Read
October 28, 2020
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April 16, 2020
Was good, real. A little slow. Did get me a little pangs in the heart toward the end.
May 29, 2020
The first half was really good dealing with death, grief, forbidden romance kind of theme. But the second part was so damn irritatingly cheesy, annoying and boring. I mean why the heck does it to be like that? Damn. It got so freaking dramatic, overreacting and just... So damn disappointing.
June 4, 2021
Bloody Hell, I have never cried so much over a raw, emotional, and beautiful MM book. Ever. Words alone can not express how much I am grateful to read Deacon and Julian's story. This is the kind of book that touches your soul and heart and will stay with you for life. If I could give more than five stars, I would.
Deacon never felt like he belonged with his family, especially with his mother. Deacon's brother, best friend, and boyfriend have always fit in with Deacon's family, which has caused Resentment with Deacon���brought together by the grief of the loss of Deacon's brother. Feeling begin to develop, and lines start to blur.
Deacon is a broody straight alpha male who has never questioned his sexuality. I like how the author portrayed him, not freaking and lashing out that he is attracted to another male.
“I’m not attracted to men,” I say boldly. “I’m only attracted to you.”
“I’m the straight guy, whose dick got hard for a guy for the first time in my whole life, and now you want to chicken out on me?”
Julian is a sweet, smart, strong man who has always put others first. He lost both of his parents at a young, Deacons family is his chosen family. He is also so kind; you fall in love with him from the beginning.
Right now, I’m the guy with no past and no future. I’m the guy living in the moment. I’m the guy, that when tomorrow comes, I wish I could be.
“ Alone never felt so lonely until right now. Until I knew what it was like to have a man like Deacon to take care of me.”
The chemistry between the two is just amazing. Without you is a slow burn with fantastic world-building. It's flawless. This story ripped open my heart and put it back together again. I am not a crier, but dam did I cry like a baby, in the best possible way. Without you is a one-click book and a must-read.
Read
July 30, 2021I need to try this book again in ebook format. I could NOT focus on the audio (even with Teddy Hamilton!!), and I ended up DNFing at 70% without really even remembering much detail from the book. I was just not in the right headspace for audiobooks ATM. *shrugs*
August 20, 2020
4 Finding-love-after-grief & heartbreak Stars!! 💔 😍. This was such an emotional roller-coaster but I just couldn't put it down😢 Marley Valentine is a new author to me, but I had read a few rave reviews of this book which encouraged me to give this a try and I'm so glad that I did. 🤩
Deacon and Julian have never been friendly, despite Julian being almost a part of the Sutton (Deacon's) family; first as Rhett's (Deacon's younger brother) best friend and then as his boyfriend. But shared grief brings them together when Rhett loses his battle with cancer and Deacon comes home. Even a year after Rhett's passing, Julian has barely moved on. His life is on an autopilot; he has the same job, apartment and absolutely no friends or social life😢. As for Deacon, having grown up in the shadow of his upbeat younger brother, he had always felt like an outcast and for that he has sometimes unfairly blamed Julian. However, now seeing a heart-broken and grieving Julian, something triggers in Deacon to console him and offer his friendship. At first suspicious, but later a grateful Julian accepts Deacon's hand in friendship and they slowly start to bond, never quite understanding their growing attraction for each other😍. Deacon has always been straight but for some reason he feels both protective and possessive about Julian. Julian too starts to see Deacon with new eyes, but his guilt about moving on from Rhett makes him hesitate. They know they have something between them, but will they fight for it? Will Julian have the courage to move away from everything he has known all his life and make a fresh start? Will Deacon be able to stand up for what he wants? Will Deacon trust Julian with his heart? And will Julian reciprocate?
This is a slow and emotional journey into both Julian and Deacon's life in the aftermath of Rhett's demise. 💔 Julian's life is shattered and Deacon shows up as a beacon of light and hope for him. It takes time and lots of communication before they can power through the grief and guilt to build something of their own💕. Julian is hesitant and Deacon is broody but slowly they learn to trust one another and love one another ❤️ The HEA felt a little rushed and the family issue seemed unresolved, but overall the love story was heart-rending as well as therapeutic. 💖. Highly recommended to all fans of angsty M/M romances 👍 👍 (P.S. Have a box of tissues handy, it's a tearjerker 😭)
Deacon and Julian have never been friendly, despite Julian being almost a part of the Sutton (Deacon's) family; first as Rhett's (Deacon's younger brother) best friend and then as his boyfriend. But shared grief brings them together when Rhett loses his battle with cancer and Deacon comes home. Even a year after Rhett's passing, Julian has barely moved on. His life is on an autopilot; he has the same job, apartment and absolutely no friends or social life😢. As for Deacon, having grown up in the shadow of his upbeat younger brother, he had always felt like an outcast and for that he has sometimes unfairly blamed Julian. However, now seeing a heart-broken and grieving Julian, something triggers in Deacon to console him and offer his friendship. At first suspicious, but later a grateful Julian accepts Deacon's hand in friendship and they slowly start to bond, never quite understanding their growing attraction for each other😍. Deacon has always been straight but for some reason he feels both protective and possessive about Julian. Julian too starts to see Deacon with new eyes, but his guilt about moving on from Rhett makes him hesitate. They know they have something between them, but will they fight for it? Will Julian have the courage to move away from everything he has known all his life and make a fresh start? Will Deacon be able to stand up for what he wants? Will Deacon trust Julian with his heart? And will Julian reciprocate?
This is a slow and emotional journey into both Julian and Deacon's life in the aftermath of Rhett's demise. 💔 Julian's life is shattered and Deacon shows up as a beacon of light and hope for him. It takes time and lots of communication before they can power through the grief and guilt to build something of their own💕. Julian is hesitant and Deacon is broody but slowly they learn to trust one another and love one another ❤️ The HEA felt a little rushed and the family issue seemed unresolved, but overall the love story was heart-rending as well as therapeutic. 💖. Highly recommended to all fans of angsty M/M romances 👍 👍 (P.S. Have a box of tissues handy, it's a tearjerker 😭)
June 4, 2023
I honestly don't know where to start except for a fact that this was such a beautifully intimate book,
i loved the way it was written from the story to the characters it felt raw and honest, they felt real i feel like i could just reach out and comfort them.
these lovely characters Julian and Deacon Although brought together by an inconvenient their love doesn't feel like it was caused by their connection through grief, it just moves naturally from the way they move and speak to and of each other it just felt familiar.
it's been a while since I've cried this much on a book 😭😭😭
that one year prologue scene where Julian was so vulnerable and deacon offers him his help to take off his clothes just breaks me and also that scene with his mother hurt me more than i expected.
thank you iman for recommending this book to me
i loved the way it was written from the story to the characters it felt raw and honest, they felt real i feel like i could just reach out and comfort them.
these lovely characters Julian and Deacon Although brought together by an inconvenient their love doesn't feel like it was caused by their connection through grief, it just moves naturally from the way they move and speak to and of each other it just felt familiar.
it's been a while since I've cried this much on a book 😭😭😭
that one year prologue scene where Julian was so vulnerable and deacon offers him his help to take off his clothes just breaks me and also that scene with his mother hurt me more than i expected.
thank you iman for recommending this book to me
Read
August 2, 2024There’s the dead ex trope. And there’s the dead ex+the dead ex’s straight brother trope. The latter is too much for me.
I admit, I went into it mostly blind, not reading the reviews for once and just looking at the overall rating of 4.26 stars and being happy that I know and like the narrators (Teddy Hamilton and Tim Paige).
Turns out, I should have read the reviews first, especially the ones by trusted goodreads besties who usually have the same taste in books as I do.
I didn’t connect to the characters. Like… at all. It’s the story of Deacon, whose brother died of leukaemia, and his brother’s boyfriend Julian. Both are devastated by the loss, but on top of all things, Deacon has to deal with his mother (honestly: worst mother ever 🙄) who only ever had eyes (and love) for the son who died.
The blossoming “enemies to lovers” (although they’re not really enemies tbh) felt… wrong. They’re both so caught up in guilt and grief, it didn’t feel like a good idea to build a relationship on shared grief. They’re obviously both not over their loss, and seeing them grow attracted to each other left me with an uneasy feeling in my stomach.
I mean - I’ve read other books where both characters loved the same person that died. But it never felt so… wrong (I can’t come up with a better word, sorry…)
I dnf-ed at around 28% (they’ve not given in to said attraction yet, thankfully). No rating therefore, maybe it’s me, not the book. A shame, because the writing isn’t bad at all.
Although - reading in other reviews that they didn’t read the letters their brother/ex left them makes me even more happy to dnf. Why bring them into the story? It feels disrespectful to the one they’ve both lost. Imagine a person who knowsthey're about to die, who writes letters to the people they love most, and the recipients… don’t open the letters. They don’t want to know what the person they claim to love has to say to them.
Uh. No. Not a book for me.
I admit, I went into it mostly blind, not reading the reviews for once and just looking at the overall rating of 4.26 stars and being happy that I know and like the narrators (Teddy Hamilton and Tim Paige).
Turns out, I should have read the reviews first, especially the ones by trusted goodreads besties who usually have the same taste in books as I do.
I didn’t connect to the characters. Like… at all. It’s the story of Deacon, whose brother died of leukaemia, and his brother’s boyfriend Julian. Both are devastated by the loss, but on top of all things, Deacon has to deal with his mother (honestly: worst mother ever 🙄) who only ever had eyes (and love) for the son who died.
The blossoming “enemies to lovers” (although they’re not really enemies tbh) felt… wrong. They’re both so caught up in guilt and grief, it didn’t feel like a good idea to build a relationship on shared grief. They’re obviously both not over their loss, and seeing them grow attracted to each other left me with an uneasy feeling in my stomach.
I mean - I’ve read other books where both characters loved the same person that died. But it never felt so… wrong (I can’t come up with a better word, sorry…)
I dnf-ed at around 28% (they’ve not given in to said attraction yet, thankfully). No rating therefore, maybe it’s me, not the book. A shame, because the writing isn’t bad at all.
Although - reading in other reviews that they didn’t read the letters their brother/ex left them makes me even more happy to dnf. Why bring them into the story? It feels disrespectful to the one they’ve both lost. Imagine a person who knowsthey're about to die, who writes letters to the people they love most, and the recipients… don’t open the letters. They don’t want to know what the person they claim to love has to say to them.
Uh. No. Not a book for me.
September 13, 2020
4.5 stars!!!!
Excuse me while I gush over this book/audiobook I have just finished....
*Takes a deep breathe*
****Highly Recommended Heartstrings****
Audiobook narrated by Teddy Hamilton and Tim Paige
Why read/listen to this book...
1. The Characters...
Deacon, a mechanic, is slightly estranged from his family after his younger brother Rhett dies of cancer. His mom especially hasn't been there for him and he feels left out. #INeedToBeLoved
Julian, Rhett's best friend and boyfriend, is struggling to move on after Rhett's death. The world is passing him by, while he stays in place. #ExistingIsNotLiving
2. The Relationship....
Deacon and Julian have never been friends. Deacon even feels jealous because his parents treat Julian like they should be treating him. Then one moment in time changes everything. It takes months for them to see each other again, but when they do, they feel the shift and let it guide them. #MyEyesAreFinallyOpen
3. The Romance...
These two men, who are both extremely lovable btw, go with the flow. There is guilt and sadness and hesitation because of who Rhett is for both of them. But what was refreshing about their romance is that they actually TALK. They work through their feelings. There is no big misunderstanding and an even bigger fight and/or breakup. They work and talk and move on and they are swoony AF.... *see glove incident* #EndlessFeels
4. The Heat...
Let me just say, that Deacon embraces his attraction to Julian and lets his instincts guide him. These men are hot together, romantic and sweet and sexy all at the same time. #SexyIsMyMiddleName
5. The HEA...
Let's just say, these guys are in it for the long haul and still Swoony years later. #ForeverAndEver
6. The Audiobook...
I am already a huge fan of Mr. Teddy Hamilton. His tone is one that just works with every character. It was my first Tim Paige experience though and I was pleasantly surprised....even more so when I saw his profile pic... Ahem. Moving on. His take on Julian, the inflections in his voice and the emotions he portrayed so well were a joy to listen to. #EargasmicNarration
7. The Cover...
I mean, have you seen the cover? #InsertDroolEmojiHere
Excuse me while I gush over this book/audiobook I have just finished....
*Takes a deep breathe*
****Highly Recommended Heartstrings****
Audiobook narrated by Teddy Hamilton and Tim Paige
Why read/listen to this book...
1. The Characters...
Deacon, a mechanic, is slightly estranged from his family after his younger brother Rhett dies of cancer. His mom especially hasn't been there for him and he feels left out. #INeedToBeLoved
Julian, Rhett's best friend and boyfriend, is struggling to move on after Rhett's death. The world is passing him by, while he stays in place. #ExistingIsNotLiving
2. The Relationship....
Deacon and Julian have never been friends. Deacon even feels jealous because his parents treat Julian like they should be treating him. Then one moment in time changes everything. It takes months for them to see each other again, but when they do, they feel the shift and let it guide them. #MyEyesAreFinallyOpen
3. The Romance...
These two men, who are both extremely lovable btw, go with the flow. There is guilt and sadness and hesitation because of who Rhett is for both of them. But what was refreshing about their romance is that they actually TALK. They work through their feelings. There is no big misunderstanding and an even bigger fight and/or breakup. They work and talk and move on and they are swoony AF.... *see glove incident* #EndlessFeels
4. The Heat...
Let me just say, that Deacon embraces his attraction to Julian and lets his instincts guide him. These men are hot together, romantic and sweet and sexy all at the same time. #SexyIsMyMiddleName
5. The HEA...
Let's just say, these guys are in it for the long haul and still Swoony years later. #ForeverAndEver
6. The Audiobook...
I am already a huge fan of Mr. Teddy Hamilton. His tone is one that just works with every character. It was my first Tim Paige experience though and I was pleasantly surprised....even more so when I saw his profile pic... Ahem. Moving on. His take on Julian, the inflections in his voice and the emotions he portrayed so well were a joy to listen to. #EargasmicNarration
7. The Cover...
I mean, have you seen the cover? #InsertDroolEmojiHere
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