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Intimacy Idiot
This big-hearted, laugh-until-you-can’t-breathe collection of personal essays, stories, and riffs on finding love and intimacy in New York City announces the arrival of a “a monstrous new talent” (New York magazine) in the vein of David Sedaris, Augusten Burroughs, and Tina Fey.
In this uproariously funny debut collection, award-winning writer and performer Isaac Oliver serves up a comedic cornucopia of sketches, vignettes, lists, and diaries from his life as a young, fanciful, and extremely single gay man in New York City. Whether he’s hooking up with a man who dresses as a dolphin, suffering on airplanes and buses next to people with Food From Home, or hovering around an impenetrable circle of attractive people at a cocktail party, Oliver captures the messy, moving, and absurd moments of urban life as we live it today.
Since moving to New York a decade ago, Oliver has pined for countless strangers on the subway, slept with half the people in his Washington Heights neighborhood, and observed the best and worst of humanity from behind the glass of a Times Square theater box office. He also rode the subway during Breastfeeding Awareness Week and lived to tell the tale. Culled from years of heartbreak, hook-ups, and more awkwardness than a virgin at prom and a whore in church (and he should know because he’s been both), Intimacy Idiot chronicles Oliver’s encounters with love, infatuation, resilience, and self-acceptance that echo our universal desire for intimacy of all kinds.
In this uproariously funny debut collection, award-winning writer and performer Isaac Oliver serves up a comedic cornucopia of sketches, vignettes, lists, and diaries from his life as a young, fanciful, and extremely single gay man in New York City. Whether he’s hooking up with a man who dresses as a dolphin, suffering on airplanes and buses next to people with Food From Home, or hovering around an impenetrable circle of attractive people at a cocktail party, Oliver captures the messy, moving, and absurd moments of urban life as we live it today.
Since moving to New York a decade ago, Oliver has pined for countless strangers on the subway, slept with half the people in his Washington Heights neighborhood, and observed the best and worst of humanity from behind the glass of a Times Square theater box office. He also rode the subway during Breastfeeding Awareness Week and lived to tell the tale. Culled from years of heartbreak, hook-ups, and more awkwardness than a virgin at prom and a whore in church (and he should know because he’s been both), Intimacy Idiot chronicles Oliver’s encounters with love, infatuation, resilience, and self-acceptance that echo our universal desire for intimacy of all kinds.
288 pages, Hardcover
First published June 2, 2015
About the author
Isaac Oliver
3 books51 followersIsaac Oliver is an award-winning playwright, author, and performer who hails from Baltimore, Maryland, and currently lives in New York City.
His debut collection of essays, Intimacy Idiot, is forthcoming from Scribner in June. His plays include Electra in a One-Piece, Eddie Goshen is Dead, and the ten-minute plays “3, 2, 1,” “Film Forum,” and “Come Here” (New York Innovative Theatre Award, Outstanding Original Short Script).
He is a graduate of Carver Center for Arts and Technology and Fordham College at Lincoln Center and a MacDowell Colony Fellow.
His debut collection of essays, Intimacy Idiot, is forthcoming from Scribner in June. His plays include Electra in a One-Piece, Eddie Goshen is Dead, and the ten-minute plays “3, 2, 1,” “Film Forum,” and “Come Here” (New York Innovative Theatre Award, Outstanding Original Short Script).
He is a graduate of Carver Center for Arts and Technology and Fordham College at Lincoln Center and a MacDowell Colony Fellow.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 155 reviews
May 18, 2019
“You wish for love without any risk. Which is gutless.”
I have such mixed feelings about “Intimacy Idiot”. The book has moments of cleverness and humor, and occasionally depth. However, it is also unnecessarily vulgar and sometimes disturbingly disgusting; and seems to promote a way of living that is empty of meaning.
Isaac Oliver, who calls the work “creative nonfiction”, which to me means, “I made most of it up” wrote this nonfiction collection of essays, poems, etc. The book feels made up to me. Especially the ridiculous “Subway Diaries” chapters that pop up throughout the text. As for my quibbles with the book’s promotion of a promiscuous and empty life, I think Oliver wants his cake and to eat it too. He gives too much information about his vapid sexualized life, and then occasionally hints that he wants more. Well sir, you can’t write a book that mostly presents this way of living in a positive light and then throw in a subtle reference to wanting something different and expect that to be the message received. I guess my biggest issue with this text is that I worry that young gay men would read this and think that it exemplifies what it means to be gay. It certainly does not, except in the worst stereotypical manner.
So, some positives…I enjoyed some essays in this piece quite a bit:
“The Lonely Christmas Poem,” is one of the book’s better moments. There is depth mixed in with the snark that is the voice of this poem. And it works well.
“Where is your Shakespeare” is a lovely 1 page piece that says a lot, in a nice subtle manner.
“A Few Key Erotic Moments from My Early Adolescence” features some cringe worthy (mainly because they ring true) moments. And some astute observations about how we sometimes first approach the idea of wanting someone.
So there you have it. I kind of enjoyed this book, at moments. It is a quick and easy read.
However the things that it ultimately seems to celebrate, not implicitly but by the amount of focus they get, I just cannot get behind and thus would not recommend.
I have such mixed feelings about “Intimacy Idiot”. The book has moments of cleverness and humor, and occasionally depth. However, it is also unnecessarily vulgar and sometimes disturbingly disgusting; and seems to promote a way of living that is empty of meaning.
Isaac Oliver, who calls the work “creative nonfiction”, which to me means, “I made most of it up” wrote this nonfiction collection of essays, poems, etc. The book feels made up to me. Especially the ridiculous “Subway Diaries” chapters that pop up throughout the text. As for my quibbles with the book’s promotion of a promiscuous and empty life, I think Oliver wants his cake and to eat it too. He gives too much information about his vapid sexualized life, and then occasionally hints that he wants more. Well sir, you can’t write a book that mostly presents this way of living in a positive light and then throw in a subtle reference to wanting something different and expect that to be the message received. I guess my biggest issue with this text is that I worry that young gay men would read this and think that it exemplifies what it means to be gay. It certainly does not, except in the worst stereotypical manner.
So, some positives…I enjoyed some essays in this piece quite a bit:
“The Lonely Christmas Poem,” is one of the book’s better moments. There is depth mixed in with the snark that is the voice of this poem. And it works well.
“Where is your Shakespeare” is a lovely 1 page piece that says a lot, in a nice subtle manner.
“A Few Key Erotic Moments from My Early Adolescence” features some cringe worthy (mainly because they ring true) moments. And some astute observations about how we sometimes first approach the idea of wanting someone.
So there you have it. I kind of enjoyed this book, at moments. It is a quick and easy read.
However the things that it ultimately seems to celebrate, not implicitly but by the amount of focus they get, I just cannot get behind and thus would not recommend.
April 25, 2015
The star rating for “Intimacy Idiot” is probably a bit misleading here, as I rated based on the average of all of the pieces. When it is good, it is very, very good. I was laughing so hard it hurts at some points. The problem is, when it is not good it falls completely flat. The writing is on point in all of them, but sometimes I simply felt disinterested.
Isaac Oliver seems like someone I would love to hang out with. He’s funny, intelligent, talented, and self-deprecating without coming across as though he wears a hair shirt and flogs himself every night before bed. Twice on Sundays. The stories manage to both give a peek into the world of gay dating, which is an unknown territory for some of us, while being relatable on so many levels to every single person reading it. The ratio of familiar to foreign is absolutely perfect.
As I said above, it unfortunately fell flat in many chapters, but I would much rather focus on the enjoyable parts, of which there were many. The book is at its heart a work of comedy, but it also evokes quite a sense of loneliness and longing. It changes tone swiftly and seamlessly, always keeping the reader on their toes. There is a natural talent for storytelling that shows in the writing, and I am anticipating reading more of Oliver’s works in the future.
I recommend “Intimacy Idiot” to anyone looking for a laugh and a well-written memoir. The chapters range in format from stories to lists to poetry, so what fell flat for me may strike a chord with someone else. The enjoyable parts make it well worth reading, no matter the issues you may have with other chapters. If you in any way do not enjoy reading about casual sex, though, I would give the book a wide berth.
This review is based upon a complimentary copy provided by the publisher in exchange for an honest review.
Isaac Oliver seems like someone I would love to hang out with. He’s funny, intelligent, talented, and self-deprecating without coming across as though he wears a hair shirt and flogs himself every night before bed. Twice on Sundays. The stories manage to both give a peek into the world of gay dating, which is an unknown territory for some of us, while being relatable on so many levels to every single person reading it. The ratio of familiar to foreign is absolutely perfect.
As I said above, it unfortunately fell flat in many chapters, but I would much rather focus on the enjoyable parts, of which there were many. The book is at its heart a work of comedy, but it also evokes quite a sense of loneliness and longing. It changes tone swiftly and seamlessly, always keeping the reader on their toes. There is a natural talent for storytelling that shows in the writing, and I am anticipating reading more of Oliver’s works in the future.
I recommend “Intimacy Idiot” to anyone looking for a laugh and a well-written memoir. The chapters range in format from stories to lists to poetry, so what fell flat for me may strike a chord with someone else. The enjoyable parts make it well worth reading, no matter the issues you may have with other chapters. If you in any way do not enjoy reading about casual sex, though, I would give the book a wide berth.
This review is based upon a complimentary copy provided by the publisher in exchange for an honest review.
July 9, 2015
This deserves a written blurb, at the very least. Is there anything better than the perfect book at the perfect time? 1) I really needed a great laugh and 2) After living in NYC for almost 8 years, I know I'm at a place where I just have that itch to try something new. But this book made me fall in love with the city all over again in a way I hadn't experienced for myself in a while because it just rang really true. I used to have this theater teacher who in a way insisted that the way to great acting is fearlessness. I think it applies to writing in a way, too. It's essays - it's not the novel form, but that doesn't discount the fact that I haven't laughed out loud this much in who knows how long and it brought me back to this great time when I was in college and I would call my best-friend and read her passages from Me Talk Pretty One Day over the phone during summers away and we'd laugh our asses off. It has entire chapters you want to read out loud to your friends because if you're a gay man living in this city, you'll relate to SOMETHING in here. It's hilarious as all get-out, but the deep pathos in this book is what made me recognize it was more than just a book written by a comedian - it's just a really great book.
October 16, 2015
3.5 Stars
Intimacy Idiot is a book about a gay man navigating life and love in NYC. It kind of reminds me of an Andy Cohen book. This was pretty funny and entertaining. I did think, after seeing the title, that this book would be more about intimacy as a whole, but this is more one persons take on love in the city. So if you're into that sort of thing then this is the perfect read for you!
*ARC graciously provided in exchange for an honest review*
Intimacy Idiot is a book about a gay man navigating life and love in NYC. It kind of reminds me of an Andy Cohen book. This was pretty funny and entertaining. I did think, after seeing the title, that this book would be more about intimacy as a whole, but this is more one persons take on love in the city. So if you're into that sort of thing then this is the perfect read for you!
*ARC graciously provided in exchange for an honest review*
January 14, 2021
4.5 I loved this.
Definitely MA but incredibly funny and honest, I listened to this on audiobook which I HIGHLY recommend. I was actually upset when I realized I'd finished it, yes it was that good.
RTC.
*Goes on Amazon and orders book instead of buying off BO because I really want to support Isaac*
Definitely MA but incredibly funny and honest, I listened to this on audiobook which I HIGHLY recommend. I was actually upset when I realized I'd finished it, yes it was that good.
RTC.
*Goes on Amazon and orders book instead of buying off BO because I really want to support Isaac*
July 5, 2015
Isaac Oliver’s book is a very candid and revealing look at his life as a gay man in New York City - not something I would normally read, but I’m glad I did. There are some very funny essays and a lot of wit and insight.
Thank you to Scribner and NetGalley for an advance copy of this book.
Thank you to Scribner and NetGalley for an advance copy of this book.
December 5, 2015
3.5 stars.
Entertaining, laugh out loud moments throughout, especially the writer's sexual escapades.
Refreshing to read amongst so many profound novels this year.
Entertaining, laugh out loud moments throughout, especially the writer's sexual escapades.
Refreshing to read amongst so many profound novels this year.
March 8, 2016
Intimacy Idiot by Isaac Oliver (2015)
If you are tired of waiting for the in-your-face, honest and relatable humor of a witty, male author, your wait is over. NPR has compared Isaac Oliver to David Sedaris, and I second that emotion.
This selection is comprised of a variety of modes of prose: traditional paragraphs, free-verse poetry, vignettes, and all sorts of accounts of observations, unbelievably true dialogue, and more. It’s a “quick and dirty” read for those who have commitment issues (with books and other things/beings), or for the reader who wishes to escape for a minute or two.
Oliver is a 30-something living in New York, whose parents were indifferent about his being gay. With his heart on his sleeve, Oliver leads us on a journey into life as a New Yorker, unlucky in love, but soldiering through the only ways he knows how.
The topics discussed in this book, straight from the exciting life of a young gay man, are oftentimes shocking to the system, as far as depth of description, bluntness of explanation, and the author’s willingness to put everything on the line, exposing his wounds, celebrations, desires, and accomplishments.
Side note: If you have, or will read, Downs’ The Velvet Rage (2005), this could be a good case study!
If you are tired of waiting for the in-your-face, honest and relatable humor of a witty, male author, your wait is over. NPR has compared Isaac Oliver to David Sedaris, and I second that emotion.
This selection is comprised of a variety of modes of prose: traditional paragraphs, free-verse poetry, vignettes, and all sorts of accounts of observations, unbelievably true dialogue, and more. It’s a “quick and dirty” read for those who have commitment issues (with books and other things/beings), or for the reader who wishes to escape for a minute or two.
Oliver is a 30-something living in New York, whose parents were indifferent about his being gay. With his heart on his sleeve, Oliver leads us on a journey into life as a New Yorker, unlucky in love, but soldiering through the only ways he knows how.
The topics discussed in this book, straight from the exciting life of a young gay man, are oftentimes shocking to the system, as far as depth of description, bluntness of explanation, and the author’s willingness to put everything on the line, exposing his wounds, celebrations, desires, and accomplishments.
Side note: If you have, or will read, Downs’ The Velvet Rage (2005), this could be a good case study!
May 6, 2021
The funniest book I’ve read in years. I laughed so hard, I snorted. Hilarious. Ridiculous. Fun. Listen to it!!!! Isaac telling his own stories makes it better!
October 23, 2018
Loved it - was frequently laughing aloud, and could barely hold it together when I flew the day after finishing it next to someone who had brought food from home.
June 20, 2020
Такий відвертий ніяковий досвід, як Бріджіт Джонс тільки white gay man в пошуках щастя (хмм). Були ну дуже смішні моменти, впереміш з такими собі, різні замальовки розмов з Нью Йоркського метро і всі ці рецепти з інгредієнтами типу "4 сири, 4 непрочитаних повідомлення на грайндері, 2 літри сліз" і тд, і всі ці фігові спроби почати щось справжнє з апріорі анонімно-провальних стосунків.
August 15, 2016
I took the day off for my birthday but woke up at my typical 5am hour. I stayed in bed all morning reading this fiery little gem and couldn't have picked a better pastime!
I went to see a comedy show featuring Ilana Glazer on a date a few months ago, and one of the opening acts was Isaac Oliver. As I listened to him read a chapter from his book, Ilana sidled to the front of the crowd and standing right next to me, at a diminutive 5'3" I peered over her shoulder to see that she was texting Bitmojis with Abbi Jacobson herself. Despite the fact that I was swooning over pretty much having become best friends with both of them in my head, I remembered thinking that this guy was pretty funny.
And the book is even better! It's tawdry and unapologetically gay but really sharp, witty, and well-told. Bravo, Isaac Oliver! Let's be friends, or at least ride the subway together.
I went to see a comedy show featuring Ilana Glazer on a date a few months ago, and one of the opening acts was Isaac Oliver. As I listened to him read a chapter from his book, Ilana sidled to the front of the crowd and standing right next to me, at a diminutive 5'3" I peered over her shoulder to see that she was texting Bitmojis with Abbi Jacobson herself. Despite the fact that I was swooning over pretty much having become best friends with both of them in my head, I remembered thinking that this guy was pretty funny.
And the book is even better! It's tawdry and unapologetically gay but really sharp, witty, and well-told. Bravo, Isaac Oliver! Let's be friends, or at least ride the subway together.
August 15, 2016
Actually incredible. 1) I full-on screamed with laughter for most of the book, especially in the chapter with childhood photos. 2) I thought the entire would continue with its funny (if superficial), slightly demoralizing tone, but to my surprise there were moments of seriousness. These moments were made exceedingly more powerful by the contrast of Oliver's biting humor, and gave the book a sense of purpose and completeness.
Even if there were chapters that weren't spectacularly funny, as a project and an experience I would call this book an absolute success. It's obviously directed towards gay men, but I'd recommend it to anyone searching for a graphic, honest, searingly hilarious voice.
Even if there were chapters that weren't spectacularly funny, as a project and an experience I would call this book an absolute success. It's obviously directed towards gay men, but I'd recommend it to anyone searching for a graphic, honest, searingly hilarious voice.
October 1, 2016
This book was honest, relatable and funny. I especially like his Subway Diaries series, and some of him poems I could have written myself. The writing itself felt disjointed in parts, and some of the punchlines fell flat, but I found the book to a great read nonetheless, an intimate look at one gay mans life, and his struggle to find love and make it in a city where it's easy to disappear. If you enjoyed I'm Not Myself These Days by Kilmer-Purcell, you will probably like this.
March 20, 2015
Oliver is great at making fun of his own neurosis, and I especially enjoyed the occasional overheard bits of information. This was a little outside of my wheelhouse, but I still laughed occasionally. Not the best thing I've ever read, but I can think of worse ways to kill a couple of hours. Certainly appropriate for fans of David and Amy Sedaris and other high strung comedians.
December 30, 2015
Funny, in the vein of David Sedaris, but let's face it, it is hard to be as funny as Sedaris. A little TMI on the sex details. "Cock goblin" is pretty hilarious though.
My favorite part however was the part on substitutions for the "it's not you it's me line." My fave: "We are starting a new religion and you are the devil."
My favorite part however was the part on substitutions for the "it's not you it's me line." My fave: "We are starting a new religion and you are the devil."
November 17, 2015
Hilarious, relatable, and sometimes deep. The stories contained in this collection by Isaac Oliver are all of the above. The author makes the reader feel like we're there experiencing these events with him. Excellent writing! I can't wait to read more from this author.
January 3, 2023
Short read that I listened to while walking around DC during my first few days in the city. A collection of comedic experiences and essays from the author's life as a gay man in New York. Nothing groundbreaking but a funny listen that definitely made me laugh. I will say by the end the self-deprecating humor and endless cycle of unfortunate events became kind of depressing but I think it fulfills its goal to be a humorous and comedic collection of stories. Would only recommend if you live in New York, are queer, or are interested in either of those experiences.
September 4, 2018
4.5 stars
A collection of laugh-out-loud essays, stories, and riffs on finding love, intimacy and riding the subway in New York City. Issac Oliver captures the messy, moving, and absurd moments of urban life and is by far one of the wittiest writers around.
His observations are nothing less that scorching and the pages seem to have come alive; no small feat for a debut novel.
Can't wait until his next.
A collection of laugh-out-loud essays, stories, and riffs on finding love, intimacy and riding the subway in New York City. Issac Oliver captures the messy, moving, and absurd moments of urban life and is by far one of the wittiest writers around.
His observations are nothing less that scorching and the pages seem to have come alive; no small feat for a debut novel.
Can't wait until his next.
April 3, 2019
This was a dishy delight that /must/ be consumed in an audio format. A collection of essays you should probably have ready at hand for whenever you are feeling low - it is basically medicine (in a good way.)
October 4, 2022
I just saw BROS in the theater … similar energy except this NYC white gay does not find love.
November 12, 2022
Oliver may be an intimacy idiot but he sure can spin some amusing stories.
December 12, 2021
Read it in 2016, again in 2021. Not sure why but I realized on second pass through that this guy represents the worst of New York City, and NYC represents almost all that's wrong with America.
There are parts of this book that are so insightful, so profound, that you think it might start living up to its clever title. The problem is there are very few of those pages. For the most part this is a lonely know-it-all New York City gay guy that thinks we all want to hear him go on and on about the guys he slept with or the rude people he deals with at the theater box office. He seems to be bragging, as if he should be proud that so many lonely NYC guys want a free blowjob from him or that he's willing to let them top him. It's actually pretty sad.
The main problem is his writing style. He writes very short stories that typically don't give enough detail and rarely provide a solid ending. These are just ideas of stories, not complete thoughts. And any of the things he writes about have nothing to do with him--at least one-third of the book are his observations of people on the subway. Boring! He works hard to try to twist a phrase or make a pun, yet bottom line this book is about a very out slutty guy who criticizes everyone and is just never satisfied with any man he sleeps with.
There are about three spots in the book where his raw inner insights come out. He comes to the realization that he doesn't treat lovers like people but like porn stars that he masturbates to. "You can't hit pause or rewind or fast-forward. You can't put in a different tape." He would mistake friendship for romance, and once he told them he loved them his feelings toward them evaporated. "What if it's the wanting you want and not the having?" It makes us pause to think about the damage of being addicted to on-screen intimacy while unable to connect with humans we come in contact with.
This is a man who is seriously screwed up regarding intimacy. If only the rest of the book matched such passages. Mostly it's him telling hard-to-believe stories of people-watching on the subway or what men he slept with unbelievably said to him. There are hundreds of conversations in quotes, for which he never took a note. This, he proudly writes, is "creative non-fiction." Okay--that means he has embellished reality and that we have no idea which parts are true. He is just creating conversations based on memory, which means there is very little truth here.
How much of this can we believe? We'll never know. Much of it sounds made up to make others look bad and have us feel sorry for him. It certainly makes one never want to hang around New York City or people like the author! In the end this is his cry for help and it goes unanswered. He remains lonely and, when it comes to intimacy, an idiot.
There are parts of this book that are so insightful, so profound, that you think it might start living up to its clever title. The problem is there are very few of those pages. For the most part this is a lonely know-it-all New York City gay guy that thinks we all want to hear him go on and on about the guys he slept with or the rude people he deals with at the theater box office. He seems to be bragging, as if he should be proud that so many lonely NYC guys want a free blowjob from him or that he's willing to let them top him. It's actually pretty sad.
The main problem is his writing style. He writes very short stories that typically don't give enough detail and rarely provide a solid ending. These are just ideas of stories, not complete thoughts. And any of the things he writes about have nothing to do with him--at least one-third of the book are his observations of people on the subway. Boring! He works hard to try to twist a phrase or make a pun, yet bottom line this book is about a very out slutty guy who criticizes everyone and is just never satisfied with any man he sleeps with.
There are about three spots in the book where his raw inner insights come out. He comes to the realization that he doesn't treat lovers like people but like porn stars that he masturbates to. "You can't hit pause or rewind or fast-forward. You can't put in a different tape." He would mistake friendship for romance, and once he told them he loved them his feelings toward them evaporated. "What if it's the wanting you want and not the having?" It makes us pause to think about the damage of being addicted to on-screen intimacy while unable to connect with humans we come in contact with.
This is a man who is seriously screwed up regarding intimacy. If only the rest of the book matched such passages. Mostly it's him telling hard-to-believe stories of people-watching on the subway or what men he slept with unbelievably said to him. There are hundreds of conversations in quotes, for which he never took a note. This, he proudly writes, is "creative non-fiction." Okay--that means he has embellished reality and that we have no idea which parts are true. He is just creating conversations based on memory, which means there is very little truth here.
How much of this can we believe? We'll never know. Much of it sounds made up to make others look bad and have us feel sorry for him. It certainly makes one never want to hang around New York City or people like the author! In the end this is his cry for help and it goes unanswered. He remains lonely and, when it comes to intimacy, an idiot.
January 19, 2015
Isaac Oliver is my spirit animal. If it wasn't super weird and creepy, I'd love to follow him to all his bizarre NYC hookups, just to meet all the crazy people he's slept with. There's something infinitely relatable about being gay, slutty, and tragic in the Big Apple. Probably because as a fellow queer, I've often had the incredibly original fantasy (I know, it's a cliche, I know) that I should move to New York, become a way more interesting and cultured version of myself, and sleep with lots of people. Instead, I moved to one of the most conservative suburbs of America and settled down with a mortgage and a long-term relationship with a career in creative field with lots of job security that I commute to in a dependable Japanese compact car (this is also a gay cliche of a different sort... see how shockingly original I am?).
Anyways, my own issues with my inevitable adherence to stereotypes aside, Oliver's collection of essays, poems, and sordid kiss-and-tell accountings are totally freaking hilarious. I wanted to read them out loud multiple times, but I refrained, since I don't think it's appropriate to read first-person accounts of having a dude blow a load on your face to your coworkers. Not only funny, though, Oliver's memoirs are really poignant. His struggles with his own hypocrisies and inadequacies, lost in the irrelevant nothings of "finding yourself" in your 20s and 30s, were both honest and absurd.
Anyways, my own issues with my inevitable adherence to stereotypes aside, Oliver's collection of essays, poems, and sordid kiss-and-tell accountings are totally freaking hilarious. I wanted to read them out loud multiple times, but I refrained, since I don't think it's appropriate to read first-person accounts of having a dude blow a load on your face to your coworkers. Not only funny, though, Oliver's memoirs are really poignant. His struggles with his own hypocrisies and inadequacies, lost in the irrelevant nothings of "finding yourself" in your 20s and 30s, were both honest and absurd.
May 2, 2016
An agent in L.A. tells Oliver that his work is "a little gay-heavy, but it's still funny." That summarizes my reaction, and anyone human can relate to much of this book. Oliver has also fixed in my consciousness the concept of "creative non-fiction." All this stuff apparently really happened, and the stories, while brief, are indeed creative, and yes, from droll to very, very funny.
I'm not convinced the book has an accurate title, though. On finishing it, I was left with a sense of an almost total lack of intimacy, and, I think, very little effort to try to achieve it. Maybe a sequel will show some commitment to actually seeking a deeper connection with the minds and hearts of people, rather than just body parts.
All that being said, this was a fun read, even for someone not at all of most of Oliver's world. The part which is definitely me is the New York-ness, since I was raised there, and Oliver's ability to notice and record how New Yorkers relate to each other, especially to people they do not actually know, is superb.
And, anyway, I am grateful to a book which made me laugh, and to a writing style which I found breezy, astute and creative. For me this was a fun read, and even did make me think about how one relates to other people. Oliver, at least as a writer, is one funny guy, and somehow I ended up liking him and looking forward to reading more of what he writes,
I'm not convinced the book has an accurate title, though. On finishing it, I was left with a sense of an almost total lack of intimacy, and, I think, very little effort to try to achieve it. Maybe a sequel will show some commitment to actually seeking a deeper connection with the minds and hearts of people, rather than just body parts.
All that being said, this was a fun read, even for someone not at all of most of Oliver's world. The part which is definitely me is the New York-ness, since I was raised there, and Oliver's ability to notice and record how New Yorkers relate to each other, especially to people they do not actually know, is superb.
And, anyway, I am grateful to a book which made me laugh, and to a writing style which I found breezy, astute and creative. For me this was a fun read, and even did make me think about how one relates to other people. Oliver, at least as a writer, is one funny guy, and somehow I ended up liking him and looking forward to reading more of what he writes,
November 27, 2017
Funny but not especially worth a re-read.
November 26, 2017
Hilariously relatable and real.
January 13, 2017
Isaac Oliver may claim to be an idiot when it comes to intimacy, but he’s no idiot when it comes to writing hilarious, genuine prose. Intimacy Idiot shows the reader various snippets of Oliver’s life as a single gay man in New York City, including strange sexual encounters (hooking up with a furry, for example), his job at a box office, and time spent on the subway. The main narrative of this memoir chronicles Oliver’s struggle to find love and intimacy. This is an incredibly entertaining journey. The hilarity is relatable at points, but the strangeness makes it unique. Along with the comic prose, there are beautiful moments that spring from Oliver’s genuity, giving the memoir an emotional component.
However, the book could have used a more natural, developmental and linear flow. Sections that move away from the book’s main arc damage the overall impact. If you’re looking for a memoir with a clear arc, Intimacy Idiot may not be the best choice. But if you’re looking for a laugh from a genuine and smart writer, you should give Oliver’s memoir a shot.
Read the full review at 100 Story Reviews.
However, the book could have used a more natural, developmental and linear flow. Sections that move away from the book’s main arc damage the overall impact. If you’re looking for a memoir with a clear arc, Intimacy Idiot may not be the best choice. But if you’re looking for a laugh from a genuine and smart writer, you should give Oliver’s memoir a shot.
Read the full review at 100 Story Reviews.
May 26, 2017
David Sedaris' raunchy love-child set loose (and sometimes very loose) in the wilds of upper Manhattan, with a few digressions. Oliver is refreshingly, bitingly honest about his libertine sexual adventures, so if drop-trou-before-exchanging-names will set your blood boiling, you might best avoid these essays, poems, and diary entries. He gets around a LOT.
But can he write! The stories are generally short, snippets of life in the life of a young, very single and not always especially choosy gay man in NYC right now. He meets men on Grindr and Match and at writing retreats; sex comes early, and often, and friendship or relationships rarely follow. But he soldiers on. The story about his escapade with a drunken former minor-league hockey player had me laughing out loud; at the end of the book, I went back and read it again, and it delighted me just as much as the first time. (Something that the author rarely experiences.)
The "subway diaries" are perfect sketches of urban life, told with biting wit and occasionally dazzling insight.
Perfect summer reading on Fire Island or Provincetown, or anywhere, as long as you like a tinge of hot sauce.
But can he write! The stories are generally short, snippets of life in the life of a young, very single and not always especially choosy gay man in NYC right now. He meets men on Grindr and Match and at writing retreats; sex comes early, and often, and friendship or relationships rarely follow. But he soldiers on. The story about his escapade with a drunken former minor-league hockey player had me laughing out loud; at the end of the book, I went back and read it again, and it delighted me just as much as the first time. (Something that the author rarely experiences.)
The "subway diaries" are perfect sketches of urban life, told with biting wit and occasionally dazzling insight.
Perfect summer reading on Fire Island or Provincetown, or anywhere, as long as you like a tinge of hot sauce.
December 11, 2015
I came across this title from a customer who requested to order this book that we didn't carry. The crazy cover art alone intrigued me that I too ordered one for myself. I have to say that I'm glad that I did. Writer Issac Oliver is hysterial! If you took Sex and the City's Carrie Bradshaw, mixed in with Samantha Jones, and toss in a young Millennial hipster version of David Sedaris, then you have Issac Oliver.
Intimacy Idiot takes us through a series of funny anecdotes of the author experiencing dating and New York city life in a wild and wacky way that is too outlandish to be believed. From his crazy customer days as a ticket box office clerk to his subway observations of its eccentric metro passengers to his disastrous hook-ups from online dating sites, Oliver has plenty of tales to share that I found to be pee-in-your-pants funny.
An awesome, laugh-out-loud read for those that enjoy Sedaris and Sex and the City.
Intimacy Idiot takes us through a series of funny anecdotes of the author experiencing dating and New York city life in a wild and wacky way that is too outlandish to be believed. From his crazy customer days as a ticket box office clerk to his subway observations of its eccentric metro passengers to his disastrous hook-ups from online dating sites, Oliver has plenty of tales to share that I found to be pee-in-your-pants funny.
An awesome, laugh-out-loud read for those that enjoy Sedaris and Sex and the City.
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