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Brimstone and Marmalade
Just in time for Halloween, we have a funny, sweet, and slightly skewed short story by Aaron Corwin, an up-and-coming writer from Seattle.
All Mathilde wanted for her birthday was a pony. Instead, she got a demon. Sometimes growing up means learning that what you think you want is not always what you need.
At the publisher's request, this title is being sold without Digital Rights Management software (DRM) applied.
All Mathilde wanted for her birthday was a pony. Instead, she got a demon. Sometimes growing up means learning that what you think you want is not always what you need.
At the publisher's request, this title is being sold without Digital Rights Management software (DRM) applied.
32 pages, ebook
First published October 30, 2013
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 238 reviews
August 14, 2019
this is a short story in which a little girl wants a pony for her birthday, but is given a demon instead. and is cranky about it.
because little girls lack perspective.
i never understood the whole "little girls and ponies" thing, even as a little girl myself (which is probably for the best, because no way were we affording a freaking pony) i mean, i understand the fantasy of the pony, and the joy and freedom of riding with the wind in your pigtails and all that. but you don't need to own a pony for that. that's why god made riding lessons. giving a little girl a pony is a terrible idea, and is more about the parents wanting to flash status than anything else. ponies are a crapload of work, and even as a kid i recognized that - always needing to be fed and curried and have their mud-caked little hooves scraped out with that terrifying implement:
GACK!
you might as well just give them a human baby to raise.
and little girls are just not equipped to take care of a pony's needs. or baby's. a college friend told me a horrifying story of what happened to her childhood pony, involving a tether, a tree on a hill, and the short attention span and forgetfulness of a young child. and that's all you need to know, because it is too sad.
add to that the possibility of being thrown or kicked or trampled by a gigantic beast, and the fragility of those little pony legs, and what has to be done to the animal if anything happens to those little pony legs. it all seems like too much potential grief and emotional scarring to thrust in the sticky hands of a child.
but a demon? a tiny, self-sufficient creature with which you can actually verbally communicate and which can do cool shit despite being just a teeny little robed figure in a terrarium? with tiny little clawed hands?
SO MUCH AWESOME!
but little girls lack perspective and are more into the traditional fairytale visions of flowing tresses on horseback.
which is just too bad.
because this story is very much one of "don't know what you got til it's gone"
and it is genuinely sad.
loved the story, and now wanting a demon of my own.
great.
link to read it yourself: http://www.tor.com/stories/2013/10/br...
come to my blog!
because little girls lack perspective.
i never understood the whole "little girls and ponies" thing, even as a little girl myself (which is probably for the best, because no way were we affording a freaking pony) i mean, i understand the fantasy of the pony, and the joy and freedom of riding with the wind in your pigtails and all that. but you don't need to own a pony for that. that's why god made riding lessons. giving a little girl a pony is a terrible idea, and is more about the parents wanting to flash status than anything else. ponies are a crapload of work, and even as a kid i recognized that - always needing to be fed and curried and have their mud-caked little hooves scraped out with that terrifying implement:
GACK!
you might as well just give them a human baby to raise.
and little girls are just not equipped to take care of a pony's needs. or baby's. a college friend told me a horrifying story of what happened to her childhood pony, involving a tether, a tree on a hill, and the short attention span and forgetfulness of a young child. and that's all you need to know, because it is too sad.
add to that the possibility of being thrown or kicked or trampled by a gigantic beast, and the fragility of those little pony legs, and what has to be done to the animal if anything happens to those little pony legs. it all seems like too much potential grief and emotional scarring to thrust in the sticky hands of a child.
but a demon? a tiny, self-sufficient creature with which you can actually verbally communicate and which can do cool shit despite being just a teeny little robed figure in a terrarium? with tiny little clawed hands?
SO MUCH AWESOME!
but little girls lack perspective and are more into the traditional fairytale visions of flowing tresses on horseback.
which is just too bad.
because this story is very much one of "don't know what you got til it's gone"
and it is genuinely sad.
loved the story, and now wanting a demon of my own.
great.
link to read it yourself: http://www.tor.com/stories/2013/10/br...
come to my blog!
July 10, 2021
When I was a kid, every birthday and every Christmas without fail, I asked for a pet lamb.
I mean, HOLY CRAP! Am I right? Who wouldn't want one of those?
Anyway, you probably guessed that every birthday and every Christmas . . . I was disappointed.
One year, to put a stop to my whining, my dad asked if I really wouldn't rather have a hamster instead. I ceased my snuffling and said words to the effect of "Why, father, what is this magical beast of which you speak?" And for some reason, instead of telling me the truth, he described a green, slimy creature with pointy teeth. This appealed to my inner Wednesday Addams, of course, so yes, YES! I said. I did indeed want a hamster instead of a lamb.
So, you can imagine my disappointment when I received this:
Instead of this:
I mean, HOLY CRAP! Am I right? Who wouldn't want one of those?
Anyway, why any child would want a stupid pony when they could have a demon is beyond my imagining. I LOVED this story. Imagine my dismay to see that there are no other stories listed under this author's name.
So, to you, Aaron Corwin - DUDE! I COMMAND YOU! WRITE SOMETHING ELSE! OR FEEL THE STINGING TORMENT AS YOU ARE SLOWLY DIGESTED OVER A COUPLE OF YEARS BY THE RAVENOUS GREEN POINTY-TEETHED HAMSTERS OF GARAKH’NURR!
I mean, HOLY CRAP! Am I right? Who wouldn't want one of those?
Anyway, you probably guessed that every birthday and every Christmas . . . I was disappointed.
One year, to put a stop to my whining, my dad asked if I really wouldn't rather have a hamster instead. I ceased my snuffling and said words to the effect of "Why, father, what is this magical beast of which you speak?" And for some reason, instead of telling me the truth, he described a green, slimy creature with pointy teeth. This appealed to my inner Wednesday Addams, of course, so yes, YES! I said. I did indeed want a hamster instead of a lamb.
So, you can imagine my disappointment when I received this:
Instead of this:
I mean, HOLY CRAP! Am I right? Who wouldn't want one of those?
Anyway, why any child would want a stupid pony when they could have a demon is beyond my imagining. I LOVED this story. Imagine my dismay to see that there are no other stories listed under this author's name.
So, to you, Aaron Corwin - DUDE! I COMMAND YOU! WRITE SOMETHING ELSE! OR FEEL THE STINGING TORMENT AS YOU ARE SLOWLY DIGESTED OVER A COUPLE OF YEARS BY THE RAVENOUS GREEN POINTY-TEETHED HAMSTERS OF GARAKH’NURR!
April 27, 2023
Awwwwwww.... I mean, MWA-HA-HA!!!!!
I mean, MWA-HA-HAwwwwwww....
Ix'thor is a Miniature Dark Lord, sold as a pet in this otherwise ordinary world where little demons are suitable first pets for little girls who really want ponies but are not responsible enough yet for that. A demon who is pretty much like a cute little hamster. Except looking like a floating robe with sharp clawed hands. And with the all-caps "voice like the truck that picked up their garbage in the morning, only smaller. A voice that tinily bellows, "IX’THOR DEMANDS SACRIFICE!" when the demon is hungry for a bit of a 'grub soul'. And with the unbelievable in its cuteness evil adorable laugh and the belief in its all-consuming power and invincibility.
----------------
Read the story in its adorable and quirky entirety here, on Tor.com: http://www.tor.com/stories/2013/10/br...
(Special thanks to karen for her review that pointed me to this adorable demon cuteness!
https://www.goodreads.com/review/show... )
I mean, MWA-HA-HAwwwwwww....
"Mathilde didn’t want a demon. She wanted a pony.Yes, few things are worse than ending up with a pet demon instead of a pony for your birthday. Mathilde sure thinks so. After all, ponies are made of adorable cuteness, right? (Or at least such seems to be the message the establishment - I feel very grown-up using a big word like 'Establishment' in the review of this cute, sweet and sadly adorable story - aimed at little girls who expect princess-like gifts. Blergh.)
“Ponies are expensive,” Mathilde’s mother said. “How about a nice little demon instead?”
Ix'thor is a Miniature Dark Lord, sold as a pet in this otherwise ordinary world where little demons are suitable first pets for little girls who really want ponies but are not responsible enough yet for that. A demon who is pretty much like a cute little hamster. Except looking like a floating robe with sharp clawed hands. And with the all-caps "voice like the truck that picked up their garbage in the morning, only smaller. A voice that tinily bellows, "IX’THOR DEMANDS SACRIFICE!" when the demon is hungry for a bit of a 'grub soul'. And with the unbelievable in its cuteness evil adorable laugh and the belief in its all-consuming power and invincibility.
"How could anyone think that a demon was better than a pony?"If you've ever been a kid stuck with a pet that eventually wins your heart, or have a soft spot under your outer cynical crust, you will probably find this adorable and sweetly quirky, and the ten minutes it takes to read this short story will be ten minutes you won't regret. And if you do regret taking some of your time for this story - well, then Ix'thor probably already owns your soul, somewhere in his (adorably) demonic domain. MWA-HA-HA!!!
A silly question, really. Just one look here will suffice for the answer.
"The cage had changed since the last time she’d seen it. Ix’thor had moved around the pebbles at the bottom and stacked them up into a high-backed chair. He had taken apart his cardboard box and used it to build a little tower. Another piece of cardboard had been fashioned into a wide, diamond-shaped sword with tiny skulls carved into the blade. In the dim red light, it looked like every pebble in the cage had been worn down slightly to resemble hundreds of itty-bitty multicolored skulls."
----------------
Read the story in its adorable and quirky entirety here, on Tor.com: http://www.tor.com/stories/2013/10/br...
(Special thanks to karen for her review that pointed me to this adorable demon cuteness!
https://www.goodreads.com/review/show... )
April 25, 2014
Mathilde's a spoiled bitch! "I want a pony! I want a pony!" Quit whining, you're getting a damned demon, for fuck's sake!
Perhaps I should say, she's getting a demon of the damned! BWA-HA-HA-HA-HAAAAAAA (<--That's evil laughter, in case you didn't pick up on it. I'm not very good at it.)
In this delightful and all too short story, young Mathilde's birthday is coming and all she wants is a pony. But ponies are a big responsibility, one which her parents don't think she's ready for. Much better to start her off with a pet demon.
Maybe that sounds illogical and flat out crazy, but I have to agree with the parents here. Ponies are dicks! Let me explain in the following reminiscence...
CUE THE WAVY FLASHBACK LINES!
When I was kid, probably not much older than Mathilde, I was mucking out the cow barn and feeding the animals. I threw down some hay for my aunt's pony (his name was Tony, of course), and because he couldn't reach the pile, I nudged it towards him with my foot. Well, the little bastard must've got spooked, because his double line of big ol' teeth shot out and bit my stomach. I was in shock and a good deal of pain. It left quite a mark (And that's the story of how I got my belly button!...just kidding).
UNWAVY THE FLASHBACK LINES
The mark that really stuck with me is that ponies are dicks. He could've just backed away like any other spooked horse would, but no, Tony took this opportunity to strike back at his human slavemasters (We would harness him to the wee-est tiny trap for short joyrides and I'm pretty sure he resented us for it...guess I don't blame him) and hell, I wasn't even his owner! I was just trying to feed him. Oh well, back to this here story...
Brimstone and Marmalade is well worth your ten minutes to read, even if you have no interest in ponies or demons. It's a tightly told story, a little vignette of childhood memory paralleling so very many children's experiences. Even if it wasn't exactly a pony, who didn't yearn for a pet of some sort as a kid? And who didn't get let down by their parents? You're probably going to relate to this story and that alone often makes for a good read. So couple that with a smartly told tale and you've got yourself a nice little coffee break story to enjoy! And you will enjoy it...THIS I COMMAND!!!
By the way!
You can read this story for free in its entirety on Tor's site at... http://www.tor.com/stories/2013/10/br...
Perhaps I should say, she's getting a demon of the damned! BWA-HA-HA-HA-HAAAAAAA (<--That's evil laughter, in case you didn't pick up on it. I'm not very good at it.)
In this delightful and all too short story, young Mathilde's birthday is coming and all she wants is a pony. But ponies are a big responsibility, one which her parents don't think she's ready for. Much better to start her off with a pet demon.
Maybe that sounds illogical and flat out crazy, but I have to agree with the parents here. Ponies are dicks! Let me explain in the following reminiscence...
CUE THE WAVY FLASHBACK LINES!
When I was kid, probably not much older than Mathilde, I was mucking out the cow barn and feeding the animals. I threw down some hay for my aunt's pony (his name was Tony, of course), and because he couldn't reach the pile, I nudged it towards him with my foot. Well, the little bastard must've got spooked, because his double line of big ol' teeth shot out and bit my stomach. I was in shock and a good deal of pain. It left quite a mark (And that's the story of how I got my belly button!...just kidding).
UNWAVY THE FLASHBACK LINES
The mark that really stuck with me is that ponies are dicks. He could've just backed away like any other spooked horse would, but no, Tony took this opportunity to strike back at his human slavemasters (We would harness him to the wee-est tiny trap for short joyrides and I'm pretty sure he resented us for it...guess I don't blame him) and hell, I wasn't even his owner! I was just trying to feed him. Oh well, back to this here story...
Brimstone and Marmalade is well worth your ten minutes to read, even if you have no interest in ponies or demons. It's a tightly told story, a little vignette of childhood memory paralleling so very many children's experiences. Even if it wasn't exactly a pony, who didn't yearn for a pet of some sort as a kid? And who didn't get let down by their parents? You're probably going to relate to this story and that alone often makes for a good read. So couple that with a smartly told tale and you've got yourself a nice little coffee break story to enjoy! And you will enjoy it...THIS I COMMAND!!!
By the way!
You can read this story for free in its entirety on Tor's site at... http://www.tor.com/stories/2013/10/br...
October 18, 2017
Tor.com short story (read it here online) that's delightful and heart-wrenching at the same time. It's a good one for Halloween: there's even a trick-or-treating scene in it!
Mathilde wants a pony for her birthday. What she definitely does not want is a pet demon. But her Nana takes her to the demon store anyway, telling Mathilde that if she can take good care of a little demon, it would go a long ways toward assuring her parents that she's responsible enough to have a pony.
So Mathilde, reluctantly, picks out a tiny demon in a black, hooded robe with glowing red eyes:
Mathilde wants a pony for her birthday. What she definitely does not want is a pet demon. But her Nana takes her to the demon store anyway, telling Mathilde that if she can take good care of a little demon, it would go a long ways toward assuring her parents that she's responsible enough to have a pony.
So Mathilde, reluctantly, picks out a tiny demon in a black, hooded robe with glowing red eyes:
“Hello,” she said. “What’s your name?”This story takes on the troubles and concerns of childhood and the issues of kids taking care of pets. Where the "pet" is an intelligent being - and, moreover, a demon that constantly issues threats, even if it's totally unable to carry through with them - the combination sits a little bit uneasily. Still, Ix'thor won my heart, loyally promising to destroy anyone who hurts Mathilde's feelings. He's maybe my favorite literary demon ever. And in the end you have a character who has a growing up experience, along with the question of what really is the monster.
I AM IX’THOR, MASTER OF THE VENOMOUS PITS OF KARTHOOM! The creature raised his arms over his head. He had a voice like the truck that picked up their garbage in the morning, only smaller. BOW BEFORE YOUR MASTER, SMALL ONE!
“How about that!” The old man raised his fuzzy white eyebrows. “He told you his name first thing! He must really like you.”
April 24, 2014
Heck..I wonder if my mom will get me a demon for a pet if I'm really good. My husband says no more animals.
How great would it be to have a pet that yells IX’THOR DEMANDS SACRIFICE! when he is hungry?
How great would it be to have a pet that yells IX’THOR DEMANDS SACRIFICE! when he is hungry?
May 20, 2019
This is an absolutely hilarious short story of a little girl and her pet demon. Highly recommended, particularly to fans of Terry Pratchett, Robert Rankin or Tom Holt. I can’t believe the writer has no other published work as yet but I’ll be keeping an eye out for it.
a tiny bit of BLOOD FOR THE tiny BLOOD GOD!!!
a tiny bit of BLOOD FOR THE tiny BLOOD GOD!!!
October 20, 2017
Mathilde quiere un poni para su cumpleaños, pero sus papis dicen que es un demonio o nada.
“That’s okay,” Mathilde said. “I don’t mind. I’ll just take my revenge when I rule the world. Mwa ha ha.”
For some reason grown-ups always thought that sort of thing was hilariously funny.
Cosas que pasan entre niños y adultos, y demonios pequeños con delirios de grandeza.
“That’s okay,” Mathilde said. “I don’t mind. I’ll just take my revenge when I rule the world. Mwa ha ha.”
For some reason grown-ups always thought that sort of thing was hilariously funny.
Cosas que pasan entre niños y adultos, y demonios pequeños con delirios de grandeza.
February 29, 2020
That was a cute read!! I loved how the author actually embraced his young character and her POV was an original children POV and not an adult trying to remember how it was to be a child. The story was sweet, touching and, even though it was short, the writer managed to make his characters likable and make the reader engaged to the story.
February 7, 2017
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This story made me cry.
Mathilde doesn't want a demon for her birthday, she wants a pony. But a demon is what her grandmother gets her, because demons are easier to take care of than ponies.
"I AM IX’THOR, MASTER OF THE VENOMOUS PITS OF KARTHOOM!"
Mathilde is less than pleased with Ix'thor, which just goes to show how crazy she is. Speaking as someone who has spent a fair amount of time with horses, ponies smell. Ix'thor, on the other hand, has a flaming sword and surrounds himself with smoke.
Oh, and you feed him by putting grub souls on a little stone altar.
IX'THOR ACCEPTS YOUR SACRIFICE. NUM. NUM. NUM.
When disciplining him, you beam a flashlight at him instead of spritzing him with a squirt bottle (although I imagine holy water would probably do the trick nicely too).
One of the best things about this story is how Mathilde is written. Corwin really captures the mentality of a child. Mathilde wants a pony because the girls she associates as having greater social capital all have ponies, and she wants to fit in. On the other hand, once she shows her friends her demon and they are impressed by his fearsome powers, she starts to realize her pet has value. And as she gets to know him, and bonds with him, she likes him not because of them, but because of who he is. It's a really great portrayal of how affection develops and grows over time.
The ending of this story is depressing as heck, though. I never thought I'd cry over a demon.
...I did, though.
In the words, of Ix'thor, this story was: EXCELLENT. Just make sure you have a tissue handy.
5 stars.
July 4, 2022
All Mathilde wanted for her birthday was a pony. Instead, she got a demon.
A cute and funny (and also a little sad) short story about a little girl that might not have gotten the thing she wanted for her birthday, but maybe got just about the thing that she needed.
This turned out to be the perfect read for my Halloween this year. Just like Mathilde I was probably looking for something else, but got the thing that I really needed today.
Thanks, Paul, for the recommendation!
The story can be read for free here: https://www.tor.com/2013/10/30/brimst...
My rating: 4.5 stars
Recommended by Paul
A cute and funny (and also a little sad) short story about a little girl that might not have gotten the thing she wanted for her birthday, but maybe got just about the thing that she needed.
This turned out to be the perfect read for my Halloween this year. Just like Mathilde I was probably looking for something else, but got the thing that I really needed today.
Thanks, Paul, for the recommendation!
The story can be read for free here: https://www.tor.com/2013/10/30/brimst...
My rating: 4.5 stars
Recommended by Paul
May 30, 2014
Ix’thor reached out his little hand. GIVE ME YOUR SOUL AND I WILL GRANT YOU LIMITLESS POWER.
“Mom says I can’t have limitless power until I’m older."
December 4, 2014
This is my 100th review on this site!! Yayy!!!
I did not like this story as much as others I follow. Sigh. And, it's also my least favorite cover of all the tor shorts I've read. Double sigh.
Brimstone and Marmalade is the story of Mathilde (A+ for an awesome name btw), a young girl who wants a pony for her birthday. But her parents think she may be a bit young to take on the responsibility of a pony, so they bring her grandmother down to buy her a pet demon instead. Thus enters Ix'thor, an action figure-sized Dark Lord who chants things like DOWN WITH YOU INSOLENT MORTAL and HAIL IX'THOR KING OF DARK ONES and things of that nature. That all sounds kinda scary and dark but this little guy is all bark and no bite because demons that bite wouldn't be sold as pets to young girls who want ponies. Duh!
So at first Mathilde is all "Waaaahhhhh I want a pony. I don't want a demon. I'm spoiled and obnoxious and should be treated like a fairy princess," and all that nonsense. But eventually, we can see that Ix'thor starts to wear her down. Kinda like a new puppy placed in the hands of someone who may be a cat person. I mean, its widdle, and cute, and fluffy, and says oh so adorable things like DOWN WITH YOU SPAWN. Seriously, who wants a pony anyway?
By the end of the story, Mathilde and Ix'thor have bonded and she no longer wants a pony. OOOOOOOOH....what a commentary on little girls turning to the dark side as they grow older! At first it is wanting a demon instead of a pony, and then it is black goth makeup and boys on motorcycles, and then TOTAL WORLD DOMINATION! (insert evil laugh here).
If you thought I was being sarcastic, you're very smart. I guess that's just kind how I feel about this one. I've read some seriously awesome shorts on tor.com recently, and this one just kinda fell flat. I thought it was actually just lacking in a lot of creativity, and it felt very generic. The writing style was simplistic, and I didn't really connect with any character, but the potential was totally there. I mean, pet demons! Come on! The possibilities are endless! Plus, I just read a far superior short story about ponies recently and this one cannot compare. The one thing I will say is that the title is kinda cool and is probably one of the biggest reasons I read this. Too bad I have absolutely no idea what brimstone and marmalade have to do with ponies and demons and dark lords and little girls heading to the dark side. Am I missing something?
I am settling on 2.5 stars but so many others enjoyed this and it is online for FREE so if you want to read it, you can right here:
http://www.tor.com/stories/2013/10/br...
I did not like this story as much as others I follow. Sigh. And, it's also my least favorite cover of all the tor shorts I've read. Double sigh.
Brimstone and Marmalade is the story of Mathilde (A+ for an awesome name btw), a young girl who wants a pony for her birthday. But her parents think she may be a bit young to take on the responsibility of a pony, so they bring her grandmother down to buy her a pet demon instead. Thus enters Ix'thor, an action figure-sized Dark Lord who chants things like DOWN WITH YOU INSOLENT MORTAL and HAIL IX'THOR KING OF DARK ONES and things of that nature. That all sounds kinda scary and dark but this little guy is all bark and no bite because demons that bite wouldn't be sold as pets to young girls who want ponies. Duh!
So at first Mathilde is all "Waaaahhhhh I want a pony. I don't want a demon. I'm spoiled and obnoxious and should be treated like a fairy princess," and all that nonsense. But eventually, we can see that Ix'thor starts to wear her down. Kinda like a new puppy placed in the hands of someone who may be a cat person. I mean, its widdle, and cute, and fluffy, and says oh so adorable things like DOWN WITH YOU SPAWN. Seriously, who wants a pony anyway?
By the end of the story, Mathilde and Ix'thor have bonded and she no longer wants a pony. OOOOOOOOH....what a commentary on little girls turning to the dark side as they grow older! At first it is wanting a demon instead of a pony, and then it is black goth makeup and boys on motorcycles, and then TOTAL WORLD DOMINATION! (insert evil laugh here).
If you thought I was being sarcastic, you're very smart. I guess that's just kind how I feel about this one. I've read some seriously awesome shorts on tor.com recently, and this one just kinda fell flat. I thought it was actually just lacking in a lot of creativity, and it felt very generic. The writing style was simplistic, and I didn't really connect with any character, but the potential was totally there. I mean, pet demons! Come on! The possibilities are endless! Plus, I just read a far superior short story about ponies recently and this one cannot compare. The one thing I will say is that the title is kinda cool and is probably one of the biggest reasons I read this. Too bad I have absolutely no idea what brimstone and marmalade have to do with ponies and demons and dark lords and little girls heading to the dark side. Am I missing something?
I am settling on 2.5 stars but so many others enjoyed this and it is online for FREE so if you want to read it, you can right here:
http://www.tor.com/stories/2013/10/br...
March 22, 2017
So karen was all "Ooooh!" and then Karly was also all, "Ooooh" + "It's FREE" so...I read this on my break. That's how short this freebie is over at Tor.com. Also, that is how peer pressure works.
This story is sweet and sad but it is also painfully easy to relate to since so many of us went through this exact same thing only scratch the demon and put whatever replacement thing we got in its place. Typically, the replacement is a hamster, guinea pig, or turtle but sometimes it's a second-hand radio or a knock-off Big Wheel or a homemade Cabbage Patch Kid.
I take back my baby comment, karen. I mean, yes, I know babies really are mini-demons but they are NOT the kind you get at the demon store. Where in hell is the demon store, anyway (ha ha, I'm so clever) because now I, too, want to go there and get a little demon. Not a baby, but an actual little demon from the demon store. They are delightful! Small and evil and ever-so-lovable! Gah!
And ponies are for chumps, anyhow. They are so much work and you don't actually get to lie on their backs all summer long while they eat dandelions and you gaze at clouds.
This story is sweet and sad but it is also painfully easy to relate to since so many of us went through this exact same thing only scratch the demon and put whatever replacement thing we got in its place. Typically, the replacement is a hamster, guinea pig, or turtle but sometimes it's a second-hand radio or a knock-off Big Wheel or a homemade Cabbage Patch Kid.
I take back my baby comment, karen. I mean, yes, I know babies really are mini-demons but they are NOT the kind you get at the demon store. Where in hell is the demon store, anyway (ha ha, I'm so clever) because now I, too, want to go there and get a little demon. Not a baby, but an actual little demon from the demon store. They are delightful! Small and evil and ever-so-lovable! Gah!
And ponies are for chumps, anyhow. They are so much work and you don't actually get to lie on their backs all summer long while they eat dandelions and you gaze at clouds.
July 2, 2020
Wow! That was one terrific little Halloween story. I must say, I've read a several of the tor shorts, and this is was easily one of my favorites. Such a delightfully twisted tale that perfectly encapsulated all of the mixed emotions that go with childhood pet ownership.
Sorry, I don't have time to say any more, but do yourself a favor and check it out when you've got a few minutes to spare. You won't regret it.
"All Mathilde wanted for her birthday was a pony. Instead, she got a demon. Sometimes growing up means learning that what you think you want is not always what you need."
You can read it for free right here: http://www.tor.com/2013/10/30/brimsto...
Sorry, I don't have time to say any more, but do yourself a favor and check it out when you've got a few minutes to spare. You won't regret it.
"All Mathilde wanted for her birthday was a pony. Instead, she got a demon. Sometimes growing up means learning that what you think you want is not always what you need."
You can read it for free right here: http://www.tor.com/2013/10/30/brimsto...
March 27, 2016
Hilarious short story - but poor Ix’thor! Damn people like Becky anyway.
The story is unusual and told completely tongue in cheek. Despite the mini dark lord only having so many lines, it was easy to get attached to the funny thing. My favorite part was probably the description of his rearranging the cage.
The author tells the story well and clearly has a sense of humor. Bravo.
November 1, 2019
It's Mathilde's birthday soon and all the little girl wants is a pony. But a pony is expensive so her parents come up with all kinds of excuses and eventually team up with her grandma even to get Mathilde a demon instead.
Her pet demon is Ix'thor and he's a Dark Lord. Problem is, he was born different form the other Dark Lord demons (no horns) so nobody wanted to be around him.
Naturally, caring for a demon is a tiny little bit different from taking care of a pony so there are some ... hiccups at first. Although, if you think about it, it's not actually all THAT different.
So this is about a young girl and a tiny demon getting to know one another and it was seriously funny. Yes, especially the demon, who spoke in capital letters, of course, but was seriously cute and just wanted to be liked (and fed).
As such, it's also more or less a typical story of a child growing up; of being bullied by other children; of learning the hard lessons too. A cute little story about wishes and accepting others just the way they are.
I was actually a bit disappointed in the end though.
You can read it for free here: https://www.tor.com/2013/10/30/brimst...
Her pet demon is Ix'thor and he's a Dark Lord. Problem is, he was born different form the other Dark Lord demons (no horns) so nobody wanted to be around him.
Naturally, caring for a demon is a tiny little bit different from taking care of a pony so there are some ... hiccups at first. Although, if you think about it, it's not actually all THAT different.
So this is about a young girl and a tiny demon getting to know one another and it was seriously funny. Yes, especially the demon, who spoke in capital letters, of course, but was seriously cute and just wanted to be liked (and fed).
As such, it's also more or less a typical story of a child growing up; of being bullied by other children; of learning the hard lessons too. A cute little story about wishes and accepting others just the way they are.
I was actually a bit disappointed in the end though.
You can read it for free here: https://www.tor.com/2013/10/30/brimst...
August 31, 2016
Had a blast with this one.
A sweet story of Mathilde and her pet demon, IX’THOR.
KNEEL BEFORE YOUR MASTER, MORTAL!
IX’THOR DEMANDS FIVE STARS!
I'LL FEED YOU TO THE RAVENOUS TONGUE-BEASTS OF GARAKH’NURR!
MWA HA HA HA HA!
.....*sound of crickets*......Yeah, sorry about that. I kinda got carried away.
Greatest little story. I had the stupidest grin on my face while reading this. I smirked , laughed out loud, and even shed a tear.
FOOLISH MORTALS THE LINK IS HERE :http://www.tor.com/stories/2013/10/br...
MWA HA HA HA HA!
“Mathilde didn’t want a demon. She wanted a pony.
“Ponies are expensive,” Mathilde’s mother said. “How about a nice little demon instead?”
“I don’t want a demon!” Mathilde stamped her foot. “Demons are ugly and creepy and they smell bad!”
A sweet story of Mathilde and her pet demon, IX’THOR.
KNEEL BEFORE YOUR MASTER, MORTAL!
IX’THOR DEMANDS FIVE STARS!
I'LL FEED YOU TO THE RAVENOUS TONGUE-BEASTS OF GARAKH’NURR!
MWA HA HA HA HA!
.....*sound of crickets*......Yeah, sorry about that. I kinda got carried away.
Greatest little story. I had the stupidest grin on my face while reading this. I smirked , laughed out loud, and even shed a tear.
FOOLISH MORTALS THE LINK IS HERE :http://www.tor.com/stories/2013/10/br...
MWA HA HA HA HA!
June 5, 2014
Oh Karen..... why are you so awesome?!
This story is a wonderful little fable about a girl who wants a pony for her birthday, and gets a demon instead! AND.... I want one! Mommy, mommy can I have a demon, puh-lease?!
I love this type of short story! Quick, devourable and darkly delicious Brimstone and Marmalade is brilliant! Also..... FREE!!! Read it :)
June 25, 2014
Mathilde doesn't want a demon, she wants a pony.
You know what, kid? I get it. I relished the chance to go riding, and always wanted a horse of my own.
But I, much like you, learned to love that little demon(no mean feat, for a 32 page story), and know that a pony just will not do any more.
Ponies can't talk, ponies don't have voices like the truck that picks up the garbage in the morning, only smaller. Ponies can't call you minion, or threaten to destroy you enemies, or make you laugh quite like Ix’thor could after a hard day at school.
I've come to the realisation after reading this story that ponies kinda suck, and demons are definitely the way to go.
See you at the demon store, kid.
This story can be read for free, here: http://www.tor.com/stories/2013/10/br...
January 13, 2016
Silly child,who wouldn't want their own demon!?!
March 24, 2017
IX’THOR . . . HUNGERS
IX’THOR ACCEPTS YOUR SACRIFICE....NUM. NUM. NUM.
IX’THOR ACCEPTS YOUR SACRIFICE....NUM. NUM. NUM.
December 19, 2016
I think I will take a demon pony.
July 24, 2014
SPOILER ALERT
Dear author,
demons don't die, they simply return to hell or the dark dimension they came from. Here's how to resurrect Ix'thor:
Gather the souls of 7 cockroaches, 13 ants and 3 jellyfish. Add them to a copper saucepan. Gently muddle with a wooden spoon. Put the saucepan on Ix'thor's altar, and set the souls on fire. While they are burning, proclaim the following incantation three times:
YTINIRTYLOHNUEHTFOEMANEHTNI
KOOBDNAREDAERROHTUA
MLAERKRADEHTTRAPEDOTUOYDNAMMOCI
EREHTHGIRRAEPPADNA
Use the ashes of the sacrifice to write his name on your forehead, over your heart and on the palm of your writing hand. Complete the summoning with the words "So be it".
Ix'thor will be there in no time, and you can start writing another story about him.
Dear readers,
this short story is about a little girl who wanted a pony for her birthday, but all she got was a miniature demon. The story is hilarious, heartwarming and a little bit sad. You can read it for free at Tor.com, and, when you enjoyed it, purchase it afterwards at Amazon for 0,75€ / 1,03US$ / 0,64£ to let the author benefit a bit as well.
Read it.
IX'THOR DEMANDS IT!
(Review also available at Booklikes )
Dear author,
demons don't die, they simply return to hell or the dark dimension they came from. Here's how to resurrect Ix'thor:
Gather the souls of 7 cockroaches, 13 ants and 3 jellyfish. Add them to a copper saucepan. Gently muddle with a wooden spoon. Put the saucepan on Ix'thor's altar, and set the souls on fire. While they are burning, proclaim the following incantation three times:
YTINIRTYLOHNUEHTFOEMANEHTNI
KOOBDNAREDAERROHTUA
MLAERKRADEHTTRAPEDOTUOYDNAMMOCI
EREHTHGIRRAEPPADNA
Use the ashes of the sacrifice to write his name on your forehead, over your heart and on the palm of your writing hand. Complete the summoning with the words "So be it".
Ix'thor will be there in no time, and you can start writing another story about him.
Dear readers,
this short story is about a little girl who wanted a pony for her birthday, but all she got was a miniature demon. The story is hilarious, heartwarming and a little bit sad. You can read it for free at Tor.com, and, when you enjoyed it, purchase it afterwards at Amazon for 0,75€ / 1,03US$ / 0,64£ to let the author benefit a bit as well.
Read it.
IX'THOR DEMANDS IT!
(Review also available at Booklikes )
October 18, 2017
This is a Tor.com short story (available here) and is indeed very short. It packs a lot into that space, though, and I have to admit to being captured fast and never let go. It's a light-toned ride with a great emotional impact and fantastic character dynamic. And it goes even better with the Halloween season, while it's at it.
May 14, 2020
Read via the Worlds Seen in Passing anthology.
Every little girl wants a pony, but ponies are a lot more expensive and harder to take care of than pet demons. This piece was hilarious. I literally laughed throughout every single interaction with the little demon pet, and by the end of it, I desperately wanted one of my very own.
Every little girl wants a pony, but ponies are a lot more expensive and harder to take care of than pet demons. This piece was hilarious. I literally laughed throughout every single interaction with the little demon pet, and by the end of it, I desperately wanted one of my very own.
February 1, 2022
WHY AM I CRYING
July 8, 2015
A very fast and easy story with a very ordinary lesson. Who doesn't want a little demon for birthday instead of a pony?
"I AM IX’THOR, MASTER OF THE VENOMOUS PITS OF KARTHOOM!...BOW BEFORE YOUR MASTER, SMALL ONE!"
Supongo que el hit para mi esta época navideña son las historias cortas, ya identifique como unas 5 que quiero leer!
Este si me sorprendió, me saco unas cuantas risotadas. Interesante no? Como de niños nos aferramos a ciertas cosas y cuando nos llega algo diferente lo vemos desagradable...hasta que nos encariñamos.
Historia bonita y divertida. Recomendada para quienes quieren leer algo ligero pero con mensaje. Gratis en la pagina Tor.com BRIMSTONE AND MARMALADE
"KNEEL BEFORE YOUR MASTER, MORTAL!"
PD: No dejo de repetir los diálogos del demonio en mi cabeza con voz de ardilla, es muy gracioso!! XDXD
Me gusto tanto la historia que ya la volví a leer LOL
"I AM IX’THOR, MASTER OF THE VENOMOUS PITS OF KARTHOOM!...BOW BEFORE YOUR MASTER, SMALL ONE!"
Supongo que el hit para mi esta época navideña son las historias cortas, ya identifique como unas 5 que quiero leer!
Este si me sorprendió, me saco unas cuantas risotadas. Interesante no? Como de niños nos aferramos a ciertas cosas y cuando nos llega algo diferente lo vemos desagradable...hasta que nos encariñamos.
Historia bonita y divertida. Recomendada para quienes quieren leer algo ligero pero con mensaje. Gratis en la pagina Tor.com BRIMSTONE AND MARMALADE
"KNEEL BEFORE YOUR MASTER, MORTAL!"
PD: No dejo de repetir los diálogos del demonio en mi cabeza con voz de ardilla, es muy gracioso!! XDXD
Me gusto tanto la historia que ya la volví a leer LOL
January 24, 2015
Who on earth would like to have a pony, when you can have cutest demon alive?
Loved the story. Wish it was longer, though.
Loved the story. Wish it was longer, though.
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