A popular post from January 2008
By Julie Wright
Today I am in the middle of edits, and have no time to be clever or original. So I have taken something I wrote as a creative exercise several years back and am doing a reprint here:
You might be a writer if . . .
Your spouse refuses to take you to the movies anymore because you mutter editing advice on how to tighten the dialogue and strengthen the plot.
You read books with a red pen in hand.
You pass judgment before hitting the period of the first sentence in any novel on whether the author has any intelligence at all.
All major relationship decisions are based on whether the other person knows the difference between lay and lie.
You got kicked out of Sunday School for pointing out a place in the Songs of Solomon where you felt the author lacked vision.
You cry in bookstores when you see a new book published by the imprint that recently rejected you.
You get caught eavesdropping on conversations, but insist you're not being nosy, just doing research.
Anyone who ever wronged you back in high school is now either a victim or an incompetent villain in one of your novels.
You know what a rejection letter sounds like as it swirls around in the garbage disposal.
You know what a rejection letter sounds like as it swirls around in the toilet.
You've ever said, "Well they just didn't read it!" after getting a rejection letter.
You've ever believed you could pay off your house with your first royalty check. HAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!!! And now that you know you can't, you find that it isn't really that funny.
Your children eat corn dogs and Happy Meals when you're on a deadline.
Your children eat a lot of corn dogs and Happy Meals.
You named your dog Victor, your fish Hugo and your two parakeets Jane and Austen.
You hear voices in your head conversing, arguing, falling in love . . . and somehow you're sure this doesn't mean your crazy,
merely a writer . . .
Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Monday, April 10, 2017
Friday, April 7, 2017
Increasing Your Funny Quotient
A popular post from January 2008
by Annette Lyon
Humor in writing is tough to get right. It's all too easy for a joke to go just slightly off the mark and miss the laugh.
I think many writers do manage to be funny to a degree, but their problem is that they don't take it to the next level, the unexpected place where the laugh comes at you from the side so that you can't help but wipe away tears.
One great way of taking your humor to the next level is to analyze the laugh you're trying to make. What's the obvious joke (even if it's a funny one)?
Now, how can you take that joke one step (or even better, two steps) further?
An example:
In a recent essay I read, the author described a soul-sucking job and the manager she worked for. A good comparison (and a funny laugh) would have been to say her boss was a vampire, sucking the life out of her employees.
But this author took it a step further:
"[S]even years later, I voluntarily left a good-paying, soul-sucking, part time job as the records clerk for an office of remarkable neurosurgeons and one prickly office manager (who I am still convinced has no reflection in a mirror) to take a position at a veterinary hospital."
The reader deduces that she's a vampire without the writer ever saying so. It's a classic case of show-don't-tell.
Chandler from the sitcom Friends is another terrific example of taking the humor past the obvious. Take, for example, the time when he and Joey try to determine the identity of two babies, one of which belongs to Ross. One baby has clothing with ducks on it, and the other has clowns.
Joey decides to flip a coin about it, saying that the baby with ducks on its clothes will win if the coin lands on heads because ducks have heads.
It would have been funny enough had Chandler said, "What, and clowns don't have heads?"
But in a sense, that's what the audience is already thinking (and already laughing) about.
Chandler instead comes out with something that uses the first joke (clowns have heads too) and creates a second laugh by planting a comical image in our minds:
"What kind of freak clowns did you have at your birthday parties?"
Bull's eye.
Show-don't-tell is powerful no matter what kind of writing you're doing. Learn the skill well.
Then learn to take the humor past the obvious joke. Find out how far you can take it to create funny, fresh, and unexpected images.
It helps to read books, essays, and columns by some of the best funny men and women we have writing today. Also, watch comedians. Pay attention to how they craft their jokes, how the punch line flips the joke on its head and makes you laugh. Notice how jokes often come full circle later in the book/sketch/essay and take on new meaning the second time.
by Annette Lyon
Humor in writing is tough to get right. It's all too easy for a joke to go just slightly off the mark and miss the laugh.
I think many writers do manage to be funny to a degree, but their problem is that they don't take it to the next level, the unexpected place where the laugh comes at you from the side so that you can't help but wipe away tears.
One great way of taking your humor to the next level is to analyze the laugh you're trying to make. What's the obvious joke (even if it's a funny one)?
Now, how can you take that joke one step (or even better, two steps) further?
An example:
In a recent essay I read, the author described a soul-sucking job and the manager she worked for. A good comparison (and a funny laugh) would have been to say her boss was a vampire, sucking the life out of her employees.
But this author took it a step further:
"[S]even years later, I voluntarily left a good-paying, soul-sucking, part time job as the records clerk for an office of remarkable neurosurgeons and one prickly office manager (who I am still convinced has no reflection in a mirror) to take a position at a veterinary hospital."
The reader deduces that she's a vampire without the writer ever saying so. It's a classic case of show-don't-tell.
Chandler from the sitcom Friends is another terrific example of taking the humor past the obvious. Take, for example, the time when he and Joey try to determine the identity of two babies, one of which belongs to Ross. One baby has clothing with ducks on it, and the other has clowns.
Joey decides to flip a coin about it, saying that the baby with ducks on its clothes will win if the coin lands on heads because ducks have heads.
It would have been funny enough had Chandler said, "What, and clowns don't have heads?"
But in a sense, that's what the audience is already thinking (and already laughing) about.
Chandler instead comes out with something that uses the first joke (clowns have heads too) and creates a second laugh by planting a comical image in our minds:
"What kind of freak clowns did you have at your birthday parties?"
Bull's eye.
Show-don't-tell is powerful no matter what kind of writing you're doing. Learn the skill well.
Then learn to take the humor past the obvious joke. Find out how far you can take it to create funny, fresh, and unexpected images.
It helps to read books, essays, and columns by some of the best funny men and women we have writing today. Also, watch comedians. Pay attention to how they craft their jokes, how the punch line flips the joke on its head and makes you laugh. Notice how jokes often come full circle later in the book/sketch/essay and take on new meaning the second time.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Guest Interview: Chuck Sambuchino
by Annette Lyon
I was thrilled to snag an interview with Chuck Sambuchino, part of the Writer's Digest family (a magazine I've been reading for over sixteen years).
Chuck is behind the Guide to Literary Agents blog and the editor of WD's annual directory of the same name.
He's also now the author of something new. In September, his new book hit shelves: How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack: Defend Yourself When the Lawn Warriors Attack (And They Will).
WOTW: In your experience with Guide to Literary Agents, what have you found to be some of the most common misconceptions about how to get an agent and/or what an agent does?
Chuck: One of the more common misconceptions is that you have to know somebody in the industry to get published. The truth is anyone anywhere can get published. All it takes is hard work, education and patience. As one agent once put it: “I will sign a guy living in a cave in the Ozarks if he can write.”WOTW: What are some common missteps writers often make that turn off agents or sour a writer/agent relationship?
WOTW: Many people describe the writer/agent relationship as courting and marriage, yet many writers are thrilled to get any agent. Why is the right agent for you more important than having any agent?
WOTW: You often remind readers that new agents are great opportunities. Elaborate on that: What benefits might a new agent have over an established one? What could be the downsides of having a new agent?
The downside of having a newer agent (again, this is common so but not guaranteed) is that they have less experience and connections than an experienced agent.
WOTW: What lessons from your blog did you use in seeking an agent and going through the publishing process?
WOTW: Describe your book and where the idea came from.
The idea for the book first came when thinking about The Full Monty (the 1997 movie). There is a scene with a garden gnome in there, and I started getting the heebie-jeebies during that scene because gnomes creep me out. Then it hit me that if garden gnomes creeped me out, certainly they creep other people, as well. I started writing some jokes and knew within an hour that there was a book there.
WOTW: How did you develop your pitch for Garden Gnomes?
WOTW: A regular feature on your blog has published authors listing seven things they've learned so far. As a writer yourself, name a couple of items that would make your list of things you've learned so far.
WOTW: What's next for you?
PEG: Many writers have quirks—rituals to find their zone, places to write, and so on. What's a writer quirk most people probably don't know about you?
Thanks, Chuck! Best of luck with your book!
Monday, January 12, 2009
My Writer's Butt
by Heather Moore
The difference between my appearance when I was an unpublished author vs. a published author is my rear-end. I know, it sounds silly, but it's true. Yes, it's been a slow upward and outward spiral, packing on a little here and a little there. It all started in 2006. Even though I'd been writing about a book a year since 2001, in 2006 I wrote 2 books. If you are one of the many writers out there who are juggling everything from career to family to multiple hobbies, you know that when you take the time to write something else has to go. For me, it's the hiney.
Am I eating more? Not necessarily. Am I lazy? No way. But the profession/hobby/dream I've chosen requires a lot of sitting time. I've tried to type while standing, jogging, or stretching. Nothing works. (okay, I haven't really tried any of those, but I'm a logical person and I can just picture what would happen if I did.)
In my crammed-pack life, I've let MYSELF go. I've stopped exercising. There are lots of excuses that I can come up with, the lamest being that I just don't have time to walk in the next room and get on the elliptical for 30 minutes.
No more. Since I refuse to diet or alter my chocolate-addition in any way, I've had to get serious about what to do . . . and how to do it . . . So the past three weeks I've made more of an effort to exercise than ever. And the effort has been a sacrifice. But I decided that this sacrifice will be worth it. It will clear my writer's mind, hopefully let more inspiration dawn, and increase my endorphine levels. Each morning, I drag my 4-year-old and myself out the door to the gym. There is a nifty 9:30 a.m. kid's fitness class there and I walk/run/stumble on the track for a whole hour. The entire process? About 2 hours.
My goal? To be a better ME so that I can be a better writer. With an exercise schedule in place, my writing time has just become all that more precious. And if it took an official writer's butt to finally motivate me, so be it.
The difference between my appearance when I was an unpublished author vs. a published author is my rear-end. I know, it sounds silly, but it's true. Yes, it's been a slow upward and outward spiral, packing on a little here and a little there. It all started in 2006. Even though I'd been writing about a book a year since 2001, in 2006 I wrote 2 books. If you are one of the many writers out there who are juggling everything from career to family to multiple hobbies, you know that when you take the time to write something else has to go. For me, it's the hiney.
Am I eating more? Not necessarily. Am I lazy? No way. But the profession/hobby/dream I've chosen requires a lot of sitting time. I've tried to type while standing, jogging, or stretching. Nothing works. (okay, I haven't really tried any of those, but I'm a logical person and I can just picture what would happen if I did.)
In my crammed-pack life, I've let MYSELF go. I've stopped exercising. There are lots of excuses that I can come up with, the lamest being that I just don't have time to walk in the next room and get on the elliptical for 30 minutes.
No more. Since I refuse to diet or alter my chocolate-addition in any way, I've had to get serious about what to do . . . and how to do it . . . So the past three weeks I've made more of an effort to exercise than ever. And the effort has been a sacrifice. But I decided that this sacrifice will be worth it. It will clear my writer's mind, hopefully let more inspiration dawn, and increase my endorphine levels. Each morning, I drag my 4-year-old and myself out the door to the gym. There is a nifty 9:30 a.m. kid's fitness class there and I walk/run/stumble on the track for a whole hour. The entire process? About 2 hours.
My goal? To be a better ME so that I can be a better writer. With an exercise schedule in place, my writing time has just become all that more precious. And if it took an official writer's butt to finally motivate me, so be it.
Friday, December 26, 2008
Survival Tips for the Parent Slash Writer
By Heather Moore
“How do you write novels with four kids?” I’ve been asked that question many times at book signings and author events. Sometimes I coyly answer, “When I wrote my first novel, I only had three kids.”
The truth is . . . I’ve only seen one entire episode of American Idol. None of Lost and only the first episode of 24, but now that the seasons are out on DVD, maybe I’ll try to watch a couple . . . at midnight . . . or not. My laundry takes three days to do, and then it’s time to start over again.
Dinner is, well . . . lacking on most days, but I wasn’t that great of a cook before I became so obsessed.
But really, I am lucky. I don’t have to write to earn money. So why do I write when my kids are ages four through fourteen? Why don’t I use my down time to relax and watch a favorite program or catch up on several years of scrapbooking, or even my ultimate desire—read a novel without worrying about research, editing, or my daily writing goal?
Well, because I breathe easier when I write. It rounds out my identity even when I’m writing this blog and have no idea if it will ever be read by another person. I reap joy and fulfillment . . . and incredible busyness so that by ten in the morning I am left literally breathless with all the things I want to accomplish.
One day at a time. That’s survival tip number one.
2. Laptop. When you can afford this luxury (or necessity, says I), invest in a laptop. You can sit on your couch or at your kitchen table and tap a few paragraphs here and there. At the same time you are keeping a watchful eye on your preschooler. (Note: when she starts to hit the computer screen, it’s time for a break.)
3. Wireless internet. Another luxury, but it makes the laptop all that more accessible when you want to check your email every so often, or every five minutes . . . just in case that NY agent is just dying to see the remainder of your manuscript and must have it within the hour.
4. Carpet Cleaner. What? Recently while I was in the shower (not writing, so there is no guilt associated with this mishap) my four year old dumped the orange juice onto the carpet. Now, I can wipe up a mess on the tile faster than the Bounty hunk, but carpet? That could take a good twenty minutes of blotting, rinsing, blotting, spraying, scrubbing, rinsing . . . A carpet cleaner, maybe five minutes. And it’s really clean. Did I mention I have a do-it-all-herself four year old?
5. Peanut M&M’s. Now I don’t recommend buying the five pound bags at Costco, but if you are trying to save shopping trips maybe it’s all right. Pick your poison, and you’ll be surprised at how a yummy treat can help to motivate you as you write. “If I keep writing, I get to keep snacking.” Or if you are concerned about the calories, don’t read the ingredients. Worse case scenario, pop some butter-free popcorn. I thought about dedicating my next book to Peanut M&M’s . . . I still might . . . Just remember to rotate your hiding place in case your spouse gets a hankering for them too.
Oh, I just thought of number six. A good friend. Even better—a good friend with kids who are similar ages to yours. You can pick a day or two during the week and switch. This gives the kids play time and when it’s your friend’s turn . . . sacred writing time . . .
I hope this helps at least one parent in his/her writing quest. As for me, I’m taking one day at a time and keeping a bag of Peanut M&M’s in my desk drawer.
“How do you write novels with four kids?” I’ve been asked that question many times at book signings and author events. Sometimes I coyly answer, “When I wrote my first novel, I only had three kids.”
The truth is . . . I’ve only seen one entire episode of American Idol. None of Lost and only the first episode of 24, but now that the seasons are out on DVD, maybe I’ll try to watch a couple . . . at midnight . . . or not. My laundry takes three days to do, and then it’s time to start over again.
Dinner is, well . . . lacking on most days, but I wasn’t that great of a cook before I became so obsessed.
But really, I am lucky. I don’t have to write to earn money. So why do I write when my kids are ages four through fourteen? Why don’t I use my down time to relax and watch a favorite program or catch up on several years of scrapbooking, or even my ultimate desire—read a novel without worrying about research, editing, or my daily writing goal?
Well, because I breathe easier when I write. It rounds out my identity even when I’m writing this blog and have no idea if it will ever be read by another person. I reap joy and fulfillment . . . and incredible busyness so that by ten in the morning I am left literally breathless with all the things I want to accomplish.
One day at a time. That’s survival tip number one.
2. Laptop. When you can afford this luxury (or necessity, says I), invest in a laptop. You can sit on your couch or at your kitchen table and tap a few paragraphs here and there. At the same time you are keeping a watchful eye on your preschooler. (Note: when she starts to hit the computer screen, it’s time for a break.)
3. Wireless internet. Another luxury, but it makes the laptop all that more accessible when you want to check your email every so often, or every five minutes . . . just in case that NY agent is just dying to see the remainder of your manuscript and must have it within the hour.
4. Carpet Cleaner. What? Recently while I was in the shower (not writing, so there is no guilt associated with this mishap) my four year old dumped the orange juice onto the carpet. Now, I can wipe up a mess on the tile faster than the Bounty hunk, but carpet? That could take a good twenty minutes of blotting, rinsing, blotting, spraying, scrubbing, rinsing . . . A carpet cleaner, maybe five minutes. And it’s really clean. Did I mention I have a do-it-all-herself four year old?
5. Peanut M&M’s. Now I don’t recommend buying the five pound bags at Costco, but if you are trying to save shopping trips maybe it’s all right. Pick your poison, and you’ll be surprised at how a yummy treat can help to motivate you as you write. “If I keep writing, I get to keep snacking.” Or if you are concerned about the calories, don’t read the ingredients. Worse case scenario, pop some butter-free popcorn. I thought about dedicating my next book to Peanut M&M’s . . . I still might . . . Just remember to rotate your hiding place in case your spouse gets a hankering for them too.
Oh, I just thought of number six. A good friend. Even better—a good friend with kids who are similar ages to yours. You can pick a day or two during the week and switch. This gives the kids play time and when it’s your friend’s turn . . . sacred writing time . . .
I hope this helps at least one parent in his/her writing quest. As for me, I’m taking one day at a time and keeping a bag of Peanut M&M’s in my desk drawer.
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