Natasha Rothwell Wants ‘How To Die Alone’ Fans to Fight Over Who Should Be With Mel: Alex or Terrance?

Writer, actress, and comedian Natasha Rothwell has waited a long time to share her passion project, Hulu and Onyx Collective’s How To Die Alone, with the world. Over eight years, to be exact, and it was well worth the wait. The multihyphenate talent, known and beloved for her work on The White Lotus, Insecure, and A Black Lady Sketch Show, finally gets to take center stage as Mel, a JFK employee who has long given up on her dreams of love and travel, only to narrowly survive a near-death experience. Mel’s close call gifts her a new lease on life and she soon embarks on a journey of self-discovery.

“I just knew when I allowed myself to be vulnerable enough to tell my story of loneliness through Mel, that it would resonate with someone,” Rothwell told Decider during an interview all the way back in February at Winter 2024 TCA. “I worked on other things in the meantime, but it was very clear to me that there’s something in there that was connecting to people and it was just going to be a matter of time.” 

How To Die Alone lets Natasha Rothwell show off the wide scope of her talents like never before. Sure, we knew she could pull on our heart strings or have us keeled over in a belly laugh, but as Mel, she gets to push herself like never before. Mel not only finds herself in many absurd scraps with enormous Big Apples and Swedish furniture, but she also is torn between two love interests: former flame/current boss Alex (Jocko Sims) and work friend (who clearly seems to want to be more than work friends) Terrance (KeiLyn Durrel Jones).

When Decider spoke to Rothwell earlier this year, we explored what it took to keep the faith in this project for so long, how Mel inspired (and challenged) Rothwell, and what the writer/creator/showrunner/star of How To Die Alone makes of the impending ‘ship wars sure to explode amongst the show’s fandom…

DECIDER: I know you mentioned during the panel this has been sort of in the works for like eight years. Can you take me behind the scenes? Just the process of holding on to a script, holding on to the hope, the belief, the faith that this is the story you want to tell?

NATASHA ROTHWELL: When I first got the opportunity to do a development deal over at HBO, it was as if they slid a blank paper in front of me, which was like, “What do you want to do?” So much of my work prior to that was executing other people’s dreams and vision, so I wanted to get it right. I worked so hard on the project, but the industry is the industry and timing is everything. I just knew when I allowed myself to be vulnerable enough to tell my story of loneliness through Mel, that it would resonate with someone. Even the meetings I took over the years trying to find the right showrunner, find directors and things like that, they responded so much to the things that I was the most afraid to show. It was just such wind at my back being like, “Don’t give up.” I worked on other things in the meantime, but it was very clear to me that there’s something in there that was connecting to people and it was just going to be a matter of time. 

And Onyx is the one that took the chance on this project. What about Onyx told you they were the right stewards for Mal’s journey? What has the production process been like with them?

I felt they really trusted me as a creator and a showrunner to execute the vision. It was a lot of leaping on their part in trusting me. I think that there are certain shows where you have the performer is a writer, is the showrunner, and it can be tricky to navigate. But I was just so focused when I went with them and was just very clear about what it is I wanted to do. I felt like they were definitely interested in seeing me realize what it is that I saw. Over the years, it was just trusting that I could cash the check that I wrote with my mouth. [Laughs]

Speaking of vulnerability this show really balances like good old fashioned jokes and these really dark, deep topics of mortality, of lost dreams. Was that intentional that you wanted to have the balance of the two? And what was the most challenging part of balancing that vulnerability and that hilarity? 

Well, I walk through the world as a Black woman and there are a lot of sort of assumptions about who I am and what I think and what I believe. And I take pride in the fact that I subvert expectations in my day to day. Oftentimes in this industry, as you know, they want to categorize something as “drama” or “comedy,” but life is a beautiful blend of both. Sometimes they happen in the same breath. You know, the inhale, you’re laughing, and the exhale, you’re crying. So I wanted to have a show that allowed someone who looks like me to have that level of humanity. I was just really proud of Onyx and ABC Signature and Hulu for allowing that to happen and making room for a show that is nuanced. Like you said, it’s a tightrope between levity and gravity. The show will have you in your feelings and then have you on the floor laughing. At the end of the day, ultimately, I hope they feel less lonely. 

I’ve always known that you were hilarious and brilliant. I didn’t know that you were a great stunt performer until I watched the pilot. You’ve got a rolling big apple, you’ve got a falling Ikea dresser. What was the stunt process like for you as a performer? 

It was interesting. I really wanted to do most things myself. Part of it’s because I’m just like a forever learner, like the student of life. So I just wanted to test and see what I was capable of. [Laughs] It’s in a later episode that I can’t tell you about, but I did this massive stunt. I wanted to show people that you can be plus size and jump from a cart and do your own falls and all of that. 

The cast. You’ve got Conrad Ricamora, who is a favorite of mine. You’ve got like a little group of friends you meet in the beginning, but they’re not really there for Mel. Was it intentional that you have these very charming friends who just somehow kind of sort of …suck?

[Laughs] Well, we all have those friends in our lives that show up in the way that we allow them to. I think Mel in many ways settles for less than she deserves because she doesn’t think she’s worthy of more. I think one of the tricky things about deciding to evolve and to shed old things and become your own hero in your own story is you change who you are to your friends. We wanted to show that in this series that positive change can also bring about uncomfortable conversations. So being able to populate the world with friends that are deep in her corner, that ride for her, and those ones that are like, “Oh, she has a backbone now. I don’t know if I like that.” As a recovering people pleaser, for me, it was important to show that she has the agency. 

You talked about the love triangle during the panel. You seem very giddy about it. You have a love triangle. What about both these actors told you that they had to be your Alex and Terrence? 

The only way I can describe it is they had a light inside of their eyes. I just reacted to them, like, “Oh!” It makes you sort of lean in. And they trusted sort of a grounded chemistry read and I remember leaving both chemistry reads and I was just like, “This is this is Alex and this is Terrence.” And really wanting to have an actual connection to them as humans, as fellow actors in this industry. They were so warm and affable. Like I said, there was just a light in their eyes that I was just like, “They get it.” 

Are you prepared for fans of the show to have very virulent ‘ship wars between the two of them? 

I think so. I mean, we had ‘ship wars in the writers room. It was very [divided between] Team Alex, Team Terrance. But I think the cool thing is that they’re both amazing options, you know? Maybe one, not so much, but we didn’t want to have one clear winner. We wanted it to feel like life. None of these men are so terrible or so good that they’ll fix her. Yeah, she has to be able to open up and fix herself. 

Eventually, I’m thinking of which you mentioned on the panel that you want people to go on a long term journey. How confident are you that Hulu and Onyx are there for the ride? How long could you see this series go? 

We haven’t had real discussions in terms of how many seasons or where we see the show ending, but I’m an Anglophile and I love that the British know when to stop something. So for me, I want to do it as long as it feels good and we feel like we’re doing justice to the character and it’s not sort of some sort of vanity play of just pushing it just because we can.

But I said this to Vera, my co-showrunner, after we wrapped; I said, “If this never sees the light of day, I’m sated.” Because I got to work with these amazing people, to have bits of this story affect them. The crew, my stand in, all of the people on set. So I’m grateful for that experience. So my therapist would be proud that I’m going to say this — [Laughs] — I’m going to try to stay present and not try to prophesy about what’s coming next. But I will live in Mel and live in How to Die Alone as long as I’m granted. 

This interview has been condensed and edited for clarity.

The first four episodes of How to Die Alone are now streaming on Hulu. New episodes premiere next Friday, September 20.