Britney Spears Was Nearly Cast In ‘The Notebook’ — But Says She Was “Glad” She Lost The Part To Rachel McAdams

Britney Spears is opening up about her toxic relationship with acting. In an excerpt from her upcoming memoir Woman in Me, she reveals that she was “glad” she lost out on the lead role in The Notebook to Rachel McAdams.

While looking back on her time filming Shonda Rhimes‘ 2002 coming-of-age film Crossroads, Spears writes that the “experience wasn’t easy” for her — or her mind. According to the singer, she had a difficult time differentiating herself from her character.

“I think I started Method acting — only I didn’t know how to break out of my character,” she says in the excerpt, per People. “I really became this other person. Some people do Method acting, but they’re usually aware of the fact that they’re doing it. But I didn’t have any separation at all.”

She continues, “I ended up walking differently, carrying myself differently, talking differently. I was someone else for months while I filmed Crossroads. Still to this day, I bet the girls I shot that movie with think, ‘She’s a little…quirky.’ If they thought that, they were right.”

Because of this, Spears says it was “pretty much the beginning and end” of her acting career. However, she was “relieved” — especially when she learned McAdams had been cast as Allie Hamilton in the 2004 Nicholas Sparks romance The Notebook.

“The Notebook casting came down to me and Rachel McAdams, and even though it would have been fun to reconnect with Ryan Gosling after our time on The Mickey Mouse Club, I’m glad I didn’t do it,” she admits. “If I had, instead of working on my album ‘In the Zone’ I’d have been acting like a 1940s heiress day and night.”

Spears then speculates that other actors in the industry have had “trouble separating themselves from a character.”

“I hope I never get close to that occupational hazard again,” she concludes. “Living that way, being half yourself and half a fictional character, is messed up. After a while, you don’t know what’s real anymore.”

The “Baby One More Time” singer’s acting career is one of many aspects of her life she touches on in her new book. In another bombshell excerpt obtained by People, Spears confesses to getting pregnant while dating ex-boyfriend Justin Timberlake. While reflecting on the “agonizing” experience, the musician claims she decided to have an abortion because Timberlake “didn’t want to be a father.”

“It was a surprise, but for me, it wasn’t a tragedy. I loved Justin so much. I always expected us to have a family together one day. This would just be much earlier than I’d anticipated,” Spears writes in the book. “But Justin definitely wasn’t happy about the pregnancy. He said we weren’t ready to have a baby in our lives, that we were way too young.”

A Woman Like Me officially drops Oct. 24.