Denise Richards Demolishes The Fourth Wall on ‘RHOBH’

Bravo, Bravo, f**king Bravo: the network has done it once again by airing this extraordinary episode of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. If you thought last week’s episode where Brandi Glanville claimed that she had sex with Denise Richards was explosive, wait until you see what happens when the whole group hears about it.

First of all, let’s please address the MVP of this episode and her hairline pearls, Dorit Kemsley, who, via the Italian fashion and Italian language, was getting her whole life. She can order a vodka soda in whatever language she wants to and I’m here for it.

I’m less here for the flimsiest “excuse” for a girls’ trip in Housewives history, that the jaunt to Rome is simply because Erika will be away in New York City on Broadway soon. Please, Rome is simply for a multiple-episode journey of drama. Of course, Teddi was feeling that drama inside herself already, considering she had so much anxiety she couldn’t even make eye contact with Denise, let alone have a conversation.

So the ladies parade down to the hotel restaurant for dinner on their second night in Italy, and after Sutton confronts Garcelle about inquiring about her finances, Garcelle handles the interaction like a boss, with honesty and an apology, and then asking the table, “So have we gotten all our issues…” Cue Teddi!

“I need to kind of say something because I’m awkward and breathing heavy and all these things,” she announces before saying, “Denise, somebody told me some terrible things that you said about me.” Denise appears clueless as Teddi recounts the rumors of her being “pathetic and tired of living in her dad’s shadow” which Denise goes on to deny. She also denies speaking to Brandi before or after Kyle’s party and simply states, in the best interview lewk of the season no less, “Brandi Glanville’s your source?” with an eye roll. She maintains that she’s “hardly talked to” Brandi and that this was all new information, but Dorit is already #TeamDenise after, upon meeting her for the first time, Brandi told Dorit that her “tits were fucked up.”

“Clearly she ain’t credible because they are perfect,” Dorit states with a light touch of her chest, where her MVP medal should be hanging proudly.

A clip from BravoCon (perhaps the only one that has appeared on the network since the November 2019 NYC event) which took place just days before the ladies flew to Rome, is shown where Denise says of Brandi, “I am friendly with her, yeah. I think she’s a lot of fun. I love that she’s a straight-shooter. She doesn’t have much of a filter but I appreciate that.” Is it something to be said about someone you’ve previously slept with or simply a polite thing to say about someone adjacent to the Bravo family?

Back at the dinner, Denise goes on to deny that she said harsh words about Erika, and Dorit, the most vocal supporter of Denise at the table, asks, “Is it possible that she made it up?” about Brandi’s sex rumors.

“She’s very upset,” Teddi relays, dancing around the why for an awfully long time, only referencing, “because of what happened with you guys when she came to see you at the podcast.” Denise maintains that she “never said anything negative about anyone,” but Lisa Rinna offers in her interview, “The Denise that I knew before was open, honest, funny. The Denise I’m seeing now is much more concerned about her image being right and being perfect.” To support this claim, the show only flashes to…scenes where Denise continues to defend the fact that she’d prefer the women not talk about threesomes in the presence of her kids. Is that not an image…most moms/women would want?

But Rinna also wisely admits that she won’t be the one to tell Denise about the rumors saying, “I’m gonna give you one word: Munchausen,” referring to the drama with Yolanda Hadid several seasons ago on the show. “I’m not taking that bait this time. I paid dearly for that and I learned my lesson.”

So while everyone just claims “it’s really bad, Denise” but won’t tell her what the heck Brandi actually said, Denise says, “If this is a dangerous area, then not on camera.”

“But it’s already on camera,” Teddi lets her know. “Denise, I’m not gonna torture you any longer. She said you two had sex.” Denise gives a “What?!” a little laugh, and denies it twice, telling the table, “I’m going through so much stuff, it has nothing to do with any of us, it has nothing to do with the show, and Bravo, Bravo, Bravo,” while waving her hands in the air and looking directly at the camera. For those unaware, this is supposedly the ladies’ way of ensuring a moment doesn’t end up on the show because it breaks the fourth wall to acknowledge they…are aware of the network they’re on. But Dorit tells her, “Honey, you have to stop saying that.”

“I don’t want to be the person that leaves. I’m floored by this information,” Denise says to the group, and with her hands over her mouth, Dorit tells her, “So have a moment and say something,” perhaps the most the fourth wall has ever disappeared on this network, as we’re currently watching the women edit themselves in real-time.

“Please do not air this. Please,” Denise pleads.

“One of the most frustrating things about Denise is she is so concerned about her image that every single time we talk about something she doesn’t want to talk about, she’s gonna “Bravo, Bravo, Bravo,” so she can get an edit that she wants,” Teddi says. The show then flashes back to a tense dinner conversation between Denise and Kyle earlier this season, the infamous “Bravo, Bravo, f**king Bravo” moment that was teased in the trailer but never shown when the scene took place and…that’s the only example they have. At least, no more instances are shown. So does she really do this all the time? Denise asks for executive producer Christopher Cullen but no one from the production team appears on-screen.

But Teddi continues in her interview, “The fact that Denise is yelling at the cameras and the crew because she’s going through all of these personal issues is actually exactly what she signed up to do, to talk about what’s going on in her life.”

Ever the lawyer’s wife, Erika advises her, “Honey, you gotta straighten this shit out with Brandi.” But Denise assures her, “It’s the least of my worries dealing with what I’m dealing with.” She also says very sternly to the women, “I’m a very married woman and I love my husband to death,” while Erika tells her, “You don’t have to explain yourself.”

“All I know is anything I have felt I have said,” Denise says with tears in her eyes. Of course Kyle can’t wait to respond with a, “I don’t think that’s true,” but before that conversation can continue, a new one blossoms just down the table.

“Do you care more about what’s been said or do you care more about what’s being said about Denise?” Sutton questions Teddi, wondering if she cares about the sex gossip or that someone maybe talked about her behind her back. Sutton then drops the bomb in her interview (in a gorgeous white blazer, even) that, “A few months before, a friend of mine had said to me that Denise had slept with Brandi. Why would I bring up a rumor about who slept with who, and especially at the dinner table?” She goes on to tell Teddi that she “brought a personal part into this that you didn’t need to,” and says again in her interview (same white blazer!), “I think Teddi is saying this because she got her feelings hurt.”

But before Teddi, who has been experiencing “No sleeping, so much f**king anxiety,” and Sutton can pop off anymore, a new argument arises between Dorit and Kyle, who yet again cuts off her friend mid-sentence. Don’t worry, you’re not the only one feeling dizzy. The dinner begins to disperse and Rinna tells Denise, “I think you need to talk to Brandi,” but Denise is quick to tell her, “I don’t want to do this right here.”

“Denise, they’re not gonna cut it,” Dorit tells her friend, but Denise states confidently, “No, if they ever want me to be on this show they need to cut that.”

But in the preview for next week’s episode, the ladies are still gallivanting around Italy and taking in as much gossip as they are cultural landmarks. “I’m gonna be super honest, Brandi said, ‘I want to let you know things the group was saying’ behind my back,” Denise is seen telling Rinna. She also announces at a group dinner, “I will tell you, Brandi said that she has had sex with some of the people from this group,” and everyone seemingly turns to look at…Lisa Rinna?!? What is even going on now.

But really, what is going on? What is the goal here, exactly? To embarrass Denise? For Brandi to be relevant? To mine for a little bit of sexy, scandalous gossip? You’re either #TeamDenise or #TeamBrandi and whether they actually slept together or not doesn’t seem to matter at all. If they did have sex, great, I hope it was enjoyable for all involved. If they didn’t, that’s cool too, they both probably got laid by other people the next night and congrats to them for that. The argument boils down to: do you believe Denise or do you believe Brandi? And, even if Brandi is right about the bitchy gossip she’s spreading, does Erika care if she’s being called a cold bitch or if Teddi’s being called pathetic? It wouldn’t be the first time (nor the last) they’ve heard those criticisms, as they likely do on a daily basis (and I’d imagine this episode increases it exponentially for both!).

So ultimately, this is just a group that is mad because, as they claim, Denise cares too much about her image. They realize this is the most extreme version of the pot calling the kettle black, right? It’s hypocrisy to the max for a group of rich women from Beverly Hills to say, oh, this lady cares too much about her image. What? Is it jealousy after Denise’s blockbuster first season on the show? Is it because her own outspokenness about sex, only when children weren’t within earshot, made most of them look prude and so now they are reveling in the fact that she looks the extreme opposite of prude? They are so careful not to “slut-shame” and tell her they don’t care if she did have sex with Brandi but like…then why DO they care? I understand they don’t want to feel like they are sharing vulnerable parts of their lives and Denise is avoiding doing the same. Sure, that imbalance would be frustrating. But we as viewers are not experiencing that imbalance this season. Maybe stop accusing Denise of being withholding when we are all puzzled as to what this group is actually mad about.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills airs Wednesday at 9pm ET/PT on Bravo. 

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