‘Chilling Adventures Of Sabrina’ Chapter 20 Recap: The End

The end begins at the beginning: We’re treated to an Evil Wardwell origin story and discover that she’s actually Lilith, the first woman and, as she says, the first witch. We’re treated to her nursing Lucifer, who it must be noted is extremely handsome, save for the goat legs and open wounds where his wings were ripped out, back to health. She’s his handmaiden, and assumes that someday, she’ll be his queen.

In the present day, Actual Goat Satan emerges from the fog in Greendale, except now he’s Satan McHottie. Ruh-roh.

Sabrina has had the scales fall from her glowing white eyes and, now mortal, must figure out how to take down the Dark Lord and save the actual world. She tries to explain to her family, and Zelda’s not so on board until Sabrina mentions that she thinks Satan wants to make her his child bride. “Over my dead body. You’re too young!” The Scoobies blow in and join the crusade after making sure Sabrina’s not the Mandrake: “Oh, no, that was someone else.” ‘Nuff said. They get the download, to which Theo reacts with a succinct “shit,” then they volunteer to find the gates of hell, and if they can, keep them closed. Nick is told to stick to the shadows and he, uh, maybe takes that too literally, as we’ll see.

Wardwell is disillusioned of all those queen ideas when Satan McHottie saunters into Dorian’s wearing nothing but a loincloth and dat ass and informs her she’ll be playing a supporting role in the evil revolution, leading the armies of hell. Prudence is interrupted in a plot to kill Blackwood with the most sinister version of Ring Around The Rosie when evil’s first fam is also summoned to the bar to hail Satan. Satan, who has found a shirt by now, informs Blackwood that not only will Evil Hogwarts host Sabrina’s coronation, he’ll have to bow to her as well. That’s a no-go for Blackwood, who consents through a cringe and then immediately secretly poisons the entire church and tells Prudence to pack up, they’re leaving. Horrified, she manages to flee and get Ambrose and Hilda to help her transport and save the poisoned parishioners, including her beloved Fentys, while Blackwood flees with the twins. See you in season 3, a-hole!

Down in the mines, Roz uses the cunning to locate the mines, then again to try and figure out what their whole deal is. She sees a stream of sigils, which the gang theorizes could maybe keep the gates locked? Harvey, who happened to grab a sketchpad along with his rifle on the way out the door, gets the download from Roz via a laying-on-of-hands, then starts frantically drawing them. Their only plan if this doesn’t work? Run like hell. The great news is, it works! Until it doesn’t, and Theo gets grabbed from behind by demon hands. They throw down one more sigil, and that does the trick. The demons are at bay…for now.

As for our heroine, Evil Wardwell crosses the oniony barrier the Spellmans have drawn around the house to summon Sabrina to the Dark Lord’s side. Told that she’s Lilith, Sabrina finally pieces together that she isn’t the real Ms. Wardwell and is appalled. “She was my favorite teacher!” Never mind that, Sabrina reluctantly goes with Wardwell to meet Satan and gets the biz on why she’s been serving him all this time: It’s her job, man. It’s all she’s ever known. Now, however, it seems pretty clear that she won’t be getting that crown.

When Sabrina sits down at a food-strewn table with the Dark Lord, she brattily suggests Lilith as his queen. Sabrina’s unavailable: “Sorry, I have school.” Wardwell is touched, lurking in the shadows. Satan’s like sure, yeah, no, I’ve made sure you’ve been walking the Path of Night since your baptism, “isn’t that right…NICHOLAS?” Oh, SNAP. Nick, looking sad, comes out of the shadows and says he liked her even before the Dark Lord told him to, swear! This revelation becomes old news when Satan’s like k, enough, guess who’s your dad?! It’s me! He tells her that at sundown, she’ll have to blow Gabriel’s horn to unleash the demons.

At home, Hilda admits that she knew Sabrina’s parents had trouble getting pregnant and had gone to the Dark Lord for help. Diana, her mother, admitted that she wasn’t sure the baby was Edwards. Sabrina decides that she doesn’t care and gets in an amazing, “I say, not today, Satan,” before Wardwell rolls in to spoil the moment and announce that she’s going to help them beat the Dark Lord. Why? Not because her destiny is not yet finished, more like she’s pissed that she worked hard for the throne and crown, and thinks it’s about time they’re hers. Best of all, she knows Satan’s weak spots and she’s willing to share. Bingo.

In the woods, Sabrina flatters Satan McHandsome, who’s wearing a kind of iridescent olive green smoking jacket. All’s going well and she manages to pin his lil cloven footie to the ground, but when Ambrose and the aunts jump out to attack the wing-wounds that never healed, she overpowers them, magically holding their own daggers at their throats until Sabrina blows the horn, riling up the demons behind the gates. Next stop: coronation.

Back at home, Sabrina’s frantic, paging through her father’s journals for inspiration. Nick shows up and, despite Sabrina being — is “pissed as hell” the right terminology here? — at him, she puts him to work on the Achyron Configuration she broke last season, hoping it would entrap the demoniest demon of them all. Sabrina has a plan, and she lets Wardwell and the Scoobies in on it.

The plan is…a musical number! Sabrina, in a hilarious golden gown, comes in and sings “Masquerade,” from Phantom of the Opera, as hell’s finest pour in behind her wearing their own masks. Oh, and Prudence, the Scoobies, all the Spellmans and Nick, of course. Sabrina’s crowned with a hilarious tiara of finger bones and sits on a throne made of skulls. It’s…insane.

To wrap up the festivities, Satan and Sabrina will waltz. He’s distracted by the spectacle, leaving room for the crowd to softly chant together and then for Ambrose to throw the Achyron Configuration, trapping Satan in a poof of red smoke. Hooray! But not quite. It’s like when you pick at a zit and it only makes it stronger, angrier: Lucifer’s back and he is pissed. While he’s temporarily held by Wardwell, it’s decided that the strongest prison is a human body. And who has a human body and is great at magic and also feels really really bad right now? Nick, duh.

Nick professes his love to Sabrina, then manages to entrap Satan in his body and falls to the floor in an enchanted sleep.

And now the safest place for him is Hell, which is exactly where Evil Wardwell is headed. Down in the mines, Harvey carries Nick like he’s just a little pocket pal, and Sabrina passes the bone crown to Wardwell. As the newly self-crowned queen of hell, she has two gifts for Sabrina. First, she restores all of Sabrina’s witch abilities. The second, well…she’ll figure out what it is soon enough. Harvey hands over Nick and Wardwell walks with him through the gates. Once they’re sealed, Sabrina weeps against them.

We end where we started this show all the way back in Chapter 1: Dr. Cerberus’ with the Scoobies. Ambrose and Prudence have headed off on a mission to kill Father Blackwell, Zelda has named herself High Priestess of the decimated Church of Night, and Sabrina is a swingin’ single witch once more. As they discuss what’ll happen next — Harvey suggests they fight evil and call themselves the Fright Club and I claw my own eyes out and turn my organs inside out — loafers shuffle ominously through the door. It’s Ms. Wardwell — the real one! She remembers nothing after seeing Night of the Living Dead. This is Evil Wardwell’s second gift, evidently.

As for the Fright Club (no, nope, no, sticking with the Scoobies) Scoobies, they’re all in on Sabrina’s plan, even though it might get them killed: “Let’s go to Hell and get my boyfriend back!”

See you in Hell, everyone!

Kase Wickman is a writer, editor, Ravenclaw and certified fraidy-cat who lives in New Jersey. If she had powers, she’d never have to wash off mascara again. Follow her on Twitter and Instagram, if you dare.

Stream Chilling Adventures of Sabrina: Chapter 20 on Netflix