Queue And A

12 Random Questions With Katie Maloney-Schwartz And Tom Schwartz Of ‘Vanderpump Rules’

By Lea Palmieri @littleleap
Published Feb. 12, 2018, 9:30 a.m. ET

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After last week’s episode of Vanderpump Rules, I had a lot of questions. The triplets! The ridiculous body shaming! Jax, er, Jason! Luckily, Katie Maloney-Schwartz and Tom Schwartz were in town, so I joined them for lunch the day after the eventful ep aired to dish on this season of the show and so much more. Here, in varying degrees of randomness, are the highlights of our conversation.

HOW STRESSFUL IS THIS SEASON COMPARED TO OTHERS?

This season has so far included the revelation that Tom maybe or maybe not made out with a friend of Lala’s when he was incredibly drunk. Surely not a fun piece of info for Katie, but as viewers, we’ve also gotten that incredible moment of Tom sticking up for his wife and calling Scheana as fake as a Kardashian (“Look at your nails, you’re the fakest person in this whole building!”), a move he perhaps mildly regrets. But overall, the two are feeling much more positive and relaxed, especially after last season which included the wedding extravaganza — you now, the one with dollar amounts that Tom still hasn’t quite gotten over.

KATIE: One hundred percent less stressful. Last season was really hard. We were going through a lot in our relationship, but also planning a wedding on top of that.

TOM: You know it’s a lot of work in theory, but going through it…Still, being a part of it, it was well worth it. It was probably one of the best nights of our lives. But it’s a lot. Holy shit, it’s a lot.

KATIE: I was fine doing it all.

TOM: She knew exactly what she wanted.

KATIE: We were on the same page about things, so I was like I’ll handle everything. He wanted to cut as many corners as possible and I’m like, it’s our wedding.

TOM: I’m a little salty about how much money…

DECIDER: Still?

TOM: Just a little.

DECIDER: But it looked so beautiful.

TOM: It was worth every penny, but if I think about it…

HOW ARE YOU FEELING ABOUT THE LAST EPISODE?

Lisa Vanderpump’s friend, Kevin Lee, asked Katie about her weight in a remark that was as rude as it was unnecessary during the last episode. Katie teared up, as any woman who didn’t immediately resort to violence would, and we got her thoughts on how it all went down, as well as the big reveal that she had been in a terrible accident and fell through a skylight over 8 years ago.

KATIE: Yeah, [it] was heavy. I shared obviously a big part of my life, of what has made me the person I am, and gave some context to the person I am, maybe to people who didn’t have an understanding of me to have a greater understanding. Then there was the stuff with Kevin Lee, but that was just an asshole thing to say. I was coming off not being in the best place in my life and not feeling great about my body and not loving myself the way I needed to and I had finally gotten to a place of feeling confident and feeling good and feeling healthy, you know…self love. Him saying that did put a little damper on me, and Lisa immediately lifted me back up. But it was a little hard to hear those things said to your face. To hear that stuff on social media and people commenting about my weight, it sucks. But it’s putting a face and a voice to it…it’s a little hard.

TOM: Yeah, it was a big moment for her being able to look on what happened with her in the accident. Up until that point, you never really thought about the lasting impact it might have had emotionally. That was when we first started dating.

KATIE: I felt it change me. And it changed me in a lot of positive ways, but also there were some other parts I couldn’t quite get my head around and I just didn’t feel like myself for a long time. It was hard working through that on my own, maintaining a positive body image, a healthy body image in my mind. But I’m happier today, so that’s all that matters.

TOM: I’ve been reading a lot about it. It’s a really common side effect after a traumatic brain incident, your personality can change slightly. Sometimes drastically, but a little shorter tempered, your fuse gets short.

KATIE: I’ve always been open to talking and sharing it if it comes up in conversation or if it’s relevant. It’s not something that had been really addressed or talked about in any kind of great detail on the show. I was happy to because I think it’s something important for people to know about me and that this is something people have to deal with when they’ve gone through these traumatic times in their lives, and it’s not easy and it can be scary, but it doesn’t have to all be bad.

I LIKE THAT YOU SHARED ABOUT HAVING FAKE TEETH  

Okay, more of a statement than a question, but as a fellow fake tooth-haver, it’s always fun (even if the incident wasn’t quite so fun) to learn when another person is rocking an implant.

TOM: When we first started dating, she had a temporary one and when she would sleep, she would flick it all night. We called it the flipper. It was so weird seeing her do it in her sleep.

KATIE: It was like my party trick. [Now] I have a titanium plate. I’m like a bionic woman. It’s lightweight, but it’s very strong.

IS SHE FEELING LIKE CHAMOMILE KATIE?

Tom remarked in the previous episode that his wife has transformed from Tequila Katie to Chamomile Katie. Is she feeling that too?

KATIE: Yeah, I think in the last year I did a lot of introspective work and just wanted to feel myself again, feel healthy, feel confident — you know, worked out at the gym, wanted to be a better wife for him, be a better friend to my friends. Just be the person I really knew I was and get back to that.

TOM: You got hold of your emotions in the past year. She used to fully give herself over. Which we all blow up sometimes and we go crazy. But they would last days, sometimes weeks. You’ve gotten control over it.

KATIE: Well when you don’t have a good relationship with yourself, it’s hard to have a good one with anyone and have perspective. I always assume my feelings to be the truth and my truths and that’s not the case. It’s okay to feel things and we can talk about it. That’s okay. It was time for me to stop feeling bad about myself or stop being angry and feeling guilty and all of that and just take it into my own hands and make some changes.

ARE YOU CALLING JAX JASON NOW?

During his reiki/expensive hugging session, Jax revealed that he now wants to be called his real name, Jason. Has that caught on with his friends?

KATIE: No.

TOM: Some people he grew up with are like, “I’m never calling him Jax. Fuck off.” I can’t call him Jason.

KATIE: The only time we’ll ever call him Jason is if his mom has been around. Because she doesn’t call him Jax. But I think sometimes when Kristen would get upset with him, rather than “Jax,” she’d be like, “Jason Cauchi.”

TOM: We’re growing as a group. Jax is like a pothead now. Not actually, but he’s reeled it so far back. He never goes out, he has been staying at home. He loves DIY projects. He loves his couch, his pillows, and his wall. He gets so excited about it. I mean, he was due for that. He’s been on the go, painting the town red since he was like 20. Miami, Chicago, New York. I think he’s ready to settle now.

SHOULD THE TRIPLETS GET A SPINOFF SHOW?

After a delightfully emotional surprise appearance at their wedding, Tom and Katie hosted his triplet brothers in their LA apartment in this episode, complete with a wardrobe and grooming makeover — much to the viewers’ enjoyment.

TOM: Yeah, they need their own show. I would watch that. I would never miss an episode of that. They’re The Three Stooges together. It’s such an interesting dynamic. I don’t know if you’ve ever been around triplets, but it’s different than just being a brother. It’s specific because you kind of grow up as a unit. It’s easy to lose your identity, especially when you’re younger. Because for so long I would just say “the boys.” I’m taking the boys, I got the boys a present. But in the past ten years I’ve made more of an effort to treat them like individuals. I worry about them because I don’t think they’re happy about where they are in life. They’re ready to get out and spread their wings. And they have so much potential, but sometimes people just need that extra nudge, you know? I’ve been in many ruts in my life.

KATIE: But they’re always so positive. Whenever we’re around them, they’re always like, “How are you, how are things, you look great…” They’re just so sweet.

TOM: They’re not cynical at all. I mean, sometimes it’s fun to be cynical. But they don’t have a cynical bone in their body. I just want the best for them. Oh man, I love them so much. I’m so fond of them.

KATIE: It’s so funny when they’re around…

TOM: They bust each other’s balls and they know each other’s quirks, like you can imagine.

KATIE: They tease each other all the time. We call Bert, Burtel because he’s so slow. I’ve never seen someone take so long to finish their dinner.

TOM: He goes to the bathroom like three times. He’s a slow eater.

KATIE: Is it Brandon that likes to paparazzi?

TOM: He has this weird quirk when we go out, I’ll be like “We’re all friends” and he’ll secretly be going like this [pretends to sneak pictures with his phone]…like why don’t you just ask to take a picture?

KATIE: They’re characters, it’s hilarious.

TOM: Billy’s more kind of the rugged…

KATIE: He’s more of the brooding type.

TOM: Yeah, Billy’s more quiet, more brooding. They have such interesting personalities. They’re very unique. Their dynamic’s hilarious. They’ve got such good hearts.

KATIE: And they love him so much.

TOM: Yeah, I love my brothers. I care so much about them. It’s so easy for me to cry about them. My dad and my mom, too. I don’t get to see them enough.

WHATS THE DEAL WITH WESLEY?

We’ve only gotten glimpses of sexy SUR bartender Wesley this season, so what’s really going on with the guy?

https://www.instagram.com/p/BUChXdEgNmy/?taken-by=realwesleyjohnson

TOM: Oh yeah, oh I see it.

KATIE: He’s super nice. He worked at Villa Blanca for a while. I don’t know how long. And now he’s at SUR. He’s a really sweet dude, he’s got a girlfriend.

TOM: We need more Wesley. I really like him.

WHERE’D THE FRIENDS FRAME COME FROM? 

Social media users love pointing out the fact that Katie and Tom (and Jax and Brittany) have the same frame on their door as Monica did on Friends. Here’s how it ended up on the Vanderpump Rules cast members’ doors — and a few of their favorite episodes of the sitcom.

TOM: I got it on Amazon, I think. I always wanted one and it took me awhile to find it. I got Jax one for Christmas. I forget it’s there and I’m like, “Oh yeah!” It’s cool, it’s a nice touch. We like falling asleep to Friends. It’s like a great background, it’s so comforting.

DECIDER: What’s your favorite one?

TOM: Episode? Whoa. I really like the one where Denise Richards comes. And the “My sandwich” episode.

KATIE: Yeah, the one where Rachel is wasted in Vegas. That’s a good one.

HOW ABOUT THAT TACO BELL SWEATSHIRT? 

Oh the comments on Jax’s wardrobe choice at the beginning of the season. Viewers were loving his Taco Bell sweatshirt — that originally belonged to Katie. But the restaurant recently gifted them with something much more fabulous than a silly sweatshirt.

KATIE: Jax has since got his own. But that was my sweater and it was gone for so long and then eventually after he got his own and he was like “Oh yeah, your Taco Bell sweater is at my house.” I was like, “Thanks.” I mean, we’re Taco Bell lovers. I had a Taco Bell tower at my bridal shower.

TOM: She has rekindled my love for Taco Bell. We fell off for a while but now we’re back on.

KATIE: Taco Bell has a Friendsgiving at their headquarters, and they had all of their scientists in their kitchen and they prepared a whole Thanksgiving meal that was using some Taco Bell ingredients, like the Mountain Dew Baja Blast. They had that, they reduced it down to this honey glaze.

TOM: Are you talking about Taco Bell Thanksgiving? Don’t even get me started, it was so delicious.

KATIE: It was so cool.

DECIDER: Have you been to the one in Vegas?

KATIE: That’s where we got the sweaters.

SO YOU DO HAVE CODE WORDS?

After speculation started brewing that a blowup between Lala and James over pasta was not actually about pasta, but that the word “pasta” could be a code word for cocaine (the last has since denied this), we learned that they’re throwing code words around on the show. I gave it my best to figure them out.

KATIE: Yeah, we do.

DECIDER: Can you tell me what one is?

KATIE: I can’t.

DECIDER: Or tell me what you have code words for but don’t tell me what the code word is.

KATIE: We can’t.

TOM: We used to have code words.

KATIE: The first one, I remember, you know how the Kardashians have “Bible,” we had one like that where it’s like “I’m being serious” and it was Vanilla Latte. That was like in the beginning and I don’t even know if that ever happened.

TOM: There was one time when we first started dating, it was very early, I was still living with Sandoval, and she wrote on my mirror “Do me” but she didn’t leave a space, so it looked like “Dome.” That was our word for when we wanted to have sex, “dome.” Like, “Dome, yeah?”

HOW IS GIGGY DOING?

Lisa Vanderpump’s beloved pup Giggy wasn’t looking his best at the party last week, so we just needed a small update on his health.

TOM: Yeah, he had a health scare recently. It sounds so posh, he was in Aspen. He got altitude sickness. It was serious.

KATIE: They had to charter a low-flying plane and have an oxygen chamber for him. He’s okay.

WHAT LIFE LESSONS HAVE YOU LEARNED FROM LISA AND KEN? 

And since we’re all in search of what Lisa and her husband Ken when it comes to love and success, I asked Katie and Tom for any nuggets of wisdom us mere mortals can cling to and live by.

KATIE: [They] always told us to love each other. And he’s [Tom] learning this, in public you support me and in private we can talk about it.

TOM: She used to make it really hard for me to support her, in my defense.

KATIE: I’ll agree with that. I had some indefensible behavior at times and I take responsibility. And now we’re learning together and growing together.

TOM: And we rise together. Sometimes. And we inevitably fall back down.

And that’s what keeps us watching Vanderpump Rules, every Monday night at 9pm ET/PT on Bravo.

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