Fun
Frisky
Nostalgic
Intense
Adventurous
Choked Up
Curious
Romantic
Weird
I don’t believe in much, but I wholeheartedly believe in the transcendent beauty captured in the snapshot of early-aughts pop culture ephemera titled “WB Promo 2000.”
First brought to my attention by fellow WB historian LaToya Ferguson, this musical ad starring myriad stars from the halcyon days of the broody, angst-ridden era of Dawson’s Creek, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and Felicity is nostalgia personified. Scored to the classic tune “Oh, What a Night,” this melodic crystallization of early-aughts teen television is 163 seconds of nonsensical bliss. The premise of the video features a bevy of your favorite WB stars dancing with one another to promote… I’m not exactly sure. Network unity? The unbridled joy of being alive? Leather pants?
The promo possesses a lively, crackling gusto that exudes a very sexy “contractually obligated to be here” vibe. It’s as if the director wrote the words “razzmatazz” and “shenanigans” on a dry erase board, slowly petted a cat as if he or she were a cartoon supervillain, and whispered “You’ve done it again” to an empty room.
First, watch the above video. Second, breathe. Just breathe. Third, join me as we take a nostalgic stroll down teen drama boulevard with these 10 observations from “WB Promo 2000.”
James Van Der Beek Is Fascinated By Bubbles
Like all sensible adults, Michelle Williams and James Van Der Beek, two grownups, are playing with bubbles at a nightclub, and the Beek is CAPTIVATED. If his direction was “Act like you’ve never seen a bubble before” James Van Der Beek is the greatest actor of this or any generation.
Look at that restraint. Young Beek yearns to pop one of those majestic beauties, but he demurs because he’s a gd pro. Would a lesser man have popped that bubble in a fit of folly? Sure. Because playing with bubbles on a WB commercial would have been the opportunity of their life, but James Van Der Beek don’t want your life!
Free Tip For Time Travelers:
Do NOT leave your date alone with early-aughts David “why are you acting like a sexy hypnotist?” Boreanaz.
Scott Foley And Joshua Jackson: The Tragic Tale Of A Failed Bromance
Scott Foley: Hey, Josh! It’s me! Scott. Scott Foley. I haven’t seen you since…
Joshua Jackson: Nah.
*whisks Amy Jo Johnson off her feet while Foley’s facial expression turns to “Wait, are we really introducing time travel to Felicity?” levels of despair.
Why?
Director: Hey, future star of Cruel Intentions 3 Kerr Smith. Do something all the cool kids are doing!
Kerr Smith: I’m 28.
Director: You could slide down that ladder? Ladder’s are “groovy,” right?
Kerr Smith: I don’t know if…
Director: Nobody and I mean NOBODY leaves the shoot until we get that sweet, sweet Kerr Smith/ladder shot. Hey, cast of Popular. SIT. DOWN.
Here's Academy Award-Nominee Michelle Williams And Teen Choice Awards-Winner James Van Der Beek Playing Dominoes
Nothing says “sexy, hip stars of tomorrow” better than a rousing game of nightclub dominos!
Gotta love a friendship-spurned Scott Foley attempting to make Joshua Jackson jealous by watching dominoes with Pacey’s former on-screen girlfriend Andie McPhee.
Nicholas Brendon Is The Life Of The Party
Nobody, and I mean nobody, pulls off the “Indiana Jones of seltzer water” look better than Nicholas Brendon! Also, you just know Van Der Beek is like, “Guys! Cut it out! I’m trying to learn my lines for Rules of Attraction.
The Katie Holmes And Jamie Foxx Of It All
The amount of celebrity star power in this video is staggering.
While Keri Russell and Sarah Michelle Gellar make brief appearances, Katie Holmes and Jamie Foxx are prominently displayed throughout. Even though Holmes and Foxx never appear together — Holmes is too busy grooving with Leslie Bibb while Oscar-winner Jamie Foxx dances ALONE on top of the bar — the two more than likely met during filming. And now they’re dating. “Oh what a night” indeed.
What's A WB Promo Without A Little Sexual Tension?
If you’re a fan of early-2000s WB erotic fan fiction, this promo is your super sexy Citizen Kane!
I mean, of course these two are making eyes at each other. Shannen Doherty was probably like, “I hate bubbles, and I’d drop dead before dancing with the cast of Roswell. The only way I’ll appear in this promo is if I can eye f*ck Angel.”
Also, as first spotted by WB maven LaToya Ferguson, it appears as if Boreanaz mouths “this is bullshit” to Doherty at the 1:21-1:22 mark, which is a classic bad boy move.
So many of our favorite teen drama stars potentially boned during the filming of this promo: Angel and Prue! Phoebe from Charmed and Max from Roswell (1:58)! Pacey and Julie (Felicity)!
Hey, Kate Bosworth And The Rest Of The Cast Of 'Young Americans': Go Pretend Like You're Having Fun In A Separate Room, Away From All The Cool Shows
Sorry, gang. Glorified Coca-Cola commercials impersonating teen dramas are relegated to arm wrestling in extras holding.
Nicholas Brendon Snaps A Pic With Kerr Smith, Alyssa Milano, Jason Behr, Beverley Mitchell, And Katherine Heigl
Or as I refer to them: The first five people I’ll request to meet in heaven.
No words can truly provide this moment with the proper amount of reverence it deserves, so here are the lyrics to Louis Armstrong’s “What a Wonderful World.”
“The colors of the rainbow so pretty in the sky. Are also on the faces of people going by.
I see friends shaking hands saying how do you do. They’re really saying I love you.
I hear babies crying. I watch them grow. They’ll learn much more than I’ll never know.
And I think to myself what a wonderful world. Yes I think to myself what a wonderful world.”
