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Outlander

Last week’s episode of Outlander ended with Claire (Caitriona Balfe) discovering that Jamie (Sam Heughan) did not make it back safe after his ambush on the Redcoats. What will she do? What will Jenny do? What does performing bawdy songs in drag have to do with anything?

Let’s dive into it!

The first act of this episode was pretty badass. Claire and Jenny (Laura Donnelly) decide to take matters into their own hands. They ride out of Lallybroch like a couple of bad bitches. After a brief stop to look at some dead guys (and to let Jenny pump her breast milk), they find the Redcoats’ camp and indulge in some cool stealth creeping.

Unfortunately, they immediately see that Jamie isn’t with the Redcoats. They weigh their options and decide the best plan is to use their feminine fainting wiles to entrap a British messenger.

They immediately have another problem: he doesn’t want to talk. Jenny’s solution to all this is torture. She would get along with Jessica Chastain’s character in Zero Dark Thirty.

Claire then realizes that the messenger is probably carrying a message. She combs through his authentic 1742 messenger bag and finds a note that says that Jamie has escaped. She destroys the letter and then she and Jenny have a moral and philosophical debate on the ethics of murdering the messenger. On the one hand, it’s wrong. On the other, he will — whoa! Murtagh arrives out of nowhere and slashes the guy’s throat. Debate over.

Murtagh, if you’ll recall, was one of Jamie’s bros back at Castle Leoch. He was an older bro, a quiet bro, but still a bro.

Now that Claire has a bro at her side, Jenny can return to Lallybroch where she can take care of her legless husband and NEWBORN BABY.

Before she goes, though, Claire gives her advice from the future. Namely, she’s supposed to plant potatoes. Claire also talks about a famine coming, and a war, and you want to be like, “Uh, Claire, who died and made you Scotland’s Nostradamus?”

Oh, Geillis did? Okay. Play on.

After Jenny leaves, things get kind of weird.

This is probably a good time to say that I read Outlander a year and a half ago. I liked it a lot. However, I don’t remember puppet shows or fire breathers or a subplot where Murtagh starts dancing for Scottish villagers in an attempt to reach to Jamie. I mean, it’s possible this whole next part is in the story, but I blocked it out. I mean, I don’t know why I would conveniently forget about a marionette show that depicts Claire’s life story, but I did.

For whatever reason, Murtagh thinks that he and Claire should draw attention to themselves in an effort to draw Jamie to them. After he hears Claire sing “The Boogie-Woogie Bugle Boy,” he gets the brilliant idea that Claire should dress in drag and sing a dirty Scottish song that Jamie liked when he was a kid.

Like I said, this whole subplot sounds like something I would remember reading in the book, but I don’t. I have no recollection of any of this, which is a shame because if I remembered reading about it, then all this might make more logical sense.

Instead, I’m confused. And I’m feeling some acute secondhand embarrassment for Claire.

She becomes a hit. Probably because these people didn’t have anything else to do but drink, have sex, and die.

There’s a whole subplot involving a band of gypsies — (Is it okay to call them gypsies? They’re referred to as “gypsies” in the story.) — and how they steal the copyright to Claire’s performance and she throws all of Lallybroch’s money at them to stop. But they don’t stop. Why? Because they’re gypsies and songs are like birds. They belong to anyone who cages them. It’s a really befuddling subplot that I’ll circle back to in a bit.

Last week, Jenny gave Claire some really exquisite bracelets that had belonged to her mother. This week, we learn that Murtagh gave them to Jamie and Jenny’s mother. Yes, Murtagh is the Snape to Jamie’s Harry Potter.

(Coincidentally, Murtagh has good taste in jewelry.)

Let’s return to the gypsy subplot. They let Claire know that a Scotsman has been asking after her. It’s Jamie! Claire and Murtagh are psyched that their completely non-sensical plan worked! They go off to meet Jamie and it turns out…

It’s NOT Jamie. It’s Dougal!

Dougal drops the sad news that Jamie was recaptured by the British, given an unfair trial, and is sentenced to die. When? Today, tomorrow, whatever. Dougal is already talking about his nephew in the past tense. And he’s also already making the moves on Claire. He totally wants to marry her! He tries to explain that he’s the only person who can protect her now, but Claire quickly cottons to the fact that he’s marrying her for Lallybroch.

Claire is creeped out, but Claire is also undeterred.

She decides that she will attempt to lead a party to storm the jail where Jamie is being kept in an attempt to save him. She wants Dougal to let her take any men she can convince to take up the cause. Dougal thinks she’s nuts. He only acquiesces when she agrees to marry him if they can’t save Jamie. Dougal is a creep.

Of course, Claire has to convince Dougal’s men to join her on this crazy quest.

Three dudes and Murtagh decide to join her. Everyone else can burn in Hell for abandoning our beloved Scottish prince of love.

The episode ends with Claire and her posse overlooking the fort. This will be…interesting.

Next week: Claire saves Jamie? We think? We hope? Yikes!!! [Where to Stream Outlander]

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